What do you think about a 19 year old and a 25 year old dating? The 19 year old will be 20 shortly, if that makes a difference. :p I just want opinions.
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What do you think about a 19 year old and a 25 year old dating? The 19 year old will be 20 shortly, if that makes a difference. :p I just want opinions.
I don't think that's bad at all...
6 years is a very normal difference if you look at married people. Of course it will play a bigger role if one is 14 and the other 20.
I think it depends more on the situation than the actual ages. I've seen totally healthy relationships with this age difference, and I've also seen not-so-healthy ones.
Then again, unhealthy relationships exist in every striation you could come up with, so...
Who is this 25 y/o? (now that you've got our attention!:D )
Hehe, I knew someone would ask that! I'm the 25 year old. ;)
My husband is exactly 10 years and 5 days older than I am. :D
I am 42. my husband of 21 years is 60. we met when I was 18 and he was 36.
I am remarried now but my ex was 40 when we got married and I was 23...17 years difference...and that had nothing to do with our getting a divorce..we were married 16 years.
Thanks everyone. I feel much better now. I just really like this guy a lot. But the age thing made me uneasy because my roomates were teasing me about it. I guess it shouldn't matter what other people say right? :) You guys made me feel a lot better.
It depends so much more on the maturity of the people involved than chronological age! ;) My mom was 4 years older than my Dad, which was unheard of - the ages were "supposed" to be reversed, according to her friends at the time, but they were all just delighted she was getting married. She got married on her 29th birthday, so was practically an "old maid" by their estimations!
You know that in Japan a girl as old as that is called a Christmas Cake? Because the Cake is no longer fresh after the 25th.Quote:
Originally posted by Karen
She got married on her 29th birthday, so was practically an "old maid" by their estimations!
I always thought it very stupid to think like that. Of course there are marriages with very young people who work out well but in general if you marry too early it is more difficult.;)
I think it really depends on the people. My husband is 11 1/2 years older then me. He is 35 and I will 24 in May we have been married for almost 6 years.
Nothing to think about. That's not bad at all. Actually, I don't think it should matter at all. If people can be happy(as long as it's not breaking the law about it) I don't think it should matter. Happiness is happiness.
My dad was under 21 when he married my mom (she's a couple years older than him)
My ex-bf was 5 years younger than I.
Andy is 5 years older than me. (I'm 27 and he's 32)
I think it all depends on where the age difference is. :)
It depends on what you want. I am 26 and could NEVER be happy with a 20 year old. Why? Because they're at a very different place in life than I am. I want to come home from work and be with my husband. Not meet him at a bar/club and get drunk. I want to start a family in the next year or two, not yell at him for staying out until 2:30am for the 12th time in a row. I'm not saying every 19-20 year old's mindset is to get drunk, I'm just saying they aren't thinking like a 26 (or older) man would be. They're at the "I want to have fun" stage, having just been legally "liberated" from their parents.
To me, six years stops making such a different once the youngest person is in their later mid-20s like 26, 27. You've had your fun, you've had your "you" time and now you're ready to shape your future.
But that's just me. If you're not interested in settling down and this would make you happy, have your fun. I'm just telling you what would be going through my mind, that's all.
Good luck.
My hubby is 3 years older. My dad is 7 years older than mom Daughters hubby is 37 and daughter23. Its not a issue in our family.
My middle son's wife is eight years older than he is, my husband is 9 years older than I am younger son's wife six years younger, eldest sons wife, three months older.... age is not important. Maturity and shared values are far more important than age.
my fiances 32 years older than me. I've always dated older, I've always been more mature than people my age. I'm just not interested in the games and immaturity of people my age :o
I completely understand Samantha Puppy's POV...from the reverse. When my ex and I split up, I dated a guy who is nine years older than I am. He's a wonderful guy, and I love him dearly, but at this point in our lives our interests and goals are vastly too different. He has had his fun already, and I'm just starting to.
