My Buddy Boy

My little sweet boy, Buddy is so sick. He is critical and dying. I am devestated beyond reason. I can't stop crying. I don't want to stop crying. I feel as though I am dying with him. Last July, 2003, I noticed that Buddy's breathing had become labored and he missed his mark when he tried to jump up on a stool. He fell back, looked up at me and cried. When I tried to helped him up to walk, he limped on his hind legs. I took him to the vet immediately. The vet took an x-ray and concluded that Buddy had cardiomyopathy and had probably suffered a thrombosis, a blood clot to a rear leg. She treated him for these conditions kept him over night in an oxygen cage and prescribed heart medications. When we took him home he became very lythargic. He wasn't responding well to the medication at all. I thought he was going to die on my lap. He couldn't be seen by my regular vet because she and her husband, also a vet went on vacation and wasn't coming back for at least a month. However, they did have fill in. She did her best but did Buddy no good. I just wished my regular vet had told me that they had an ultrasound machine. I would have done anything to help my sweet boy. I was put in touch with another vet who had an ultrsound machine. He did the ultrasound, took more x-rays an EKG, and tapped fluid from his chest, as plural effusion had developed. The studies were sent to a cardiologist. The diagnosis again was cardiomyopathy and they gave a very bleak prognosis. They didn't expect him to live for more than three months. He fooled everyone! Medication and six month checkups were prescribed. I was very diligent with his medication regimen. Not one dose was ever missed. That brings us to today. Tuesday, I noticed that Buddy was having difficulty breathing again. We took him to the vet immediately. X-rays were taken and he had to have fluid tapped from his chest again. The x-rays revealed that his heart had gotten much larger. We took him home but he seemed no better for the treatment. Back to the vet. An ultrasound was performed and Buddy was put in an oxygen cage. When the vet told me his findings, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He didn't have cardiomyopathy after all. He had been totally misdiagnosised. He in fact has a condition called chylothorax and it had progressed to the end stage. This is called fibrosing pleuritis. Once this developes, the cat has a guarded prognosis for a full recovery, regardless of the underlying cause. (If you don't know what this illness is, you can get information on the web, i.e. Pawprints and Purrs ). It would be to lengthy an explaination. I am so mad about this, I could spit nails. Had he been diagnosed properly at the onset, there was a chance of a good prognosis. Now all I can do is make him comfortable, cry and pray. As I watch his little chest struggle for air, I know it's only a matter of time before we go visit Dr. John again. I hate this thought and have always convinced myself that I would never do this to any of my pets. I was told if left up to nature it would be a very painful death (suffication). The idea of him dying peacefully in my arms is just an illusion. I can't bear to think of life without my little sweet boy. My heart is breaking. Buddy is almost thirteen years old. He was originally my older brothers baby. My brother passed away September, 1999 due to complications of diabetes at age 46. During his illness, he was very worried about the demise of his cats. I promised that I would see that his three cats got a good home. Well, they did. My sister took two and I took Buddy. My brother and I were extremely close. When he passed away, having Buddy helped me tremendously with my grieving process. Now I feel as though I'm losing a little piece of my brother. I feel so lonely and sad. Buddy has given me so much peace and joy. He doesn't have a mean bone in is body. All he knows is love. I'll miss hearing his little motor turn on just on eye contact and his little head butts of love. I'll miss him watching my every move and telling me when it's 8am and 8pm (medicine mixed with chicken liver time). I'll miss when I say come on boys, to take them out on their leash and only two show up. I'll miss when he follows me into the bathroom and plaintively asks to be brushed with the picky brush. I'll miss picking him up in front of the mirror and singing our little song," Who's that pretty little kitty in the mirror there)". I'll miss everything about him. I feel as though a very large part of me is dying with him. My heart is broken. I love you so much, my little sweet boy, Buddy.
Sorry for taking so much space. I had to get some relief somehow. Thanks

My heart goes out to you and I am deeply touched by the love you have for Buddy. This is such a difficult time for you and I wish that I could take it away.

