:( Ughhhhh...having trouble

I am VERY sorry, this is going to be very LONG, but I am really worried about being a bad furmom :( :( :( or not raising/bringing up Jasper the way I would like to. So please read it, and give suggestions, advice, tips..anything at all!

I am having alot of trouble "controlling" Jasper, I guess you could call it, it gets really stressfull! like he will not sit or lay down, if he doesnt feel like it, he wont listen at all if he is distracted, or even look!

It's gotten to the point, where I hide-out, I guess....sort of, somedays just stay in my room for hours, basically putting my responsibility on my parents :( and also, Jasper is becomming more dependant on my mom, and wanting to be with her most of the time..sometimes :( which is getting really hard for me, because he's suposed to be mine, but I find it very stressfull.

Im not sure, if maybe we should do the puppy class thing? Im thinking I would want to spend more time with Jasper if we had a dog park, or some kind of activity, because hes a very, very bored puppy, Piddle or Wiggles will not play with him, hes getting too big and rough for them, and he has nobody to play with.

And I was thinking of how, when he was up with the breeder, he had a female bullmastiff that would ALWAYS follow him around and play with him and watch him, and then he came here, where no dogs that lived here liked him after comming from a place with 2 bulldogs, some borde aux...???, alot of boxers, and some bullmastiffs, to having no dogs to play with.

And this way he is also not getting socialized because he hurts people, when they come in, so I usually hold him on because they yell at him or push him away, because he jumps on them. And with Children he also jumps on them, but is ok after a while, just my parents dont understand anything, how much he needs to be okay around people and visitors and how we cannot put him into a room or hold onto him EVERYTIME we have company or people around!

And hes not getting socialized with dogs because theres no dogs, really for him to play with, besides my cousins pitbulls, who Im not sure about because the first time he played with them, they were fine, but the second they started groweling. And most other people I know have small dogs, and my cousin has a collie mix who is too saucy, I would never trust around Jasper.

I am very worried, and stressed, about everything :( :( :( about his food, his training, his socialization, being a bad furmom :( raising him wrong, maybe its in my family to worry lol or maybe Im just worried because I really dont want to be doing a bad job, and I dont want him to be brought up wrong or to be considered "BAD" because of something I am doing wrong :(

Any help, advice, suggestions, everything, would be great!

Yes,Please enroll Jasper in Puppy Training,Then Obedience Class...maybe even agility after that...if you like
This will address All the issues you have described...I don't know your age...but He is Your Dog,Your Responsibility....By Shutting Him Out...Hours at a Time...You are only making matters Worse...He doesn't understand why You are Home,and He cannot be with you....
Jasper will be able to meet and Play with other dogs at these classes.....Hence,The Socialization...
Boxers are People Dogs.....They Want to Be With You!!!!
As you say...hes' getting Big...Fix these Issues Now,Before they Become a Problem that You Cannot fix....
Classes are usually very Reasonable...lots are offered at local Community centers,YMCA, or your Local Animal Shelter......

Please Keep us Updated!!!!
Jasper is a Beautiful Boy!!!!!
Learn to Enjoy & Appreciate him!!!!:)

Another thing might help is if you have any doggy day care places where you can take him to socialize a couple of times a week when you're at school or work. I think the puppy class would be a great start. And the longer you wait, the harder it will be because he is getting bigger.

I also strongly recommend the Puppy Class and then Obedience Class as well. And the practice, practice, practice what you learn in those classes.

You need to learn how to control Jasper before he gets too big for you to do so. You said he is bored. Do you have a fenced in yard? Take him out and run around with him, throw him a ball for a while and play. Play indoors if you can't go outside. When he jumps on you or anyone else, instruct them to push him off and yell ouch then ignore him for a while. That is how we got Drake to stop jumping on people.

Best of luck to you. I hope things work out.

Puppy Kindergarten, then Obedience! And they are as much for you as for him. You will both be a lot happier for the effort!

Okay well thanks everyone.

