What do you think...Not pet related

The woman that my husband left me for back in 2001 is writing a manuscript on how "she and Dan got back together again". I was married to him at the time they met back up again at a college reunion that he did not invite me to go to with him. They had been secretly seeing each other for several months until I accidentally found out about the affair. He wanted to continue being married to me and carry on with her on the side. I told him to make a choice, her or me. He chose her so I told him to leave.

I am completely over the break up and divorce and am very happy, but don't you think she has a lot of nerve to write a book about it?!? What a slap in the face to my two kids who are now 19 and 22.

WOW - that's beyond chutzpah! Hey, if she tells the truth, you can sue her for alienation of affection (I think that's what it's called)! Seriously though, that is BEYOND bad taste. No class (but that was obvious long ago, huh?).

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Originally Posted by Pinot's Mom

WOW - that's beyond chutzpah! Hey, if she tells the truth, you can sue her for alienation of affection (I think that's what it's called)! Seriously though, that is BEYOND bad taste. No class (but that was obvious long ago, huh?).

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Does she plan on publishing it? Unless she classifies it as "fiction", then she had better carefully choose her words and not have anything unsavory/untruthful to say in reference to you or the kids. You could make it unpleasant for her if she does - but then she would have what's coming to her in that case.

Tacky - tacky - tacky

I'd talk to your lawyer about it. I'm so sorry she's doing this and think that if she does finish the manuscript, and if it's TRUE, she is the one that going to look like a skank. I just feel bad for you and your children. That's why I suggested talking to your lawyer.

You're in my prayers, honey.

I can only offer my prays on this one. I'm in a tough situation about whether to stay or go at the moment myself so I can't really offer advice but my prays are with you.

Melissa

I'm with Donna on this one. Why in the world would someone write a book about how they stole someone's husband?? And like Donna said, if she does tell the truth she is going to look like the bad guy. That's why I would have to believe it will not be the truth, but something to make her look great instead.

Definitely talk to a lawyer or something to find out what grounds you have in this situation.

I really think that involving a lawyer at this point would be jumping the gun. If she publishes it as fiction - then that's all it is. If not, then you would have to read it to know if she says anything that would be derogatory/slanderous, and warrant action on your part. She's within her rights to write and publish a manuscript and there's not much you can do about it, unless it is harmful to you or the kids.
How did you find out about this anyway? Could it be that she's just blowing smoke???

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Originally Posted by pomtzu

I really think that involving a lawyer at this point would be jumping the gun. If she publishes it as fiction - then that's all it is. If not, then you would have to read it to know if she says anything that would be derogatory/slanderous, and warrant action on your part. She's within her rights to write and publish a manuscript and there's not much you can do about it, unless it is harmful to you or the kids.
How did you find out about this anyway? Could it be that she's just blowing smoke???

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Hey ladies. I am not going to go the lawyer route. I really do not know at this point what type of book it will be. I found out about this from a friend of a friend and then my son told me last night at dinner that she has it posted on her Facebook account.

I tried the alienation of affection thing back before our divorce. They do not honor it in my state and my state is also a no-fault divorce state. So, even though I had an expandable file folder of the emails from the two of them back and forth while they were having their affair, it didn't matter.

Like I said, I am way over the break up and divorce, I am very happy, my kids have grown into productive and happy adults and I have moved on. It just sort of irks me that she would have the nerve to write a book. However, a good friend of mine said to just get over it. LOL.

LOL. Write your own book - publish the emails and call it the Sequel! :D

If she publishes it, you could write one heck of a book review on Amazon. ;)

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Originally Posted by Prairie Purrs

If she publishes it, you could write one heck of a book review on Amazon. ;)

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OMG...I LOVE you guys!!!

Lots of people write books. Even fewer get them published, and the percentage that actually get marketing and distribution is even smaller. I'd not worry about it.

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Originally Posted by Catty1

LOL. Write your own book - publish the emails and call it the Sequel! :D

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That's hysterical!! She might not write her little book if she knew you had these emails!

:rolleyes: I would be like in her face about it.. For sure get some money off of the book sales..:D

I'd crease the cover on every copy in the store.;);)

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Originally Posted by Karen

Lots of people write books. Even fewer get them published, and the percentage that actually get marketing and distribution is even smaller. I'd not worry about it.

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Ohhh...I forgot to mention...she has published several of these postcard books in my area. Books that have historical pictures and postcards in them. She used to work for a publishing company in Connecticut before she left her kids and moved to Pennsylvania to be with the "love of her life". :D

It is tacky. It is embarrassing to both your ex-husband and her. I am curious. What do your children think of this?

I agree it is indeed very tacky, and rubbing salt in your wounds, i know you are over it now and i am happy to hear that, but as if you need it all dragged up again, and so embarrassing for your children, not much you can do i suppose,but hey i love Richards idea, go Richard.:):D:love:

I'd take the high road and ignore the whole thing, unless it proves to be grossly inaccurate and a total character assasination.

Your kids are old enough to know which way the wind blows.

Even thought time has passed and you and the kids have moved on I can certaintly understand this upsetting you. If if were me I would try and just forget it and be happy. Maybe she needs to write for self therapy, maybe she is writing to justify what happened, perhaps she is unhappy and is trying to convince herself and the world that she is happy.
I would go to the store and buy myself something pretty and live my life being happy without the man who cheated.
Best of luck to you, may happiness be yours.

If this wasn't so tactless and lacking in good sense I think I would choke laughing. Let her write the book and if she publishes it under non fiction take it to a lawyer after you read and outline what you consider tasteless and invasion of your private life. If fiction, start working on a rebuttal.

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Originally Posted by Marigold2

Even thought time has passed and you and the kids have moved on I can certaintly understand this upsetting you. If if were me I would try and just forget it and be happy. Maybe she needs to write for self therapy, maybe she is writing to justify what happened, perhaps she is unhappy and is trying to convince herself and the world that she is happy.
I would go to the store and buy myself something pretty and live my life being happy without the man who cheated.
Best of luck to you, may happiness be yours.

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That is a very good point! I never thought of it that way. Yes, I have moved on. The more I thought about it today the more I realized it really does not affect my life at all now. I am happy and I have a good life with my kitties who LOVE me very much!

Thanks everyone. I appreciate all of the sincere and thoughtful suggestions and remarks. :love::love::love::love::love:

I love your attitude. Blessings on you for being happy and obviously being a great mom with well adjusted kids. I've never been married (almost) but have been in a long term relationship. I
always tell John that if he finds someone better than me, go for it. See ya. Not that I don't love him, but I guess I'm weird. I let things pass and never hold grudges. I have no regrets. There's a word for this lady who wrote the book but I can't put in on here But it is what is is. I think I adore you. You're a CLASS ACT!