February 8, 2004

Dear friends,

My heavy heart is recalling this day, one year ago. I dreaded the return of this day on the calendar…however; I see that I am still here, so hopefully I will make it through.

I recall lying in my bed, praying that my Dad’s entrance into Heaven would be a smooth transition, with no fear, but peace and calm. I could not bring myself to stay in the room with him. I did not want to face the facts that my Dad was dying. At around 12:00 am the morning of February 8, 2004, I crawled into bed and shut my eyes tight…sending prayers. My door was cracked to listen for any movement in the other room. I must have dozed off, because at 12:55 am I heard a crash and was startled from my sleep. My sister had jumped off of the couch to my mom’s call, throwing the remote to the TV to the floor. He had just released his last breath in this world. As I recall, he had breathed in, then out, then about a minute later, one final breath out to expel the rest of his earthly being and transition into his final reward. He wasn’t awake for the last 36 hours of his life…never opened his eyes or really moved at all for that matter. I do remember the week before though, and how his eyes lit up as his sisters came from Pennsylvania to visit. He just wanted to go to the condo where they were staying and have pizza! We practically had to tie him to the bed!

My Dad was only with me for about 2 ½ months after the diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. This was such a short time…but dearly treasured. Unfortunately, this type of cancer is rarely detected at an early enough stage to do anything for the patient. Even if it is caught, the chances of it being in the part of the pancreas that can be removed is rare. When someone is fortunate enough to have both early detection and location in their favor, statistically, the likelihood that they will die from relapse within a few years is extremely high. This is such an awful type of cancer, as all are….I pray that continued research will soon be able to save the lives of the nearly 31,000 diagnosed each year.

Thank you for taking the time to read about this part of my life. I pray for each of you or your family member that may be faced with some sort of illness, whether cancer or even a cold. God Bless

Judy

Beautifully written. I lost my dad to renal cancer, so I know what you went through.

He was very lucky to have you. :)

Judy, I'm so sorry. :( It's so hard to lose a parent. I lost my father September 29, 2003 and my mother July 23, 1985, and miss them both, but I miss my father the most. I'm so sorry for your pain, but so happy that you had a great Dad to remember. There's no one in the world like a Daddy. :(

{{{{{Hugs}}}}}

Only a year, your wound is still fresh. May he rest in peace. The first year was the hardest for me after I lost mine. Hopefully it will get better for you now that this year has passed.

I am sorry for all of you that have lost your parents. I'm very fortunate to still have mine. I cannot imagine the pain you're going through and dread it when it's my time. Judy, I couldn't get myself to go visit my grandmother in the hospital. It would have killed me to see her that way. The night after she died, I dreamed she visited me and was wearing a brightly colored flowered dress. I told her that looked much better than a hospital gown. I hope you eventually find peace and at least your dad knew everyone was there for him before he left.

(((HUGS)))

What a sad day for you. Take pleasure in knowing he is now with you always... watching over your sholder and offering you divine protection.

SB: Big hugs to you on this sad occasion. I know what it's like to lose a Dad and I know what it's like to lose a close relative to cancer. My heart goes out to you, but take comfort in knowing that your Dad has never left you. He remains in your heart and you in his and I know that he watches over you ever minute of the day and night.

I heard Sylvia Browne speak on TV once about the deceased and she said that everytime we dream about them, that means they have come to visit us that night. I chose to believe that because I dream about my Dad all the time and it makes me feel that much closer to him. He passed on February 2, 1995 so February is not my favourite month either.

The first year is the hardest and from now on the healing can begin. Prayers going out to you and the rest of the family.

Our prayers are with you today.

I lost a beloved friend and mentor to pancreatic cancer. Not the same as a father, but I know how swift and deadly a disease it is. It is awful, and brutal.

Rest in peace, sir. You are well represented here on Earth through your children.


To anyone who smokes, by the way, stop now. That's what caused my friend's pancreatic cancer, and as was mentioned, it's not like lung cancer. It's hard to detect, and almost impossible to cure.

SB,
I know what's it like to lose a father. My father died when I was 20 from a massive heart attack. Just know it does get easier and you will cry less when you think of him, and smile more. I still have bouts of crying and it's been almost 5 years (March 4th). I think he is here with me and talk to him sometimes when I'm alone..it makes me feel better. **HUGS**

Sarah

Judy,
My heart will be with you today. You really are doing wonderful your father would be proud. :)
Jodie

A nice tribute for to your father.

My dad's passing was longer and more complicated by his age and his health.

Right after his death, the love of my life was diagnosed with PC.

She passed on March 19, 2002.

When things get tough, know that there are people that have walked before you, and people waiting to make that same trip.

You never walk alone.

I bet your father is very proud of what you wrote. He is looking down smiling at you. I am so sorry just be strong and know that hes looking down at you with a smile.

Judy, I'm so sorry to hear that.. {{{hugs}}}

My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family.:)

{{{hugs}}}

Thanks everyone. I left work early today and took Sahara to the beach for some reflection and prayer time...along with some photos. I really feel such a calming peace surrounding me today. I so dreaded even waking up on this day...but God is giving me abundant strength. You're prayers mean the world to me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for such kind words. Time eases the pain...today being the first down the road to "recovery".

I'm sorry about your dad. :( My aunt recently passed away of pancreatic cancer as well.

I agree with the others, what a beautiful tribute to your father. He indeed was a special man, evidence of that, is a daughter who is filled with love for him...your message was just overflowing with love...very touching. I am so sorry for loss, but thankful that you have had a calming day today. ((HUGS))

Judy,

What lovely words ......... and a lovely tribute to your Dad.

I am certain he is smiling down on you ........ and eating that pizza!!!

{{{hugs}}}
Michelle

Quote:

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Originally posted by captain
........ and eating that pizza!!!

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Now, that brought a huge smile to MY face. :D Thanks Michelle! Probably spaghetti too...he wanted that really bad a few days before he died.... Enjoy your feast Daddy! (and save some for me...one day...)

awww, Judy, that was, as PJ's mom said, beautifully written. I'm so sorry. :( You will be in my thoughts and prayers today, and here's hoping your dad is enjoying that pizza! ;)