I earlyier told roxyluvesme I wanted to hear some blonde jokes and i'm in the mood for blonde jokes! anybody got some good ones???;)
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I earlyier told roxyluvesme I wanted to hear some blonde jokes and i'm in the mood for blonde jokes! anybody got some good ones???;)
SOOO MANY!! Let Me Find Some.....This is My Specialty :D
this is so cute and funny
Three blonds on death row
Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde.
Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.
The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The redhead then screams, "tornado!!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.
By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The blonde shouts, "fire!!"
and this one hehe
There once was a blonde who was very tired of blonde jokes and insults directed at her intelligence.
So, she cut and dyed her hair, got a make-over, got in her car, and began driving around in the country.
Suddenly, she came to a herd of sheep in the road. She stopped her car and went over to the shepherd who was tending to them.
"If I can guess the exact number of sheep here, will you let me have one?" she asked.
The shepherd, thinking this was a pretty safe bet, agreed.
"You have 171 sheep," said the blonde in triumph.
Surprised, the shepherd told her to pick out a sheep of her choice.
She looked around for a while and finally found one that she really liked.
She picked it up and was petting it when the shepherd walked over to her and asked, "if I can guess your real hair color, will you give me my sheep back?"
The blonde thought it was only fair to let him try. "You're a blonde! Now give me back my dog."
:D I get this one!!!:DQuote:
Originally posted by Roxyluvsme13
and this one hehe
There once was a blonde who was very tired of blonde jokes and insults directed at her intelligence.
So, she cut and dyed her hair, got a make-over, got in her car, and began driving around in the country.
Suddenly, she came to a herd of sheep in the road. She stopped her car and went over to the shepherd who was tending to them.
"If I can guess the exact number of sheep here, will you let me have one?" she asked.
The shepherd, thinking this was a pretty safe bet, agreed.
"You have 171 sheep," said the blonde in triumph.
Surprised, the shepherd told her to pick out a sheep of her choice.
She looked around for a while and finally found one that she really liked.
She picked it up and was petting it when the shepherd walked over to her and asked, "if I can guess your real hair color, will you give me my sheep back?"
The blonde thought it was only fair to let him try. "You're a blonde! Now give me back my dog."
and finally this one
A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.
She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde."
The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
LOL I love them all!
I love the last one!
it took me a second to ge the last one but i think all the bleach went to my brain!:)
All I remember are the cheesy one liners...like...
Why does a blonde always fail her driver's test?
One day, a blonde and a brunette were driving to a party and they were speeding because they were late.
"Watch out for cops," the brunette said.
They drove on for about five minutes when suddenly the blonde said nervously, "I think that's a cop behind us."
"Is it after us?" the brunette questioned.
"Er, um..." answered the blonde.
"Well, is it?" asked the brunette with a growing temper.
"I don't know..."
"Well are it's lights on?" insisted the brunette.
Replied the blonde, "Yes... no... yes... no... yes... no... yes... no..."
Because every time the car stops, she jumps in the back seat.Quote:
Originally posted by finn's mom
All I remember are the cheesy one liners...like...
Why does a blonde always fail her driver's test?
How to keep a dumb blonde occupied:
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i never heard of that one beforeQuote:
Originally posted by finn's mom
Because every time the car stops, she jumps in the back seat.
A blonde and a redhead are walking down the street when the redhead says awww look at that dog with one eye so the blonde cover her left eye and looks.
Funny...Quote:
Originally posted by Flatcoatluver
A blonde and a redhead are walking down the street when the redhead says awww look at that dog with one eye so the blonde cover her left eye and looks.
how about...what do a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
they're both empty from the neck up...
what do a blonde and a turtle have in common?
when they're on their back, they're screwed...
I haven't heard those either omg there are so many blonde jokes!!!!!! weird how i never meant a smart blonde before!
That's strange, because I know plenty of intelligent blondes. People consider me blonde and I'm not dumb. Same as my mom, both uncles, and many of my friends.Quote:
Originally posted by Flatcoatluver
I haven't heard those either omg there are so many blonde jokes!!!!!! weird how i never meant a smart blonde before!
That kind of comment makes blonde jokes not so fun anymore.
Q:Who gets taken out more a cheerleader or the garbage????
A:The garbage becuase you have to take it out mostly everyday.
I had one friend who was blonde, and a lifeguard, and very smart who could - and sometimes did - beat up anyone who made a "dumb blonde" joke.
Not all blondes are dumb - but not all brunettes lack a sense of humor and not all redheads have a temper.
I WAS blonde for the first 4 1/2 years of my life, am now brunette, my intelligence was not affected by my hair changing color ...
Recommence with the blonde jokes knowing that they are, indeed, just jokes.
Just don't repeat them if you see Jodi Kosinski around!
They are all really funny jokes!:)
But... they are only jokes... I know lots of smart blondes!
A young blonde was on vacation and driving through the Everglades.
She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle on prices" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes for free!"
The shopkeeper said with a sly, knowing smile, "Little lady, just go and give it a try!"
The blonde headed out toward the swamps, determined to catch an alligator.
Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he pulls over to the side of the levee where he spots the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky bayou water, shotgun in hand.
Just then, he spots a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning speed, she takes aim, kills the creature and hauls it onto the slimy bank of the swamp. Lying nearby were 7 more of the dead creatures, all lying on their backs.
The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement. The blonde struggled and flipped the gator onto its back. Rolling her eyes heavenward and screaming in great frustration, she
shouts out .