Cass,
Age is a state of mind. ;)
I'm 46 and my husband is 28, so you can guess what I think about age differences. LOL I'm all for it. :D
I had a lot of friends tell me when we where dating, that it would never work, cut it off before I get hurt, that's sick, etc etc. I almost let them convince me that they might have a point. Thank God I didn't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes you have to lead with your heart and not your mind, as long as no laws are not being broken. If your heart says yes to this, then ignore your friends, opinion and do what makes you happy. If they really are your friend they will want you to be happy, with who ever you find, 19 or not.
Just tell your roommate, it works for you and you'd like it if she accepted that and to drop the teasing.
She's just jealous any way. ;) :D lol
I am older than Alexa by 4 years, while it's not that much of a difference it did bother me at first. She was 19 and I was 23, I felt like we were in two very different places. She was just getting started with school and figuring out what she wanted and I'd already been on my own for several years. I felt like she hadn't experienced enough to be ready for a serious relationship. I'd already gotten out all of my partying and dating and was ready to find someone I could be with for a long time.
Now, I realize that I was wrong and that with the right person age doesn't matter.
Cass the years are not that much between you, but it really depends on how mature this guy is, to be honest most 19 year old males are not that mature, but there is always the exception to the rule.
Go with your feelings, some say there is nothing like having a toy boy in your life lol, you will know sooner or later if he is mature enough for you,somehow I rather doubt it though, but good luck anyhow.:)
See that's the thing. I DON'T want to settle down at all. I don't even want to think about marriage for a VERY long time LOL. I just want to have fun right now. And we have a lot of fun together. I guess I've always been attracted to the younger crowd because I've always energy on hand. I'm up all night hanging out with friends. I'm still very young. He actually doesn't drink much. He's in school and planning his future. ;) Yes it's true we are definitely in different places, but should I let that stop us? I don't think so. As far as maturity is concerned, I tend to act more like a 15 year old when around my friends. WHY? Because I have nothing holding me back. There's no reason to be mature when you're just having fun, and that's the mind set I want to keep for awhile longer. Of course, that doesn't mean I'm going to party everynight etc. Like I said, I just want to have fun.Quote:
Originally posted by Samantha Puppy
It depends on what you want. I am 26 and could NEVER be happy with a 20 year old. Why? Because they're at a very different place in life than I am. I want to come home from work and be with my husband. Not meet him at a bar/club and get drunk. I want to start a family in the next year or two, not yell at him for staying out until 2:30am for the 12th time in a row. I'm not saying every 19-20 year old's mindset is to get drunk, I'm just saying they aren't thinking like a 26 (or older) man would be. They're at the "I want to have fun" stage, having just been legally "liberated" from their parents.
To me, six years stops making such a different once the youngest person is in their later mid-20s like 26, 27. You've had your fun, you've had your "you" time and now you're ready to shape your future.
But that's just me. If you're not interested in settling down and this would make you happy, have your fun. I'm just telling you what would be going through my mind, that's all.
Good luck.
Plus all the guys I meet that are my age or above are just jerks. I couldnt even begin to explain to you...And this is exactly how I feel about older guys. Catherine said it perfectly! " He has had his fun already, and I'm just starting to"
Oh my. This made me laugh!
"Go with your feelings, some say there is nothing like having a toy boy in your life lol"
I guess I will just see how it goes. Yes, it may not work out, and actually we haven't really talked about it all that much. But it's obvious there is an attraction there. We've decided not to kiss anyone else (it sounds so silly) until we figure out what is going on between the two of us. We just don't want anyone to get hurt. If it doesn't work out, it was fun while it lasted! :p And I'm sure we'd remain friends. :)
I'll let you all know. hehe I am seeing him in a couple hours. :D
A few minutes can make a world of difference in any relationship.;)
I like my men young, my bf is five years younger than me. ;)
If that's your mind set right now then I don't see why age would matter at all. Just have fun and enjoy having him around.Quote:
I DON'T want to settle down at all. I don't even want to think about marriage for a VERY long time LOL. I just want to have fun right now.
