A bit of a rant...

Up front - you don't have to read this, or respond, I just need to vent.

As some of you know, I have a friend and her 17 year old daughter (my Goddaughter) staying with us. They were in a situation, needed help, I offered. They came in mid-November and will be here until the end of January.

My husband and I have lived without other humans in the house (except for occasional visitors) for a LONG time. Pinot has lived with us now for 3 1/2 years and has her own routine as well. We're all a little set in our ways.

Pinot's bed stays in a specific spot on the couch. Well, my Goddaughter and her Mom are stuck to each other like glue, and that spot is next to where the Mom sits, so the bed moves and the daughter sits there. :mad: I don't watch sci-fi; I evidently do now. My fridge and pantry are STUFFED with crap and I can't find anything. Mom smokes (no, not in the house); she smokes outside, puts the cigarette out, sticks it in her coat pocket until she gets to the trash can (in the garage). The coat REEKS. I have moved all our coats out of the front hall closet because of the smell. We have a substantially sized house. I can't get any private time (or hubby and I can't) unless we leave the house.

This is just a partial list. You don't need the rest. I just want my peaceful Saturday morning back at the moment...:( I know...I offered...

Thanks for listening. How many more weeks??

Feel free to rant. It is good to get it out. Three more weeks?

Ugh - I can relate in a way. I lived alone for a lot of years after my ex and I separated, and now that I sold my house to son and DIL (and I stayed with it as part of the agreement), there is always someone here. Not that we don't get along, because we do, but I miss my space. It's nice to have someone here, especially if an emergency would arise, and it has :eek:, and I really wouldn't want to be entirely alone anymore, but I really look forward to them leaving for work each morning so that I have that "just me" time. I know that must sound crazy to some people, but when you get used to a certain routine and way of life, then it's not always easy to adjust to a new way. It's been 5 years and I'm still adjusting. :rolleyes:

Hang in there Maggie - just a few more weeks! :D

You are a very tolerant hostess:love: Thankfully it is only 3 more weeks; otherwise I would suggest putting some rules down - if only for the sake of your sanity;)

Sidebar: Pinot will be so happy to have just her mommy and daddy back:D

Well, I have had guests that created such horror too. We have all had them. Just remember to never do that again.

Hold your breath for another few weekends and then it will be all over. It will probably take you years to get over this event. The cigarette smell alone, will be hard to get rid of totally.

So what are you going to say the next time someone asks for help? Have the name of a really good health aid/agency available for him/her!

You will go to heaven for being such a good person. The pain will ease eventually. I promise!

You will have your life back soon!

Thank you all....calming breaths....:love:

I don't know how you do it. I would have thrown them out by now or made them WANT to leave.;) It won't be much longer. :)

Even though Mike and I live together we do respect each other's privacy and preferences. Maggie, having met you and Coop I know what wonderful people you both are. You were there to help when it was needed. You're in countdown now.

Lovies to Pinot :love:

A friend of mine gave me this quote but I have no idea who first said it: "It is the duty of the host to make the guest feel at home, and the duty of the guest to remember he ISN'T." ;):D

Countdown mode...it'll be here sooner than you think!

LOVE IT Catty1!!!

It is VERY difficult when you've been living alone for so long. When we had the power outtage in October's NorEaster, I stayed with my BFF for one night and couldn't WAIT to get home, heat or not heat.

I love Susie to death (I've known her since Jr. High). We've been through a lot together. But boy, I SO love my privacy. I can sit in my underwear, watch tv and belch on my couch if I want. Don't have to worry about pissing anyone off ('cept maybe the cats).

Hang in there, girl!! Like Catmom said, you're now in countdown mode!!!

When I came to Concordia, I wasn't sure what kind of roommate I'd get. I didn't know his habits, what his history was or anything. However almost from the first handshake, I knew Barry and I would get along great! We both like old cars, we're both bachelors so we have an interest in girls, we're close in age, and in almost 21/2 years I don't think we ever argued. I won't give this guy up for anything!

Wow I give you credit for even asking them to stay, I don't know if I could do that. I have lived alone for many years and love it. My male companion (at my age I hesitate to call him a boyfriend) stays with me overnight at times but I like my alone time so it all works out. I was married many years ago and once was enough :) for me anyway.

I hope the rest of this month goes quickly for you and there are not a lot of issues. I also would put my foot down if things get out of hand. Best of luck to you.

I would start now with some changes.

Put their non-perishable foods in a box in their bedroom. Allot a small section of the fridge for their use. Put your cats bed back in its place. And schedule TV time.

Is there a TV in the guest room?

Do these step by step so that they get the idea they need to leave by the end of the month.

And post a few proverbs around the house and include the one above.

