Silly things kids say...

I thought it'd be funny if we had a thread where we could share stories about funny things kids say. Not necessarily funny if an adult has said it, but just amusing that such a young child would.
I thought i'd post in in the Dog house, because sometimes these same stories can be a bit disturbing :o It doesn't have to be your child, just a young child, relative or anything.


I'll start off-

This may be a bit sickening..
My cousin Lucas is full of these stories. They live in Michigan, his parents are divorced. My aunt(my mother's suster) came down here to visit for a while a bit back. Lucas is around 6 or so, maybe younger at the time. Well, we all went out to dinner, a bunch of our family. My aunt, cousin, and I all had to use the restroom. Lucas and my aunt went in one stall, and I went in the other. All of the sudden, I hear "Mom, why is my poop green?"... Before she could answer, in a VERY serious tone of voice, he goes " Probably because it's my favorite color."

:eek: :eek: :o :eek:

Share some of your stories now!

My mom was giving her one of her daycare kids bath. S/he was probably about 4. S/he was playing in the water, when S/he suddenly passed gas. S/he SHRIEKED for my mom, and she came running into the bathroom. The poor kid was white with fear.

"Mabel.." s/he says, in a shaking voice, "There are noises in my bum!" S/he was almost in tears so mom didn't want to laugh, but she said it was SOOOOO funny!!!

(Note - I can't remember which kid did this, hence the "s/he" :p )

My daughter has done the "two house" thing for a long time. She was two when her dad and I divorced.

One night he called me, very upset. Helen was probably 3-4 years old at the time. He said that their cat, "Pookie" had scratched Helen and right as it happened, Helen said "that little *itch". He demanded to know where she had learned that word!!! She had NEVER heard it from me, for sure. We later learned that a bad little girl at school said it sometime and that's where she learned it!!!! :eek:

My friends little 3 year old boy, Isaiah, is sooo cute. If someone kisses him on the cheek he says "I'm not wiping it off, I'm ruuuuubbbbin' it innn". It's so cute, you just can't grasp it written down, I wish you could all hear it.

My other friends 2 year old- if you ask her "are you a princess?" she replies "I not a princess, I'm Alli"

I know there are more cute things, but I can't think of them right now.

One day my niece calls, She mad at her dad, she says he stretched her pants and now they don't fit any more. When I asked her how he did that, she says " He put them in the washer and turned it on LARGE and now they are to big." :D

Neither if these are so much silly, but surprising things from kids..

We take the dogs to the library on Thrisday nights for a reading program with children. A few weeks ago, a young girl (about 7 or 8) was reading to Sadie and Ralph. She was reading a story about Hero dogs and one that served in WWII and died in 1945. She looks up at Ralph and says, "At least he lived to see the end of the war" :eek: (Nowhere in the book did it say what year the war ended!)

Another little girl ( about 4) was visiting with Cincy last week and was asking why she had those bumps on her belly (pimples from allergies) I told her it was allergies and she didn't understand, so I tried alittle to explain. Last night, she comes in, walks up to me and says I still don't understand allergies. I thinkshe spent all week thinking about it!!!

Me and my Cousin and my aunt went to this Open house for my cousin D.J's new teacher.. Mind you, he was only in kindergarten, and and he had never seen a black person because he came from the UAI, So the teacher ended up being african-american, and when the Dj, walked into the class and saw the teacher he said "Mommy, why is she that color? It must have took alot of crayon for someone to color her that black"

I wanted to fall and die! :o SOOO embarrassing.. lol

The same cousin, while visiting down here, he was scuffing his feet along our wooden deck.

He of course got splinters in his feet, which we had to try and get out.

During the process of us holding him down, and him crying - he screams out " Ohhhhh $h!!!!!!!!T" over and over. We tried to refrain from laughing. :eek: :o :eek:

These are so funny! I love all of these stories! I just LOOOOVE little kids! They are so much fun! I'll try to think of a story! I have sooooooo many cousins!:) :D

I told my mom about this thread and she told me a story about me when I was about 6....

I was in the department store with my Aunt Janet. I apparently was being a brat (me???) and Aunt Janet was telling me to behave, which made me start yelling at her. She told me that if I didn't stop that she'd smack my behind... I told her, "go ahead, I'll just scream louder." (ohhh, I'd have walloped me good for that one:D ) My Aunt never expected that comeback and stood there stunned for a minute before she said, "Why are you screaming? Its making everyone look at you and think you're a bad kid." And my reply? "Its my pergatory" I'm sure I meant Perrogative... but mean old Sister Mary Rita's teachings must have confused my young brain of big long P-words.

ok i was about 7 or 8 when i said this,

A friend of my mom's was coming in to town and they went out to lunch at this cafe but my mom didn't want to leave me and my borther and sister at home alone, so she took us with her and let us play in the park next the the cafe whie they sat outside and talked and ate. well i found this stray tabby cat and her three kittens and she looked hungry so i went and asked my mom if i could have some money to go buy them some kitty food. but money was kinda tight back then adn she said no, the cat will be fine that loads of people feed them. but i kept asking and asking and finally i said (really loudly) "AWW come on! you know what it's like to be a single mother and not ave enough money to feed your three kids!" my poor mom turned bright red adn so did her friend,he just kinda looked away and pretended not to have heard. and my mom was like "now you know that's not true, don't you get enough to eat?" then she gave me the money to get the kitty food. but i still feel bad about that. it must have urt her feelings. :( :o

He!He!He! All those stories made me laugh. My mom tells this story about me when I was a little girl.

