A Big Weekend ahead...

I was just wondering if you could say a little prayer for us...I'm pretty nervous about tomorrow and this coming weekend. I am going to be meeting up with my brother whom I haven't seen (or spoken to) for over 5 years. I am really nervous about it, and there will be a lot of swallowed pride, and bridges to be mended on both sides. I spoke to him on the phone 2 nights ago for the first time, and I didn't even remember what his voice sounded like. :( I just hope that everything goes OK, and that we will be able to get acquainted again without stupid pride getting in the way. I am getting all shaky just thinking about it.

I hope thigns go well. Give Malone a hug before you go. I'm glad you guys are getting together and trying to mend things. Good luck and try to relax some, go play some ball with Malone in the yard.

Ash

Its wonderful that you are meeting your brother again. Brothers and sisters are VERY close family members, and there shouldn't be any hard feelings between them, (even that I know some are wierd). I suggest that you meet with love, forget about problems of the past, and become as close to each other as brothers and sisters are supposed to be. Also, try not to argue. If he provokes an argument, try hard to change the subject, let him know that you are siblings and shouldn't have any hard feeling for each other. Good luck and let us know how it goes!

I think Anna is going with an open mind and an open heart so don't automatically think she is going to argue. She is an adult and will act accordingly I am sure.

Good Luck Anna, we are here if you need us. You will be in our prayers! ;):)

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Originally posted by shais_mom
I think Anna is going with an open mind and an open heart so don't automatically think she is going to argue. She is an adult and will act accordingly I am sure.

Good Luck Anna, we are here if you need us. You will be in our prayers! ;):)

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I did not automatically think she's going to argue. :rolleyes: I KNOW she's going with an open mind and heart and I KNOW she's a great person and will do well. That was not my intention at all. Since, it seems from their post, that she and her brother have not had much contact for 5 years for whatever reason, I think this is a brave and courageous step on her behalf, and I was saying that if her brother argues (not assuming that he will), I was just giving her a friendly advise to deal with it with patience, since I know it can be hard. My dad doesn't have the best of relations with one of his sister, and although he tried many times to make it up, that argument's on her side, although I WISH they would make it up. It hard to believe that I've seen my own aunt JUST once and that I barely know her. I wish that no sibling would ever have to go through such relations (like my dad and aunt) but sometimes it happens and its just very sad. :( Good luck Cookiebaker! I hope you didn't mind anything I said as I said it with the most sincere intentions. You know you are one of my favorite PT'ers. :)

Good luck this weekend!! My sis and I aren't very close, but we do talk. My mother and I are not on good terms, and I will be very nervous when the time comes for she and I to talk it all out. Have a good weekend--let us know how it goes!!

Thank you so much, guys!

No offense taken Popcornbird. It's just a really difficult situation...things were so very ugly when he left. :eek: I hope that this time we can all rise above that which is immature & petty.

Thank you Staci for the reminder to keep an open heart and mind.

Ack it's today....:rolleyes:

Just wanted to say good luck again. And don't worry things will go fine ::hug::.

Ash

Oh, good luck Anna, hope you reunion goes well. I will be thinking positive thoughts and you both will be in my prayers.

Chris

I couldn't immagine to not see my sister or brother for 5 years. I am sorry you had to be through this.
I argue with them sometimes, but the next minute we're friends again. I wish everyone had the same luck with brothers and sisters as I have.
Good luck, I am sure everything will be ok. :)

I hope everything goes well. ;)

I have to go to school now, but I'll get back to here later!

Dear Anna,

I wish you the best of luck. I'll have you in my prayers, I know HE'LL be in the midst of you, when that 'reunion' happens...

A friend of mine e-mailed this to me few months ago. I always make it a point to keep a copy of all e-mails that are very inspirational... This has helped me Anna, I truly hope, it helps you too..