Well first about puppy classes, and obedience, I cant start him in any of it yet, because my parents cant afford it right now, I guess I am going to have to get a babysitting/fast food job or something, anything right now--but that leaves more time away from Jasper:( :( :( This is very frustrating, because me working would be for him, to have money for him to go to classes, but its also meaning I will be away from him when I am working, which may sometimes be all day:(

I was babysitting, before we got Jasper, and it was a real easy situation, because I used to babysit my little cousin, who I babysat since birth(shes 3 now), and she would come to my house, so there wouldnt be any leaving Jasper, and he'd get to socialize with her, and get used to children, but her dad isnt working right now--but maybe after winter....

And as for the fenced yard, we dont have one yet, the only place I can play with Jasper is inside:( And by the time we DO have a fenced yard, he will be big, or nearly.

Anyway, keep the advice, suggestions, tips everything comming, I could use them all.

Also, Its noon here, and Im going to leave my room now, and spend the whole day with Jasper, and continue to do that--I can also here my dad yelling at him as I type:o

Thanks guys:D

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Originally posted by DogLover9501
Okay well thanks everyone.

Well first about puppy classes, and obedience, I cant start him in any of it yet, because my parents cant afford it right now, I guess I am going to have to get a babysitting/fast food job or something, anything right now--but that leaves more time away from Jasper:( :( :( This is very frustrating, because me working would be for him, to have money for him to go to classes, but its also meaning I will be away from him when I am working, which may sometimes be all day:(

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Well, you said yourself that you're not spending time with him anyway, so IMO you could at least get a temporary job to pay for the things he desperately needs, like training. :(

Expose him to new things. Take him out for walks every moment you can. I can't stress enough how important it is to socialize your dog now at this age. We thought we socialized Kai enough as a pup cause we were always going to events and such but he's still really timid of people and busy roads.

And work on obedience with him. I find that it's easier to tire out a dog mentally than physically (especially those puppies! I don't think I've ever been able to physically tire out a puppy). When my boys are acting naughty, we practice obedience. A tired dog, is a good dog. We practice obedience everyday just so they're satisfied. Who knows, maybe it'll save his life one day. Kai's sit and stay saved his life many times already.

When new people come over, have him on leash but the moment he jumps up on someone, you can snap the leash, use a water squirter or anything to let him know that that's no allowed. For Kai, we ignore him when he jumps and wait until he sits before he gets praise from the visitor. For Kaedyn, he has to down and stay or else he gets a squirt. He's very nippy with new people but this has worked really well with him.

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Well, you said yourself that you're not spending time with him anyway, so IMO you could at least get a temporary job to pay for the things he desperately needs, like training.

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Well I was hoping to start spending alot more time with him, and working won't help me do that, but I also dont know how to go about getting a job, and I keep on mentioning it my mom and she doesn't say anything at all.

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Expose him to new things. Take him out for walks every moment you can. I can't stress enough how important it is to socialize your dog now at this age. We thought we socialized Kai enough as a pup cause we were always going to events and such but he's still really timid of people and busy roads.

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I just told my mom about, how Id like to get him into some other class, I will probably start babysitting again soon, and I told her all the bad things that can come from not socializing him, because we dont take him anywhere, but we're really not sure where to take him, to be new people and new situations, or also where to take him to meet with other dogs, the only times hes met with other dogs is at the pet store to get his pictures with santa, and he was great with all the dogs, and at his first free basic command class where he played great with a rottweiler!

I wish I continued to take him there, as we would have been nearly threw, but I didnt want him to learn all those things by using a choke collar, hes learned sit, lay down, both paws, both high fives, and is doing good with stay WITHOUT choke collar and Id like to find a trainer that has different methods, but thats hard as there are only about 3 different trainers who do classes here, and one of them is the one we already went to, and another is too far away, so we only have one choice left to call really, and ANOTHER thing is, we're all too shy to get up with him and do the stuff in class :o

And also its way too cold here right now, and its been too cold since the day we got him, and its very hard because he doesnt want to walk, and he has been for a few walks, and is ALREADY very hard to walk, and I have been trying to make him walk by my side, but he pulls alot, and also I keep stepping on him because he tries to go out in front of me, and my hand ends up getting tired very early in the walk, he is also very shy of cars, I have to stop everytime a car comes because he wont move, and he ducks down and goes nuts, sometimes he almost pulls the collar off his head!!!