"****, THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO!"
A blonde called her boyfriend and said, "Please come over
here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I
can't figure out how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asked, "What is it supposed to be when it's
finished?" The blonde said, "According to the picture on
the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle.
She let him in and showed him where she had the puzzle
spread all over the table. He studied the pieces for a
moment, then looked at the box, then turned to her and
said, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going
to be able to assemble these pieces into anything
resembling a tiger."
He took her hand and said, "Second, I want you to relax.
Let's have a nice cup of hot chocolate and then," he
sighed, "let's put all these frosted flakes back in the
box."
Here is a blond GUY joke:
The Blonde GUY
They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage!
If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to
jump off this building. The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed,
"Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off,
too."
The blond opened his lunch and said, Bologna again! If I get a bologna
sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."
The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and
cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a
burrito, and jumped, too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the
bologna and jumped to his death as well.
At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd
known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would
have given it to him again!"
The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or
enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."
Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,
"Don't look at me. He packs his own lunch."
Blondes and brunets on a double decker bus
Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City.
The Brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus. The Blonde team rides on the top level.
The Brunette team down below is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the Blondes upstairs. She decides to go up and investigate.
When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in Front of them with white knuckles.
She says, "What the heck's going' on up here? We're having' a grand time downstairs!"
One of the Blondes from the second team looks up and says, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!"
last one....
A blonde lady motorist was two hours from San Diego, when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down.
The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?"
"Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"
"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be delivered to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already, so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you fifty dollars for your trouble."
"I'd be happy to," said the blonde.
So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified! There was the blonde walking down the street, holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of the crowd.
With a screech of his brakes the truck driver pulled his truck off the road, got out, and ran over to the blonde.
"What the heck are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you fifty dollars to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."
"Yes, I know you did," said the blonde, but we had money left over....
so we went to the movies!!!
THOSE ARE SO FUNNY!!!!
now i will share like my all time fave blonde joke :D
What did the blonde say when the doctor told her she was pregnant???
Hey now! I am blonde, and I just got into grad school, so I must not be too dumb :(Quote:
Originally posted by Flatcoatluver
weird how i never meant a smart blonde before!
LOL the jokes are funny though, I can certainly appreciate a good blonde joke :D
The Blonde Said.....
Is it Mine? :D :rolleyes:
thats one blonde joke I do knowQuote:
Originally posted by beeniesmom
A blonde called her boyfriend and said, "Please come over
here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I
can't figure out how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asked, "What is it supposed to be when it's
finished?" The blonde said, "According to the picture on
the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle.
She let him in and showed him where she had the puzzle
spread all over the table. He studied the pieces for a
moment, then looked at the box, then turned to her and
said, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going
to be able to assemble these pieces into anything
resembling a tiger."
He took her hand and said, "Second, I want you to relax.
Let's have a nice cup of hot chocolate and then," he
sighed, "let's put all these frosted flakes back in the
box."
hey all the blonde's no including me try and act dumb that i know so and i don't know that much bolondes anyway!Quote:
Originally posted by JenBKR
Hey now! I am blonde, and I just got into grad school, so I must not be too dumb :(
LOL the jokes are funny though, I can certainly appreciate a good blonde joke :D
I don't get the double decker one :rolleyes:
The brunettes were on the bottom....and the blondes were on the top....being blonde they all thought they were on a separate bus and had no driver:DQuote:
Originally posted by vinjashira
I don't get the double decker one :rolleyes:
ah I see - thanks :D
You're Welcome!!
:D:):D:):D:):D:):D:)
English, please?Quote:
Originally posted by Flatcoatluver
hey all the blonde's no including me try and act dumb that i know so and i don't know that much bolondes anyway!
"Hey, all the blondes no(t?) including me try and act dumb that i know so i don't know that much bolondes anyways?"
Are you saying that you are a blonde yourself, and you think all of the blondes you know try and act dumb, except for yourself?
Okay, I'm a blonde, and I don't try and act dumb.
There, you know someone who proves your statement wrong.
lol the jokes are great!:D
I'm also blonde,and i dont think im dumb.I do have my moments though/:o
Someone once told me that only the people who dye their hair blonde are dumb all the naturals arent....Which with all the natural blondes are smart. Brunettes have the same things as blondes, except we call them brunette moments :D I have lots of brunette moments....:rolleyes:
no sorry i was typing fast and i didn't look at it after i posted sorry basically i mean that everybody i know think that if there really dumb its funnny, i dunno why but yeahQuote:
Originally posted by buckner
English, please?
"Hey, all the blondes no(t?) including me try and act dumb that i know so i don't know that much bolondes anyways?"
Are you saying that you are a blonde yourself, and you think all of the blondes you know try and act dumb, except for yourself?
Okay, I'm a blonde, and I don't try and act dumb.
There, you know someone who proves your statement wrong.
hey great so i'm naturaly blonde so i'm not blonde. I like to call my blonde momments, i'm just not thinkingQuote:
Originally posted by Roxyluvsme13
Someone once told me that only the people who dye their hair blonde are dumb all the naturals arent....Which with all the natural blondes are smart. Brunettes have the same things as blondes, except we call them brunette moments :D I have lots of brunette moments....:rolleyes:
Personally I LOVE blonde jokes, and am one. Hair color has nothing to do with your IQ, although I can be kind of ditzy once and awhile, but cant we all? lol:D I'll share some jokes once I find them, I have tons because I love them!:D