Stress Relief 101

Good morning and welcome to Stress Relief 101! Course materials include:

** 1 (or more) pet(s)
** a set of lungs
** 1 (or more) favorite quote(s)

Ready? Let's begin...
First, go grab your furbie(s) and give them a big hug! Hey...I see YOU!!...you aren't moving! Go!! Get!! They could use a hug and it'll do you good, too! Ok, good.

Next, you'll be using those lungs. Take a deep, deep breath through your nose and hold....holddd Ok you in the back--yes, you the one that's turning blue---go ahead and release!....hollddd... and release thru your mouth.

Ok, now...got that quote ready? Post away!!!

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One thing that helps me to relax is to re-read my quote journals (yes, I'm a dorkie english major...have 2 journals filled with quotes! lol) Tension on pet talk (and life in general) sometimes runs high, and I thought this might be a good place for ppl to relieve stress in a constructive manner. Hope you enjoy...feel free to post as many as you want!

Never make a permanent decision based on a temporary storm. Not matter how raging the billows are today, remind yourself: "This to shall pass!"

~T.D. Uakes (or is it Jakes...ack! can't read my writing!)

If you're feeling low, don't despair. The sun has a sinking spell every night, but it comes back up every morning!

Losing, in a curious way, is winning.

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart. I have overcome the world.
Jesus Christ
John 16:33

I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions; and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.
Jesus Christ
Luke 10:19

Here are a few of my fave's:
It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

- Abraham Lincoln

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

- Thomas Edison

Ok, a few Profound thoughts..... Things that make ya go Hmmm..:

Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.

Is a book listing the definitions of habitual substances known as an addictionary?

Seen on a bumper sticker:

Grow your own dope, plant a man.


:D Great idea Tonya....this was fun.:D

Can't we all just get along!
I was thinking this when I went to bed last night & wanted to post it but didn't know where, thanks Tonya for giving me a place!

Quote:

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Originally posted by LoudLou
Grow your own dope, plant a man.

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ha!! Kinda like,

The quickest way to a man's heart: saw thru the chest.:p

LOL :D :D :D

Quote:

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The quickest way to a man's heart: saw thru the chest

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Quote:

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Grow your own dope, plant a man.

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I have done point 1 and 2 of the stress relief exercise before I left for work, but I can't think of anything for point 3 :eek: :o : Perhaps because I'm at work and my brain has gone into "dull mode"?. Have to try again tonight :D

Great idea Zippy-Kat.

I have two...one serious and one fun one...

"Those that sacrifice essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" -- Ben Franklin

And....

I am out of estrogen and I have a gun. -- anonymous



I use the second one at work A LOT!!!:D :D
I know I have a few more but Ben is my favorite.

Gio, that is exactly how I feel! It's like this place sucks most of the life right out of me!!!!!

Thanks Tonya! This was a great idea! Here's one I saw over the past weekend that is appropriate:

"I don't know the quickest way to a man's heart. My puppy does but she's not telling"

:D

LoudLou, I just love your sense of humor!! I so look forward to all your posts!

"Would you like a glass for that whine?"

Here are a few of my fav. quotes that aren't so serious...

*Earn cash in your spare time--blackmail your friends!

*Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back.

*Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law on a milk carton. (Hey! I'm not married--I'm allowed that one! lol)

*A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

*I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

*And which Dwarf are you?

*Guy's have feelings too. But like....who cares?!

*So few men. So few who can afford me.

*God made us sisters, Prozac made us friends.

* Princess, having had sufficient experience with Princes, seeks frog.

*What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!

*Chocolate, coffee, men...some things are just better rich.

*In America, anyone can become President--that's one of the risks you take.

*Don't ditch bad friends, their dysfunctions should make you feel better about yourself!

*Heart attacks: God's revenge for eating his animal friends.

*I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.

*I'm already visualizing duct tape over your mouth.

*If you don't like my driving, don't call anyone. Just take another road. That's why the highway dept. made so many of them!

*Crankiness--for me it's just as natural as morning!

