Mini Rant

Ok a huge pet peeve of mine is when my kids or fiance calls me up 3 hours before supper is to be on the table to say they invited one of their buddies at the last minute. To be clear I love to have people over for meals. Really do. But I tell them to give me at least one days notice so I can ensure there is always enough. Seems Doug can't get this little notion through his head. Called me up at quarter after 4 to tell me a buddy from work is coming for dinner. Dinner is scheduled to be on the table at 6:15. He is lucky I already had enough out to make an extra plate. But still frustrated about it. Anyone else deal with this issue? How do you approach it? And yes we have talked about giving me notice, doesn't seem to sink in.

OK rant over. Feel much better. Off to finish making dinner.

This hasn't happened to me yet, but I can see how frustating it could be. You don't want to be rude, yet you don't want to look like you can't manage a dinner either.

For the kids, I could just say, "nope, not tonight". For your SO...prolly doesn't work.

Big problem for me. If I cook a ton of food I might be able to work with it. I hate surprises like that though. I live alone now but that happened to me many times in the past. I never got used to it.

I would sit down and have another talk about how stressful it is for you. Good luck.

We never knew, growing up, how many people were going to be present for a particular meal for the most part, just made plenty to go around.

The funniest one was my sister's friend Nancy - she was a very sheltered only child of a very quiet couple, so when she was over our house for dinner, she never ate much anyway, she was too busy laughing at our normal dinner table routine!

Cook enough so you have leftovers (besides, if it's worth cooking, it's worth cooking extra), and the extra odd body won't matter. (3 Hours is more notice than we normally ever gave at home, being that it takes me about 1/2 hours to an hour to cook dinner, doesn't seem like that big a deal?)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by NicoleLJ

He is lucky I already had enough out to make an extra plate.

---

That's the problem right there. His buddy is still getting the meal and your hubby is happy. It's never going to sink in if it always works out.

My thoughts are that you have 3 choices:

1) always make a bit extra just in case, and you can use any leftovers for lunch.

2) appologize profusely in front of hubby and guest(s) when there isn't enough food for the unannounced, or short notice buddy, hubby might get the hint then.

3) only fix meals that require less time to make so that 3 hours would be more than enough time to prepare a meal if guests have been added.

seriously? 3 hours isnt enough time?

I don't know.... I mean most meals take us one hour to make from SCRATCH.

unless they are crock pot meals and we make more than 3 servings in a crock pot meal normally and if it's not crock pot and is an oven meal... it's usually a pretty large chunk of meat if it takes 3 hours.

I suppose if it's a habit and i told him about it and I was in the habit of making meals that took HOURS it could be annoying but really most of our from scratch meals take no more than 2 hours. so I don't really see how three hours is not enough time unless you are about to hunt the animal yourself lol

but if it is a problem there is a simple solution....

TALK TO YOUR SPOUSE. TELL him that you can't accomodate an extra guest more than a day in advanced if you cant afford it. be honest with him. don't just expect him to KNOW. and if you have talked about it and he still does it then tell him NO. it's not rocket science. tell him "I'm sorry but I just don't have enough food prepared for the extra guest" and if he insists on it tell him "I told you I don't have enough food made and I can't make it up in time so tell him he can't come and tell him YOU made a mistake and don't have enough food for him or room for him"

pretty simple... HONESTY


Don't play games. be honest. tell him you don't have enough food NOR do you have enough money to pay for food for others. seriously don't play GAMES about it and act like you can pull it off

this is the basis of all relationships... honesty. don't lie to him... don't play games... don't fudge statistics or money etc etc. just tell him the truth. this is what you can afford and if he wants to invite people last minute then tell him what he is up against.

Please reread my first post. I clearly stated that I have had this conversation with him before. So I did not expect him to read my mind. And for this meal the meat was marinating most of the afternoon so it was a meal that was prepared ahead of time to make it the way we like it. Yes most meals do take about 2 hours max to make but not all can be made that quickly. Also some are portion made. So needing to know how many people are coming in advance is a must.

