We are having some problems with Olliver. :( With our past introductions, it only took a few days for the "new" cat to either ignore the others or at least tolerate the others. Oliver is doing the opposite, he gets worse every day.
Day 1: Oliver gets home and is fine in his new room. Before bedtime, David introduces Oliver to Basil. (I know, he still doesn't understand cat timing.) Oliver freaks out and David has to pull Basil out of the line of attack. Oliver sulks away growling.
Day 2: Oliver spends some time in his room, resting and eating. Everytime to door is opened, he cries. After realizing there aren't any cats, he calms a bit and plays with us. Once, again, when we get up to leave, he heads for the door, ready to lunge! That night, he went to lunge and hit my legs instead of Basie.
Day 3: Oliver begins to cry...he's bored of his room. So, we allow him to stay in our bedroom with either I or David for a few hours. He love it. BUT....gets REALLY territoral of our bedroom door. The last half of his time in there is spent gaurding, hissing and growling at the door.
Day 4: Same as Day three...more hissing at his closet door though.
Day 5: We decide to take the screen door from the patio and put it in front of his door. We thought he would like the air and it would help in realizing the four other cats own the apartment. It gave them a chance to safely meet him. He growled and hissed all night.
Day 6: Oliver was doing OK....until about 2:45 a.m. He was banging on the closet door, crying loudly. He wouldn't stop so I had to go sleep on the floor with him. Daytime was filled with hisses amd lunges to the door. Its especially worse in our bedroom.
Day 7: Went to vet and bought a Feliway room diffuser and Feliway spray. This is suposed to put the pharamones that calm them in the air. It worked a little bit. We went from him hissing violently to a soft cry/growl through the screen door. When he got too excited, I sprayed extra...with calmed him. Decided that for us to get any sleep, Oliver would have to switch rooms...he and David now live in our bedroom and I'm on the couchbed. The other four couldn't deal with me being locked in the room at night (my sweeties).
Day 8: Feliway was plugged in and he seems a bit calmer. We still have the screen up, but at least he has the bed to hide under. Still hissing, but I think he now feels a bit better in a bigger room with lots of hiding places. BTW, while sleeping with David, he's cuddly and sweet. Same with me, he's a total sweetie to us, unless he's growling at the cats...he turns on us a bit too. :(
Day 9: Today. Feliway is still plugged in and he was nice last night to David. Although...David came out a few hours ago and said "I don't think this is going to work out." He said that he took Basie into the bedroom (READ: VERY SUBMISSIVE cat) and put him on his lap while David was on the bed. Oliver was in the window cat bed. He said Oliver sat and hissed and growled at Basie. David talked soothingly to Oliver and pet Basie...trying to show how nice Basie is. Oliver began to swipe at him! :(
During this time, I've:
*Talked to the cats while sitting with Oliver through the screen door.
*Sat outside the screen with the two or three cats that care he's in there and talked, cuddled and pet them. To show Oliver.
*I've left Oliver alone when he starts his hissing...trying to teach him not to.
*We close his closet and bedroom door and place the screen against the door, so the cats aren't always annoying him under the door. So he feels safe.
Olivia was very much like Oliver when we got her...but it took her three days to realize that she'd have to tolerate or ignore the other cats. Yes, she would hiss (and still hisses at Noah), but that was the end of it. No lunging, no swatting. When Olivia and Noah get into it, I cover Olivia's head with my hand (gently) and tell her to stop and then pet Noah. I tried this with Oliver and he growls and hisses at me. :(
The thing is, our cats are doing OK with this. We've given them a ton of extra love and playtime. Its Oliver that I'm worried about. I hate that he's so on gaurd all the time, and that's WITH the pharmones.
HELP??? The lady at the vet said that she was in love with him and that if things didn't work out, she would totally take him in a ssecond. That's really nice, at least I know if it came to that, he'd have a great home. But still....I love him.... :(
What makes me mad is the shelter said he got along with other cats.... :mad:
:( :( :(
you are pannicking again. I told you....DEEP breaths....TIME.....
It may well take longer. And I do recall very similar fears with miss Olivia. Which cat of yours would give him a whollop or 2? He may need some cat to show him to back off. With the soft claws in place they aren't going to damage each other too much (yes of course they can bite, but it might only take one little nip to have him back down)
Was he a recent neuter? Maybe he still has some hormones racing in his system. That is very possible.
It is nice to know that he can have a potential home if it never works out, but I truthfully think the cats just need to show him how to act.
