I'm so upset right now...

For the last couple of months I've been talking with a rat breeder in Vancouver. Ashley and I are going to meet her this Sunday. The breeder offered to take me to the RatsPacNW rat show next Saturday. I talked to my mom about it and not once did she tell me I couldn't go. She never cares when I do this stuff. It's all I've been talking about for the past few weeks. I rarely talk to my mother but I can't seem to stop talking about the rat show. I'm just so excited to go.

Then my aunt called me the other day and I talked to her about it. She called me back today and told me that she thinks it's way too dangerous to go with someone I will have only met once. I completely understand -- she's just being protective. I told her that I will give her the lady's phone number, address, and let them meet in person so she can get to know her better. I explained that I know people that know her, and she is well-respected in the rat world. She says she doesn't want to let me go, and she asked if she sounded like my mother -- on the contrary, I told her, she sounded nothing like her. My mom was happy to get rid of me. She couldn't care less.

Now, all of a sudden after talking with my aunt, my mom is all angry that I "never told her about this." It's ALL I have talked about for the past few weeks. She never said ANYTHING about me not going. I never talk to her about anything, and yet I've gone on and on about this. It's something that's really important and exciting for me. :(

So now my aunt says she will think about letting me go, and my mom is just going to let my aunt make the decision, although she's made it clear that she suddenly has a problem with it. It would have been fine if she would have said no from the beginning. But when someone says I can go, and I get weeks of excitement and ambition, and that's suddenly taken away from me...well all I can do is cry because that's just not fair. That's just really sad for me.

And then she tells me "I just wish this never happened." And I asked what, and she said "the whole going to Vancouver for your pet thing, meeting people you don't know. That stupid Pet site. It's all stupid. I wish you would just forget about it." Thanks --- I'll be sure to tell Jynnelle, my BEST friend that I met on Pet Talk, that she is nothing more than just some stupid person that I met on some stupid site, and I can just forget about her, just like that. When I reminded her that I met Jynnelle here, I just couldn't take it and I started to cry. I never cry in front of people, especially her. But that was just harsh. Then she told me she's glad I'm graduating soon because then it will all be over and she can get away and never deal with me again. The feeling is incredibly mutual.

Sorry, I just needed to vent really bad. I'm so angry and sad right now, I can't stop shaking and my heart is just pounding. I'm on the verge of a panic attack. I still have some chance of going, but my aunt is really protective so I don't know what my chances are. :( I'm really hoping that the breeder will let Ashley come with. I know my aunt won't have as much of a problem with that. I hate how childish this sounds. :( Off to have a nice hot shower....

Bless your heart. I know you are disappointed, Jordan. :( Hopefully everyone will be calmer today and you will be able to go to the show.

Logan :)

I hope you can go to the show too. My parents were nervous when I left to meet Jessica for the first time, but after talking to Jess's mom, everything was fine. I met her online in '97 and we see each other at least once a year ever since.

*hugs*

why doesn't your Aunt go with you to the show? Sorry about your Moms actions though.

I'm sorry Jordan.. :( This may sound silly but I will be praying that this works out for you. {{hugs}}

Jordy, would it help if you told your Mom and Aunt that I would go with you next Saturday (the 26th, right)?? I love ratties.:) I'm busy this Sunday so can't go with you to meet the breeder. I'll call you today around 4:30 and we'll talk about it, OK?

Thanks Vickie, but the show is in Port Orchard. :( The breeder doesn't want to drive back at night so I am supposed to spend the night there. Call me anyways though lol.

Jods, my aunt is leaving town on the very day of the show. :(

Thanks everyone for your wishes that I can go. :) I really hope I can.

Spend the night with someone you don't know?!?! You have only been talking to her on the internet? No. I am sorry...you Aunt is right. You should not be going. This just sounds too fishy to me.

Also I agree...it is very disrespectful to call your parents a name like tards. While I can understand your frustration at something you were looking forward to being taken away that is just not right.

Denyce

I'm sorry.. I know I really shouldn't be typing (but I still sneak in to read). But I just don't understand. I've read this whole thread through three times and I can't see anywhere that Jordan called her mom any names at all :confused:. Did you really read it closely? I think she has a reason to be upset, and she never once said she is blaming her aunt for being cautious and protective.

Quote:

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Originally posted by Denyce
Spend the night with someone you don't know?!?! You have only been talking to her on the internet? No. I am sorry...you Aunt is right. You should not be going. This just sounds too fishy to me.

