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I recently married and my husband is "jealous" of my cat Stuart. He tells me "I feel like it's you and Stuart and then me over here."
I think he is mean to him. Stuart hisses and freezes up when he comes around. Do I find another home for my cat or for both of us??????
Grrr this upset me so much. Your husband knew that when he married you Stuart was part of the package. If you had a child and your husband didn't like him would you get rid of your kid? Cats are a life long commitment, you need to sit down with your husband and let him know that your cat is part of the deal. Don't get rid of your cat!
Thank you very much! I will continue to fight for him!!!!
Give them some time alone with each other, have him feed the kitty, have him give toys/treats to Stuart, don't let him be mean to Stuart, and explain that you love them both, just differently!
On the flipside, you knew what your hubby was like before you married him. I'm sure there were hints or instances where you're gut might've told you that hubby-to-be did not care for your cat.Quote:
Originally posted by Uabassoon
Your husband knew that when he married you Stuart was part of the package.
If he is jealous over the bond between you and your kitty, there's no telling what other 'trivial' situations will invoke his jealousy.
Protect your kitty all that you can. Good luck!
Heehee Zippy are saying keep the cat, get rid of the husband :)?
Tell hubby to grow up.
Like a sign I have says.....Love me Love my cat!
When he became a part of your life, he became a part of all of it....that means the cat too.
I don't want to sound judgmental here, But didn't you talk about the cat and his feeling towards cats, before you got married? Well it's to late now for hindsight, you have to work it out with him. You have to tell him the cat is here to stay and to accept it and make the best of it.
One thing though....is it the cat he really hates or is it the time he feels he's losing out on because you might be spending more time with your cat then him?.....in his mind. I went through this awhile back ago and once i put myself in his shoes, I realized my Mooch was spending more time on my lap then he was. So I made adjustments and now Mooch sleeps on his side of the bed not with me anymore. :(
Tell him: Life will be a lot easier if he starts liking the cat.
I agree with just about everybody here. "Love me, love my cat" Cats KNOW when people don't like them. It's a fact. My Dad had a cat years ago (long before I liked them myself). When Dad re-married, I took care of Jessie. It was a week from hell. All she did was hiss and growl at me. She hid during the day and came out at night to eat. She knew I was not a cat person.
But Stuart freezing up whenever hubby is around is a sign that something is up between the two of them. I'm not accusing anyone of abuse mind you, but it COULD be that maybe hubby is a little rough when handling him, like say when he puts him down off the couch, etc.??? Just a hunch.
Tell hubby to grow up. When he married you, he KNEW that Stuart was part of the package.
How long have you guys been together??? It's possible that it'll take some time, providing hubby isn't instigating Stuart's hostility. Be a little patient, but watch carefully and by all means, protect Stuart. Hubby can protect himself, your cat cannot.
Good luck.
Hehhe... If my husband (speaking in near future) EVER had a problem with any of my animals... what would I say?
"BYE BYE!"
My husband is not a cat fan either, but he knew when we started dating, exactly what my life was like, with 2 dogs (at that time :p ), two cats (one of whom bit his toe on our second date), and the two birds, plus one skin kid! :) It seems that maybe your husband didn't realize or want to realize the bond you have with your cat. Sounds silly, but you need to make the extra effort with your husband in my opinion, more than your husband needs to make the effort with Stuart. As long as he is getting his time with you, he'll be fine! Starting your marriage out on the right foot is so important. There is definitely room for all three of you in your home. You just might have to work a little harder to make sure your husband sees it that way!!! :) Good luck to you!
Hi, I agree with loadsa points there. I would recomend that your hubby takes over feeding duties for a while and I'm sure the cat will come round. Also tell your hubby to play with him a little and they'll be friends before you know it . A piece of string with a mouse on the end is my cats favourite toy and no matter how much I try I just can't play as good as my partner Joe who has Bonnie running around mad !!! In no time at all I'm sure they'll both look forward to their playing time !!!
:) :) :)
Good Luck !!!
I agree with the others too! As there is no way back, try to learn your hubby how to enjoy the cat. The most important thing is that he realises that a cat can impossibly be a rival to him (I cannot understand however why he didn't tell ye about this BEFORE marrying you!!)
Do NOT get rid of your cat! He HAS to understand that your cat is part of the household, like it or not!
Good idea to get him to do nice things with your cat. Feed him esp treats, when Stuart starts running to Daddy for treats, his heart will slowly melt.Quote:
Originally posted by sqwelch
Hi, I agree with loadsa points there. I would recomend that your hubby takes over feeding duties for a while and I'm sure the cat will come round. Also tell your hubby to play with him a little and they'll be friends before you know it . A piece of string with a mouse on the end is my cats favourite toy and no matter how much I try I just can't play as good as my partner Joe who has Bonnie running around mad !!! In no time at all I'm sure they'll both look forward to their playing time !!!
:) :) :)
Good Luck !!!
Also maybe Stuart could do with a cat friend. This would work in two ways.
One. Get husband to choose new cat (He might bond with him/her)
Two. Stuart would need less attention from you, if he had a friend to play with.
All the best...I want to see photos of new husband playing with cat(s) very soon ;)
First I would have to agree DON'T GET RID OF STUART, I have to be a little concerned, if you are to have children , will he be jealous of the child as well?
Secondly DONOT LET HIM BE MEAN IN ANYWAY TO STUART. let him know this is an absolute NO NO.
Thirdly, try to encourage him to spend time with the cat and get to know him, and maybe distance yourself a little from stuart, so that hubby can try and form a bond with him.
And last but not least if none of the above work, GIVE HUBBY THE ELBOW, but seriously I think you can work it out, to a nice compromise where everyone is happy including stuart.
HERES HOPING:)