Weighty topic

I have struggled with my weight for years - up and down like an elevator since I was 19. My thinnest days saw me in a size 10. I mostly live in a world between a 16 and 22. I currently am working really hard to get back to the 16. I'll honestly be happy if I could just stay there.

Anyway, hubby is over 430 pounds. He is in complete and total denial about what he eats, how much, and when. I can not talk to him about what he eats. It starts major fights. We've talked to he counselor about it and the therapist tells him I'm only concerned about him and mention food so that I can have him around for a long time. He knows I am not judging him.... but emotionally he goes to a place where reason no longer reigns.

This morning I made a completely innocent comment about how I'm working hard on losing weight and how I am proud of myself. He said, "and you think I'm not trying?!" Where exctly did I mention him? He flew into a major hissy fit, complete with pouting.

Why is talking about weight so hard? I myself shut down when people lecture me on what to eat. I especially HATE it if I'm enjoying something and a well meaning person tell me all the evils of the food I decided to eat.

What is your hot botton on weight? Is there a way someone can bring it up without hurting/insulting you? I honestly don't know if there is away someone could bring up my weight without me being over emotional. I know what to do. I've lost the weight many times over. Lost 50-70 pounds at a time. But it always creeps back up. and I do it again. But I do it for myself based on my inner need.... not because anyone else spoke to me.

I think weight is just one of those topics that it's really hard not to offend people when you talk about it... Weight loss is also very hard, and I commend you on your goal to keep trying and keep losing the weight.

It bothers me when people try to tell me "you need to lose weight, you shouldn't be eating that, etc." just because, I'm not going to lose the weight for them, I'd do it for myself. It's a decision you have to make yourself, not one that someone else needs to make for you.

And a lot of people have no idea how hard it is to struggle with weight, and they can't possibly understand, so they think it's okay to bring other people down and tell them they need to lose weight.

Anyway, good luck with your goal weight, and I hope your husband is able to lose some too. He shouldn't be so defensive, maybe you all could work together and lose the weight.

I'm not one to have a problem with being overweight, since I am on the opposite end of the scale. I am also not one to lecture anyone about being overweight, but your husband is living very dangerously by carrying that much weight around. A story if I may...........

My son is 42 and was quite overweight. He was always a big eater and a lover of junk food. That, coupled with the hours he works and he most always ate a big dinner quite late, and then got no exercise before going to bed, the pounds piled up. He knew he had to lose because his back and knees were bothering him, he was always tired and wasn't sleeping well, and the pounds wouldn't come off no matter how he adjusted his eating habits. He also suffered from very severe sleep apnea, and was NOT breathing almost as much as he was breathing. Really pretty scary results came back from the sleep study. He wants to be a grandfather some day, so he knew he had to do something, or he'd never live that long.

A year ago he looked into the lap band procedure, and after many months of tests and seminars and psychological and nutritional counseling that is all required before the surgery, he had it done last September. The doctor's goal for his patients is to lose one pound per week in the first year. My son started out at 278 lbs and he's about 5'9". In the first 14 weeks, he lost 51 pounds, and as of a week ago, it was up to 63 pounds that he has shed. He goes back today for another weigh-in/checkup. His knees and back no longer bother him, and he no longer uses the CPAP - and he looks fantastic!!!! He wants to get to about 200 lbs, since he is big boned anyway, and he wouldn't look good weighing much less than that.

So his has been a success story, tho not everyone has such good results. You have to want to lose to make it work - it's no magic pill.

If you have medical insurance and it covers this procedure, you might want to consider it - especially for hubby. Most insurance companies do pay for this procedure now. In the long run, it's saving them money, since a lot of very serious medical issues can be avoided when a person is at a healthy weight.

Good luck

I agree about the lapband but also it may be better if your the one doing the cooking to just start gradually cooking healthier meals or suggesting healthier options and inviting hubby for a walk etc. That much weight is pretty dangerous and you do want to keep him around.