Best Regards,
Rosebel

WALKING IN STRIDE WITH GOD

> The most creative power given to the human spirit is
> the power to heal
> the wounds of a past it cannot change.
>
> We do our forgiving alone inside our hearts and
> minds;
> what happens to the people we forgive depends on
> them.
> The first person to benefit from forgiving is the
> one who does it.
>
> Forgiving happens in three stages:
> we rediscover the humanity of the person who wronged
> us;
> we surrender our right to get even; and
> we wish that person well.
>
> Forgiving is a journey; the deeper the wound, the
> longer the journey.
> Waiting for someone to repent before we forgive
> is to surrender our future to the person who wronged
> us.
>
> Forgiving is not a way to avoid pain but to heal the
> pain.
> Forgiving someone who breaks a trust does not mean
> that
> we give him his job back.
>
> Forgiving is the only way to be fair to ourselves.
> Forgivers are not doormats; to forgive a person is
> not a signal
> that we are willing to put up with what he does.
> Forgiving is essential; talking about it is
> optional.
>
> When we forgive, we set a prisoner free and discover
> that the prisoner we set free is us.
>> >
When we forgive we walk in stride with the forgiving GOD

Good luck! I am so fortunate that my brother and I are best friends. We're actually having lunch today together!

Anna,

Have a wonderful time and just be yourself. 5 years is alot of catching up. But life is too short to hold grudges. I wish you much luck and peace in your reconciliation.

I believe your brother misses your relationship with him as much as you do. You will be amazed at the emotional healing that occurs when you make the decision to forgive and move on.

Please let us know how it goes. You will be in my thoughts and prayers! ;)

I'm back,
As I said before, I hope everything goes well. I know this sin't quite the same, but my cousin lives in Florida, and I'm lucky if I ever see her! She's still my favorite cousin, and even though when we first meet again we're kind of shy, but it all turns out good and we have tons of fun! I hope this helps, don't worry, I bet it will go well. ;)

I just wanted to wish you the best of luck visiting your brother this weekend. I couldn't even inmagine not seeing my brother for 5 years. We have a pretty good realtionship right now. Of course my brother is 17. So who knows what will happen after he graduates from highschool which will be next year.

I remember about 3 and 1/2 years ago when I moved in with Rob. My parents hated it. They didn't talk to me for about a month that was bad enough. I couldn't even talk to my brother. I didn't even talk to one of my aunt's (she was more like a sister)for about 6 months after that. That is how mad she was at me.

Again I wish you best of luck and you will be in my thoughts and prayers this weekend. Hope everything goes well.

Good luck!

I've never even seen my aunt's youngest daughter (the one my dad has problems with). I think its been 10 years or more since I saw them but my dad saw her two years ago at his other sister's house. They talked but not like brother and sister. Its truely sad that I don't know my own cousin. Its just ridiculous. :rolleyes:

Good luck. I hope everything goes well and you end up on good terms again. It's hard mending relationships, but if you both really want it, it will happen. And it sounds like you both really want it which is why you're meeting.

Good luck!

I hope you can patch things up with your brother.

I only have one sibling (a brother) and can't imagine what it would be like to not talk to him for 5 years.
It will all work out in the end, I'm sure of it because we will all have you in our thoughts and prayers:D

Take Care & have fun!
Your friend
Anna

Anna,
I don't know why you are meeting up with your brother, whose idea it was, or what created the gap to begin with. I hope things go well. But, more importantly, I hope you find peace or answers that will help you go forward with things, either with him or without him. Life is so hard, and while it is "too bad" you aren't or weren't in a close relationship, maybe there is a reason. I hope you get from this meeting that which you need, let go of that which causes you turmoil, and learn something about yourself.
Good luck,
Johanna

wishing you the best of luck! hope all goes well :) just relax and appreciate the chance your getting. some people never make up. take care :D

Anna,
I can feel your pain and apprehension. I haven't seen my brother in 2 years. He is 22 years old and lives in the same state. It was his decision to separate himself from my parents, thus leaving me as well. He didn't even come to my wedding. Its very strange, when we are together, we are very close and have fun. We understand eachother and I have no idea why he wont contact me. The pain I feel, as I'm sure you as well, really hurts.