Well its 1:20pm or so here, and Im back in my room, but only to read this and to update, tonight we MAY be taking him to play with my cousins pitbulls again, the female groweled at him before, but I dont trust the female, even though they trusted the female because females and males usually get along better, but thats not always how it is, because alot of males get along with other males, and I trust the male pit more, as hes just so much more lovable.

I could still use more tips, and advice on the things I just said as well, I have never got a dog, when I was old enough and knew enough to raise it myself, except for Piddle...who was easy, he stayed small, and didnt really do much, small dogs always seem to be easier!

I know that alot of you have raised big dogs, and know alot about socializing and training and just bringing them up, and this is a new experience for me, so I could use all the help I can get, thanks.

puppy class,puppy class, puppy class....... my dog thought it was a treat to go to class. but you have to do it soon. also she is a boxer right? let her play with the pitt bull IF they are not aggressive, but you also have to relize that some dog growl when they get hyper or excited (i know mine do and they are pitts also) pup classes are probably the only way my dog ever would have listened she is VERY hyper.:) good luck

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also she is a boxer right? let her play with the pitt bull IF they are not aggressive, but you also have to relize that some dog growl when they get hyper or excited.

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Yes HE is a boxer;) and my cousins owns 2 pitbulls, the female was groweling, but was not playing, but the male plays and does not growel, and is even more lovable when it comes to people, as the female will growel at strangers when they come into their house and the male just loves everyone! Hopefully they will be home tonight and I can take Jasper up for a while, because I could do that weekly, taking him up there for playdates if all goes well! Thanks

Also would love to see pictures of your pit(s);)

God, this takes me back a good 8 years! Nicki was the exact same puppy as your Jasper. I had the same home environment too - lived with my parents and Nicki was getting more atatched to my mom than me:(

First off, puppy kindergarten worked wonders. Second AND VERY IMPORTANT, make sure you teach your mom and dad the same phrases and motions that you worked on with him in class! I wanted Nicki to learn Down to mean "lay on the floor" Dad kept screaming DOWN to her, meaning "get off the couch" She had no structure and at that age was confused as to what Down really meant. Everything I worked on with her, mom and dad basically underminded and it turned out to be a waste of money because she didn't get the ground rules re-inforced the same way:mad: today, she is a great dog and knows Move Over to mean "get off the couch":)

You will learn all sorts of great techniques to get him used to the idea of not jumping up on people at puppy kindergaten. That will take a lot of time and patience on your part - as well as visitors. He'll quickly catch on so long as the training is daily and consistant. you'll see a big difference within a few weeks!

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I wanted Nicki to learn Down to mean "lay on the floor" Dad kept screaming DOWN to her, meaning "get off the couch"

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omg my dad is the exact same way, Jasper does know "Down" meaning lay down, and my dad says Jasper DOWN when he jumps on people, Jasper DOWN to come down stairs, Jasper DOWN to get off the chair, and Its very confusing to him and I am SO tired of telling them that one word cannot mean everything.

I am still talking things over with my mom, about another class, that we can't afford right now.

And am also thinking, about my birthday, it isnt until may but my whole family, well most of them were going to pitch in(money-wise) to get me a digital camera, but maybe they should pitch in money wise, for me to keep, unless Im babysitting again.

catnapper-I will probably PM you about some things, if you dont mind, since you sort of know how stressfull it can be and I bet you also know how it feels to wish that you were moved out everyday ;)

I'm in the middle of working at the moment so I can't take a lot of time to give advice or thoughts but I wanted to reply quick cause I often tend to forget to if I put it off until later!

First of all I understand it is a tougher situation for you because you live with your parents and you can only do so much if they don't both support you in what you are trying to do, and I don't just mean financially, but also with communicating about commands and so on.