I'm 32, hubby is 41. Hubby says HE's more vibrant then me, the young one! :D
Age doesn't neccesarily matter, its the maturity of the person. Out of my three kids, its the youngest, 15, who is the most mature, She is heads and shoulders above my 18 year old in maturity.
My husband is six years older than me. We met when I was 24. The age difference has never been an issue.
When I was 21, I dated a 45 year old. Even though things didn't work out, it was a fantastic relationship and we really do remain friends. The reasons we didn't work were not related to our age difference. He was a doll, is still one of the nicest men I've ever met. He taught me a great deal including some of what I wanted in a life partner. My husband is alot like him and me with the same love, gentleness and respect.
I don't want to be stereotypical, but in general, I think being that men are much less mature then women. A 19 year old man is much different then a 19 year old women. Being a mother, I wouldn't want to date a 19 year old because of that. I need a man that is mature enough to understand that I am a mother and settled enough to deal with a family if things happen to get serious.
Before Mike, I dated a few guys that were 19-20ish. It'd be fun at first, but it never seemed to work out in the long run. I love to party and have fun, but I still wasn't available at every beckoned call. -I couldn't just take off out of the blue for a weekend, or be out drinking everynight. Things took planning because I had to find childcare and stuff, I had responsibilities. I had difficulties dating until I started dating guys that were a little older and more mature. I still had my fun and partied a bit, but they were understanding that motherhood came first.
My opinion is different then everyone else's and it's not what you want to hear....Sorry...
Jason is a year younger than me, but acts 10 years younger than me. :o I think it depends upon the person and how mature they are...I think as long as you have lots in common, who cares about the age difference?
Yeah, it seems to me like a 35 year old female dating a 29 year old male would work out because by 29, he's experienced life. But 25 dating a 19 year old...he's just out of highschool, he isn't even legal drinking age yet...probably hasn't worked for a living for very long, still getting out of the highschool mentality, etc...Quote:
Originally posted by CalliesMom
Jason is a year younger than me, but acts 10 years younger than me. :o I think it depends upon the person and how mature they are...I think as long as you have lots in common, who cares about the age difference?
I think the early 20's is a big growing period for people. There is alot to go through and be learned during that time. But of course, there are exceptions. I've met 40 year old men that act like 15 year old idiots, and 19 year old men that are mature and stable.
I'm just talking about dating, not a long term relationship or anything serious. I don't want seriousness right now. I have other thing to think about. Like I previously mentioned, I just want to have FUN. And the thing is, EVERY single guy I've met that is my age or older is a complete ass or liar/immature. Most of my friends are young because they actually have something worth while to say, are mature enough to not get me kicked out of a Target etc. I love my younger friends, and I don't really feel my age. I've always felt and acted younger than I actually am.Quote:
Originally posted by Tonya
I don't want to be stereotypical, but in general, I think being that men are much less mature then women. A 19 year old man is much different then a 19 year old women. Being a mother, I wouldn't want to date a 19 year old because of that. I need a man that is mature enough to understand that I am a mother and settled enough to deal with a family if things happen to get serious.
Before Mike, I dated a few guys that were 19-20ish. It'd be fun at first, but it never seemed to work out in the long run. I love to party and have fun, but I still wasn't available at every beckoned call. -I couldn't just take off out of the blue for a weekend, or be out drinking everynight. Things took planning because I had to find childcare and stuff, I had responsibilities. I had difficulties dating until I started dating guys that were a little older and more mature. I still had my fun and partied a bit, but they were understanding that motherhood came first.
My opinion is different then everyone else's and it's not what you want to hear....Sorry...
I was with Dan (30 years old mind you!) for 4 years and it was complete hell. He was by far the most immature guy I've been with. He acted as if he was 4. I want to be with someone I can hang out with, have an intellectual conversation with, someone who listens etc. Most of the guys my age just want to drink constantly! It's all about the stupid Indigo bar. You can't escape it here.