Cry.......yes, cry until you can't cry anymore. I have been there and I know the depth of your pain.

I am glad that you came here to post..............you have come to the exact forum with members that fully understand the circumstances and will be here for you.

I am so very sorry!

MSB: Firstly, let me welcome you to Pet Talk. Our little community understands and pain from losing a pet and we rejoice when a new furbaby joins Pet Talk.

I so sorry your first post has to be so sad.

Quote:

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He in fact has a condition called chylothorax

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One of our beloved Pet Talkers, Nomilynn, had a beautiful tortie girl named Bassett. Bassett had the same condition and sadly has passed to the RB. Like you, she did all she could including sir jury. It sounds like you never had the chance to explore other options because of the misdiagnosis. For that, I'm truly sorry.

My name is Vickie but I prefer to be called Slick. As Gini says, we will always be here for you, 24/7. I'm just a PM away if you need to talk.

{{{HUGS}}}
slick

Hi Slick: Thank you so much for your kind concern. It's been pretty rough lately, mostly for Buddy. He just doesn't understand what's happening to him. He looks at me with such questioning eyes. All I can do is tell him what a joy he's been to me, what a great friend he's been and how very much I love him. I have had to reluctantly convince myself that I must do the right thing when the time is near. I never thought I could or would. But one very large thought comes to mind when I'm thinking only of my feelings.....Buddy has never made me suffer. God, I'm crying so hard, I have to go. Please pray for my Sweet Boy.

Linda

:( Oh Linda I am so sorry about your Buddy. It is so obvious how much he means to you and how much you love him. My name is Debbie and my five cats are in my signature below. I have been part of this community for about ..two years I think?? There are lots of dear and sweet people here. If you look in the Cat Memorial forum - you will see that one of our regular posters T&P's Mom just lost her Tubby on Saturday and many of us grieve with her. I have also lost two geriatrics in the past five years. The kitties I have now are a whole new family. I also had to make a decision to have one of my geriatrics PTS (put to sleep) before he began to suffer any worse from a very large tumor that invaded his chest. Our animals are our family, our babies....and you have come to the right place to find consolation and to share your love of Buddy. Perhaps you would like to share some pictures of him, or some stories... so that we can get to know him better? Most people post in Cat General, so maybe you would like to post there?? Just an idea.
((((HUGS))))

Hi Sirrahbed: Thank you for your kindness. I stumbled across this site quite by accident while surfing the web looking and hoping for better answers about chylothorax. I'm glad I found it. I've been a mess and needed an outlet.....some place to scream. You guys have been a wonderful support network and I am extremely grateful and touched by all of the concern and kind, loving posts that I have received. As far as submitting pictures of Buddy, I would very much like to do that. I've tried to add his picture to my signature today but don't know if I did it right. I'm not very familiar with how all of the features work. You see, I'm mostly a web surfer and haven't really gotten involved with forums. And with all that's been going on with Buddy, I can't seem to concentrate. I need help!! Buddy is about the same today. He doesn't seem to be in any extreme pain althought I know he's in discomfort. He mostly lays on the kitchen table. He gets a birds eye view from there. He eats very little but enjoys it when he does. He won't eat his regular cat food anymore so I've been feeding him what he loves.......people crab meat and (homemade chicken liver patte.... something I came up with to give him his medications). I figure at this point in his life, I'll break the rules and give him what he enjoys the most. I have two other cats, Nena and Oliver and a minipin, Mike. It has just been amazing to me how accommodating they all have been. They all have given up there regular nighttime beds to be close to Buddy. Nena and Mike always sleep with mom and Oliver always sleeps with me. For the last several days and nights, they have all been sticking close to Buddy, especially Oliver. Many, many times a day, he'll sit or lay next to Buddy and sniff around his face. Nena did the cutest thing, yesterday. Buddy came out to the living room to go (I set up a new litter box so he wouldn't have to walk so far) and sat in front of Nena when he was done. She sat straight up and gently put a paw on either side of his face. She held this pose for about 20 seconds (of course not long enough for me to get a picture). No one could ever convince me otherwise that animals don't have feelings and true love and affection for one another. My gang knows Buddy is ill and it's like they're holding a ritual. It's breaking my heart but it's also nice to see them give him attention and comfort. Please pray for my sweet boy.