My instinct is that Oliver needs more time - just as Jen said. But, meanwhile, I want you to know you have my sincere sympathy at having to go through the transition! Human and kitty nerves on edge is NO FUN!!!!! :eek:
Be strong - but don't feel guilty if you need to find Oliver another home. Best wishes to you all!
I agree....patience. You've been INCREDIBLY lucky with your kids so far. It only stands to reason that every new furbaby you get increases the chances of ending up with a "problem child". He may need the tar gently kicked out of him by one of your more established kitties. I was told that all black boy kitties would prefer to be only kids however my two boys just had to "get over it" and live in relative harmony now. Hang in there kid. They will sort themselves out.
Its so cute!!!! I went to check on him and David was sleeping (not feeling well) on the bed. Oliver was laying in the crook of him tummy. What a doll!!!
Thanks Jenn. We'll do that. I'm going to take Noah & Livvy in for their soft paws tomorrow.
Hi. I would have to say, I agree with JEN. Just be calm, and know some cats take a long time to get accustomed to other kitties, and yes, he may have to get "put in his place" by one of your other kitties, just to realize where he is and that its HOME.
Just keep trying at it, and be patient. I'm sure he'll come around eventually. One of my cats when I was little that I rescued took 6 months to get used to other cats. It just takes time. Some cats are more loners than others and have to learn to get past the introduction stages.
Keep us updated, and I wish you all the best with Oliver. I just know he'll get used to not being an only baby and realize how lucky he is to have brothers and sisters! :)
*hugs and scritchies to Mr. Oliver*
Thanks guys! We'll try it. It's just hard because it is getting worse...but I think you are all correct, he needs to see this isn't HIS house. I think Livvy will set him straight.
I am NOT going to give any advice on introducing them, since Kylie is my first cat, I have no experience with that.
But I WILL give support.
Kelly, you are trying and that is more than SOME other people would have tried. If you DO have to take him back, please know that you tried and he probably needs to be a single cat - cat.
Maybe the shelter didn't lie, maybe the people did that took him to the shelter?
Thank you Staci. :)
He was in a two story cage. He was in the top cage, and a gray cat was in the bottom. At one time, I was petting him and the cat below wanted love. The gray cat put his paws through the side of the cage to play with Oliver...Oliver didn't play with him, but he didn't mind it either...
Be patient. It took our second oldest about 6 months to warm up to us and her older sister cat. Also, she and our youngest cat don't get along at all - so we try to keep them separated as best we can.
Good luck with Oliver. He may never be "lovey dovey"' with his siblings but as long as he can co-exist with them and he's loving and affectionate with you , you're fine. I've had cats (littermates even ) who just barely tolerated each other for about 15 years . Till the day one passed on and then the other was very upset for months. Go figure. What is this Feliway diffuser? Is more effective than the spray ? I may have need of it in a few weeks when my parents move back up north again. They have spoiled and pampered my kitties and we work such long hours..I'm afraid they are going to have a difficult time adjusting to the change.
Thank goodness I have your support....hubby is NOT excited about letting them figure it out. :(
The diffuser is like those plug-in room fresheners. This will reach a 650 sq. ft area. I wanted both, so his calmness is constant. I think either one would help in your case, two would be too much I think. :)
I also agree that you can't put a timetable based on your experience with the other cats. Every cat will have their own timeframe for adjusting. I'm glad you did get the Feliway plug in and that it is working.
This really is a very short time for adjustment. Have you tried rubbing Oliver down with a towel that has the other cat's scent on it? Scent is so important for a cat, you can sometimes calm them down this way and get them use to the other scents.
Another suggestion, is to actually put a scent on the end of Oliver's nose. You can dab a bit of vanilla on the end of Oliver's nose so that he is only smelling that, instead of all the other intimidating cat smells.
It can be a lengthy process to get cats to accept each other. But, you really have to take a time out and slowly introduce them - at their own acceptance rates.
And don't be discouraged if you do have to return him to the shelter. Maybe Oliver would be better in a single cat household., but it's really hard for us to tell at this point in the process.
We're all here sending 'get along cat' vibes your way! Hang in there!
Kelly, I'm so sorry to hear that you're having such a difficult time with your new kitty Oliver. :( I don't have any advice to offer but I'm sure that things will work out in time. Some cats just take longer to adjust than others. My new kitty Cirrus is fairly well adjusted to my cats but not to me. I have the opposite problem that you have. Cirrus may take several months to even let me pet him. Please don't give up yet. Just remember we're all here for emotional support. :)
Aww Kelly :( Just know I'm here for you ANY time!!