And one more...(this was on our answering machine for awhile when I had my roommate:rolleyes: )

A is for academics.
B is for beer.
One of those reasons is
Why we're not here.

Leave a message...

:D :D :D LOL
Where do you get them from? They're hilarious! :D :D :D

How much virtue there is in simply seeing.

--Henry David Thoreau (sp?)

Man is the only animal that blushes, or has the need to!
Samuel Clemmens aka Mark Twain
This is not only my favorite, it's the only one I can remember.
:)

Quote:

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Originally posted by LoudLou

Seen on a bumper sticker:

Grow your own dope, plant a man.


:D Great idea Tonya....this was fun.:D

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ROTFL
That's a good one! LOL LOL :D

*What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!
This one I can relate to!! I don't know what it is, but no matter where I go...some sort of wierdo latches on. I even warned a co-worker of this strange phenomena before we went on a tradeshow several weeks ago...and sure enough she witnessed the oddness of it all. We even tried several ways to get rid of the guy, but to no avail and we finally left the building. I won't bore ya'll with the details, but it was funny!

Anyway, some of my favorite animal related quotes include:

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
- Will Rogers

We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made.
- M. Facklam

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
- Anonymous

Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard.
- Dave Barry

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your
face.
- Ben Williams

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
- Andrew A. Rooney

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
-Steven Wright.

OK OK, enough of the animal quotes, here are a few non-animal quotes that give me a chuckle...:D

"It's not easy going through life being so good-looking."
-Zoolander

"Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac."
-George Carlin

"The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with."
Marty Feldman

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
- Albert Einstein

"If a man does his best, what else is there?"
- General George S. Patton

"His ignorance is encyclopedic"
- Abba Eban

"Do, or do not. There is no 'try'."
- Yoda

Ok, I'll stop for now! LOL LOL


:D :D :D

Inside my empty bottle I was constructing a lighthouse while all the others
were making ships. -Charles Simic

Me loves quotes let's see if I can find some good ones for ya.

"Wisdom makes a weak man strong, a poor man king, a good generation of a bad one, and a foolish man reasonalbe."

"I drink the wine of aspiration and the drug of illusion. Thus I am never dull." -John Glasworthy.

"A Canadian is someone who knows how to make love in a canoe."-Pierre Berton

"Hatred paralyzes life;Love releases it. Hatred confues life;love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life;love illuminates it." -Martin Luther King Jr.

"A true friend is the greatest of all blesssings, and that which we take the least care of all to acquire." - La Rochefoucauld

"I would prefer even to fail with honor than win by cheating." -Sophocles

"A laugh is the loud echo of a sigh; a sight the faint echo of a laugh." -Sean O'Casey.

"Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." -Hebrews 1:1

Life's greatest treasures come from the heart.

To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart. ~Phyllis Theroux

I have a very firm grasp on reality! I can reach out and strangle it any time! ~Author Unknown

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics. ~Author Unknown

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them. ~Phil Pastoret

Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!" Winter is nature's way of saying, "Up yours."

It is impossible to keep a straight face in the presence of one or more kittens. ~Cynthia E. Varnado

My favorites:

"Depression is merely anger without enthusiam" (I love this one because I suffer from depression. 2 years without meds! Yea, for me!!!!)


"Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held it's ground"

"Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny. "

ok now for the 4th time in trying to post on this topic!! Certainly wasn't a stress relief for me!!!! :)
Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing. -- Ben Franklin
I don't remember when I first begun to call you "friend". One day, I only know, the vague companioship that I'd seen grow
So imperceptibly, turned gold, and ran In tune with all I'd thougth or dared to plan. -- Florence Steigerwalt

and my all-time favorite

DO NOT USE A HATCHET TO REMOVE A FLY FROM YOUR FRIEND'S FOREHEAD! --CHINESE PROVERB

Good ones, Stace!;)

Stace, that last one may be one that I use from now on! Really good one!

"If, after calling your dog several times, and it still does not come to you when you call, go into your home, look in a mirror and examine your conscience."



"If your dog thinks you are absolutely the best person on the face of the earth, don't seek a second opinion."

