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Thread: Chronic Disorganization

  1. #1
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    Chronic Disorganization

    I've been like this all my life...and now that I am moving into a job where I will have to get better at this, I am scared.

    My mom thinks she would be a fine counsellor - she believes in clearing out the clutter first, and that will solve things.

    But I want to get a grip on what is BEHIND this and change it - or I will keep repeating the same crap over and over. I will not BECOME organized by having someone tell me what to throw out!

    I have emailed my doc to see if there are counsellors that deal with this.

    Has anyone else found the demons? I have searched the internet - but with the wrong search phrase, have not really found anything.

    INPUT PLEASE! This could wreck my living and my life.

    hugs
    Catty1
    "Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens reflect the kind of care they get." -- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

  2. #2
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    First things first - don't be so hard on yourself. Secondly, getting organized is not necessarily "throwing out the clutter" but merely rearranging it in a way that works for you.

    In my job I have to be extremely well organized to be effective - it's a function of my responsibility. I have found the most important task is to prioritize the things that are important. After I have determined what my priorities are, the next step is to focus on those priorities and do my best to complete what I start. Sometimes I get thrown a curve ball, that is, the project I'm working on gets shifted or tossed. In those cases, it is best to let it go and move on to the next important task and focus on it.

    Good organization is not a simple thing; it requires flexibility. Our world is constantly changing and we usually need to change with it. For some that is not a hardship; for others, it is excruciately painful. Perhaps you need to spend some time determining how changes affect you. That could shed some light on the situation and help you decide how best you can handle things that disrupt your organizational patterns.

    Most important is to not be afraid to ask others for help. If something is unclear and it creates disorganization in your mind, your actions will follow the same pattern. Explain the confusion and ask for clarification and then act accordingly. You will find most people are willing to help and will respect you more for being open and communicating with them.

    Please remember that behaviours don't change overnight and give yourself a chance to do your best. Also, please remember to treat yourself when something goes well and you have worked hard to ensure that success. You deserve it!

    Cheers

  3. #3
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    Thanks, Betty.

    I have been through more counselling and stuff all my life, and my life HAS improved by being on a certain medication. Believe me, I am not pro-med - but after being off it for periods of time, and hitting the wall time and time again, I realized I had a 'diabetic brain'...the chemical imbalance was not going to fix itself, no matter what.

    So I have contacted my Dr about this...and did some nosing around on the net. Now, I KNOW ADD in adults is a very controversial topic...but I want to explore this.

    This early on - I just describe this as similar to being colour blind....I can look at tips for organizing, and even implement one or two - but never for any length of time. It's like all my life there was something I just "didn't get" - and I was unemployable and frantically all over the place as a road musician.

    A bunch of this is out of context....along with good advice, and kindly - as you gave - I want my mind to be able to grasp and implement it.

    Hard to explain...I can't snap out of it til I understand what "it" is.

    Sorry if I am making no sense....thank you so much for replying!
    hugs
    Catty1
    "Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens reflect the kind of care they get." -- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

  4. #4
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    You are most welcome and definitely right - I don't fully understand how you are feeling. I can certainly empathize with your frustration and wish I could offer other sources for you to explore.

    If a chemical imbalance is a possible culprit, you are wise to consult your physician and/or someone that he/she recommends. With the array of medications available to us today, surely there must be something that works. Have you considered consulting a Naturopath? Just putting other ideas out there ... I have no experience with this myself.

    In any event, I admire you for taking the reins and exploring all possibilities. Your happiness is important and I'm sure the search will be worth it.

    Hugs to you,
    Betty

  5. #5
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    Hi, Betty - I did some net searching, and got good info on Wikipedia. They did mention a new med, Seterra (sp?), that is not the stimulant and addictive med like the other ones could be. It seems the brain neurochemical norepinephrine is involved with ADD. The med I am on looks after its sister, serotonin!

    There is a good naturopath in Calgary...he is trained in regular medicine as well as other things. I have a drug plan, but our provincial health care does not cover alternative physicians. Though they might him.

    I'll start with my doc. Also, a long-time friend of mine was diagnosed with adult ADD, and I have written her asking if she would share her experience with me.

    I don't want to be a druggie...but I read some stuff tonight that switched on a light bulb...and at last I think I know what has been "wrong" all these years...as I always felt something was.

    I am over 10 years sober, and have worked on the inner changes involved there.

    Anyway, I am starting to ramble, so I will leave off here.

    Thank you again.

    Catty1

    hugs
    Catty1
    "Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens reflect the kind of care they get." -- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

  6. #6
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    The first step in dealing with a problem is recognizing that it exists and you have done that. You are light years ahead with just this one piece. Find something a *system* that fits your way of thinking. Look to what you have organized in your life for clues as to what works for you, whether it is in your kitchen, your clothing, your method of doing laundry, etc.

    I grew up in a very disorganized home. When I went to college I observed how others organized their clothing and was amazed and eager to live like that. Look to others in your work life to see how they organize their routines.

