Poll .... Your HONEST opinion PLEASE!!!

Due to the recent losses I have had, I am seriously feeling overcome with GUILT and REMORSE. I'm feeling that I have past the point of helping with my rescue work and am now doing more harm than good. :(

Taking in so many at one time, and having several of "your own" to provide for as well, can become overwhelming ... particularly on the budget. To date, I have not been able to find another local rescue program who will help with finances, I only know of two other local area women who each do basically the same thing I do. One of them is very diligent, but has experienced MUCH more loss of life than I have. :( The other is very young and as far as I can tell, "in it for the money"!!!! She charges $75.00 for each adoption, even if they have nad NOTHING done to them (spay / neuter, shots, etc.) and sends them out in FILTHY condition! :mad: :mad: So.... I KNOW I at least have done "better" than her! :rolleyes:

OK.... here is the setup for the poll......

I try to look at the overall picture, where would my rescues have been, if I had not taken them in? How would they have passed on? etc....etc.... Should I have turned them away, would they have been better "served" elsewhere, or put to death at the pound? I KNOW that several were definitely going to the pound!

:mad: :( :( :mad:

Please answer the poll honestly! MULTIPLE answers are allowed!

THANKS

Kim,

I will be honest but my answer isn't on your list.

I would suggest you look at each cat's situation on a case by case basis and do what you feel is the best solution.

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but you asked for opinions, so here is a few.....
You should not feel obligated to take a cat because the 'owner' threatens to PTS.

You are NOT responsible for their behaviour. Tell them that. :mad:, give them a list of rescue centres.

You can only afford vet bills when you can afford them !!

I know some people would pay anything for a pet but everyone has a limit. Sadly money is a factor in deciding vet treatment and don't feel bad about this, it is just a fact of life.

Having PTS two sick strays, I know how the guilt feeling goes but if the choice is between sick dying cat on the streets or PTS with love, I know which option the cat would choose.
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But in the end these decisions are yours and only yours to make.

You have to live with each and every decision you make.

I'm sure you have made and will continue to make the right choices for all those cats you help.

You have done so much wonderful work in the past and I suspect you'll go onto to help many more kitties in the future.

It is just a shame the endings aren't always happy for the cats but that is the so called 'owners' fault not yours.


{{Hugs}} to you and remember you do a great and charitible deeds for your cats/strays etc but you can't help them all.

(Unless you win the lottery ;) )

Thank you SO much for your honesty, and your GUTS to even answer this post..... see lots of views but only YOUR post so far!!!

;)

I did not answer the poll mainly for the same reasons as Payitforward and I agree fully with her.

You should not feel guilt and remorse because you are NOT responsible for the bad situation of so many cats -it is their former owner and in some way even nature itself because some strays are already in this situation for generations.

If you do your best -and I am sure that's what you do- the situation will be better for some cats but you cannot provide a long life and happiness for all of them. That's because you are not almighty, you are human.

I believe that there is a little cell in space and time in which we can try to make things better -and you are doing more there than many many people. I couldn't do the work you do because I am not as strong as you.

You are helping many cats and make the world quite a bit better in your area. And you should be proud of that even if it is nearly too tough sometimes:)

{{{{{Hugs}}}}}

Kim
That’s such a tough question and I don’t think you should be beating yourself up over the losses. I know this is devastating, but you were trying to do the right thing. Even so, I have to go with “if you don’t have the funds to provide proper vet care than maybe the kitten/cat needs to be where it can be provided when needed”. Especially when you first bring in a new kitten/cat, they should be examined by a vet to ensure there is nothing wrong. Kittens coming into your home may have gone through some difficult situations that may have weakened their immune system making them susceptible to illness. They may also have been exposed to illness prior to coming. You’ve done a wonderful thing saving and helping these babies, but if it is becoming overwhelming financially I feel you need to limit your intake to what you can afford. Best of luck to your rescue efforts!

Kim, while I responded to the poll with an answer of do the best you can. I agree with PayItForward, you can not feel responsible for every cat in the world, you have to make the decision that is best for you both financially and emotionally.

I am not a cat rescuer per se, but any cat that comes to my house is always given the basic needs, food, warmth, shelter and most of all love. I used to let it get to me when I would be out to dinner and see a cat going through a trash can, but in reality I can not save them all and neither can you. You are truely doing a wonderful job, every one that you can help is better off in the long run...even if they are sick. You at least give these cats something that they probally have never had....LOVE. I beleive you are an angel for doing what you do. God gives us only what he feels we can handle.