This is my FAVORITE Dog qoute.


He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your permission" -- Eleanor Roosevelt

"Of course! We still have to eat." Eleanor Roosevelt to the people invited for dinner on December 7, 1941 -- Pearl Harbor Day who asked if they should still come

"A ship is safe in the harbor, but that is not what a ship is for" - unknown

and

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy" - unknown

Quote:

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Originally posted by Edwina's Secretary
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy" - unknown

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LOL that one reminds me of...

While a man's laughter is funny, manslaughter is not.

" For a man to truly understand rejection, he first must
be ignored by a cat."

"By the time they had dimished from 50 to 8, the other
dwarves began to suspect "Hungry"...." Gary Larson.

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The
world owes you nothing. It was here first" Mark Twain.

"Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?"

Fifth Law of Applied Terror:
If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget
your book.

Corollary: If you are given a take-home exam, you will
forget where you live.

well here's all I can think of right now, these 2....

I have PMS, and a gun!!!

Susanne Sugarbaker of Designing Women!!
:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :eek:



Menopause, menstruation, mental.......
why do all our problems start with men?
LOL:eek: :eek: :eek:

Quote:

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It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

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this one is funny!!

open mouth--insert foot!!

Quote:

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Is a book listing the definitions of habitual substances known as an addictionary?

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LOL:cool:

........He was born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad....
Scaramouche

CHRISTMAS PARTY

Festivity Level 1: Your guest are chatting amiably with
each other,admiring your Christmas Tree ornaments,singing
carols around the upright piano,sipping at their drinks and
nibbling hors d'oeuvres.
Festivity Level 2: Your guests are talking loudly--sometimes
to each other,and sometimes to nobody at all, rearranging
your Christmas-tree ornaments,singing "I gotta be me"
around the upright piano, gulping their drinks and wolfing
down hors d'oeuvres.
Festivity Level 3: Your guests are arguing violently with
inanimate objects, singing "I can't get no satisfaction",
gulping down other people's drinks,wolfing down Christmas
tree ornaments and placing hors d'oeuvres in the upright
piano to see what happens when the little hammers
strike.
Festivity Level 4: Your guests, hors d'oeuvres smeared all
over their naked bodies are performing a ritual dance
around the burning Christmas tree...The piano is missing.

You want to keep your party somewhere around level 3,
unless you rent your home and own firearms, in which
case you can go to level 4. The best way to level 3 is
egg-nog.

:eek: ;) :rolleyes: Yiiieee! I regret to inform my many Pet Talk friends and relations that I personally like my Christmas parties at level 1, 1 1/2 TOPS!!! :eek:

;) :D

Oops! Hereby revealing that I'm an ol' (well, middle-aged) party pooper.

Quote:

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Originally posted by AmberLee
:eek: ;) :rolleyes: Yiiieee! I regret to inform my many Pet Talk friends and relations that I personally like my Christmas parties at level 1, 1 1/2 TOPS!!! :eek:

;) :D

Oops! Hereby revealing that I'm an ol' (well, middle-aged) party pooper.

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Yep, I know what you mean, that's me too!

I loved all the other ones....hope I am not duplicating.

1. Life is short, play hard.
2. This is NOT a dress rehersal.
3. Life is FULL of disappointments.
4. If you can't say anything nice about him/her, don't say anything at all.
5. You are judged by the company you keep.
6. Just DO IT!
7. What are you/we waiting for? Enjoy life.
8. Early detection is the answer to many, many health issues for humans and pets. Then take action.
9. Buy in, don't sell out!
10. Always return the shopping cart to the store. It is good exercise!

Quote:

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Originally posted by AmberLee
:eek: ;) :rolleyes: Yiiieee! I regret to inform my many Pet Talk friends and relations that I personally like my Christmas parties at level 1, 1 1/2 TOPS!!! :eek:

;) :D

Oops! Hereby revealing that I'm an ol' (well, middle-aged) party pooper.

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We may reach 2 at some of our parties...

Quote:

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originally posted by Gini
"Would you like a glass for that whine?"

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"Would you like like some cheese with that whine?"