Oh, I'm so sorry about you and Buddy! This is a sad way to introduce yourself to PT, but welcome anyway. You'll have plenty of cyber shoulders and {{{hugz}}}.

Alice, aka Smokey the Elder

Dear God,
You have said that not even a sparrow falls without You knowing about it so I know that You know all about Buddy, too. Please, God, I am asking you to watch over him and over Linda who loves him so very much. Please protect him from suffering with his illness and please God, make the time he has left happy and comfortable. Thank you for bringing Linda to a place where she can talk to other people who love animals and where she can pour out some of the pain. Let her know that You hear her too, Ok? Thank you for letting her see that many of your creations can show love and understanding to each other. How amazing! Thank you God, for listening.
Since this is my prayer, I will close my part in Jesus' name.
Amen.

Sirrahbed,
Thank you so much for such a beautiful prayer. It really touched my heart and through Him, Buddy's too. God bless you for your kindness and concern.

Hi Linda,

Yes, my Bassett had chylothorax. In a way I'm not suprised that your cat was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy, because it is a very common underlying cause for Chylothorax. It could even be that he DID have a mild case of it, but the chylothorax wasn't caught.

The sad thing is when no underlying condition can be found, there is no real cure. I decided to do surgery for Bassett but then she was only 4yrs old. I know she always felt a lot better after having fluid removed - are you having this done regularly? It's expensive, but it might help releive some of his discomfort.

If you have any other questions let me know and I will try to answer them

Naomi

Hi Linda, I'm so sorry to hear about Buddy.:( You've come to the right place to tell us about him and to vent your frustrations. Just remember that we're all here for you and many of us have experienced great losses in the past. I wish I could say something to help you but I don't know much about this terrible illness. Please take care and welcome to Pet Talk. {{{HUGS}}}

Hi KAK,

Thank you for your kind words and encouragement.

Linda,

Very sorry to hear about Buddy. My heart goes out to you. I have 3 cats myself. I just had a scare with one -- but it was OK. Hang in there !!!

Scott

Hi Scott,

Thank you for your kind concern for my Buddy. As far as hanging in there, I think he's doing better than me. He just amazes me. I do believe the prayers are being answered. I am so glad I stumbled across this forum. It gives me comfort during this trying and scary time. Everyone has been so sweet. God bless All of you.

I read about your little Spider. I am soooooo glad he is OK. Yes, Virginia there is a Christmas!!

It's been 5 days. Is Buddy still OK?

Hi Slick,

Thanks for your kind concern. Buddy has had a couple of bad days. He wasn't much interested in eating but still drinking well. I've been giving him a daily suppliment of Nutra-Cal since Friday. He seems to be feeling a little better today and his appetite has picked up a bit. This little cat has such a strong will. Although I'm aware that cats are great at hiding their pain, I really don't believe he's in any great deal of pain, yet. However, I do know that he's having discomfort. He's not real strong but he's still using the litter box, walks to the main water dish (even though I put a special one by his bed) and comes to visit when we're in the kitchen. He's still comfortable around the rest of the gang and hasn't made any attempts to hide. He wants to be with us and watches my every move. My other tommy, Oliver has been staying very close to Buddy. Yesterday, he started meowing loudly and pacing from room to room. I didn't know what was wrong with him. Then mom said, I think he's looking for Buddy. He hadn't seen me help Buddy onto the kitchen table, to look out the window. When I showed Oliver where he was, he calmed down instantly and sat with him. Oliver has been a good and faithful companion to Buddy. Today I went out and bought Buddy's favorite......steamed fresh shrimp. As mom and I were peeling, we were all eating. It's times like this that I will cherish forever. I let him have whatever he wants now. He deserves it. Again, thanks for thinking about us. It really means a lot.

Merry Christmas!!

Linda

Dear Linda,
Thank you so much for replying to my post. Currently Bandit is only on Rutin at 500mg x 3/dy and her chest taps are four days apart averaging the removal of 135cc's each time. This condition seems to be quite rare and I have reached out cross continent looking for answers, treatments or help in any form but have really come up with everyone telling me she will not survive this. However I have made friends with another chylothorax kitty who has actually survived this and it is her that has kept me going with hope. Lately that hope has been dwindling and it breaks my heart every time I look at my little girl who seems so healthy and happy in every other respect. We have not explored other medicines and you can be sure that I will be on the phone first thing in the morning to my vet. With the taps happening to frequently I have been feeling certain that the end was coming soon, regardless of the fact she doesnt' seem to be minding them whatsoever. The hardest part is the fact that I am running out of funds to keep this up, but I am continuing to keep going and trying regardless. I have an amazing vet, who although has little experience with this condition, comes to my home to tap Bandit. Even on days when I am forced to work she has a key and comes on her own with an assisstant. Bandit was originally a rescue kitten that I fostered from about 4 weeks and my vet has been there every step of the way. She to does not want to give up hope and both of us have shared tears over the matter. If there is any way to slow down the fluid I will be forever grateful as now the main fear is the onset of fibrosing pleuritis. I know the chyle fluid is very aggrevating to the chest and lungs and scar tissue has begun to build. Suprisingly enough though it is still somewhat less than we had expected. My hope would be that if we could slow down the fluid than maybe it might give her body more time to possbily heal. And if not, than at least she will be more comfortable and I will have gained valuable time spent with her. Thank you ever so much again...I promise to keep you posted on what my vet says and know that my prayers are with both you and Buddy. I truly understand how heart wrenching this ordeal is and I would not wish it upon anyone. I am here if at any time you should ever need someone to talk to, vent with, cry with or simply listen.

With thoughts and prayers,
~Amanda

Hi Amanda,

I'm glad that I could be of some support to you. I know that this is a very scary and difficult disease to deal with.....especially for the poor cat. I didn't mean to sound so doom and gloom but facts are stuborn things. Like I tried to explain to you, unless an underlying condition to this disease can be identified, your kind of stuck and so is the vet. All you can do, is what you're doing. I truely hope your vet can find the culprit. Has Bandit been checked for cardiomyopathy, a heart tumor or any other heart disease? These are some underlying diseases that may overshadow those of pleural effusion. Cardiomyopathy is not as common in female cats but not unheard of. It can be easily detected with ultra sound. It's just a shot in the dark but worth investigating. You are very lucky that Bandit doesn't have fibrosing pleuritis. My poor sweet boy, Buddy does, in addition to two large cysts and scarring on his heart. I will definately pray that the underlying cause with Bandit can be caught in time and is curable. Amanda, you can post me any time. As I said, I do know what you're going through. You will be of great support to me also. I've included a web site that will explain in more detail about chylothorax. I'm sorry that I don't know how to include it so you can just click. Take care and give Bandit a kiss on her little cold wet nose for me. :-)

Linda

www.sniksnak.com/cathealth/chylothorax.html

I'm so sorry to hear about Buddy.

My baby had the same diagnosis 2 years ago and died on Christmas eve. Even to this day I can think about it and cry.
By the time my vet caught it, he was too far advanced to be treated successfully, so I understand how that feels (I switched vets)

Buddy is a beautiful boy and has that sweet face of a very special kitty.
I pray that you get some good news.

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your little baby. It must be very sad for you. Thank you for your kind words of concern. Every little bit helps me cope a little easier.
Chylothorax is a very sneaky disease....and with cats being the great pain hiders that they are, a lot of times it's progressed to far to do anything about. Then, all you can do is try to make them comfortable, worry, cry, and hope someone will just listen. Thanks for listening. Take care.

Linda