I have been in your situation. I know about the budget....I argue this with my husband all the time...he says "Cats are so expensive"...my response "So are children and husbands" I feel sometimes like I can never win. I have had to have several of my rescues put down, it is NEVER easy. To me it is the hardest thing in the world. Cleo for instance, never trusted anyone, but she stayed in our yard and accepted the food and shelter that I provided for her. I was never able to touch her...she would just run away. During this winter, we got a really horrible snow storm, it snowed, and snowed, and snowed some more. By the second day of the storm Cleo had moved from her doghouse to one that was in our breezeway of the house. Her eyes were swollen shut, she could not eat, and she was almost comatose. I made the decision to put her down. I stayed with her and petted her, spoke to her and gave her a kiss as she passed. I still cry for her and miss her dearly. I know that I did the right thing, the thing that Cleo would have wanted, I know she did not want to suffer.

I think it is hard because these cats can not "talk" to us. They can not come out and say "You know Kim, I'm actually very sick and would find RB to be a better place for me, but Thank You for caring for me".

I hope this makes some sort of sense. Kim, like I said YOU ARE AN ANGEL!!!!!for doing what you do. {{{hugs}}}

Meg

Quote:

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Originally posted by kimlovescats
Thank you SO much for your honesty, and your GUTS to even answer this post..... see lots of views but only YOUR post so far!!!

;)

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LOL.. I'm just too direct and opinionated :)

Tear are now flowing, Meg ..... I truly do wish that these babies could tell me what they want. I still see the sadness in their eyes and the plea for help, and all I can do is guess at what is best.
:( :( :(

Kim, sorry for the tears...I too wish they could speak. I don't think you are guessing....I have a feeling that if you are anything like me, you know DEEP down that you are doing what is right. It is just that the voice in the back of your head keeps making you second guess your decision. Damn that voice :mad: :mad: :mad:

I can tell you from experience that it hurts for a while, but then after a while you can look back and say without a doubt "I DID the right thing".

Kim, I too agree that you must evaluate each case/cat as they show up. Some cats are ferals and need to stay that way - all you can do is vet them and maybe feed them.

You are not responsible for every cat around. Folks often take the path of least resistance when it comes to getting rid of their pets (pests). They don't want to spend their time looking for a good home so they dump them.

I have taken ferals to the vet for neutering etc. and some of my neighbors thanked me and helped me out financially and some of my neighbors and friends said and did nothing. Oh well. Do what you want and can do....and listen to your heart.

You know you will always have us to help you out if things get tough.

;)

Dear Kim --- I really have nothing much to add because the previous posters have said exactly what I think. Unfortunately for us animal lovers, our hearts are usually bigger than our bank accounts. There is no way we can take in all the neglected or abused babies that we see. It's just physically and financially impossible. A friend of mine and I fantasize from time to time about what we could do we if had the space, energy and money but that is just daydreaming. The reality is that we have to limit what we can do. If you saw someone else doing all that you do but yet they were feeling guilty that they couldn't do more, wouldn't you put an arm around them, reassure them and try to comfort them? Sometimes we have to do that for ourselves, too. We deserve to treat ourselves with the same gentleness and kindness that we too often tend to reserve for others. You are such a loving person. Please know that whatever you CAN do is absolutely AOK and that you can't be expected to do the impossible. So as I wrote at the top, I really have nothing to add :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: Take care of yourself, sweetie, absorb all the {{{hugs}}} sent your way, regroup and then soldier on :)

Kim,

PayItForward said everything I would've said so there's no reason to post it again.

Except....do not EVER let a person threaten to put their cat to sleep just because you won't take it. What they are doing is trying to transfer THEIR guilt on you. I have had that happen to me on several occasions. My comeback is, "You want to kill YOUR cat, that is YOUR decision. I know I'LL be able to sleep tonight and look at myself in the mirror in the morning, WILL YOU??" It will be on YOUR conscience, not mine." Stupid people that pull tha crap have no business owning pets.

Kim, you are doing the very best you can. Please don't get down on yourself or feel guilty because you can't take anymore in. There comes a time when it DOES become overwhelming and that's when you need to take a break.

And every cat situation is different Keep on doing what you're doing, go with your instincts and keep telling yourself that you cannot save them all.

Quote:

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Originally posted by sasvermont
Do what you want and can do....and listen to your heart.

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I couldn't have said this better myself. :)

I think the number one thing are the furkids you have at home. Put them first and if you have time and $$, help who you can. That is the lesson I've learned these past few months with my fosters.

There aren't too many rescue organizations around here either, so I know the feeling when you want a cat to be helped, but you can't do anything about it...unless you take it home.

I know you've begun to get down on yourself. But Kim, please don't. You've done so much for so many unwanted cats and kittens. I'm always so inspired by you and your generosity.

Is there a local shelter or vet's office that would be willing to work with you regarding vet costs, placement and/or maybe even just a place to keep them?

I'll be praying you feel better about things. You're an angel in my book. Honestly, when I start getting down about all the homeless animals, I think of people like you who ARE there and DO make a difference.

In my short time doing it, rescue is a thankless, sad job. I hate, hate, hate letting these kittens go, because in my opinion, the only people "good enough" would be my PT friends.

Kim there is not much I can add, as everyone had said it so well, but I believe every cat or kitten that has entered your household has been truely blessed, with wonderful care, and love, whether or not they survived .

I know you have been going through a particularly rough time of late, and its no wonder you feel this despair, but I am sure Kim it will pass.

I am in awe of you myself, and what you do is fantastic, words cannot express what a wonderful caring individual you are.

You are these furbabies guardian angel!!!!

I am terribly sad for your recent loss, and I know you are still hurting, and you are probably asking yourself WHY? I wish there were some answers, but alas there is not, please donot give up what you are doing, you are doing the very best you can, and there are many beautiful kittys who are alive and well today because of you.

I send you a big HUG and Ash and Lexie send you big furhugs as well.:)

I voted for do the best you can and I think everyone who has responded has expressed how I feel.

You've done wonderful work so far and I know you'll do what is best for you and your rescues.

1) ALL rescue organizations need to say NO sometimes.
2) If all you can help is 1 animal, you've done good. So you need have NO guilt FOR THOSE YOU need TO TURN AWAY.
3) Going into debt over your head will not help anyone.
4) You can not save the world.
5) Charge a set adoption fee even for those animals that have not cost you that much (because the next animal might cost more) The idea is to have it even out in the end.
6) Ask for a drop-off fee. If a person wants to relinquish their cat badly enough, they can make a donation towards its care. (Our local SPCA charges for drop-off)
7) The more animals that pass through your doors the greater chance that you will encounter deaths. This is a fact of life.
8) Find other people also interested in rescue and start up an organization that can possibly one day be turned into a full-fledged non-profit organization that can then start doing fund-raising etc. ALL groups start with one person.
9) An most importantly know this:

YOU'VE DONE GREAT THINGS AND WE ARE ALL PROUD OF YOU !!!

Originally posted by sasvermont
"Do what you want and can do....and listen to your heart. "

Kim, I also agree with this. Please don't feel guilty about not being able to save every cat or kitten that comes your way. In my eyes you are an angel and have done so much good for these poor homeless cats.

I don't know what to say except, you ALL are such wonderfully loving and SPECIAL people!!! You have truly touched me, and helped me to step back and take a look at the situation through YOUR eyes. This is exactly what I needed. I tend to be my own worst enemy at times, and I was unable to see any clarity to this situation. Thank you for helping me see more clearly, and helping me to realize that I have done some good.

I love you all!;)

You really do wonderful work, and it is an emotianal and financial sacrifice for you to do so. But I am sure the rewards are great, when you know that you have saved a life, and found a little furkid a forever home!

I will not even pretend that I have done 10% of what you do, but I have nursed a kitten into the small hours, and gone back to check a couple of hours later to find that it has gone to the RB. It hurts, but I always focus on the fact that at least the kitten knew how it felt to be held, and loved and fed, and when it passed on it was in a soft warm bed.

I am totally in awe of the work that you, and other rescue workers do.

I would ask myself - even if the animal passes to the RB - "would the animal have been better off if I had not intervened" - the answer will disctate what you should do. And I am sure you will find that in 99.9% of cases, the animal is better off in your care.

I have posted this poem before, but I'd really like you to read it again!!!!