And bless you for putting up with that. I'm allergic to tobacco smoke, so any friend of mine would have to live in a pup tent out back.

I think you're way too nice. Even though she's a long time friend, I think that I would've at least had some house rules written up and signed by her. I've had horrible roommates in the past so I can kind of relate. Now that I've been living alone for quite a while, I'm so much happier. At least this will all be over soon. I'd try to do what mrspunkysmom has said so she doesn't get too comfortable in your home and then decide to stay even longer. Good luck.:)

They ARE long time friends - 30 years...we've been through a lot...not helping them in this situation is, and remains, unthinkable. Would I be more forthright next time in the rules? Absolutely! No question!

There are three TV's; one in the downstairs den, one in the main floor family room and one in the daughter's guest room (they each have their own room). We have managed to keep football sacrosanct on the main family room TV - non-negotiable.:)

Yes, we are in countdown. The hubby will be in town for a few days this week to collect one vehicle (they're moving out to New Mexico; complicated situation). The daughter will be staying with grandparents after the Mom goes out to the new property on the 24th. The plane ticket is purchased. :D

I'll let you all know when Pinot, Coop and I issue a big WHEW!!

Pinot, Maggie, and Coop, we are all sending you our very best healing energies and warm wishes as you get through the rest of this!

God bless you for helping out good friends who have been part of your lives for more than 30 years. You all will get through the rest of this. I hope you will be better friends than ever afterwards, and if such a situation should come up again you now know what ground rules to lay out from the start.

:love::love::love::love::love::love::love::love:,
Pat and the gang

Have a box or can or something with some sand/dirt in it by where she smokes and have her stick them in there instead.

I think it's too late for her coat though. It will always smell.

David and I have helped family out, and laid down ground rules the moment they stepped in the door. ;) We made it very clear, and stuck to it. I'm sorry you're having to deal with all those things, the cigarette thing would have to change for me, even if there are only a couple weeks left! Everyone should have someone like you in their lives. I've been helped out before in such a way, and believe me, I did everything I could not to disrupt my friend's routine, privacy, etc. Obviously, that can't be avoided entirely, but it can surely be attempted! Not to mention, I kept the disgusting apartment cleaner than it had ever been prior to me living there. ;) You'll be back to normal soon!

Long time good friend or not, I'd lay down the law when it comes to smoking. I don't even allow it in my garage and absolutely no ashes or butts go in my trash. The coat would be hung outside. You're a gem for doing this but they should respect the fact that you don't smoke. As everyone agrees, you're on the countdown but three more weeks of cigarette smoke smell is three weeks too much for me. Hang in there. :)

Dear Pinot,

Pee on her coat.

Love,
Bean

Dear Bean,
You crack me up!:D

Love, Pinot

I know you are no the home stretch, but suggest a "sand can" as mentioned for her cigarette butts, and a trip to the dry-cleaner for her coat. The smell of smoke is not good for anyone, ever.

One more week!! Well, one week and a day, but.... One more week!!!:D

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Originally Posted by Pinot's Mom

One more week!! Well, one week and a day, but.... One more week!!!:D

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I bet you can't wait.:D I had a lady at work come up to me and she asked me if I lived alone. I told her that I did. She then asked me if I could have a woman and her child live with me for a month. I told her no. I used to rent out my other bedroom but now I enjoy living alone way too much. Just me and my 6 cats.:)

Almost there Maggie ~~~ almost there.........:D

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Originally Posted by MoonandBean

Dear Pinot,

Pee on her coat.

Love,
Bean

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Oh what a deliciously wicked idea - go for it Pinot! LOL

The last Saturday morning with "company"! :D

It'll be very exciting to have quiet Saturday mornings again!:)

Thanks y'all for hanging in there with me!:love:

Just don't suggest membership for them on PT - for at least a month, anyway! ;):D

WHEW!!!

It's just us again! Pinot went RIGHT for her pillow bed(after an intense mousie session, a romp around the whole upstairs with no closed doors, and a lot of attention). Granted, it was a bittersweet morning; this is my friend of over 30 years leaving for New Mexico, but the three of us have our home back - that's SUCH a good thing!:D

HALLELUJAH!!!!!

Home sweet home again!

:love::love::love::love::love::love::love::love:

This is wonderful news!!!:D Enjoy your nice quiet home and your privacy too.:)

Take a few laps around the homestead in your underwear.:eek::cool:

It is always a wonderful feeling when you have your house all to yourself again, whether the visit is a few days or a few months. I was in a similar situation and felt free when a friend who had long outstayed her welcome finally left.

How great!! I bet you're estatic :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by richard

take a few laps around the homestead in your underwear.:eek::cool:

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lol :d

Ahh...all is right with the world...:) Nice quiet Saturday...:)