I think it was very brave of you also to admit your own shortcomings here since it opens you up to potential criticism and I know for me it would be hard to face that since I would feel guilty enough about making mistakes already! But I think the fact that you know and admit your mistakes is a wonderful thing and opens the door to really change those things that you don't like. Of course, everyone here makes mistakes from time to time. The important thing is to realize it and do something about it :)

Finally, I just started using a clicker for training. I picked it up for $5 at PetsMart and there are a lot of places on the internet to help you learn how to do it. It REALLY helps stimulate the dog and make them anxious to learn. You might like to look into that some for Jasper.

This site has a lot of information and resources about it: http://www.clickertraining.com/home/index.htm

I do wish you the best in finding the best solution for you and for Jasper. Keep us updated!

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The time spent in obedience classes will more than make up for the time spent away from him babysitting. Good luck!

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I think thats a very good point, I will be looking for a babysitting job! ;) Thank you!

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I think it was very brave of you also to admit your own shortcomings here since it opens you up to potential criticism and I know for me it would be hard to face that since I would feel guilty enough about making mistakes already! But I think the fact that you know and admit your mistakes is a wonderful thing and opens the door to really change those things that you don't like. Of course, everyone here makes mistakes from time to time. The important thing is to realize it and do something about it

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Well I just know that there is alot of things that I could/should be doing and Im not, and also that Im running out of time, as he is getting older and older and bigger and BIGGER and I need to get him under controll NOW not when hes 80-90 pounds.

I also know that there are tons of people on here that can help me, and you all are helping so much, and that when I do get Jasper's training under controll and when things do get better, I will owe so much of it to you guys:D

Thanks!!

I'm glad you're going to be able to help Jasper. :)

You sound like you really care about him, and are responsible enough to take matters into you own hands. I know what it can be like when your parents don't listen. Good luck! ^_^

my friends belgin malios cross would jump on people at the door, so kyla got in the habit of placing the halti and a short lead on her when some one knocked (there was a note on the door explaining that dog training was in progress, so be patient with the door opening). when the visitor knocked, freya would run to the door baying like a hell hound, kyla would take the short lead in her hand and have freya sit before kyla would open the door to the visitor. if freya didn't jump, the visitor would give her a treat(a puppy cookie, really small, just a taste really). after a few minutes kyla would remove the halti, lavish praise and so it went. freya still bays like she's coming through the door to rip out your throat, but she only sits now.
and the suggestion about the whole family using the same word for the same command is dead on right. good luck, i respect your plea for help, you're brave in asking for it.

Thanks joycenalex:D I may give that a try!

.::. Updates .::.

Okay well I also posted my training problems, on a different forum, an all boxer forum, and someone on there found me a clicker trainer right around here, a 10-15 min drive!!

Its $140.00 for 7 weeks, then for the second clicker training course its $120.00 for 6 weeks, and theres also a puppy class thats $149.00 BUT it includes a puppy kit, that to BUY from the trainers shop is $49.00 so really its a cheap class, with a 50 dollar kit!

Should I do the puppy thing first? or go right to clicker?

Go to the library and get yourself a book on dog training.

Take him for a walk every day, and work on training then. Cold or not, he needs his exercise, and it will help both of you.

Make it a routine: when you get home rom school, for example, after you've come in, greeted him and the humans, and gotten all your stuff put down, snap on the leash and take him for a walk! It doesn't have to be for miles, just make it a pleasant time every day. When it's really cold, walk faster, it'll keep you warmer, and him, too.

Take him to parks, and make him sit when you get near friendly-looking people. Most people who like dogs will cooperate if you ask them not to pet him until he's sitting - explain you are training him. With really little kids, if he gets extra wiggly (like every Boxer I've ever known, they've al looooooved kids) either make him sit and hold him between your knees, or, once you've trained him to lie down, have him do that.

But tomorrow, go to the library and get and read a dog training book. It's free, so no one can object, right? Hey, and once you've got him trained to walk politely on a leash, maybe you can walk other people's dogs for money, once they see his stellar example!

Call your vet or local Humane Society, and ask about low-cost classes.

There's no "easy fix" but with effeort and consitency, you and he can become a great team, and everyone will be happier for it. Right now he's probably bored and confused. You working with him, and training him will help both those situations!