My brother did great on Weight Watchers and has kept most of the weight off for over a year. He said he gained about 8 or 10 pounds. I think he lost around 60 or 70 originally though.

I was on Weight Watchers once and did fine while I really stuck to it. Then I quit going and gained all the weight back and more. I am going to try it again because it's either that or a Lap Band. I know 3 people who have had obesity surgery. One is doing well, one has a chronic anemia and the other has malabsorption syndrome (she had a surgical gastric bypass, though- not a Lap Band). I need to lose 100-130 pounds so cross your fingers for me. I love chocolate, bakery, cookies, bread, pasta, and all the stuff I should not be eating.

It always bothers me to hear people say "You've lost weight! You look great!"... Um, thanks, I guess I didn't look great before just because my weight was up. :rolleyes:

Can you just ask him to take walks with you to keep you company, exercise with you and things like that to get him moving more? That might help him, and motivate him more than talking ... Explain that it would be a big help to YOU if he'd walk with you ... so he feels like it's not about him ...

Struggling with weight issues stinks. It seems the issues are rarely about the food itself. It is about why we eat, or overeat. Its not about wanting to be healthier, or knowing what is wrong with a bag of BBQ chips (guilty as charged here), it is about not addressing the underlying reasons we eat. For comfort, for stress, for whatever it might be for the person.

Catnapper, you and I both know your husband deciding to get up and go for a walk with you is not going to do much for his weight. 430 is beyond dangerous. Heck, there is a TV show about a 600 pound person (I forget the name). He is a health risk just waiting to explode. Why aren't the doctors addressing this? Why hasn't surgery been suggested? He could walk every day for the next year and it would probably do him more harm than good, all that stress on the joints, and asking the heart to maintain the blood flow.

On one hand, losing weight is as simple an equation as anything else. What goes in has to be less than what your body puts out, to the tune of 3500 calories for each pound you seek to lose. Really, eating 1000 calories of chips or 1000 calories of nutritional food doesn't make much of a difference when you are talking straight calories. One CAN become overweight on healthy food...figuring out WHY one is eating him/herself into an early grave is much more complex.

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Originally Posted by Cataholic

Catnapper, you and I both know your husband deciding to get up and go for a walk with you is not going to do much for his weight. 430 is beyond dangerous. Heck, there is a TV show about a 600 pound person (I forget the name). He is a health risk just waiting to explode. Why aren't the doctors addressing this? Why hasn't surgery been suggested? He could walk every day for the next year and it would probably do him more harm than good, all that stress on the joints, and asking the heart to maintain the blood flow.

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Getting him to go for a walk can help motivate him to want to lose weight in other ways, too. That's why I suggested it. It might be uncomfortable, or out of breath easily, which then brings up "well, if you weigh less ..." It was not meant to imply him going for walks will do the trick, but it could start the ball rolling. Science has determined it is important that you get moving, and stay "in shape" even if you are technically overweight.

Catnapper's husband is not technically overweight. He is beyond morbidly obese. Telling him to get up and walk is akin to telling someone with no legs to walk. It is probably very unsafe, and not going to make a hill of beans difference to him. He could walk a full year's worth of walks and probably recognize minimal weight loss, which only adds to his frustration level, his commitment, etc, not to mention possibly places him at increased health risk. I am thinking he probably knows he would feel better/do better at a lighter weight.

430 pounds does not call for a Polly Anna response.

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Originally Posted by Cataholic

Catnapper's husband is not technically overweight. He is beyond morbidly obese. Telling him to get up and walk is akin to telling someone with no legs to walk. It is probably very unsafe, and not going to make a hill of beans difference to him. He could walk a full year's worth of walks and probably recognize minimal weight loss, which only adds to his frustration level, his commitment, etc, not to mention possibly places him at increased health risk. I am thinking he probably knows he would feel better/do better at a lighter weight.

430 pounds does not call for a Polly Anna response.

