I really screwed up big time.

Boy did I butt into the wrong business this time.

I am an ICU nurse. This kid came into the ICU in a coma from a drug overdose. He was on a ventilator (ie life support) and didn't look like he was going to make it.

He was 18 years old - a really wierd kid. He had piercings all over and he had carved things into his skin and poured pepper in to make the scars bigger, etc. etc.

Miraculously, he recovered. When he was able to talk, I found out that he was homeless. He had come up here with the carnival after running away from home. He'd had a very bad home life.

He had bad drug and alcohol problems, no money, no place to go. He was very immature, definitely not an adult even though he was 18.

So - being the busy body I am, I asked him if I could refer him to this place I know that takes in kids who have such problems and are too old for foster care. It's a Christian camp for young men with drug and alcohol problems, and trouble with the police.

He was very happy and so I called them and recommended him to them.

After he was discharged I found out he is a felon on parole! He has molested small children.

I feel absolutely awful for helping this kid! Now he's going to be out at this Bible camp and what is going to happen to them if he molests kids or something? It will put the Bible camp in a bad light, and it's not even their fault!

Hopefully no children will ever be at the camp!

I called them and told him to please check out his criminal record, but because of privacy laws I couldn't tell them any more.

Why didn't I just keep my nose out of his life? Why am I such a sucker?

Can you anonymously let the police know that a paroled child molester is living at the church camp?

At least you didn't bring him to your home to live!

I really don't think you screwed up, BUT, I do think you have a professional obligation. IF he is a paroled sex offender, than, that is a matter of public record. There isn't any confidentiality requirements to be concerned with.

I don't know of any privacy laws that would prohibit your call with specific details about his past. After all, that is the 'problem', not his medical care/treatment, which would be privileged. IMO.

Quote:

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Originally posted by stacwase


After he was discharged I found out he is a felon on parole! He has molested small children.

I feel absolutely awful for helping this kid! Now he's going to be out at this Bible camp and what is going to happen to them if he molests kids or something? It will put the Bible camp in a bad light, and it's not even their fault!

Hopefully no children will ever be at the camp!

I called them and told him to please check out his criminal record, but because of privacy laws I couldn't tell them any more.

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Well you just told over 6000 people, so much for privacy, huh.
LOL. Really, no joke, I do think you owe it to the camp to tell
them everything you know & let them take it from there. I believe
they have a need to know this.

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Originally posted by Cataholic
I really don't think you screwed up, BUT, I do think you have a professional obligation. IF he is a paroled sex offender, than, that is a matter of public record. There isn't any confidentiality requirements to be concerned with.

I don't know of any privacy laws that would prohibit your call with specific details about his past. After all, that is the 'problem', not his medical care/treatment, which would be privileged. IMO.

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Agreed. :) Don't feel bad about not knowing. How could you have at the time? You were just trying to help someone. What if you checked to see if they had a criminal record, it came up somewhat clean, and he had already left before you could let him know about the camp?

I think I know what camp you are talking about. Andy's parents get honey (something given back for donating to the camp) from a 'Boys Troubled Youth Camp' somewhere in MI.

Could be the same one. I mean, if they are used to dealing with troubled youths, I'm sure they've had to deal with similar cases.

I don't know the legal implications, but you have a moral obligation to inform the camp. Please take Cataholic's advice and inform them. They need to know.

I wouldn't be quite so hard on yourself. Your initial intention sounds very pure to me.

When you found out about his background - you DID call them. I am sure they will look into it immediately, if they are a responsible group of people.

What you see as screwing up may take a whole other turn. Probably this kid has never been in a situation like this. It might be difficult for him to toe the line at first - but obviously they must have counselors that are professionally able to deal with his case.

Let us all just pray that this young man may have gotten the first good direction in his life -

AND IT WILL BE YOUR FAULT!:D

I called them and said "I can't tell you any more than this but, please, please check his criminal record!" Then I said "I'm very sorry for sending him to you. I didn't know what he had done."

The guy said "Don't worry about it. That's what we're here for."

So I don't know if I got my point across or not. I would hope so.

As for telling 6000 people - there are so enough 18-year-olds in hospitals up here that I don't think anybody could figure out who it was from the information given. So I don't think I broke any HIPAA laws. I just needed to talk to somebody about it so badly!

I tried to talk to the nurses I work with about it, but they already hated him even though they hadn't heard what he had done. The piercings were just too evil for them, I guess.

I have been looking everywhere for information and can't find any telling if kids that young can still be rehabilitated. I mean - he is so immature and he's never had any guidance. There's no doubt he was molested as a child. Something terrible must have happened to him because he carves all over himself.

He was so surprised and grateful that I had done something for him. He said that he knew it was a miracle he had survived (it truly was) and that he had already been sitting down in the chapel, praying that God would tell him why he let him live. He had no problem at all with the fact that it was a bible camp.

Jeez I'm a sucker. Here I know what he is and I'm still hoping.

Do you think he could be rehabilitated?

Someone once said to me "anything is possible with God" - and if he was already in the chapel praying.........that certainly is a good sign.

I for one, will pray for him, all of these young people in such terrible trouble - it makes me so sad.

It sounds as though you were the only person that helped him.
Please, stop beating yourself up!

YOu've done well. Yours is probably the first act of kindness that he's experienced in a very long time. Now that the counselors know your concern, I'm sure they'll give him what ever help is possible. I do not know enough about these issues to know if he has a chance or not.

Chances are that they run criminal background checks as a standard procedure so that they know what kind of help he needs.