I just know it will work out. You both care about eachother, and thats enough. I love what Rosebel posted, it really is true if you open your heart to forgiveness.

I'll be praying for you and your brother.

Take care. :)

Thank you so much everyone for your warm wishes and kind words. It was so weird...almost like greeting a long lost stranger or something! We stayed up pretty late last night catching up, and mostly we have kept conversation to the present...not going over those upsetting things that happened a long time ago.

Tonight we are also meeting up with my parents and my other brother...this is the first time the entire family will be together since June, 1996. It will be so nice...we used to be such a tight knit family...I've really missed it!!!!

And thank you, Rosebel for the poem...that is exactly what I needed and I am printing it out and posting it on the fridge.

I'm so glad things went well. That's great that your whole family will be together again after all these years! Congrats! I wish you and your family very close relationship in the future.

I'm glad everything went well!:)

I am a little late here and I see now that I have read through the whole thread that everything has worked out well. It looks like you are back on the right track and I wish you and your family the best for continued healing.

My brother's wife and I went many years without speaking. She chewed me out on the phone one day for something over which I had totally no control. We were never really 'best buddies' so when she hurt my feelings I just backed off and it was pretty easy to do since we live 50 miles from each other. I always felt that if I should run into her I could be cordial but the relationship really took a big hit as a result of the tongue lashing she gave me. Well, about 2 years ago she was diagnosed with cancer and last year she told my nephew that if I would write her and apologize she would also since she wanted to set things right as a result of her illness. Even though I was the one who had been hurt I wrote that letter. Shortly after that she wrote me back thanking me and the hatchet has been buried. I have since spoken to her on the phone numerous times and, although we are still not close, it is a good feeling to know that we have put that all behind us. I wish you the best, and hope that your family can recapture that closeness! Rosebel, I liked that poem too.

Anna, I'm glad to hear that all went well with your reunion. I hope you all have a great day together!

Glad to hear things are going well. Hope it continues as your whole family reunites today!

Cookiebaker, such courage to get together and to confront something that has been on your mind for years.

I think family is very important, very, very important. I also know that sometimes fences (???) cannot be mended but they can be taken down. So, keeping the relationship at a certain distance until and when you feel comfortable enough to resume what we all think should be a "normal" relationship, is something that you must deal with. As long as you are at peace with your decision it will be good. If it turns out to be more work and trouble, then put the relationship in a place where it works for you. Not any brother and sister, or friend or relative HAS to be in your life. It would be nice, but not necessary to have a continued relationship if it is filled with pain and or guilt.

I truly hope you had a wonderful time reuniting with your brother and that it is one prgressive relationship from here on out.

I am not an authority on this topic - this is just my opinion.

SAS

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Originally posted by sasvermont
. If it turns out to be more work and trouble, then put the relationship in a place where it works for you. Not any brother and sister, or friend or relative HAS to be in your life. It would be nice, but not necessary to have a continued relationship if it is filled with pain and or guilt.

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Slightly off topic, but since CB has gone to see her brother, I feel ok posting my thoughts...I agree with SAS...too often we go on with toxic relationships because we think we SHOULD. Just because it is family, or a long time friend, or (fill in the blank) doesn't mean it has to continue....

Whew everybody has gone home, and it's just us again. It's a relief in a way. We had a nice time, and it was definitely a start on a road towards healing. My whole family drives me crazy sometimes :rolleyes:

SAS, I really appreciated what you said:

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I also know that sometimes fences (???) cannot be mended but they can be taken down. So, keeping the relationship at a certain distance until and when you feel comfortable enough to resume what we all think should be a "normal" relationship, is something that you must deal with

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That is so true. I think that this is where we are at...no fences, no hard feelings (exactly) but not quite a normal relationship either. Trust is built over time, not overnight. So thank you for the helpful comments...they really help me to keep things in perspective.

I didn't see this thread til now...glad things went well. I know you were nervous, I bet he was also ?

Glad it worked out. I am sure your brother is too!! Thanks for keeping us posted. ;)