A question for those who foster

Am I doing something wrong? My foster kittens, who have always come around to trust me, are always so shy and afraid of other people. First Chevy.....well, we all know how he was. And Timmy, a terrific cat, sits in his cage at adoption day like he never saw a human before. And when people visit, he hides. The 5 new kittens who are all coming around in their own time are TERRIFIED when people come to see them. :( Even Bonnie's babies, and Bonnie herself, were not really people friendly when visitors came to the house. I know that the ones who got adopted DID warm up to their families, but why are they so afraid of visitors. It turns some people away? Can I change something that I am doing? I don't get visitors, so I can't really expose them to other people except at adoption days. Maybe I am a bad foster home after all. :( Maybe they need more interaction with a diverse amount of people, something I can not give them. :(
Suggestions?!

Well, I've never fostered, but we have had similar experiences in the past. Kuhio was sweet and loving to us. She'd be purring her brains out and if the doorbell rang or the phone, she'd take off like she'd been lit on fire and hide until the awful noise and people left. We started leaving talk radio on all day while we were at work. At first we'd have to track her down when we got home. Eventually she got used to the noise and voices and we'd find her out in the open when we got home. We don't get many visitors either and our house is pretty quiet. Leaving the radio or TV on could be worth a try.

I don't think you are doing anything wrong. I also foster cats and dogs. All of the kittens we rescued were actually born in a feral colony and turned out great, not affraid of anyone. I think a lot of it has to do with most of the kittens came into my house at only a few days old and grew up with a lot of hussle and bussle...and barking. We never have visitors either and the only exposure to other people that my foster cats get is at adoptions. They don't like being at adoptions, but all of the barking dogs doesn't bother them since they live with that at home.

People just need to understand that being at adoptions is stressful on cats and they aren't going to be the freindly cuddle bugs that they are at your house. I try to post signs at adoptions telling people this. I also hang pictures of the cats on their cages that show how they really are at home just to give people an idea of their true personality.

Hope this helps. Don't be so discouraged. You're doing a great thing by providing temporary homes and TLC to these cats that may have died on the streets or in a shelter. Keep up the great work, those babies need it.

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People just need to understand that being at adoptions is stressful on cats and they aren't going to be the freindly cuddle bugs that they are at your house

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Yes, but they are like this at my HOME when people they don't know come here. :(

Jen, I have wondered the same thing about my babies! It is just me and my husband so I wonder if that has anything to do with it. I have always blamed the fact that they were feral and even though they were pretty young when I got them in I think some of that is inbred. Sammy and Leroy are very social and they really weren't raised any different from the others. I think their mama's early lessons on fear just never leave them. I have often wondered if I had tried harder to socialize them with other people that maybe they wouldn't be so chicken. I did on several occasions try to bring them into a room where it was just my mother. I told her to speak quietly but when I carried Pete (the most layed back) into the room he saw her and ripped my arm and shoulder to peices getting away. I don't know if there is really anything that we could do any different. I have come to the conclusion that what is taught to them by their mothers in the first few weeks of life can never really be broken. I don't think so anyway. I think they may learn to relax a little but that nervousness and fear is always close to the surface. These are just my conclusions but they make sense to me when I watch my babies. They are feral but they have never been harmed by a human so it has nothing to do with that.
Let's blame their MAMA'S!! It seems to be the thing to do in this day and age anyway, doesn't it???:D http://petoftheday.com/talk/images/o...es/biggrin.gif

I guess we just have to come to grips with the fact that cats are aloof by nature and they make their own rules. My brother took 2 cats that were feral born, but raised in my house from days old. One of them greets everyone at the door while the other just keeps to himself until he's ready to make an appearance. Cats are odd creatures, that's why I prefer dogs. ;)

When I got Kacey and Kiri from a shelter, their records had identical descriptions even though they're not exactly the same age--that led me to believe that they were fostered by the same person until they were old enough for adoption. Kacey's extremely gregarious and isn't at all shy around strangers. Kiri runs and hides until visitors go away.

As for the ferals I've taken in, they all run away when they hear somebody at the door. But some will come out while visitors are here, while others stay hidden. Angel, who had human contact from the earliest age of all (he was born in my house), is the most timid.

In other words, cats will be cats. ;)

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Originally posted by catcrazylady
. . I think some of that is inbred. . . I don't know if there is really anything that we could do any different. I have come to the conclusion that what is taught to them by their mothers in the first few weeks of life can never really be broken. I don't think so anyway. I think they may learn to relax a little but that nervousness and fear is always close to the surface. . . Let's blame their MAMA'S!! It seems to be the thing to do in this day and age anyway, doesn't it???:D

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I agree! Their Mothers taught them to be fearful of ALL humans, so they come to trust ONLY those humans that have shown them kindness, caring, and food. Once someone else in human form is within their midst, the instinctual fear kicks in and they become reclusive or want to flee.

