I'm a failure as a cat owner

I haven't been around much and it's because of some serious issues with my kitties. We started having peeing problems again starting last fall. Took me some time and alot of urine samples to narrow down the main culprit, Sabrina.

She was already on a prescription diet for urinary issues. We made a change to a different one which did improve the test results to normal levels.
However the peeing continued.

I finally resorted to buying an extra large dog crate and confining her in the computer room when she couldn't be supervised. At first it was just being caged in the evenings, then it was while I was at work, then it was anytime she couldn't be directly watched, then it was only being out of cage in the cpu room for short times. We were still having peeing issues.

I was still trying to convince myself that if I could re-home her things would improve. During this time I asked everyone I know, alot of our clients and had all them asking everyone they know if anyone could give her a new home. I didn't have any luck finding a home for her when she was a tiny foster kitten, and certainly no luck now that she's older.

Last week she was out of her cage while I was changing her water. I left the room for only a minute and she had peed in the middle of the floor while her cage was wide open to get to her sandbox!!:(

She's not taking to living in her cage well, she cries and paces at times. She can't enjoy laying in her window hammock, she can't watch the birds, she didn't take well at all to the heatwave we had since that room doesn't have A/C, she doesn't get enough exercise in there.

I finally came to the conclusion that living her entire lifetime in a cage is no life at all. Finding a home for a cat is difficult enough but a cat with peeing issues is impossible. She'll never be an outside cat as she's terrified everytime I've taken her outside. I had a deep discussion with several people, including her vet, who said I've done about all I can do. I came to the bitter, heartbreaking decision to have her put to sleep. Her appointment is tomorrow morning at 8:45 a.m.:(

I feel like a failure as a cat owner and I've been embarassed to come on the board to talk about it. However since so many of you have followed her progress from the 2 week old 'foster' I took in, I thought I owed it to you all to let you know.

I have to stop typing before my tears short out the keyboard.


2006
http://petoftheday.com/talk/picture....pictureid=4220

http://petoftheday.com/talk/picture....pictureid=4217



September 23, 2006 - June 16, 2001
Sabrina I love you and I am so sorry I failed you as an owner. You will be greatly missed!!! I love you baby.:(:(
http://petoftheday.com/talk/picture....pictureid=4219

This is heart breaking, indeed. You have tried so many things, talked w/ many, sought advice, guidance and ideas. Talked w/ the vet. I guess I'm not sure how you failed.

Oh how I wish they could talk and tell us what is going on!!!!

Which just caused a thought to pop into my head. Have you tried that cat "talker" some folks on here have used? Candace will know who I mean, and Laura had good results. One last try perhaps?

catlady - how heartbreaking!

Nancy does not ask for any money up front. If you choose to contact her, send your phone number, a picture or two of Sabrina, and tell her it is urgent. If you can postpone Sabrina's appointment for even a day, Nancy can do the reading.

efrusy @ yahoo. com - Nancy Efrusy

She works from a photo, and her prices are resonable. She lives in the USA.

Lots of folks here on PT have used her, with great results.

I know you have tried everything - Mary (Medusa) swears by a tranquilizer called Clomicalm. No side effects that she has mentioned.

Your decision is the right one. Using Nancy and trying Clomicalm etc is last resort, but Nancy can help find out from Sabrina why this is happening.

{{{{{hugs}}}}}}:love:

You will be in our prayers.

My heart goes out to you during this trying time. I wish I had an answer :confused::(

I went through something similar with an older cat and having her put down was a very, very hard decision. I kept wondering if there was something else I could have tried.

I guess I'm seeing this too late b/c it's nearly time for her appt. If by some chance you've changed your mind, I'll mention Clomicalm one more time. I certainly don't want to pour salt in your already painful wound but just in case you are looking for one last thing to try, I thought I'd remind you. Whatever the case, we all know how hard you've tried w/Sabrina and her issue. And I know better than most how frustrating a pee cat can be. I had an entire living room set and dining room server completely ruined b/c of it. Had I only known about Clomicalm beforehand things may have been different. Please know that I for one feel your pain. Take care. :love:

{HUGS} to you and you are not a failure...you gave her a safe life filled with love and if you do have her euthanized, that will be an act of love too.

You are so sorry for you and Sabrina :( and we are sending prayers for you both.:( That is such a heart rending decision to have to make, and we are praying for you.:love::love:at the Found Cat Hotel:love::love::love:

I haven't been on here long so I haven't seen all you have gone through however your post had heartfelt love for this cat. I cried when I read it. I am so sorry that you are having to make this difficult decision.

{{{{hugs}}}} :love:

oh my word, what a terrible situation for you to be in, my heart goes out to you,sometimes the decisions in life we have to make are just heartbreaking,please know I am thinking of you, hugs and love.:love:

I'm so sorry to hear that it's come to this.:( I know how frustating it must be when you've tried everything and nothing seems to work.:( Lots of prayers and hugs are being sent your way. Please take care.:love:

Catlady711,

I've been in your shoes. Took a cat in who was inappropriately pooping, from a former PTer. Once they dropped her off, I never heard from them again. To whom it may concern...YOU'RE WELCOME!!! :mad: She did good for a while, but continued her pooping. I rehomed her to the UP of Michigan. My friend's son, a dairy farmer, adopted her and she became a barn kitty (heated barn, endless food and lots of love and freedom) along with Lil E. Both, I am happy to say, are doing very well!!! They sleep together in the loft of the heated barn with the chickens!