Don't feel bad, Stacwase. You had good intentions. And who knows, perhaps what you did will turn this kid's life around. I have a friend who often helps homeless people...what she always says is it is her obligation to help people. But what they do with her help is between them and God.

I don't think you screwed up.
I think you care, and have a big heart.
What more can you do, you contacted the
camp twice to warn them.
Now I would think the ball is in their court?

Maybe this is the catalyst that he needs to turn his life around. Just because he's a paroled felon doesn't mean that he will immediately go out and do the same thing again. Perhaps he and God reconciled and your help will make his journey complete.

i don't feel that you violated HIPPA. as health care providers, we have a duty to safeguard the privacy of our patients. you have a higher duty to safeguard the physical and emotional health of kids. it would be immoral to not suggest to the camp that there was an issue this serious, and they need to check him out carefully before he's around vulnerable kids. i give you kudos for your compassion in reaching out to this young man, maybe he can be salvaged before anyone else is so hurt by his actions...(((hugs)))

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Originally posted by stacwase
Why didn't I just keep my nose out of his life? Why am I such a sucker?

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I believe we should help each other, until we find out otherwise. I think you did the "right" thing with the situation as you knew it. Don't fault yourself for doing the "right" thing. Your kind act may be the spark that starts his life on a path to becoming better. :)

I agree, don't beat yourself up over this. Your help may have been just what he needed to get him on the right path.
I believe that anyone can change if they want to enough.

Don't beat yourself up!! You were just trying to do a nice thing for someone in need. We need more people willing to do that...

I have to agree that your intentions were honorable and very pure hearted.
You have done what you could with warning the camp.
I know that some criminals/convicts put on the show of 'getting religion' to get out of prison or for show. And only this young man and God know if he is reformed and has accepted God into his heart or if his intentions are NOT honorable.
not trying to turn this into a religion discussion
But since he had a bad childhood it is possible he was molested also, and repeated the cycle. And also it is possible that he is reformed.
(course I could also watch waaay to many Law and Order SVU episodes !!) ;)
I wish you luck!!! And this young man luck too, he is going to need it.

When you give help, you give it irregardless of a persons background. Why, in the Bible, Jesus himself helped some of the worst sinners and social outcasts. What you did was a good thing and it may well be the thing that turns his life around.............

Stacy,


Any news on the kid? I do truly hope that he will make the most of this opportunity. You may have just saved a life....you never know when you deal with humans.

I don't have any news on him yet. I promised him I would call the camp and see how he was doing, so I'm going to call tomorrow. I just don't want to make a pest of myself to the people.

I know he hadn't moved in yet. There was this girl he was seeing, and her parents agreed to let him stay at their house but only for a few days until he got things arranged at the camp.

Are you all praying for him?

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Originally posted by stacwase

Are you all praying for him?

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Yes, Staci, I am............keep us posted whenever you hear any news

i dont think you are a sucker, i think you are a good person i would have recomended him to the place even if i knew he had a bad past criminaly. ppl should have a second chance why do you think he is on parole? he has a second chance and i feel sorry for the poor kid.

I was going to bring that up as well. He is 18. Is he a child molester? Or is he a young man, who as a child was molested and continued the cycle.
This sounds like just the thing he needs. Simply because he turned 18 doesn't make him a man in most ways...
the camp sounds like its FOR kids with problems, and that's what he is.
That said, you DID do the right thing in informing them of his HIDDEN problem.

Quote:

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Originally posted by shais_mom
But since he had a bad childhood it is possible he was molested also, and repeated the cycle. And also it is possible that he is reformed.
(course I could also watch waaay to many Law and Order SVU episodes !!) ;)
I wish you luck!!! And this young man luck too, he is going to need it.

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Quote:

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Originally posted by stacwase
Are you all praying for him?

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Yup, prayers coming from me too

Quote:

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Originally posted by babolaypo65
I was going to bring that up as well. He is 18. Is he a child molester? Or is he a young man, who as a child was molested and continued the cycle.
This sounds like just the thing he needs. Simply because he turned 18 doesn't make him a man in most ways...
the camp sounds like its FOR kids with problems, and that's what he is.
That said, you DID do the right thing in informing them of his HIDDEN problem.

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That's exactly what I was thinking too. Emotionally, he's certainly not an adult. I sure hope this helps. Thank all of you so much for your prayers and support.

aww stacwase u are such a good person, we need more people like u.
u did your best to help someone in need (and its not your fault you didnt know what he was really like), and then you notified the camp to tell them what you had found out.
we really need more people like u in this world.

how where you to know??? What are ever the chances of somthing like that happening... You did the right thing, it just turned out wrong. Id try and get ahold of the camp.

Well - I talked to someone from the camp in person today. She says he's not there but it might just be because it takes a while to process everything. They definitely want him there, even though they know all about him now. That's wonderful, I think. I guess they have a very good program and everybody is well-supervised, and he wouldn't be a liability. She's going to find out what's going on and let me know.

See, you were worried for nothing and you may have just saved this kid's life. You have achieved the rank of heroine for that one!

This is going to have a good outcome that is going to make you very proud you stepped up to bat for this kid!!

There just aren't that many people out there that would take the time and energy. I think Mugsy is right on the money - heroine!

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Originally posted by mugsy
See, you were worried for nothing and you may have just saved this kid's life. You have achieved the rank of heroine for that one!

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Gee - I've never been called a heroine before! Thanks Gini, Thanks Mugsy! I sure hope it does work out. It would be great to have made a difference in at least one person's life. We'll soon find out.

Do you have any updates for us?

No updates - I haven't seen the girl who volunteers there lately, and I don't want to keep calling and bugging them. I'll see her Thursday, hopefully. thanks for asking!