Plus I'm not looking for a father for Dylan. He has one.
i dont see a problem with that at all... a good friend of mine just turned 18 and is dating a 26 year old, they have been together for a year!!!... i think depending on the two ppl and how mature they both are, then it is fine :). irather date an older man then a young boy though ... lol
Personally, I don't pay much attention to age difference- as long as it is reasonable. If a 13 year old was dating a 20 year old, I would not think that was acceptable. I pay more attention to everything but age- personality, sense of humor, intelligence, etc- things that count in a relationship.
I am more attracted to older guys because they are (generally) more mature, kinder, senseable, etc. You will never see me dating a guy from my high school or of high school age, because 99% of them are immature, rude, and only looking for one thing. Of course that is not true of ALL high school guys. My boyfriend is 18 (out of school), he will be 19 in May. When I look at him compared to the guys at my high school- wow, what a difference....
Yeah, I totally see what you are saying, and I understand the hell that you went through with Dan.Quote:
Originally posted by luckies4me
I'm just talking about dating, not a long term relationship or anything serious. I don't want seriousness right now. I have other thing to think about. Like I previously mentioned, I just want to have FUN. And the thing is, EVERY single guy I've met that is my age or older is a complete ass or liar/immature. Most of my friends are young because they actually have something worth while to say, are mature enough to not get me kicked out of a Target etc. I love my younger friends, and I don't really feel my age. I've always felt and acted younger than I actually am.
I was with Dan (30 years old mind you!) for 4 years and it was complete hell. He was by far the most immature guy I've been with. He acted as if he was 4. I want to be with someone I can hang out with, have an intellectual conversation with, someone who listens etc. Most of the guys my age just want to drink constantly! It's all about the stupid Indigo bar. You can't escape it here.
Plus I'm not looking for a father for Dylan. He has one.
I think I am speaking more from my own experiences. I've never been able to detach myself from a guy...just say "This is for fun." My problem is that everytime that I dated a guy just to have fun, I wound up getting serious. So then I'd be hopelessly in love with a loser. I eventually changed my outlook and started dating only "marriage potential" guys just in case. I figured that way if I happen to fall in love, at least they're someone that I can deal with long term.
Honestly, while I'm pretty sure this is not something you'd want to hear, it is something I really feel the need to say.
Cass...you're not just any 'free-of-responsibility' 25 year old. You're a 25 year old woman with a child. You are a mother. You have responsibility...and in all honesty, I believe you should take care of that responsibility above everything. Your innocent, young child, should come before everything at this point. Sure, if you're taking care of your child and doing all you can to be responsible for your child, go and have all the 'fun' you want. It just saddens me that we don't hear about him anymore, and I wonder how or where he is. I can't seem to comprehend how the mother of a toddler can have time for this sort of fun anyway. Dylan is your responsibility. You need to be there for him all the time. You're his mother. He's just a toddler, and at an age when children NEED their mother, more than anyone in the world. Toddlers need their mother...more than their father, more than their siblings, more than their grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. Moms come first to such young children, and when you're a mom, you should be responsible about everything in your child's life before thinking about getting involved in relationships JUST for fun and not out of sincerity for the long-run. If it was out of sincerity, I would take it differently...but when its JUST for fun and you have a child that should be your full-time responsibility right now,...well...that just makes me feel something. Just my honest opinion...and I hope you don't take this negatively. It is said only out of concern.
That being said, regarding the issue of age differences, I say it depends. If it were a 25 year old guy with a 19 year old girl, I wouldn't really have a problem with it. When its a 19 year old guy though...I can't see a 19 year old GUY being mature, sincere, respectful, etc. While there are exceptions, I know how guys my age are. They are JERKS....mostly, and usually do not respect women. They usually only want women for their own 'male desires' at that age. That is an age when the hormones of guys are gone crazy. 19 year old girls are more mature. Most 19 year old guys are still, just 'boys'...hormone-crazy boys at that. I would say you should be careful and mature in whatever step you take...while remembering that your child comes before everyone and everything. Age differences of 6 years are usually no big deal, but I personally prefer the girl to be younger (in a 19-25 year old relationship...I see it differently when both are older)...because guys mature later than girls.