Also I agree...it is very disrespectful to call your parents a name like tards. While I can understand your frustration at something you were looking forward to being taken away that is just not right.

Denyce

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No, I told my mother I didn't have to spend the night at someone's house -- I can go to a Hotel. I never called my mom a tard. :confused:

I am sorry Jordan I must have had this thread confused with another thread and another person about the whole tard thing.

And yes..I do understand why you are upset and disappointed I would just hate to hear that something awful happened to some young lady in BC because of someone on the net...if you could get someone to go with you that you KNOW then it would be different. But I still don't think you should be spending the night even in a hotel with someone you haven't really met yet from the internet.

Denyce

Yes...I checked another thread and I had you confused with bckrazy and her grades. It is what happens when you are getting older and blonde...please accept my apology.

Jordan all I can say is Here (hug) I'm not sure how I feel about this. Maybe Slick could go that would be so much more fun. She is a blast.

That's alright Denyce, thanks. :)

I found out this morning why my mother doesn't want me to go. It's because she wants me to babysit the next day and if I stay the night then she has to find a babysitter. Atleast my aunt has a good reason for worrying. She told me that we'll talk about letting me go tonight.

I would not be angry if she had told me I couldn't go in the first place. But after all of this excitement, and suddenly there's a good chance I can't? I even got an offer from another rat breeder, saying I could stay at her house for the night, and my mom told me she would rather me stay with her than go to a hotel so that I won't bug her for money...But I will stay in a hotel for my aunt's sake. If my aunt let's me go.

After my mom talked to me a little bit this morning, I can see that she doesn't care if I go as long as she can find a babysitter. It's just my aunt that I have to worry about now. She thinks that the breeder is trying to steal me, and apparently everyone in the US has a gun so I might get shot. :rolleyes: Then she's worried that I might get into an accident and the hospitals in the US won't take me. I have Medical insurance. Do US hosptials take Canadian medical? Does anyone know how that works?

If you're to the point of having to worry about medical insurance, maybe you shouldn't go, Jordan. :( Sounds like you got cornered in this deal, for sure. Hang in there. I hope everything will work out alright for you.

There will be other times when you can attend a show, without the hassles of home, I'm sure.

I keep thinking that maybe it isn't worth it...I can go to the show in September. But it will be the exact same situation, except I'm going to be working full-time so it will be harder and alot less convenient. :( I'm just going to take it as it goes, I guess. If I can't go this month, oh well...atleast I'll get home sooner so I can see my babies. But it will be so dissapointing.

AWWW jordini.. hat sux that you wont be able to go the rat show... i hope you end up going.. poor baby..

I heart you!
dont forget it.. your mom is just a cow..

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Originally posted by wolfsoul
She thinks that the breeder is trying to steal me, and apparently everyone in the US has a gun so I might get shot. :rolleyes:

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I think that's so sad that some people think that way.

I hope you get to do whatever you truely want to do. I know how you feel with your mom, in a way. I sometimes feel my dad feels that way about me, too. He has even told me before that my brother is his "favorite." He just says hurtful things when we get mad at each other.
Anyways, good luck, and I hope you get to go!!

Quote:

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Originally posted by tikeyas_mom
dont forget it.. your mom is just a cow..

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LOL Jynnelle, you're awesome haha.

Quote:

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Originally posted by tikeyas_mom

dont forget it.. your mom is just a cow..

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And you are just "some stupid person I met on some stupid site." :rolleyes: LOL. I heart you too!

Yeah, you won't like this, BUT - I wouldn't let you go if you were my kid either. Too many freaks and weirdos in the world.

I'm 37 years old and when I first went to Austin my sister was FREAKED out that I was meeting "strangers" from the net. I reassured her that I really knew Aly pretty well, and she was eventually comfortable enough to settle down about it. She did have my cousin who lives in Austin check up on me twice a day though. :)

Honestly, you can't be too careful. Plus, you'd be in the US? No WAY would I let my kid go to another COUNTRY with a "stranger" she's been talking with for "the last couple of months". I wouldn't even go myself after knowing someone such a short amount of time.

Oh, Jordan, I know you're disappointed, but your aunt is just looking out for you. Perhaps she should go to some Pet Talk gathering some time ... WITH you. But you never can be certain about someone you have not yet met in person, and it is hard to remember that not everyone in the world is as nice as the people of Pet Talk. Sometimes I go read the news, and then have to come back to Pet Talk to reassure myself that there is GOOD news in the world, and there are good people. Your Aunt doesn't have that, so she hears more scary, bad stuff, I bet!

