Some actual answers given in history tests in Sunday school
The following excerpts are actual answers given in history tests and in Sunday school quizzes by children in 5th and 6th grade ages in Ohio.
They were collected over a period of three years by two teachers. Read carefully for grammar, misplaced modifiers, and of course, spelling!
Ancient Egypt was old. It was inhabited by gypsies and mummies who all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate Of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandos. He died before he ever reached Canada but the commandos made it.
SoloMon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. He was a actual hysterical figure as well as being in the bible. It sounds like he was sort of busy too.
The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a young female moth.
Sockrates was a famous old Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. He later died from an overdose of Wedlock which is apparently poisonous. After his death, his career suffered a Dramatic decline.
In the first Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java. The games were messier then than they show on TV now.
Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Paul. The Ideas of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he raised his hand and yelled out "Same to you, Brutus."
Joan of Arch was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw for reasons I don't really understand. The English and French still have language problems.
Queen ElizaBeth was the "Virgin Queen," As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah and more!" and that was the end of the fighting for a long while.
It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of the blood.
Sir Walter Rawlee is a historical figure because he invented Cigarettes and started people smoking.
Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper which was very dangerous to all his men who went running from him.
The greatest writer of the Renaisance was William Sheikspear. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentupmeter.
Writing at the same time as Shakespear was Miguel Cervantes. He Wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was Johane Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. After his wife died, he wrote Paradise Found.
Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin, another Virgin, were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by Rubbing two cats together and also declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." He was a naturalust for sure. Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's Mother died in infancy, but she gave birth to him in a log cabin which he built with his own hands.. Abraham Lincoln feed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation.
On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got Shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assainator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.
Johann Back wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between children he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Back died from 1750 to the present. Back was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handle. Handle was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large and spoke many languages.
BeethOven wrote music even though he was very deaf. He was so deaf that he wrote loud music and became the father of rock and roll. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. BeethOven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
The nineteen century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up.
Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men.
Louie Pasture discovered a cure for rabbits but I don't know why.
Charles Darwin was a naturalust. He wrote the Organ of the Species. It was very long and people got upset about it and had trials to see if it was really true. He sort of said God's days were not just 24 hours but without watches who knew anyhow? I don't get it.
Madman Curie discovered radio. She was the first woman to do what she did. Other women have become scientists since her but they didn't get to find radios because they were already taken.
Carl Marx was one of the Marx Brothers. The other three were in the movies. Carl made speeches and started revoltions. Someone in the family had to have a job, I guess.