(((HUGS)))

Julie

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
We Are Their Heroes
Copyright © Jim Willis 2001, all rights reserved


If you worry that you have not made a difference, you have,
for only those who do not worry about it have not.
If you feel overwhelmed, if the weight of problems is too heavy to bear,
remember it is a shared burden
and the strength of numbers can accomplish much.

If you think society and government are blind,
it only serves to remind that we need to change
one mind at a time, one law after another.
We effect change by cooperation, not by isolation.

If you consider that we cannot save them all,
and what difference does one make?,
you ought to know the joy of the one who is saved.
Mourn those we cannot save, it is a eulogy to their being.
Do not let their loss be in vain.

Be kind to yourself, remember your needs
and those of your family and friends of every species.
If you give everything, what will you have left for yourself,
or for them?
Strive to be happy and healthy. You are needed.
Achieving balance in life is a lifelong struggle.
We who help those who do not have all that they need
should be among the most grateful for what we have.

Be proud of your accomplishments, not your opinions.
The quality of your efforts is more important than the quantity.
Forgive your own deficiencies - sometimes your caring is sufficient.
Everyone can do something, it is up to you to do the thing you can.
A kind word and a gentle touch can change a life.

If anger wells up within you, because people are the problem,
remember your humanity and that people are also the solution.
Concentrate on specific needs, pay attention to the individual -
they make up the whole.
See beyond the unlovable, the unattractive,
the impure and the wounded -
see that their spirit is as deserving as the rest. Help them heal.
Their eyes are windows to their soul
and the mirror of your sincerity.

All species, all beings, share this Earth in a chain of life.
Care more about what makes us alike than what separates us.
Policies, rules and regulations are not infallible.
Apply them judiciously, interpret them wisely.
No decision based purely on money is ever the right one.

Listen to your heart. Sometimes we have to do that which
we are most afraid of.
Be true to yourself and your beliefs.
Family may abandon you,
friends may disappoint you, strangers will ridicule you.
People shun what they do not understand.
Help them to understand - kindly, softly, gently.

Those who do not respect all life are to be pitied.
Often the wrongdoer is as in need of help as his victims.
Forgive, then teach by example.
Educate yourself or you cannot hope to teach others.
No action based in hatred is ever right
and anger drowns out wisdom.

Yours may be a voice crying in the wilderness,
make it a voice to be respected.
Listen more than you talk, be courteous and reliable.
Learn to ask for help. Never waiver from the truth.
Know that it takes a lot of strength to cry
And with every defeat, we learn.

All Creation celebrates that which is in its own best interest.
The Children are our hope - nurture them.
Nature is our legacy - protect it.
The Animals are our brethren - learn from them.

Your rewards will not be material, but they will be meaningful,
and the courage of your convictions can survive anything.
We are small boats cast adrift on a cruel sea,
but someday the tide will turn toward a safe harbor.
No matter how dark the storm clouds,
or deep the pain of heartbreak - never forget:
We are their heroes.

This is such an overwhelming and emotional post and it shows how much love you all have for cats and how caring you all are...but there are people out there who aren't that way and these people try to burden their decisions to you, they don't think about their cats or you, they are only concerned about themselves and these are the people, who all make us sick and angrey...

But always remember these people will always exist and it's tough to ever change their attitude, even if you would take in all the cats they want to get rid off...these people would remain the same knowing that they have reached what they wanted so easily...

Your work is so awesome...so don't ever let you feel bad, because one of those idiots want to push you in responsiblity for something you aren't responsible of...

Like every shelter you have to set restrictions, but always remember you have done more than any could ask for...you've helped so many cats and made them happy, but you cannot help them all...to help them all would mean to change all people's attitude towards other beings and who has ever succeeded here completely?!

YOU ARE DOING GREAT WORK, KIM!!!
Don't you ever forget that!!!

That is a tough question , because no matter what , we cannot rescue Every Cat! And at 12 , I think that I have reached my limit as the Last Two , thank God , I was able to get into a Better Place. But there are still Cats that come around and I will feed and shelter them , the best that I can. But I cannot take anymore in , although the little Tabby , Sweetie Pie is coming around , and shes only one more!People are so irresponsable!

Ally......... what a WONDERFUL and BEAUTIFUL poem..... thank you SO MUCH for sharing this!;)

Thank you also Bisicat and Catmandu for your support and kindness! :)