It's hard being a teenager, isn't it? One minute everyone seems to expect you to be an adult, and the next, a child. Don't worry, Jordan, it doesn't last forever.

I really hope things work out for you mate, and if Slick can help, well that would be great.

My advice could only really come from my own experiences, and that might not be the best given your own particular circumstances. Suffice to say it took many years to rebuild what relationship I had with my father. So whatever you do decide to do, make sure it's not out of spite, but from logic. To get that logic seek advice from people you know and respect.

I'm not going. :( My mother can't find a babysitter for my brother. Looks like I have to wait a whole six months for the next one. It's in Port Orchard as well. It sucks that they never have one in Kelowna.

Karen, I'd never bring my aunt to a PT meeting LOL. She'd cramp my style. ;)

Send her to Findlay - she'd be so outnumbered, she'd not have a chance at cramping your style! ;)

Jordan -

I'm fairly new to this board - but others here have known me for years from a Golden retreiver board I've been on with them.

People who are not familiar with bulliten boards, like this, really cannot understand how truly close we can get to some of our 'internet' friends. Sure there are a few nuts who can stalk someone on one of these boards - but to keep up a fake front for months on end - well, it would be more 'work' than most kooks want to do!

I'm a mom of a teen, and an avid 'pet' person. I have made alot of friends on the internet and met some really nice people in person - I have to say that I have never had any 'problems'. However, I am cautious - I've always had my own transportation, a working cell phone, left a detailed itinerary with family, and met people in a public place. Only once did I take a 'risk' and go off to meet a friend at their home, 5-6 hrs away - and still, I went prepared to leave and fend for myself, should things not work out.

Still, if my son, Jon, wanted to go off to Canada for a dog show with someone we have never met - you can bet that at a minimum, I would be going with him. And i would be prepped for any contingency.

Staying at a hotel alone, or at someones house that you don't know well - neither are a good choice. I'm not sure i would do either, myself - and I'm a 45 yr old adult! It's just not 'smart' to take risks like that. I'm with your aunt on this - I would be worried silly about you.

I think, in the end, it's probably a good idea to wait for the next show.

however, knowing what you NOW know are going to be the objections your family is going to come up with - see if you can prepare for them -

you can call the insurance company and ASK if your insurance, cell phone service, phone calling card, credit cards, or anything else you might need, works in the US.

Is there someone who can go with you in September that your aunt and mom trust? Is there anyone else you know going to this show? there's safety in numbers.

Is there a place or person you can stay with nearby, that THEY know? another relative nearby? do you have a school friend who has a relative in that town? maybe you can take your friend and stay with HER family.

Can your aunt or mom get to know your internet friends better so they will feel more secure about them? don't be so quick to think that your aunt might 'cramp your style' - If she cares about you, She's probably more considerate of your feelings than that - and I bet you would be surprised how 'cool' some adults can be!

I hope you DO get to go in September - I'm sure you are very dissapointed now - i would be, too!

but even though I don't know you - if you headed off with so many unknowns right now - I'd be worried about you, too!

Laura

(PS - not ALL of us crazy americans have guns - but you'd better look out for my killer, kissy golden retreiver! LOL! She just might bowl you over and lick you to death!)

Thanks for your nice reply, Laura. :) In September I probably won't even be living with my mom anymore, so luckily I don't have to worry about her being against me going anywhere. Even if I am still living with her, she told me today that as soon as I'm graduated she will respect whatever decision I make even if she doesn't agree with it (as long as it doesn't involve bringing more pets home --- That's one BIG downfall hehe).

You're so right, we can get so close to our friends on the internet. I think that the majority of people you talk to on the net are not psychos or creeps. I've met many of my best friends on the internet, and I'm really glad I took the time to meet them! Speaking of which, I'm off to Vancouver tomorrow for the PT meeting on Saturday. I'll be meeting three people I've never met before. :D

Jordan,

I'm sorry you're unable to go. I know that's really frustrating. Your mom could have handled the situation better, of course. ;)

I think that they do have your best interests in mind.

When you're on your own, which sounds like its soon, you can do whatever you want. That's the good part of being older and independent. :)

Hang in there. Its hard when parents are less than sensitive to your feelings.

September will be here before you know it.

Hugs,
Kelly :)

Oh, Jordan, I´m so sorry to hear that :(

((HUGS))