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I disagree. He can obviously right now walk around his own home. Yes, he is morbidly obese. Yes, were I Kim, I'd make sure my CPR certification is up to date. But doing something - a simple walk, is better than nothing, don't you think?

My sister has had the lap band surgery. It did a great job for her. But she had to go through months of meetings and counseling before they would even do the surgery, and now has to be very precise about what and when she eats. It's not a magic bullet, by any means, and one has to have the proper frame of mind to get that process started, and it seems like right now he's in a bad place. I stand by my suggestion, and do not think it Pollyanna-like.

My sister by the way, is very pleased. At one point she said, "Let's see, by now I have lost ... 110 or - 'Hey! I've lost a whole Diane!" (Our teenage niece, who weighed about that at the time!) And we no longer fear her dropping dead of a heart attack at any moment, as we did for years. I am obese, myself, and need to work on losing weight more.

Catnapper, you have a kindred soul here with the weight issues, I tend to the larger side myself. I have lost, at the most, 40 pounds at a time, but I have gained 30 back. I am currently an 18. Weight will probably always be sensitive with me as well. My husband is overweight, but nowhere near yours; he is currently working very hard, exercising and eating better, he's lost about 20 pounds. I should be working out with him - but I'm not.

I'm glad you mentioned counseling exists with you and your husband; that denial of his morbid obesity needs to be addressed. I'm sure there are other issues beyond weight. I wish you both a lot of luck with it and I think as soon as he has a breakthrough in that area he can have a breakthrough with his weight. Try to walk with him, talk with him on those walks, and see where it leads.

Good luck!

There was a show about a woman that went from over 700 lbs to now 250 or something like that I can't remember her name but it was about the small steps, small walks, etc mild excercize, one step at a time.

Of course swimming is probably better if possible no stress on the joints etc.

Many people are extremely sensitive about their weight. I completely understand you mentioning it to your husband, since his weight is now life threatening.

I'm sensitive about my weight. I am overweight, not by much, but it is extremely frustrating because I LOVE food, and I just can't seem to lose any weight because I can't change my habits. My junior year of high school I lost 30 lbs, from 170 to 140. I felt great, I could finally fit in cute clothes without feeling self conscious. I felt energetic, I could run up stairs without getting tired. Since I started college nearly two years ago, I have gained 25 lbs back and it seems to still be creeping up. My fat jeans are now skinny jeans and it's frustrating and depressing.

My fiance does say things to me about what I eat and it pisses me off. I know he means well, but it hurts my feelings! Does he not realize I already HATE the way I look? When he says things like "Why don't we start going to the gym together", or "Why don't we start eating healthier", it makes me less sensitive because he uses the word "we". I don't know why that helps. Not that he needs to lose weight.... he could eat a whole cow and still look great....

I wish luck to you with your weight loss, and I hope your husband realizes he needs to do something about his too. Try to get him to exercise with you and eat better.

I can relate to the weight issues. I've always been battling it. I did WW years ago and did okay with it. My friend and I just joined again six weeks ago. I have to say I LOVE it. I think it's important to do it with someone and to do the meetings. It makes you accountable to someone other than yourself. It's much easier than counting calories as there are some calories that are better than others. WW takes fiber, fat, protein & carbs and assigns a point value to the food. You can then spend your points each day and some extra ones for the week for special occasions. It's amazing when you are conscience of what you put in your mouth! You can pretty much have anything you want to eat but you have to budget your points. Portions are also a revelation! A normal size portion is generally a cup. A restaurant will generally give you 3-4 servings per any given meal! It's ridiculous.
All that being said, I would never bring up or mention anyone's weight or eating habits. It's a personal thing. I applaud you for trying to save your hubbies life. At least you know you are trying. I lost 60 lbs about 10 years ago. The only thing that got me there was being sick and tired of being sick and tired:rolleyes: There's nothing anyone can say or do that will change that. It has to be a decision made by the person themselves. No amount of comments or suggestions will get you there until you get yourself to the point where you're ready to deal with it.
I personally would do anything to avoid surgery, needles etc but that's just me. My suggestion would be to find a friend, get to WW and work on your own weight lose. Maybe if you just tell your husband, you can't have certain things in the house because they are too high in points for YOUR consumption, he'll get inspired and join you. I absolutely know that I'll be counting points for the rest of my life. I just have to be diligent about tracking them and eat mindfully.
Check out WW. They give you a free meeting so you can see if that's the way to go for you.

I don't talk about this with most people. I do talk about it on a weight loss forum I'm a member of, and my husband and my best friend know the info I'm about to share... but this is what I've done since I was diagnosed as diabetic. I've had numerous health issues over the last decade that have caused a bunch of surgeries and medications that caused me to gain weight. I didn't ever realize how much I had gained until they told me I was diabetic in January 2011. At that point, I was up to 283 lbs. Well, without having any weight loss surgery, in the time since I've managed to lose quite a bit of weight. In fact, this morning the scale said 217.6. That is a 65.4 lb loss in just over 13 months. No it hasn't been easy, no it hasn't been fun. It's not fast, either. Yeah, I could go on a super low carb diet and lose mass amounts of weight in a short amount of time, but then I think the chances of me keeping it off would be much less. So for me, slow & steady is how I'm doing it.

For me, the only thing that got me to wake up and start losing weight was the dr telling me I was diabetic. You know, they never even said to lose weight. They just said to monitor my glucose and eat better. I've done the rest. It's something I needed to do, but until I *HAD* to and got a wake up call, I just didn't even realize it was at the point it was.

I hope your husband doesn't get to a point where he gets one of those wake up calls like I did. I hope he can get to a point where he just WANTS TO... and doesn't HAVE TO. I hope you guys find a way to make the changes you need to. It's really not an easy thing to do. We get in a sedentary lifestyle and it's hard to break the patterns... move a little more & eat a little better. Drink a little more water, and a little less soda (or none at all in my case).

Anyway, just sharing what I am doing to work on losing weight. It's a very slow process. But I feel confident that the way I'm going about it will be the right way for me to keep the weight off.

I think the fact that he is in denial is the whole problem. Maybe if you suggest doing things together it'd be easier on him? Or maybe just tell him what you told us...that you know this upsets him but you are just concerned for him. That's truly extremely dangerous and I hope he finds some solution to it before something serious to make him wake up.

I agree, weight is ALWAYS a sensitive topic - especially to those who KNOW they're overweight and secretly probably feel guilty about it like your husband.

When I was 13/14/15 I used to weight 150-155 pounds which was BAD because not only did I felt fat, but I have a heart condition. My Cardiologist told me that's what I should weigh as an adult. Now down to 135-140 pounds I still feel fat and guilty sometimes..I really just want to be 120 lbs. But I've gained alot of muscle in the last year of working out and everything, I've finally started wearing bikinis, which was a big deal 'cause I never felt skinny enough for that. Not to mention I hated the scar I have from Open Heart Surgery and I still do...but hey, it's my badge of courage now. :D Maybe it's ugly, but I don't care anymore! Lately I have been so busy with school and work that it has gotten away from my gym time. I STILL count calories, which I've been doing since September and it helps ALOT to see what you're eating. I am not the most confident person in the world and I'll probably never be extremely happy with my weight, even if I did get to 120 lbs..

The bulk of my husband's weight is emotional. He's the definition of emotional eater. After having recently eaten a meal with his father and sister, I can completely see why he ate himself happy --- his family is as dysfunctional as they come! We were talking about the weight of my neice who is 10. Sister in law is taking her to a pediatric nutritionist. SIL and I were in complete agreeance on its not a diet, but a way of life. We agreed to never make her feel guilty for eating, or that anything is wrong with her... to teach her to make healthy choices and to learn when to allow herself a treat. I shared the story of my family growing up, and how my grandmom was naturally thin, so she didn't understand how her children and grandchildren struggled. She would anylize everything I ate and compare me to skinny strangers, and I became a closet binger. I told of how I would leave after a short grandmom visit and stop at the bakery and eat 6 donuts while crying as I drove.