    Purging is one of the corner stones of organization. You do need to determine if you are hanging onto things that are no longer important in your life and if so, why. No one can really tell you what to throw away, the trick is determining that for yourself. Not an easy task and a battle that I fight myself. But I do believe it is the most important part of becoming organized. Don't fault your mother for emphasizing it.
    *Until one has loved an animal, a part of ones soul remains unawakened.* Anatole France

  7. #7
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    When I saw the title of this thread I sort of expected Rachel would become a part of it as the two of us have discussed this many times. I, too, came from a home where my mom had a love of knick knacks and was very disorganized and then it went on to become a house of clutter after my dad passed away. She always had a problem with organizing but never got to second base because the first step in organizing is to create space by throwing out things that aren't used/needed any more. I watched her many times search for things because she had no idea where to look and would then have to go out and purchase the item over again. I swore I would never live like that and, if you ask my hubby, I have probably allowed the pendulum to swing too far the other way.

    The topic of cluttering has come up recently on several TV shows. Some have alluded to the fact that it is a type of obsessive compulsive disorder and responds to medication. If so, how I wish I would have known that years ago as my mom could have certainly benefitted. She hesitated to invite people over because her house was, as she'd say, "not straight."

    I commend you for acknowledging the problem. As Rachel said, that is Step One. You have already overcome a bigger demon in your life with your victory over alcohol so I know you will win over this as well.

    There is a healthy eating thread which has recently begun and will be called *Fitness Fridays* starting next week. The advice there is amazing and the group of ladies involved are, I am sure, motivating many people who lurk but never post. Perhaps this thread will too.

    Gosh, there are so many things that can hinder a happy healthy lifestyle. Smoking is another. My hubby has been smoking and talking about quitting for years. *sigh* Breaking free of habits and self-defeating lifestyles is hard but I think a forum (even inside PT) can be invaluable. Sorry to ramble and get off topic a little.

    Edit: Catty1, I just re-read your initial post and am now thinking that you are referring to *mental disorganization.* If so I am sorry I took your thread in a different direction.

  8. #8
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    My opinion....

    Hey, hang in there.

    Clutter, both mental and physical can keep you unfocused. I think everyone has been disorganized at some point in the life. There are some folks who struggle with it. None of us are perfect. If you are in the middle of it, you know best when you have had enough.

    I think, and I am not a professional on this topic, but, I think each of us knows what our problems are.....but sometimes just don't know how to fix them. You seem to be going in the direction you need to be going...seeking professional help.

    I have worked with adults with ADD, married a guy who had a serious drinking problem...no longer married....but....anyway. I think you are looking for answers and that is so important for progress. Keep going in this direction and hopefully you will feel better about having been given the genes you have and the life you have had.....and maybe your life will be progressively better if you try to seek help to make changes.

    Be kind to yourself. Things don't change overnight.

    I wish you luck and lots of stength and you know, you have SO much support here.

    If you think you are the only one with problems, you are not. None of us are perfect. Well. Maybe one person here may be perfect...... just kidding.....

    We all have our basket of problems.

    ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))).................. ..

    SAS

  9. #9
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    Catty1,

    You got some great advice here. Believe me, there are times when when even I get into ruts like that. I feel down but don't know why. I've learned to try and figure out what triggered it. Sometimes I can, sometimes I can't. And you're right. You can't fix it unless you know what "it" is. I've figured out that every year from August 1 through December, I get into this funk. It has to do with my Dad's death, my Mom and Grandfather's death. It happens every year. I've learned to live with it.

    Like everyone here said, don't be too hard on yourself. You've been though alot the past coupld of weeks.

    ((((HUGS))) and here's hoping you find out what "IT" is.

    Rest In Peace Casey (Bubba Dude) Your paw print will remain on my heart forever. 12/02
    Mollie Rose, you were there for me through good times and in bad, from the beginning.Your passing will leave a hole in my heart.We will be together "One Fine Day". 1994-2009
    MooShoo,you left me too soon.I wasn't ready.Know that you were my soulmate and have left me broken hearted.I loved you like no other. 1999 - 2010See you again "ONE FINE DAY"
    Maya Linn, my heart is broken. The day your beautiful blue eyes went blind was the worst day of my life.I only wish I could've done something.I'll miss your "premium" purr and our little "conversations". 1997-2013 See you again "ONE FINE DAY"

    DO NOT BUY WHILE SHELTER ANIMALS DIE!!

  10. #10
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    Thanks, folks. BELIEVE me, I do NOT think I am the only one with problems! Actually, I wouldn't trade my life with anyone else's!

    If I appear self-involved, it's because I look back over my life recently and realized "something" was ALWAYS not right...then I do some research and find quotes and symptom lists on the net - then "HOLY S***! NOW THIS MAKES SENSE!"

    Yes, I HAVE been through a lot lately...but also recognize a lifelong pattern. Nothing huge or major, but just a constant jitter of experiences that could have been much different - healthier.