I don't want it to seem like I'm attacking you, but PCB just said something that I have been thinking but haven't had the nerve to say. There are a few choices and decisions that I made when Jaden was younger that I truly regret. I am so glad that he was to young to remember and that I realized my responsibilies before it was to late. Cass, I'm saying this out of love not criticism. Be sure that Dylan is your #1 man. If you don't, you will regret it someday.
I completely agree with everything Pops said.
You obviously think I am pretty out of it to have posted this. OF COURSE my son comes first! He has me and his father. He has what he needs. I can have all the fun I want. I am going to do what *I* want to do. It's not like I'm going to be introducing him to Dylan. I am not. I don't introduce anyone to Dylan. I keep that out of our relationship. Age has nothing to do with that issue either. It wouldn't matter if the person I was dating is 29, 40 whatever. But right now in my life I DO NOT want anything serious. Yes, I just want to have fun and why the heck should I deny myself that kind of happiness? I don't want a relationship right now. Nor do I plan on having one for a long time. I don't NEED one, and frankly I don't see how this is any different than hanging out with any person who is a guy/friend.Quote:
Originally posted by popcornbird
Honestly, while I'm pretty sure this is not something you'd want to hear, it is something I really feel the need to say.
Cass...you're not just any 'free-of-responsibility' 25 year old. You're a 25 year old woman with a child. You are a mother. You have responsibility...and in all honesty, I believe you should take care of that responsibility above everything. Your innocent, young child, should come before everything at this point. Sure, if you're taking care of your child and doing all you can to be responsible for your child, go and have all the 'fun' you want. It just saddens me that we don't hear about him anymore, and I wonder how or where he is. I can't seem to comprehend how the mother of a toddler can have time for this sort of fun anyway. Dylan is your responsibility. You need to be there for him all the time. You're his mother. He's just a toddler, and at an age when children NEED their mother, more than anyone in the world. Toddlers need their mother...more than their father, more than their siblings, more than their grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. Moms come first to such young children, and when you're a mom, you should be responsible about everything in your child's life before thinking about getting involved in relationships JUST for fun and not out of sincerity for the long-run. If it was out of sincerity, I would take it differently...but when its JUST for fun and you have a child that should be your full-time responsibility right now,...well...that just makes me feel something. Just my honest opinion...and I hope you don't take this negatively. It is said only out of concern.
This isn't about my personal life. It's about a question I had regarding age differences, not my parenting choices. If you wish to talk about that you can PM me. Dylan doesn't live with me right now and that is good for him. He lives with his dad. It's more convenient for him. I am NOT taking him out of his house where he is comfortable. Maybe one day but at this time it's not what is best for him. He needs to be comfortable. And frankly I don't see how anyone who hasn't had a child and left an unstable relationship can have room to talk. You do not know what it is like to be a mother.
Just because I don't post about him anymore doesn't mean he isn't well cared for. I am a very busy person. I have a job, pets to care for, a child to raise. I can't sit here on Pet Talk all day with daily accounts of what goes on in my life. And if you payed attention to my threads you would see I have posted photos of Dylan not too long ago. I do not have my own computer and can only upload photos when I have the chance to use my roomates. Right now I am stuck on a very old computer in the living room lucky enough to be able to post here. I am sorry I do not update on my son, but I don't think I should have to.
Plus I'm very active in another online community now, and I usually update there. I am sharing custody. I do have time for a social life, and even if I had Dylan full time I would make sure I had a social life, because if anyone denyed themselfs that it would drive them crazy. I don't think going out a couple of times a week to see a movie, or hanging out with your best friend on the weekend means I am neglecting my child.