As my mother, aunt, and I were parking the car outside the grocery store, mom saw this lady and said: That's the ugliest woman I have ever seen!! So, while we are in the grocery store shopping, we walk by the same lady and I say: Hi ugliest lady my mom has ever seen!! You can imagine how embarrased my mom must have been! Not sure how she got out of that one!! :D

My little grandson, Christian, is two and his mom posts here as Christiansmommy. The other day she had Dale, their Greater Swiss Mountain Dog, in the kitchen behind the baby gate because she was cleaning furiously as they are in the process of selling their house and Dale was underfoot. In the middle of her cleaning she glanced in the kitchen and said "Are you being a good boy Dale?" Christian looked up from what he was doing and said "Mommy, Dale can't talk. Dale barks!" LOL! Then he said "call Nannie" because she had started laughing and he knows when he says something that makes her laugh she calls me and repeats it! :)

My daughter was six years old at the time. We were all sitting around the table eating supper. She asked me what happens if you have sex before you get married. Needless to say Roger and I were very stunned at this question but we didn't want to make a big deal out of it. God only knows what she thinks sex is. My response was, well, you're committing a sin. Roger said, you'll go to hell. (Not that I agree with that statement.) My little girl said, well, I"m going to hell then. :eek: So I asked her why she thinks she's going to hell. She said "Because I love Jacob and we're not married yet." I said, oh, honey, love and sex are two different things. You're not going to go to hell. She said, oh, okay. Thank God she didn't ask me what sex was.

Here is a favourite story about me my auntie Lori tells :)

I was about 2 or 3 I think. I was sitting in the kitchen doorway playing, and my mom was cooking dinner. She was opening a can of mushrooms and dropped them all over the floor, making a huge mess. She shouted, "Sh*t!" cleaned it up, opened more and proceded to make dinner.

When dinner was served my aunt, who lived with us, my dad and mom and I all sat down. I saw the mushrooms on the table and said, "May I have some sh*t please?" Auntie Lori started laughing and my dad blamed HER for the language, and my mom had to sheepishly admit that it was her!!! :D

L:DL These stories are too funny!

My cousin is three years old, and he is at the age where he starts picking his nose. Well, one day, he picked his nose so much that it started to bleed. Then is said, "Naughty finger, no pickin' my nose!"

ALSO:

He couldn't say "Otis". Whenever he saw a Pug, he woiuld say, "Todis, Todis!" Well, I went over to his house last weekend, and he was saying "Otis". Then we told him that we didn't know a dog named 'Otis', only a dog named 'Todis'. Guess what he calls him now?;)

LOL THOSE ARE FUNNY!

I have 2 funny ones about my sister (green_chameleon_girl)


When Heather and I were little my mom and dad took us to a mall. We were around 3 at the time. As we were in the store Heather was crying and whineing. My dad told her to stop. So she had a little fit in the store. She was lieing on the ground crying when all the sudden she looks up at this lady walking by with a little baby in her arms... and heather screams "HEY LADY THATS MY BABY" My parents burst out laughing lol!

And on the same day at the mall Heather was really grumpy... this lady comes up to us and she says we are beautiful little babies and we are cute and heather says to her "HEY LADY WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!!!" lol!!!!


Also when I was in Toronto last week...my little 4 year old cousin has quite the "potty mouth" and he was trying to play "Truth or Dare" with my older cousin Scott. All of a sudden Jack says to Scott... "hey Scott I dare you to touch Mojo's(dog) penis!" it was so funny lol!

We dont know how Jack learned to say @$$hole.. but he did. One day my cousins were play fighting in the basement and Jack fell on the floor and he screams "SCOTT YOUR SUCH AN @$$HOLE" and of course my aunt came in the basement and asked Jack what he said and he replies "oh its okay mommy ... i said little rascal" and then he smiles LOL!

Quote:

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Originally posted by Tweety_Pie
Jack fell on the floor and he screams "SCOTT YOUR SUCH AN @$$HOLE" and of course my aunt came in the basement and asked Jack what he said and he replies "oh its okay mommy ... i said little rascal" and then he smiles LOL!

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lol! Omg he's smart! hahah:p

My friend and her husband were having a house built. They went, with their 3 year old son, to talk to the builder about things. Brad, the 3yr. old peed his pants while they were there. His underwear and pants were soaked. They took off his underwear and pants and let him go naked. A few minutes later they looked over and Brad was sitting on the floor "playing with himself". They made him sit next to them and told him not to do that, but minutes later he was back at it. The builder had a daughter the same age and lived a minute away so he went home and got Brad a pair of her panties. How embarrassing.


Years ago I was at a hardware store with my dad. We saw a little boy tell him mom he had to go potty, she told him "just a minute". Well apparently he couldn't wait for his mom because he went potty in one of the display toilets in the middle of the store.

i have another funny one about my cousin Jack.
Jack cant pronounce "L" words.... so if he says "little" its sounds like "wittle" anwho....
We were eating dinner and my uncle licked his knife and Jack says "HEY DADDY...DONT WICK A KNIFE!" lol!:D

My brother-in-law has his own business, and employs 2 Dave's ....... and took to identifying them as "Dave" and "Dopey Dave" (he is abit laid back ........)

ANYWAY, when his wife asked which Dave was popping in that afternoon, he answered "Dopey Dave".

So of course, that afternoon, in he walked and her youngest yelled down the stairs "Oh Hi, Dopey Dave" .......... :eek:
He didn't hear her (Thank doG!!!)!!!

My brother-in-law (John) and his family were coming home from Texas to visit one year. John was driving up the road to home reminiscing and saying, there's where I did this and there's where I did that. And my nephew who was about 3 or 4 at the time said, "Is that when the world was black and white." (Because all the old shows are in black and white.)