    And, having FINALLY (after a couple of defiant decades) accepted my diagnosis of one chemical imbalance - it makes sense to me that another chemical might be involved.

    Pam - you are absolutely right. And my point (with my mom's POV) is that it STARTS in the mental area and shows in the outward behaviour and way of living. My point with my Mom is that fixing this from the outside - where I am concerned - just WILL not work for any length of time, because I will not be able to keep it that way!

    Do any of you find that, when a brain chemical is out of whack and presents physical symptoms - like Parkinson's - it is generally accepted as an illness? But when the symptoms are emotional or behavioural, one is expected to Suck It Up or Snap Out Of It?

    OK, my little vent for today!

    Thank you all very much...it is a scary time right now...

    hugs hugs hugs
    Catty1
    "Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens reflect the kind of care they get." -- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

  11. #11
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    Do any of you find that, when a brain chemical is out of whack and presents physical symptoms - like Parkinson's - it is generally accepted as an illness? But when the symptoms are emotional or behavioural, one is expected to Suck It Up or Snap Out Of It?
    Catty1,

    Boy does THAT make me want to 6itch slap someone upside the head!! Like, "Helloooooooo, don't you think if it was THAT easy, I would've done it by now???"

    I only wish it were that easy. I don't like taking meds anymore than anyone else. However, this is one problem I cannot seem to get away from. I've weaned myself off anti-depressants, with the help of my doctor, and tried herbal stuff. Nothing but the real stuff (meaning prescription) seemed to work. I never want to be in that "black" area again.

    Depression also does a number on your sobriety. I can't tell you how many times I wanted a drink SOOOOOO badly. But instead of picking up the bottle, I picked up the needles. KNITTING NEEDLES that is! There are gonna be alot of people with nice scarves to keep them warm this winter!

    You have to do what is right for YOU. We're here if you need us.

    Rest In Peace Casey (Bubba Dude) Your paw print will remain on my heart forever. 12/02
    Mollie Rose, you were there for me through good times and in bad, from the beginning.Your passing will leave a hole in my heart.We will be together "One Fine Day". 1994-2009
    MooShoo,you left me too soon.I wasn't ready.Know that you were my soulmate and have left me broken hearted.I loved you like no other. 1999 - 2010See you again "ONE FINE DAY"
    Maya Linn, my heart is broken. The day your beautiful blue eyes went blind was the worst day of my life.I only wish I could've done something.I'll miss your "premium" purr and our little "conversations". 1997-2013 See you again "ONE FINE DAY"

    DO NOT BUY WHILE SHELTER ANIMALS DIE!!

  12. #12
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    Donna - you might know that Bill W., co-founder of AA, suffered from BLACK depressions his whole life. He died in 1972 of emphysema (never did quit smoking) - and there were no really effective meds til way after that. The ones before then would have been 'alcohol in pill form', in my opinion only.

    I suspect a lot of us drinkers 'self-medicated' for years...and crossed the line into addiction.

    Sorry - I still get into the paralysis of analysis!

    Thank you for the support. I really hope for a solution here. I will keep you posted.

    Catty1
    "Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens reflect the kind of care they get." -- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

  13. #13
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    Catty I so empathize with you on this, I have Crohns disease, which means I look fine on the outside but I am not always fine on the inside. People will see me park in a handicap zone(with a tag of course0 and you wouldn't believe the comments I get because I am not in a wheelchair or on crutches! If someone knew the amount of pain it took to just walk into the store etc so that I could go home and lie down anyway ADD in adults is often misdiagnosed, my hubby Jaspers went for yrs without a diagnosis and He is on Zoloft and a few other meds to combat his disease. Hang in there it may take a few tries of mixing meds and doses to help you "get it" as you say, but be aware some of us are just naturally cluttery! My motto? a clean desk is the sign of a bored mind! LOL just a bit of humor to help you not be so hard on yourself. Good luck and Blessed Be!

  14. #14
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    Thanks, Dr Goodnow...I have a friend whose adult daughter has been diagnosed with Crohn's (and is continuing to finish her RN studies this year, brave girl!)

    I suggested the Aloe Beverage that I distribute...and I KNOW how people with chronic conditions get all sorts of things pushed at them. (my sister died of MS in April, after 20 years with it...and my dad had melanoma...so we got all SORTS of 'advice")

    I am not pushing...I just know first hand that this gave great relief to her(still has meds) and another person with acid reflux.

    Thank you for your words...I am sure gonig to nail this down. Almost 50 - but better late than never!

    hugs
    Catty1
    "Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens reflect the kind of care they get." -- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

  15. #15
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    Cat if you are referring to pure Aloe Juice I do use that also a powder called immune26 that has helped greatly! My prayers and hugs to the nurse to be! may she have little pain and lots of Joy! and thank you cat for thinking of me so sweetly!
    Hugs and wet dog noses as Rusty is trying to eat the keyboard!

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