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Thread: Dear God...

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Pensacola Beach,FL

    Dear God...

    TO: GOD:
    Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

    Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

    Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?

    Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

    Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

    Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

    Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

    Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

    1 . I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

    2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

    3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

    4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

    5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

    6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

    7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

    8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

    9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

    10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

    11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

    12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

    P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
    Owned by two little pastries!


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Shhh it's a secret;)
    HAHAHAHA this one had me cracking up

    The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
    "To all the dogs I've loved before...Who traveled in & out my door...I'm glad you came along...I dedicate this song to all the dogs I've loved before"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Chihuahua, Mexico
    ROFLMAO !!!!!!! i literally fell of my chair !!!! so funny...........loved it
    Corinna´s Christmas Card Swap ´06
    dedicated to a lovely woman who won many hearts along her life...........
    she will be deeply missed.......Thank you for letting us be a part of your life, you will surely remain in ours FOREVER........R.I.P. Dear Corinna

    Best Fireman in da House´10
    dedicated to the kindest,loveliest and always helpful dude that one would be honored and proud to know........R.I.P. Dear Phred

    notes-to-my-husband blog

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Charlotte, Michigan
    That was wonderful!!!!! clap, clap, clap, clap, clap!!!!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Charlotte, Michigan
    Wow, we posted at just about the same time, the page jumped up and down, must be we were really cracking up!!!!

  6. #6
    Hehe that is very cute! I got that in an e-mail from a friend and posted it on another forum I belong to

    "To err is human; to forgive, canine."

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    lol, that is GREAT. I was really laughing out loud!

  8. #8
    LMAO! That is wonderful! I especially like the part about the sofa is not a "face towel"!! Thank you for posting that!

    Thank you so much Kay for this great Sig!!

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