Muskrat (Tortie in avatar) was only trusting toward me, since I nursed her little broken-legged feral self back to health (except for being FeLV+ since I can't make that go away) with lots of care and attention. To this day, she will accept my husband cleaning her box and feeding her, but she will STILL turn on him in a split second, without any hesitation.:( As for strangers, just the sight of anyone besides him or me and she is in crouched, attack mode. I doubt if I can ever find a home for her, so she must live in the basement apart from the other cats due to her FeLV.

Jen, you do all you can to give these little ones a fair chance at life, so don't feel inadequate . . . feline instinct coupled with the early lessons from mom-cats are virtually impossible to revoke. You have found exceptions to this before, and you will find them again, so don't feel discouraged . . . remember the wonderful feeling when a feral, tamed by your compassion and devotion, finds a forever home . . . it will happen again!:)

We don't have a lot of foot traffic, but some of my fosters seem nonplussed by the visitors and others to the hiding routine.
If I have a scared one, I physically carry them out to greet the visitors, get a quick pet, and take them back to their safe area before real terror sets in.
How else will they get used to it? I always make it the least traumatic for them and try to end it on a good note.

BTW, my little scared, fat girl is coming around socially. She will go on a long transport to her forever home. I think she will adjust quicker this second time around, having had so much interaction here in foster.

Jen,

You definitely need to get more people to come over and interact with the kittens. They need socialization and also need to be handled more so they get used to people other than you.

LilEli is still scared of anyone that comes over to visit. I've had him for over a year now and while he still shys away from me a little bit, he's more relaxed than he was when I first got him.

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Originally posted by moosmom
Jen,

You definitely need to get more people to come over and interact with the kittens. They need socialization and also need to be handled more so they get used to people other than you.

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Donna,
I KNOW you are correct, but unless all you pet talk people want to come visit, then I have no one to do that for me. :(

I hear ya! I don't have much company either.

Jen I would love to come over and meet and play with the hoard(you passed heard a while ago:)), but you are a little too far away.

I have an idea, is it possible to take one or two to work with you and let them interact with people there. Maybe rotate one a day and that may help. I don't know if that is really a workable solution, but it was just a thought.

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I have an idea, is it possible to take one or two to work with you

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Actually, I could, I work at a pet groomer, so animals are definitely allowed!!!! But, I just don;t know how it would be better than adoption day events, the'd be caged with strangers staring at them and poking them. It sure hasn't helped Timmy (or Chevy)

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Originally posted by CatDad
. . . is it possible to take one or two to work with you and let them interact with people there. Maybe rotate one a day and that may help. I don't know if that is really a workable solution, but it was just a thought.

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Fantastic idea! I'm all for having a resident cat (or two . . . or more!) in the workplace environment, but some employees may be allergic or have other objections:( It is strictly forbidden in the office where I work. :mad:

I think I will start a poll/thread on this!

Jen, I bet I know what it is .... same thing with me!!! My kitties are soooo very loving, but whenever the rare visitor comes, some of them freak out! I think the problem is that my husband and I are very private people, we just really don't like having alot of house guests .... unfortunately that makes the kitties too accustomed to just us, and not to being around a variety of people! :rolleyes:

Jen, look at it this way--if your social calendar was booked with people constantly coming to visit, or if you were raising kids who could interact with the cats . . . when would you have time to take care of the cats?

If you can find a way to get them some additional social contact, fine. But please, don't feel like you're doing anything less than a wonderful thing by fostering kitties.

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Originally posted by kimlovescats
. . . my husband and I are very private people, we just really don't like having alot of house guests .... unfortunately that makes the kitties too accustomed to just us, and not to being around a variety of people! :rolleyes:

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Same here. In fact, the last visitor to my house was a man doing work in our bathroom. My husband was not home, and when the workman came in the door carrying his tools, my macho-cat Schuyler sat upright, chest out, right in front of his path, STARING at the guy! The guy stopped dead in his tracks! I had to reassure Schuyler and scoot him aside or else the man would not have crossed his path. I know Schuyler would not have attacked him, but I let the man be afraid if he got those vibes . . . besides, I felt so safe and proud of my protective stud-muffin! :)