While I have some reservations about the "last resort", if you've tried everything, ruled out anything and gave it your all, I guess it's for the best. My gut feeling is there is more to this story.

RIP sweet girl. You were loved very much.

I'm so sorry you have to do this.

I thank you all for the thoughts & prayers.

My heart is torn apart, my tears just keep falling. I took those kittens in back in 2006 because they would have died if I didn't. People around me are reminding me to think of the fact that Sabrina wouldn't have made it to be 4 weeks old if I hadn't taken her in and she had 4 1/2 years that she never would have had otherwise. But it doesn't make me feel any better. I feel like a failure, I feel like an awful cat owner. I've lost my confidence in myself. I will do my best by my remaining kitties that I love dearly too, but I just can't see myself ever getting another pet again after this experience.

When I take a cat in my intention is to only have to make this decision if they are old or very sick. But living your entire life in a cage with no freedom isn't much of a life. Not being able to enjoy the things a kitty should enjoy; watching birds, stretching out in a sunbeam, having room to run around when you want to, just isn't a life at all. Especially when she can hear the other kitties running around, she could remember doing all the things they were getting to do and it would make her pace and cry in that cage. It was heartbreaking to listen to, to see her wanting to be free. And as much as it's breaking my heart, she is free now. She can run all over with Dusty at the Rainbow Bridge, lay in sunbeams, and watch birds again. I stayed with her when she went to sleep, petted her, and cried while asking her to forgive me. I hope she can forgive me. I've done the best I could do for her and I tried hard for her. When my time comes, I hope she runs up to greet me in forgiveness, but I wouldn't blame her if she didn't. I picked up her ashes yesterday and I can't look at them without feeling worthless inside.

I can't type anymore through the tears right now.

I truly believe that any cat or dog that gets to live it's life as part of a family is truly blessed and that she will not only run to greet you but she will thank you for giving her the best life that you could...and a peaceful, dignified journey to the bridge. Don't beat yourself up...try to focus on all the GOOD you did for her and all the other cats in your life :love:

What MoonandBean said! Don't beat yourself up. She had a good life with you.

i'm so sorry for your loss on your kitty.this is very very sad.
i know how hard this must be on you.
i wish i didn't see the pictures:(
it's the way it had to be.it's very hard to find a cat a great home that pees
all over the place for just behavioral problems.
sometimes a home with no other pets or noises may be the only solution.
but,who wants to go door to door all over the USA and see if they have other pets or if they are a noisy home....lol
(i'm trying to help you crack a smile).
but,even that is only a pot luck thing...they still may pee everywhere.
plus,someone else may hurt the cat for peeing.
the guilt of not knowing is just as bad.
i hope you can come to terms knowing that you did what you had to do.
it's hard but it had to be done.
try not to be so hard on yourself (i know,shush....lol,easier said,right?)
i'm sure most people will agree with what you did.
be well.
we love you and i'm going to say a prayer for her and one also
for you :love:

{{{hugs}}} again...I hope in time the love of your other furbabies will help. You made the right decision. Thank God Sabrina wound up in your home where she was given every chance. You saved her life, and she would have fared far worse somewhere else.

I know I was presenting last-minute options, as were other people here. Speaking only for myself, one reason was to spare you the hurt.

Lean on us here....we love you. :love::love::love:

Sabrina will be waiting for you at the Bridge and happy to see you. {{{hugs}}}

I am so sorry for your loss. :(

I really can't think of anything new to say, everyone has said it, many better than I could. You did SO MUCH for her. She never would have lived as she did, loved and known love as she did, without your stepping in when you did.

I don't have any advice to offer, just hugs from across the miles.

I found it heartbreaking reading your thread, i can feel your pain, you made a decision that was unbearable for you to make, cry those tears for your loss,and in time the hurt will become more bearable, you have the other furbabies to think of , they will always need you.

I think in time your thoughts will change, and you will continue to be a good cat mummy, remember that the time you had together was precious, and yes she would not have had even that time , had it not been for you.

I know how heartwrenching this has been for you, and i totally understand where you are coming from and how bad you feel.,I would never ever judge you,and neither should others, till they have walked in your shoes, so take comfort in knowing many here feel for you and understand.

I can only wish for your heart to heal ,as it will in time, giant gentle hugs to you, take care.

I thought I could finally post without crying, but after reading the last few comments I find that I'm crying again.

Thank you all for the love, support, thoughts and prayers. They are much appreciated and needed.

I'm finally able to enjoy the other kitties again now. I've been spending more time with each one of them, especially Cami. For awhile I was just sitting, thinking, feeling bad and crying alot. I'm not sure when the tears will ever stop falling when I think of Sabrina, but at least I'm not crying every time I spend time with the other kitties now.

Thank you all again for the support.

Cats are wonderful therapy,let them help you to heart your broken heart, and don't worry about crying, you need to let it all out,.thinking of you , and hoping in time you will feel a little better, you will always have a hard time with the decision you have made,but as time goes on you will come to realise you really had little choice,you are only human and if you feel you did everything you possibly could ,then you must try to forgive yourself,.again GIANT GENTLE HUGS from across the seas. TAKE CARE.:love::love: