Kids.....

KIDS.....

1. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old
slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard
the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.
At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room,
putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she
heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

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2. A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like:
"We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it
hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild
raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in.
At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

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3. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know
how you and God are alike?"! I mentally polished my halo while I asked,
"No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.

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4. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father's word
processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he
asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

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5. A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were
ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her
what it was. Susie raised her! hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall
not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife,"

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6. Our five-year-old son Mark couldn't wait to tell his father about the
movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." The
scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide- eyed.
In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused
the submarine to sink?" With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, it
was the 20,000 leaks!"

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7. When my grandson, Billy, and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the
lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy
whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with
flashlights."

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8. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not
sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandma! ," he advised. "Mine says I'm
four."

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9. Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small
boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took
the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she
asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a
child."

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:D Good ones Willie! Ya can't beat kid humor :D
Here are some that I like:

Kids' Letters to God:

Dear GOD,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones,
why don't You just keep the ones You have? - Jane

Dear GOD,
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if
they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. - Larry

Dear GOD,
If You watch me in church on Sunday, I'll show You
my new shoes. - Mickey

Dear GOD,
I bet it is very hard for You to love all of
everybody in the whole world. There are
only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. - Nan

Dear GOD,
In school they told us what You do. Who does it
when You are on vacation? - Jane

Dear GOD,
I read the Bible. What does "begat" mean? Nobody
will tell me. Love, Alison

Dear GOD,
Are You really invisible or is it just a trick? - Lucy

Dear GOD,
Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his
bowling words in the house? - Anita

Dear GOD,
Did You mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an
accident? - Norma

Dear GOD,
Who draws the lines around the countries? - Nan

Dear GOD,
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in
church. Is that okay? - Neil

Dear GOD,
What does it mean You are a Jealous God?
I thought You had everything. - Jane

Dear GOD,
Did You really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"?
Because if You did, then I'm going to fix my brother. - Darla

Dear GOD,
Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was
a puppy. - Joyce

Dear GOD,
It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad!
He said some things about You that people are not
supposed to say, but I hope You will not hurt him anyway. Your
friend, (But I am not going to tell You who I am)

Dear GOD,
Why is Sunday school on Sunday? I thought it was supposed
to be our day of rest. - Tom L.

Dear GOD,
Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before.
You can look it up. - Bruce

Dear GOD,
If we come back as something else, please don't
let me be Mary Horton - because I hate her. - Denise

Dear GOD,
If you give me a genie like Aladdin, I will give You anything
You want, except my money or my chess set. - Raphael

Dear GOD,
I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big but not with
so much hair all over. - Sam

Dear GOD,
You don't have to worry about me. I always look
both ways. - Dean

Dear GOD,
I think the stapler is one of your greatest
inventions. - Ruth M.
Dear GOD,
I think about You sometimes even when I'm not praying - Elliott

Dear GOD,
Of all the people who work for You I like Noah and
David the best. - Rob

Dear GOD,
My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound
right. They're just kidding, aren't they? - Marsha

Dear GOD,
I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the Bible. - Love, Chris

Dear GOD,
We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school
they said You did it So I bet he stole your idea. - Sincerely, Donna

Dear GOD,
The bad people laughed at Noah - "You made an ark on dry
land, you fool." But he was smart, he stuck with You.
That's what I would do. - Eddie

Dear GOD,
I do not think anybody could be a better GOD. Well, I just
want You to know but I am not just saying that
because You are GOD already. - Charles

Dear GOD,
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset
You made on Tuesday. That was cool. - Eugene

A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On
returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother there were two boy
kittens and two girl kittens. "How did you know?" his mother asked.
"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's

printed on the bottom."

*****
Another three-year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed
the left was on the right foot. She said, "Son, your shoes are on the
wrong feet." He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't
kid
me, Mom. I KNOW they're my feet."

*****
On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone
has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from
the
back of the room asked, "How will that help?"

*****
A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began
putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers
and spread them all over the table. "What are you doing?" his mother
asked. "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy

explained. "I'm looking for the seal."

*****
Can people predict the future with cards? My mother can. Really? Yes,
she takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when

my father gets home.

*****
A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man
named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his

wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened

to the flea?"

*****
A four-year-old girl was learning to say the Lord's Prayer. She was
reciting it all by herself without help from her mother. She said, "And

lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail. AMEN."

Great Truths About Life That Little Children Have Learned

* No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

* When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.

* If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second
person.

* Never ask your 3-year-old brother to hold a tomato.

* You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

* Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.

* Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

* Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.

* Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.

* School lunches stick to the wall.

* Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. No matter how cute the
underwear is.

OMG, Debbie, those are so funny! I just love these little dittys about kids. They can say some of the cutest things. My grandchildren are like that, always saying something to either make you laugh or make you feel like pounding your head against the wall!

Kids, I love them!!

Willie:D

Haha... yes, I know you love me Willie! :D...

I love kids! :)

Quote:

---

On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone
has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from
the
back of the room asked, "How will that help?"

---

LOL this one has to be the funniest!

Yes, Megan, I do love you. I just have a weakness for kids of any age. They are all so precious to me!

Willie:)

Those are just too funny! :D Thanks for sharing you two!

Thanks Willie and Debbie - a good laugh to start the day - great:D :D

Lynne

LOL! Thanks for starting my day off with a smile! I'll have to remember some of those to tell my friend tonight.


And I sure hope that God can lead me from Temptation and deliver me some e-mail!!!!:D

:D I Loved all of them! a lot of them got me to remember my daughter when she was a little girl! She always said amusing things! I would raise an eyebrow or fall on the floor laughing!

She always had something sweet and cute to say! She still does that.:D

those are funny!!!

i liked this one!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man
named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his

wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened

to the flea?"

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my sister told me this one...

my niece just graduated from kindergarten... but one day my sister said Christine had gotten in trouble for talking in class that day. And my sister said she asked her what was she thinking.... and my niece told her "i guess i just lost my mind"..

i thought it was soooo cute! ... :D

Thanks for the giggles Willie and Deb.

Too cute!

Robin :)

Lol! :D

this was the part of teaching young children i liked the best!! so precious to hear their thoughts!!!

Lillycat, you sound like a teacher. Thats what I love about children. You never know what they are going to say! I wasn't a teacher, but I did do alot of work at the school with all ages of children, from the youngest to the oldest. I loved it.

Funny how the little ones are, on the playground, they would be playing and suddenly one would accidently kick one or something like that, here they would come, to tell on the other. I would say, "did he/she mean to do this, did they do it on purpose?", and they would say, sniffling, Noooo, it just seems like they have the most forgiving sweet little souls ever.

Again, I love kids! Doesn't matter what age, they are all so precious to me.

Willie:)