A new line in home security: the Cattweiler

I have done big time rescuing & fostering over many years, and I have to say that there will be some cats who will bond to particular people, and some who won't ever socialize. It depends a lot on the age, and how much outdoor human contact they've had. I have had great luck with some who (I thought were 4 months old) and found out after the vet visit they were all over six months. I now know to check teeth for age gauge! I still have my Sweet Pea, and misc. others from this particular colony that I worked on in 1995. Sweet Pea is a social butterfly! I'm glad she did the shy act when out for adoptions at the local Petco, as she has been one of the most animated charming cats I've ever had! I ask her if she "wants to stretch", and she puts her little legs up and I stretch her, and call her the longest kitty in Lynn! I read in a "Catnip" newletter a while back that kittens that are sired by a friendly tom cat tend to socialize fine, whereas kittens sired by a feral tom will be wild. As many of us know, a female in heat attracks toms galore, and a litter can have several fathers. I have noticed that in some litters I've rescued, that some will be sweethearts, and others untouchable. Go figure! I had no idea sperm cells from cats would pass on such genetics, but it was a long term study. I know I'm posting this long after the initial question, but maybe someone will gain some insight, as I have!:)

That is VERY interesting about the tom cat possibly being the link to whether the cat is fearful or not.

By the way......welcome to pet talk......I LOVE your user name :D

Interesting . . . a study that indicates kittens are more likely to inherit their fathers' personality/temperment rather than their mothers' . . .
I have often thought that Schuyler's genes should be passed on, but it's too late now . . . I'm sure he sowed his wild oats prior to winding up in my trap, and I would love to encounter and am so curious about his offspring, as I bet they are as wonderful as cats can be, just like their daddy.:cool: I hope they, too, found appreciative and loving guardians. :)

Well, thank you for altering your kitty, (that's the impression I got). Genetics are so complex with cats, especially ferals! I have seen, and rescued so many different kittens, and many could have passed for full breeds. My most peculiar rescue was a blue point siamese X that turned out to be a hermaphrodite. He/She went through hell with a pneumonia, and ended up going through a condition called "blue eye" where the retina separates from the cornea. I went through so much to bring this kittens eyesight back. He/ She had a happy ending, having almost totally normal eyesight, a spay, and neuter. Shroomie also got a wonderful home when the owners p their hackles when vet # 1 said PTS! A followup call a year later made my heart swell when they said that this very special gorgeous kitten was the love of their lives! Jan (with oooooh so many more tales to tell)!

Wow . . . I wonder how uncommon a hermaphrodite cat is!:eek: Glad he/she found a good home.

I do TNR and Schuyler was just too docile (AND gorgeous!) to release! :D

Welcome to Pet Talk and look forward to hearing more about your rescues.:)

Jen, I'm a lonely little cat person, I'd love to come over a help socialize the little fellas! Also, just so you know, Pouncer was a sweet, friendly little doll baby the day I met him! I wouldn't have taken him home with me if he wasn't. i've been to a few of the events where you had kittens- - I saw one of your kittens get adopted at the one right before Christmas. You're a wonderful foster mother! Don't ever forget it!

Thanks, but I held Pouncer from the time he was 3 days old. I don't have that advantage with them all.
My toughest one is Annie. She's going to Petco this Sunday hoping someone will not be able to resist her lovely self and will give her a chance to love someone but me.
BUT............
I could always use someone to just sit with the scaredy cats and show them that people CAN be good!!!!! We'll talk! :D

Yes, the scaredy cats need a lot of immersion therapy (or so they call it with us humans and our phobias!). If you could get someone to come over and carry the scared ones around as much as possible.. it would help. and just blab at them. There are these things you can buy in catalogues that hold feral kittens at your stomach so you can go about your regular house buisness with them. Kinda like a baby sling thing in the front but for the kittens. My friend, Queenscoopalot, says pooh pooh on these contraptions; save money by making one yourself by putting on a large t-shirt and pinning it up around the kitten. It forces them to get familiar with people smells and sounds and motions while keeping them in a dark, secure "womb". Me, I just bug them in the cage and force them to hours of talk. But, then, I haven't been able to engage in any real socializing in a couple of years because of my job hours (and commute into Boston every day). I no longer have the time for what they need. There's a foster mother here on the North Shore, who, from what I've been told, has been extremely successul in desensitizing ferals to sounds and people because she is wheelchair bound and somehow has the feral strapped to her lap all day (maybe same concept as t-shirt, I don't know her). Unfortunatly, it mostly boils down to time... and there is so little...keep up the good work and use your resources! (above volunteer!)