I don't think Nicole is being difficult. Sure, most meals do take far less than 3 hours to make. Heck, I can 'cook' our meal in 20 minutes! LOL. But, if I was buying meat,and making normal meals like many of you eat, I would have 2 chops, or 2 hamburgers, or 2 steaks (I am about nearly sick even saying this! LOL), thawed out and ready to go.

I grew up in a large family. I understand family style meals, where you might make a pot of something, a casserole, etc. But, I can't really see that in a small family.

I know exactly what you mean NicoleLJ! Whenever we have someone come on the boat to work on something, I am not told until just minutes before they arrive (usually) and if they are there at mealtime, someone will always invite them to eat. Usually, there is enough to handle ONE extra but then you get the times when there are 3 or 4 and that is where I have problems. There is NOT enough time to thaw out more pork chops or pieces like that. I have told them when they would tell me we had someone coming on that I only had "X" number of pieces of meat and unless they wanted to let the company have theirs, NOT to invite them to eat until after the crew had ate... (I have learned to keep premade patties, chicken or beef in the freezer now and instant gravy for just such times)

The time I did get pleanty of notice and cooked accordingly... they either didn't show up or left before mealtime..

(Men NEVER get it! NEVER! They think we are miracle workers and can do ANYTHING)

I think that it's VERY inconsiderate!. Maybe you could embarrass him by serving very small portions because you have to now feed an extra mouth that you hadn't planned on. Why should you have to go out of your way to try to accommodate an unexpected guest? Put your foot down, and demand at least a one day notice. That doesn't make you a b*tch, but makes you look like a more gracious hostess, with everything well put together!

Fortunately, my ex never pulled anything like that on me. I trained him well!! :p

I, also, don't think you are being difficult, particularly if this an on-going situation.

It sort of goes along with my pet peeve - people who drop in on you unannounced. And then stay even if it's obvious you are otherwise occupied. They send me the message that they think their time is more valuable than mine.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Grace

It sort of goes along with my pet peeve - people who drop in on you unannounced. And then stay even if it's obvious you are otherwise occupied.

---

Oh yeah - a really big gripe of mine too. Friends always tell me - just drop in anytime! I don't, because I know how I feel about it being done to me. I will call well beforehand, and more times than not, they will say they have guests, or are getting ready to go somewhere, etc, etc. So sure - I'll just drop in anytime. NOT!!

It wasn't really an issue till we moved. Only happened a couple of times before that. Since we moved our large back deck has become the hang out spot for all of our friends and all of my fiances moms friends. And since our place is upstairs we are always the host. Which I have no problem with at all. I have gotten used to always making sure their is ice tea in the fridge and coffee ready to be made. When it was habit before to make it when wanted. I am also stocking my freezer with baking so that there is always something to serve. I am glad that people love to come over. It is just for dinners when single portions are being made I need notice for my sanity. lol

So he just calls and says "Hey, I'm bringing Joe home for dinner." Or does he ask you if it's okay? Bruce would ask first. Of course, Bruce is the one that cooks the main part of the dinner so he would know anyway.

It's not the amount of time it takes to cook the meal that is the problem. It's having enough food to make at all. I totally understand why you would be frustrated.

Maybe keep some frozen dinners (like Hungry Man or whatever) in the freezer and then that becomes your husbands dinner for bringing home guests at the last minute. :p

I would get really annoyed if someone did that to me. If you're standing there with two steaks and you have just enough potatoes - what are you supposed to do! Cut the steaks up in smaller pieces?? Geesh!

John luckily never invited anyone for dinner, unless he had told me long before, and we usually went shopping together on our way home, anyway. Or I had already taken something out of the freezer in the morning.

If you are having something like steaks and your husband invites someone, tell him to at least get another steak on his way home!

That is a annoying problem. Next time he calls with a unexpected
guest coming, I'd tell him to be prepared to share HIS meal with them.:)