Do you hold a grudge?

Both my husband and a good friend at work (also male) are champs at holding grudges. Personally, I think it is a waste of time and energy. You have to do something really horrible for me to stay mad for more than a month or so, I just don't see the point...I have talked to some friends and have un-scientifically decided it is a guy thing. The females all seem to react as I do, flash, burn, move on. But the guys? OH NO! It is now written in stone forever and ever....

So I'm curious how other PTers feel...

I do not. And luckily neither does my boyfriend. We can argue or disagree, but then it's over and done and we move on with life. Usually if we are arguing one of us will eventually make the other laugh, so that helps too.
But even with other people I tend to not really hold grudges. I guess if you did something REALLY horrible I would.

I think I have the opposite problem. I swallow things that would be appropriate for me to get angry about, and I get mad about things I should probably let go. I have one that I have carried for a really long time, and that I'll probably never let go of.

You have to treat me pretty bad time and time again for me to hold a grudge. and even then, the grudge won't last forever.

I have a couple coworkers who hold grudges forever. We work sales, so it can get pretty messy when someone sells a customer that someone else worked with. One coworker remembers EVERY slight that has happened inthe past 4 years. He'll list customer name, their invoice number, and what they bought. ITs pretty sad that he won't let it go.

Another coworker tends to skip out of rotation (we take customers in a revolving order so that we all end up with the same number of opportunities) and she constantly ends up out of order. Yet when we point it out, she gets grumpy and won't talk to any of us for DAYS. Really? She's the one who did wrong! Yesterday was deadly quiet because two people were fighting over a sale, she was upset we told her about going out of rotation. The manager and I had a fun time laughing and entertaining ourselves while the others held their grudges.

99% of the time, no I don't hold a grudge. Cancer taught me that it is a waste of energy and time. However the one exception is my step-sister. She was champion at verbal abuse when I was growing up. I know it's been decades, but in the past I've tried to reconnect, but it's just not there. It's been over 10 years since I've seen her and that's just fine with me.

Slick, it is funny that you mention that. I think the one grudge I do hold is against my oldest sister. There are 6 of us in the family (I'm the baby) and the rest of us have agreed that evidently she lived a completely different life than we did. She has made some comments about my parents that I will honestly never forgive or forget. So I guess I do know how to hold a grudge. The fact that she lives on the other coast makes it easy, no contact.

I do not hold grudges. Life is too short.

If you do hold a grudge, grab it by the scruff of the neck, that way it cannot rear back and bite you....;)

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It is a 'guy' thing.

We'd rather yell or punch each other out and get it over with. These days you can go to jail for just mad-dogging a person, so we carry grudges.

Not generally but if someone screws me over I don't give them a second chance.

I once heard a saying like "Holding a grudge is like renting space in your heard to a tenant you don't like who's never gonna pay the bill!" I do not hold grudges, never had a cause to. Are there people I don't care if I never hear from again? Sure, but I don't think about them, or bear them any ill will.

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Originally Posted by caseysmom

Not generally but if someone screws me over I don't give them a second chance.

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I always give someone a second chance. But, I draw the line at a third.

My sister "went off" on me a few years ago and blamed me for practically everything except global warming. A few days later, I called her and she said that she needed to speak to me. She told me that someone had told her that she owed me an apology. I waited. She didn't say anything else so I guess that was my apology.

Two years ago, I took her out for her birthday. She went off on me again and this time threw my mother and brother under the bus. She deliberately tried to damage/sabotage my relationship with them. I'm done waiting for an explanation and/or apology. She is no longer a part of my life.

No, I really don't have that time or energy. I can get very upset with someone who does something really horrid but I tend to just let it out and blow off steam. I do let the person know my feelings and just get on with things. I never stay mad at anyone longer than a day...only one thing will make me stay mad and I usually just try to keep it out of my mind when all is said and done.

Yes. I kinda have a big problem with it. :rolleyes: I don't know why I just can't let stuff go.

I was in flyball YEARS ago. A guy hit my dog, and I got really upset and left right away. I e-mailed them later and they all said he didn't hit my dog, and I'm probably not cut out for flyball. I still get angry thinking about it. Lots more things as well. I really wish I could let it go, I waste so much energy thinking about things I can't do anything about.

I don't normally hold a grudge, but of course there are exceptions to every rule. If a person, by their words or deeds, causes harm of any form to another, then that is unforgivable. I have 2 such individuals in my life that have done precisely that, and they will never be forgiven for the untold misery that they caused, and as far as I'm concerned, they don't exist. And no - my ex isn't one of them. :p

Yeah.. I hold grudges against "some" people, but, otherwise, mostly I forgive and forget...well, I try my best to :o People who are I see a lot in my life, I usually don't hold grudges against them, but, people I don't get to meet much, it's easy holding grudges against them, but, I still try not to. People who I see a lot, they do some stuff that makes me feel like hating them, but, then, somewhere they do something that makes me happy and I forgive them. So, well, in conclusion, no I try not to hold grudges. I've kind of stopped holding grudges after I heard "Life's too short for holding grudges" (Thank You pomtzu for that! ;) )

No, I don't. The grudge holder is usually the one who suffers the most. I try not to be a glutton for punishment. That's not to say that I let people back into my life if they are a constant negative force. Again, not a glutton for punishment. I forgive people but don't always allow them to be a part of me anymore.

Life is WAAAAAAY to short to hold grudges. I can forgive but I cannot forget.

I unfortunately remember alot of what people say if it hurt me that much. I guess I wouldn't say I hold grudges, but I do everything in my power to try and avoid people who have hurt me in the past and so far I've been rather successful. :D

No, I do not. I'm the type of person who can get extremely angry and get into an arguement & five minutes later think "hey, this is dumb." then wind up apologizing even if I'm not the one at fault. That's probably just as bad as holding a grudge... :rolleyes:

No normally (I have bettr things to do with my energy), but there have been a few people that deserve my enmity. I work for two of them right now.

I agree with many others, holding a grudge is a waste of energy. Most of the time, the only person you're hurting is yourself.

I certainly try not to. But I don't always succeed.
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I don't hold grudges. I get mad, blow up, then it's over. :)

It depends on what happened. I dont hold a grudge for a long time UNLESS someone has really hurt me. Then I just make it my business to not see that person again... is that a grudge? Dont know but it works for me LOL.

For silly things I usually vent my anger and then I'm ok.

Holding a grudge is like renting space in your head to your ex-husband.:p

Eh. i danno. im confusing myself. LOL id like to say im a forgive an forget kind of person; but if a friend hurts me really bad,, to the point that they broke my trust then i will just stop talking to them. that a grudge?

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Originally Posted by moosmom

Holding a grudge is like renting space in your head to your ex-husband.:p

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I've been on FB too much. I started to look for a "Like" button for this post. I've never been married, but I get the reference.

I get mad, blow up, hold a grudge for a while. I try not to, though. It's hard a lot of times.