My father in law decided that was hoopla and started berate everything everyone had on their plate (never mind the fact that his plate mirrored everyone's) He told hubby that Omar the tent maker must be on vacation (because hubby needs new clothes). I walked out of that meal so very mad. And everyone waas soooo polite and hubby just sat there without standing up for himself or anyone else. I wanted to throw my fork at the man!

He used to call Cindy (the one who recently overdosed) Pudge McGee instead of her real name. He tells my kids to, "Stay skinny and not get fat like your dad." EVERY TIME HER SEES THEM. The girls are both size 8 and very athletic. My son is a walking match stick because he runs marathons on a weekly basis. The man is seriously mean.Yet somehow, nobody is allowed to be mean in return to his comments, nor is anyone allowed to stand up for themselves. Hubby stood up for himself about 6 months ago and the entire family told him to call and appologise - it took 3 months for hubby to finally get the family to forgive him for standing up for himself! :eek:

So, as you see, me mentioning weight is taboo. He knows I'm talking, but really hears his dad.

He is working hard on losing weight. At least in his mind, its hard. I am convinced he's in denial about what he eats. He does keep a food journal and thats helped a lot. But he underestimates how much fat/calories he's consumed in a single meal. So yes, you could say, "all I had was a hamburger." But was it a single hamburger or one of those Red Robin type burgers loaded with junk? The same could be said for salad. Just because you ate chicken on a bed of lettuce doesn't necessarily mean it was healthy once you add a cup of dressing, a ton of cheese, croutons, etc. But I know from my own experience I can not measure what he eats or tell him not to. I have put my foot down regarding soda. I found his stash of empty Coke bottles the other day. I made a joke of it, but I did remind him that its the one thing he promised the doctor he'd cut out.

He is also getting all the testing done to have gastic bypass type surgery. It'll be sometime during the summer (hopefully) but htey won't do it if he can not demonstrate that he has the ability to lose weight on his own. Then he also needs to lose weight so that he will be able to safely undergo surgery. The odd thing is, that at his weight ALL his tests come back beautifully. His sugar levels? Perfect. Cholesterol? Could be better. Heart? All channels clear.

As for walking with me? I try. He can't go more than two blocks. I take him to stores with me just to get him out and walking. He has to push the cart for support, and I can't be in the store more than 15 minutes before his back cramps up and he has to sit. I took him to the carpet store yesterday - I'm getting FREE CARPET!!! - and he could only look for ten minutes before finding a seat. I made him come to me every time I found something instead of enabling him to sit the entire time.

Whew - I wrote a book. Sorry :o

WOW I am a bit amazed at the responses. Here you have made it clear weight is a sore spot with your husband, and everyone is suggesting how YOU can get him to start losing. NO WAY JOSE!

You can only change you and set the example. He has to want to change. I don't know what type of therapy both of you are in (and no I don't want to know). Hubby needs to decide for himself he has a problem and has to address it. At his weight, a good first step for him, when he is ready, is a therapist who works with this sort of issue; there is an underlying cause making him have such low self esteem, and having to console himself with food. Once he works on that the weight becomes secondary and will slowly SLOWLY come off.

I am currently over weight. Two years back at my annual physical my doctor told me I needed to address this and offered an appt with a nutritionist. I clearly remember telling her, "I know this is a problem, but I'm just not ready to deal with it." Last Fall, for reasons I can't even explain, I was ready. No I didn't go to the nutritionist; I've started exercising, and lost 13 pounds. Not earth shattering, but I'm on the way.

I say this to explain that I do have some idea what I'm talking about; and it is only going to further stress your marital relationship for you to constantly bring it up, suggest things for him to do and such. He is not ready. YOU can do things, YOU can try things, YOU can explore this option or that, all FOR YOU. But now, I think he knows quite well that his weight worries you.

Good for you to be working on your issue and making progress. Keep it up!

I'm certainly not an expert on weight loss, but I think that eating a good healthy breakfast would be a good way of starting to lose weight. How about making porridge with half milk half water, every morning - put a bit of dried fruit in, like cranberries, that will make it a little more interesting. Also, rye bread is a good start of the day - with a slice of cheddar (perhaps you can even bake your own). Home baked rye bread is delicious, I swear! These foods are filling and you simply won't get the urge to eat, until lunch!

I have a cousin who was married to an extremely overweight man, he know he had a problem, but just wouldn't stop eating junk food. She woke up one morning and found him dead next to her. I hope it won't happen to you!

Good luck! :)

Btw, have you watched any of Jamie Olivers TV shows?

It all boils down to one thing with your hubby - he has to want to do this - and stashing Cokes doesn't look like he's all too serious about it at this stage of the game. But he's a grown man, and you can't regulate what he consumes, like you can with a child. No amount of begging, pleading, reasoning, threatening, nagging or insulting (as his father does - so cruel and counterproductive!) is going to get thru to him, and probably makes him even less receptive to what he knows he should do. I suppose the only thing you can do is try to be supportive, and hope that light goes on in his head, sooner than later. I'd certainly avoid his toxic family environment like the plague too. If he can't (or won't) lose the weight, then he can't even have the surgery, so it's a vicious circle that he's running. Just out of curiosity and if you want to answer (tho don't feel obligated), is there a reason why he would be having gastric bypass rather than lap band?

And as for you, Catnapper, continue with your own quest to lose weight. I Know it's not an easy road since I have been there - I wasn't always slim. Keep eating healthy and keep moving, and I hope you reach your goal. Just maybe it will inspire hubby somewhat too.

It's like living with an active alcoholic - they are killing themselves, yet they are the only one that can decide to recover.

I spent about a dozen years in Overeaters Anonymous. You might want to look it up and show hubby the 10 questions or however many there are. Your hubby is as puzzled and hurt as anyone as to why he can't stop. You might look for a therapist that deals with Adult Children issues, since he grew up in an dysfunctional home, or look up a group in your area.

It is what's eating him, not what he's eating. The food is only a symptom.

HUGS and best of luck to your hubby!

I am sorry my reply didn't seem supportive. I did not intend to tell you how to make him lose weight. I just shared that with me, nothing worked until I had to and I was ready. Grant may be the same way. Again, sorry if I sounded preachy.

I do believe a person will only loose weight when they are ready to do it, you can't make them,and it is a very hard thing to do, as we have to eat and food is always around us.
My friend just had a fairly new procedure, the gastric sleeve, you may want to look in to that, it is supposed to be safer and better than a bypass, so far she is doing well, i cannot wait to see her ,by the time i do, i bet i won't recognise her.

You really do have my utmost understanding and empathy and i wish you both well in your efforts.:)

Catnapper- You have helped to motivate me. :) I hope you will find some comfort in knowing YOUR ability/desire to talk about this 'out loud', has motivated at least one person to do something.

Cataholic

I think that starting out w/walking every day, trying to go a little farther each day, will make you both feel better and doing it together even more so. Years ago I taught exercise classes to morbidly obese men and women, mainly women, though. The heaviest that I can recall is a woman who weighed 444 lbs. and a man who weighed 500 lbs. They both took my exercise classes. I started them out slowly and they gradually built up strength until they were able to keep up and eventually they were doing the entire class w/the others. And, believe me, I worked them hard. After a couple of years, I left teaching the class and I bumped into one of my students in a local mall. She actually broke down and cried b/c she said no one was able to get her in shape like I did. She said that she hated me during the class but after she went home and took a bath and then measured herself at the end of the week, she loved me. :D Your husband can definitely start walking and he can do some leg and arm and waist exercises while sitting, too. It can be done but I think the key is that you both should walk and work out together. Good luck. I know you can do it. Keep the faythe. :love:

Btw, the reason I told you this story is not to blow my own horn but to let you know that after a slow start these people worked out religiously and were able to get the weight off. As I said, I worked them hard and they worked me just as hard. It was good for all of us. So don't let your husband tell you that he can't do it. He absolutely can. The key is finding someone qualified to work w/him and the two of you working together. :)

One more thing: if he decides to have lap band surgery, his doctor will insist that he take off some weight before surgery and after surgery he will want your husband to exercise daily. There's no way to get around it; he must exercise.

What a crazy few days.... did you all know I work with a bunch of children posing as adults? :rolleyes:

I went to hubby's thearpist with him yesterday (we see a joint therapist and he sees one on his own - I swear by therapy for anyone who has tension or stress --- which is EVERYONE :p ) Anyway, I learned a few things, like he's keeping a food journal (which I knew) but its waaaayyyyy different than I thought it was. He enters every single thing that goes into his mouth. He cooks an egg with a pat of butter? He enters what size egg, and how much butter, and whether it was salted or unsalted butter. Its an amazing site and I joinded it last night. We went the movies with Cam tonight so I forgot about my diet with a Slushie and salted and buttered movie popcorn. :o I entered it into the website and it showed me how much fat, carbs, etc I ate today.

Anyway, he lost 3 pounds in two weeks. I do think he is trying, but I think its only a half hearted attempt. I think he is counting on the surgery to be his salvation. I just wish we could talk about weight without him reacting emotionally.

3 lbs is a great start.

Suggestion: The next time you two see the therapist, ask about dealing with the dysfunctional family Grant grew up in. I know when overeating really began in childhood and teen-hood, food was the only thing I could control. But it wound up controlling me.

I know what its like to gain weight and not be able to control it. It bothers me daily and im bitter about it.

Ive had a few people go on about my weight and how i can loose weight. I try not to snap or be rude but it just comes out with anger.

Its not my fault i was in a car accident and it buggered up my back(idiot wasnt paying attention and slammed into my stopped car at hwy speeds). I was very active before the accident and was a healthy chubby person.

Grocery shopping is a chore and i cant walk the dogs further then the back yard.

When i do too much i wont notice it then. Ill notice it when i try to get up from a chair. By try i mean greatly struggle. If i lay down in bed to read and try to get up, nothing happens. Im trapped and become very scared as my mid section is paralyzed.

I hate being a fat blob. I want to go for hikes, camping, swimming, but im scared to do any of them in fear of getting paralyzed with no one near by or in the water.

I make 80% of my meals and i eat about 1500cal/day. 2000 is too much for my size, and i rarely to never ate that much. Always somewhere between 1000-1500. Im naturally high energy. So you can imagen how crazy a puppy gets when they are on restricted movement for a few months. Try doing that to a puppy for years and see how they act.

My partner is very good to me. When i get stuck he always rushes in to help me get up or will lay with me if my back is completely paralyzed to the point i cant support myself. My legs always work, but if my back is totally gone they just cannot support any weight. Very flustering.

We are planning to buy an excercise bike next month in hopes i can use that with little issues, as it wont involve my back much. Also with it being in the house, its less scary to get stuck somewhere.

I need to loose weight as mh blood pressure is getting too high. It doesnt need medical attention yet, and i want to keep it that way.

In a way i understand your hubbies frustration.

I feel you, believe me. I have been overweight since my early 30's and am now the heaviest I've ever been in my 60's. I am a life time Weight Watcher and have lost lots of weight with them and also was on Jenny Craig twice but the weight just keeps coming back...with my help of course :( My family doesn't bring up my weight anymore, I guess they just gave up. If I complain about how hard it is to walk at times, then my sister will say it's probably my weight and she is right. I love to eat when and what I like and I know that's not a good way to live. I don't see any change for me tho in the future, I just hate to diet.