Dihydrogen monoxide April Fool
Read all the way to the bottom ...
BAN DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE - THE INVISIBLE KILLER!
Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year.
What are the dangers of Dihydrogen Monoxide?
Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and
possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death.
Dihydrogen Monoxide Facts
is also known as hydric acid, and is the major component of acid rain.
contributes to the Greenhouse Effect.
may cause severe burns.
contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.
Dihydrogen Monoxide Alerts
Contamination is reaching epidemic proportions!
Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream, lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. In the midwest alone DHMO has caused millions of dollars of property damage.
Dihydrogen Monoxide Uses
Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:
.as an industrial solvent and coolant.
.in nuclear power plants.
.in the production of styrofoam.
.as a fire retardant.
.in the distribution of pesticides. Even after washing, produce remains
contaminated by this chemical.
.as an additive in certain junk-foods and other food products.
Stop the horror - Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide
Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be done to stop them because this practice is still legal. The impact on wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer!
Some of the products and places where DHMO is used, but which for one reason or another, are not normally made part of public presentations on the dangers to the lives of our family members and friends. Among these startling uses are:
-as an additive to food products, including jarred baby food and baby formula, and even in many soups, carbonated beverages and supposedly "all-natural" fruit juices
-in cough medicines and other liquid pharmaceuticals,
-in spray-on oven cleaners,
-in shampoos, shaving creams, deodorants and numerous other bathroom products,
-in bathtub bubble products marketed to children,
-as a preservative in grocery store fresh produce sections,
-in the production of beer by all the major beer distributors,
-in the coffee available at major coffee houses in the US and abroad,
-in Formula One race cars, although its use is regulated by the Formula One Racing Commission, and
-as a target of ongoing NASA planetary and stellar research.
APRIL FOOL! WHAT IS DHMO? You know it better as H2O = water!!!
Gotcha!! Describing water as dihydrogen monoxide is correct according to chemical nomenclature, but almost never done.
Check out this utterly serious Web site ...
With apologies to Lilith Cherry...
A Western business executive visits his dear Chinese friend in hospital. "Li kai yang qi guan," says the ill man feebly. The Westerner desperately wants to help him, but he doesn't speak Mandarin. "Li kai yang qi guan!" says the patient, as he draws his last breath.
Later that year, the executive is in Shanghai on business when he finally learns the meaning of Li kai yang qi guan: "Get off my oxygen tube."
(source: Reader's Digest article, "The World's Funniest Jokes")