Idiots (funny)

Got this in an email.. hehehe :D



IDIOTS AT WORK:

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed.

When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her.

She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "too many deer were being hit by cars" and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

IDIOT SIGHTING #1:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

IDIOT SIGHTING #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more! often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

IDIOT SIGHTING #4:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

IDIOT SIGHTING #5:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our

car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was not locked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."

Heheheheheheeheheh!!!!!! Thanks for the laugh Naomi!

An old one but good one!! ;)

LOL!! I talk to idiots every day!

This happened a few days ago:

(The Petco Store and the Grooming are different phone numbers. I can't transfer them)

"Thank you for calling Petco GROOMING how can I help you?"

"Do you guys sell fish?"

"Yes we do, but this is the GROOMING. Let me give you the number to the store <said the number>"

"So do you have those <type of fish, don't recall the name>?"

"I don't know, Sir, this is GROOMING, I don't know anything about the fish. Here's the number to the store, they can help you better <said the number again>"

"Oh so you do sell fish? What's that number again?"

:rolleyes:

And there's many idiots who have new breeds of dogs...such as "shit sues" "chiwawas" "puddles" "shnouzers" etc.

And I love the person who came in with this dog and she INSISTED that it was a golden retriever. We said, "It's a lab." "NO IT'S A GOLDEN RETRIEVER! I have the papers!!" "Ok, it's a Golden Labrador Retriever, but it's not the same thing as a Golden Retriever." "NO, it's a GOLDEN RETRIEVER!!"

Ok lady...apparently you want to pay $33 instead of $24?? Your choice!

LOL that was so funny, thanks for sharing it!
the last one about the mechanic was hilarious!

:D :D :D So funny, thanks for sharing. :D :D

Whoa what major idiots!

http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/rotfl.gifThose were great!
I know all about dealing with the public and their stupid questions!

Those are so funny. In the restaurant business, we deal with all kinds. I used to work in a sports bar, and we had 2 sizes of burgers, 4 ounce and 8 ounce. When I would ask if they would like the 8 ounce for only a dollar more, I got such blank stares--"well, how big is it?" (8 ounces) "is that bigger than the 4 ounce?" (yes, 8 is bigger than 4, in fact it is double!!).
I deal with so many moronic questions it's not even funny.

That was funny! Thanks for the laugh!:D

Yes, people say some weird things - myself included. I try to be polite and at least half way cheerful to clerks, waiters etc. and also guilty of not paying proper attention to what they say.

Thankyou! I have an American colleague here and I am proud to be able to send him jokes in his language:D

When I had Shaianne, my fawn colored greyhound (RB) and I took her to the vet the kid that was giving my bill, had to enter all the info new into the computer. He was entering dogs name and breed and he looked over the counter at her and typed in Golden Retriever. The next time I went the girls that work in there flipped out, "She NOT a GR!!"
I was like "Well, I saw the mistake and they were busy and I didn't say anything" They said "Oh next time correct us!! "
A couple days ago, I had a lady I was doing xrays on, she was pretty strange anyway and she was stinky. And I xrayed her foot, told her that I didn't see anything really obvious so she will have to wait until the doctor reads them, I had her wait in the waiting room while I copied other films for her, and when I took them to her, she says "well did you see anything" I said " on what?" she says "my foot xrays" I said "UUMMM no I told you that 5 min ago
You have to wait until the dr. looks at them." Then her husband says, "Well, should she wrap it? And what Kind of pain medicine should she take?"
UMMMM DO I LOOK LIKE A DOCTOR?? Then I told her to take probably Aleve or Advil, she said "Well, the doctor gave me a perscription of Darvaset, will that work?" ggggggrrrrr :mad: :mad: :rolleyes:
Hmmm over the counter vs. perscription, which would YOU chose??

Some of you sound like your in need of a job change.

ROTFLMAO Sorry I just think these are soooooooo funny - I've given myself hiccups with laughing!! Many thanks to you all.
I needed a good laugh.
Lynne
:D

Pretty funny, but that first one - I have been the cashier asking someone to sign their credit card! We are not allowed to accept unsigned cards as payment, so I have to ask them to sign it in my presence. (I wouldn't be so dumb as to then compare the signature on the sales slip, since obviously it would be an exact match.) Then I have to ask for something else with their signature on it, to make sure it's really their signature and credit card. To me, an idiot is someone who has an unsigned credit card on them - just asking for it to be stolen and the signature forged on it! (I had one lady thank me the other day for noticing that it wasn't signed - she said she had used it for weeks and nobody else had said anything!)

As far as the job change - it's hard to find a job where you won't have to deal with a single other human being - so we just laugh off the stress of dealing with boneheads!

HAHAHA OMG THOSE ARE SO FUNNY!!! I like the one about the power strip!

I've heard those before, they are so funny!

LOL LOL I can totally relate. I have so many "close encounters of the idiot kind" that I've just lost count! :eek: LOL LOL

I'll share one of my most memorable encounters:
When I was in college, I would come home during the summer break and I was lucky enough to intern with Cummins Engine, every summer.
Anyway, the first summer I worked there, I would be put on simple help-desk calls if all the regulars were busy. So, a call came in about a lady having trouble with her mouse. They figured they would just have me go and look to make sure it was plugged in. It took me forever to find her, because she actually had an office down in "the basement" level of the building, directly beneath the cafeteria. I guess she was in charge of finance, or she dealt in some way with the money from the cafeteria, I guess. There was a big safe in her office too. So, I went in and looked at her and told her my name and said I was there to help with her mouse problem. She said ok, and moved from her seat so I could sit down. I was looking around, and didn't see the mouse anywhere. Puzzled by this, I looked at her and asked where it was. She pointed under the table. The mouse was on the floor under the table! Of course, I can't laugh and say...what the heck are you doing? So, I had to bite my lip and put the mouse on the desk, then I preceeded to show her how to use the mouse for about an hour! :eek: LOL LOL

I still can't believe that something like that actually happened, without it being a joke! LOL LOL

LOL:D those are all really funny.

*LOL*
Karen

I am not going to get started ..... This thread would be 1000 pages long. In my position at work I go home and feel like the smartest person ever.. and I don't think it's because the drivers are dumb (I work in a the shipping receiving office at Nestle) but they would rather get mad and throw a fit instead of listening to instructions.

We have a security gate and when the drivers drive in they pass two signs on the way to the gate that tell them to use the house phone then...... they pass the house phones... if they ignore all these they come to the gate with a sign (as big as they are ... i'm not kidding) that give them insturctions to use the code they get from talking to us at the house phone to open the gate and what to do after that. About 80% of the drivers drive right up to the gate and hold the buzzer down to open the gate..... then when we tell them they have to back up and use the house phone they get mad.

Oh they stories I could tell... :rolleyes: