A little upset

Hi there. I'm sure it's not really anyone's concern about my personal life, but I'm a little upset and just need someone to talk to.

I got a call 30 mins before my shift from the owner telling me she's giving me 2 weeks notice. I've been there longer then the other 2 people so I asked why me? (She had said it's quieting down now so she doesn't need this many staff) She said I always complained about only wanting 3 shifts and no more. And that I kept saying my back hurts so that's why I can only do 3.

When I was first hired I was told I'd get the managers job when he left. Mon-fri 11-5. I was like fine. Just before he leaves a new girl is hired and when I ask her when she's working, she says mon-fri 11-5. So I'm like huh? I asked the owner and she said the new girl can only work mornings. (At this point I was working 3 days a week) So I said oh ok, I'm content working 3 shifts I just wanted to know why no one said anything different to me.

As for my back. I've had a lot of back trouble lately. Maybe a month ago I pulled something and could barely walk or move. I went to the ER and got meds and couldn't get out of bed for a week. Obviously I couldn't work. I don't see how this is my fault?

I've told the manager (not the owner) that I'd like to keep with the 3 shifts but I'll do extra if they need me to. I also told my co workers I;d like to keep 3 shifts. I also told my co workers that recently I've been having more back problems. I NEVER told this to the manager or the owner. I felt it was just talk between me and them.

As far as I can tell one of my co workers has been telling the owner everything I say...because the stuff she's accusing me of I never told the owners.

I know they're not letting me go just because they don't need the staff. I just don't understand why no one could come to me and ask me what's going on? The lady wasn't even nice about it when she called...and why couldn't she have the decency to tell me to my face? Not over the phone 30 mins before my shift! I've never been fired from a job, ever. And I've had a lot of difference jobs. I'm a very hard worker, and I did it well. I really don't feel I deserve this? I've felt they've never liked me though. Like everyone I work with goes behind my back and gossips about me.

I know this is stupid, but I've actually been depressed over this and cried a lot. I really felt my co workers were my friends and to know they must have went behind my back feels like I've been betrayed. I already have a hard time trusting people. This reminds me why.

I try to be a caring, nice, generous person. Yet stuff like this keeps happening. I'm starting to feel I must be a terrible person and just can't see it yet.

Anyway sorry to vent. I just needed someone to talk to.

Just a word of advice from an old lady that worked many, many years. Your co-workers ARE NOT your friends, and you should never confide anything to them that you don't want repeated. Most times, they will step on you to advance and get where they want to be in the company/organization, yet pretend to be your friend, agree with you when you complain about the boss, etc, and then turn around and repeat all that you have told them, and even elaborate on it by adding some "extras" that you never even said. Be cordial, small talk is fine and probably should be expected, but keep private thoughts and opinions just that - PRIVATE!!!! You need to watch out for YOU - don't make yourself an open book.

Our sympathies, and I hope there is something better for you just around the corner.

I am so sorry. This just means something better is waiting out there for you!

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Originally Posted by pomtzu

Just a word of advice from an old lady that worked many, many years. Your co-workers ARE NOT your friends, and you should never confide anything to them that you don't want repeated. Most times, they will step on you to advance and get where they want to be in the company/organization, yet pretend to be your friend, agree with you when you complain about the boss, etc, and then turn around and repeat all that you have told them, and even elaborate on it by adding some "extras" that you never even said. Be cordial, small talk is fine and probably should be expected, but keep private thoughts and opinions just that - PRIVATE!!!! You need to watch out for YOU - don't make yourself an open book.

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That's what my dad said. I just felt they were different from most people. I didn't see how telling them I wanted 3 shifts or that my back hurt would get me fired though.

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Originally Posted by Sowa

That's what my dad said. I just felt they were different from most people. I didn't see how telling them I wanted 3 shifts or that my back hurt would get me fired though.

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Well - see there? Us "old folks" are actually right sometimes. Seriously - it's called "life experiences and lessons learned". Keep that in mind on your next job. Have "friends" there to talk about things like your favorite movie, or your pets, or the weather, or what you like or don't like to eat, etc - just generic stuff. It really works out much better that way. You never have true and trustworthy friends in the workplace.

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Originally Posted by pomtzu

Well - see there? Us "old folks" are actually right sometimes. Seriously - it's called "life experiences and lessons learned". Keep that in mind on your next job. Have "friends" there to talk about things like your favorite movie, or your pets, or the weather, or what you like or don't like to eat, etc - just generic stuff. It really works out much better that way. You never have true and trustworthy friends in the workplace.

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That's really sad. I would never do that to anyone. I can't imagine why someone would do that to me. Especially since we just work in a bar. It's not like it's this great job you can move up on. It's sad that humans are such miserable creatures. I'm sitting here looking at Clover sleeping, and she's so peaceful and content looking. I'm jealous of dogs sometimes. I wish people were more like them. If I had the money, I'd move far into the country where no people lived and just have a ton of animals. :rolleyes: How good would life be?

Everything that Ellie said is SO true. And as you get into career positions, it will be much more cutthroat.

Also, the back issue makes you an unreliable employee and a good one to drop. Do NOT mention this in future job interviews (that you hurt your back and was out for a week) as you likely won't get hired.

Time to search for a new job!

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Originally Posted by Sowa

That's really sad. I would never do that to anyone. I can't imagine why someone would do that to me. Especially since we just work in a bar. It's not like it's this great job you can move up on. It's sad that humans are such miserable creatures. I'm sitting here looking at Clover sleeping, and she's so peaceful and content looking. I'm jealous of dogs sometimes. I wish people were more like them. If I had the money, I'd move far into the country where no people lived and just have a ton of animals. :rolleyes: How good would life be?

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And that's why dogs are man's best friend. True friends!!! A dog wags his tail, and not his tongue! :)

Good luck kiddo - it will all work out - it always does, somehow.

Wow, I am so sorry this happened to you. I have been stabbed in the back before by coworkers, so I know exactly how you feel.

And...

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Originally Posted by pomtzu

Just a word of advice from an old lady that worked many, many years. Your co-workers ARE NOT your friends, and you should never confide anything to them that you don't want repeated. Most times, they will step on you to advance and get where they want to be in the company/organization, yet pretend to be your friend, agree with you when you complain about the boss, etc, and then turn around and repeat all that you have told them, and even elaborate on it by adding some "extras" that you never even said. Be cordial, small talk is fine and probably should be expected, but keep private thoughts and opinions just that - PRIVATE!!!! You need to watch out for YOU - don't make yourself an open book.

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I totally agree with this! I tried the "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" with one of my coworkers and it backfired, so I now I just sit in my corner behind my cubicle and do my work. Luckily, I have a life outside of the office, unlike some of my coworkers.

Live and learn! I did.

Hun, do NOT let this get you down for too long, you didn't deserve this. I have seen so many similar stories lately. Where my mom works, her friends one week are enemies the next. It's so unfortunate. It has become so competitive lately that people resort to some dirty, rotten actions. It has NOTHING to do with you! People are just desperate to keep their jobs, and tend to tap into their worst qualities at the misfortune of others. Not that that helps them in the end, as they themselves are still in the lion's pit no matter what they do!

In the end, people have to live with their actions. Some create their own personal Hell by being the enemy you keep close.

It was very impersonal of that women to call you on the phone too. No backbone, NONE!

I mean everybody has regrets. But theirs will end up nipping them in the butt one day, haunting them, and you. You will still be going strong, because you're a truly good person!

This sucks. It feels to be such a person blow. It's not fair either. I hope things get better for you. You'll be in my prayers! :)

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Originally Posted by ToBeEvergreen

It was very impersonal of that women to call you on the phone too. No backbone, NONE!

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They fired another person by a letter.....

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Originally Posted by Sowa

They fired another person by a letter.....

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That is just so wrong.

I agree with the others. Something better will come your way.

I am truly sorry this happened to you. It sounds like a crappy place to work. I really hope something better comes along for you. :love: I know it will. Sometimes, jobs just suck.


As for all co-workers being not being your friends, I'd feel bad if I sat here without defending MY co-workers AND friends. MOST of my bosses and SOME of my co-workers cannot be trusted, I've learned that the hard way too. I am sick of the power-trips certain bosses go on, I'm sick of the actions they pull, yes. Some of my co-workers are the most fake people you will EVER have the misfortune of meeting. Some of them are stuck-up rude rude people. BUT there are also alot of really genuine people I have met there, that have also been screwed over. I have met some of my BEST friends at work whom I still talk to, many who do not work there anymore. The one reason I go back from season to season is my friends who I've met. I trust many of my co-workers, some more then others, but I know who I can trust and I can read people easily. I could never not consider some of my co-workers friends.

I am so sorry you're in this situation.

I learned the hard way not to trust co-workers. The day my husbands grandfather passed away, a lady I had been "friends" with for years at work and I were talking on break, I was crying and waiting for my husband to pick me up so we could go to the family gathering b/c of grandpa's death... this lady turned around, looked me dead in the eye and told me she didn't want anything more to do with me and wouldn't be speaking to me again. Just like that. Poof. Friendship of many years over. She still doesn't speak to me, not even a "good morning" while passing in the corridor.

I've had to learn that we don't go to work to have friends, just to work. It's an awful way to do things, since we really do spend the majority of our day with these people.

So I called work today to see if I could set up a meeting to talk to the owner to find some stuff out. Apparently they left for vacation for 2 weeks. How low is that? I guess they do all their firing then take off so they don't feel bad. I'm incredibly pissed.

I disagree with NEVER having coworkers as friends. However, I admit that, on the whole, it's a good rule of thumb to work by. I have long term friends that I met through work years ago that are some of the best people I've ever met. They never betrayed my confidences at work, and have not betrayed my confidences since. You will find untrustworthy people everywhere in your life, it's just part of the process of building your circle of people. And, honestly, any time you work in a small environment like that, with only a handful of employees, everyone typically know everything about everyone.

It's never easy getting fired. Grieve while you look for a new job. Take it one day at a time, and you will find yourself in a new and better place. Good luck!

I am sorry this has happened to you. Your co-workers (and boss, seemingly) are not nice people. BUT, that isn't to say there aren't nice ones out there. I work with some wonderful women, and count them amongst my good friends. It can work out that way, and when you consider that many of us spend most of our awake hours with our co-workers, it is an asset to have them also be your friends.

Hang in there, you will find something else.

I called the manager today and she told me I was let go because of shortage of hours. She kept repeating that and making up lies. She said they didn't want the hassle of training a new person.

2 of my friends work at the front desk (I knew them before working here) they came into work last night and apparently a new girl has already been hired.

The thing I hate most in the world....liars. What good does it do for them to lie to me at this point? They've already fired me? Why not say to my face what the problem was? I plan to visit the owners when they're back and ask them. I'd like to know what I did so I don't repeat it in the future. I also want to see if they're not going to put "fired" on my record of employment >_>

I don't know why I'm so pissed off. I guess because I know I didn't do ANYTHING to deserve this.

I am so sorry. Workplace crap like that is the worst. It utterly destroys your self-confidence and self-esteem.. as I know all too well from experience myself.

Especially when they are so devious about it.. not just being straightforward about what they want to do and whether you might fit into their plans or not.

Best wishes to you, that you find a GOOD job soon! Meanwhile, keep your chin up. You did your job as you were supposed to. Not your fault all this other stuff was going on.

God bless.

:love::love::love::love::love::love::love::love:

I have confidence issues to begin with. I've really been working on it lately and was feeling a lot better. Now this happens and I kinda feel like crap again.

They told me about another lady they planned to fire come Sept too. I imagine they had a list of people to let go then they go on vacation :rolleyes:

I'm going to play devil's advocate for a moment, as a company trying to downsize it's staff it would make more sense to let the person go that has back issues and only works 3 shifts per week. They could possibly hire a new person to work more shifts and get paid less.

Sorry that you feel betrayed by your job and coworkers. I'm sure everything will work out and I hope this is a blessing in disguise for you and a better, more awesome job is waiting just around the corner for you.