What do you do when someone won't accept a gift?

I'l attempt to keep this short.

My vet is opening her own practice, from scratch. I mean, she has the clientelle, but the building needs to be equipped and stocked....etc

she has always been good to us as far as fairness in pricing, and after hours service whenever needed, and she does a LOT for the rescues!

We (my husband and I) gave her a gift card as a combination thank you gift/good luck with your new practice gift, to help with set up (it is from Staples)

She says it is too much $$$ and doesn't want it because "you guys (us) already have so much on your plate."

I admit, sometimes I am generous beyond my means, but it is a blessing to give and I wanted it to be worth something to her.

Is there any way to convince her to keep it in the spirit it is given?

I'd just tell her she's worth every penny and that it's not from you but from the fur babies she's looked after.

I would put it in a nice card and either mail it to her or leave it with the receptionist. Maybe it's the face to face that's embarrasing her? :confused:

Respectfully, I kind of agree with her. You do a heck of a lot for the little ones, and she's probably not comfortable taking what might go directly to them.

How about a nice little ad in the local paper thanking her for being such a conscientious vet?

Love, Columbine

Be sneaky.


Ask the front desk what she may need?

Office supplies, paper, pens?

Med supplies? Cotton balls? gauze pads?

Buy a lunch for the office?

If you show up with stuff like that she cannot turn it down!

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Originally Posted by RICHARD

Be sneaky.


Ask the front desk what she may need?

Office supplies, paper, pens?

Med supplies? Cotton balls? gauze pads?

Buy a lunch for the office?

If you show up with stuff like that she cannot turn it down!

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I actually thought about getting a 'THING', but here's the deal....

she is not in the building yet. she needs EVERYTHING. But I didn't want to get the wrong style. I am sure she wants to make this her own, probably wants things to coodinate, to get the correct file folders, for example. That's why the gift card.

Right now she is only working from her home which is where she is set up for the clinics she does for the rescues. There is no way forr me to know what one THING she might want.

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Respectfully, I kind of agree with her. You do a heck of a lot for the little ones, and she's probably not comfortable taking what might go directly to them.

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I understand this, and I can see this as being a valid reason, but I'm stubborn :rolleyes: I WANT her to have this. :p

A few thoughts to consider:

1. I don't know what any ethics code is for vets. For attorneys, there are limits to what can be accepted as gifts from clients.

2. When I was working in banking, we had strict policies on what we could accept as gifts from clients and what we had to decline.* Now she is working for herself, but she has to set some limits, set some guidelines, for herself and for her soon to be staff. Perhaps you have gone over them.

* To give you and idea: VP's could not accept anything worth more than $25. Executive VP's could not accept anything more than $35. Lower levels were limited to $20. My point here is, for professions which have limits, they are quite low!

3. While YOU consider this a thank you / best wishes for the new practice, she may worry you expect more in the way of after hours service, pricing breaks, payment arrangements, and so forth. And what she has been able to do in the past may not be on offer in the future if she has start up debt as a part of her new over head.

4. You mentioned Staples. Not every office uses them. There ARE other supply companies, lol. W. B. Mason comes to mind as one of many.

I suggest you graciously accept that for now, this is not something you can do. Send her a lovely card for her opening. Once the office is open, consider one of the other ideas on offer, like lunch for the office one day. But I wouldn't suggest tucking this in the card; she has already made it clear this is beyond some limits she is / or feels obligated to comply with. She is trying to do what she believes is the professional thing. Please try to respect that.

Trying to open a new business is worry enough, lol, don't give her more worries just now! You will have many opportunities in the future to deliver something.

I have an idea:

Make her a gift she can hang in the office - whether it's a posterboard covered with cat footprints (non-toxic paint, of course) and says "We love Dr. SoandSo!" and some human-drawn hearts, or a collage of cat pictures of kitties she has treated with that message nicely printed in the middle - something she can hang in her new place, to let new people know she's got lots of happy clients who love her already.

Anonymous donations!!!!!- No WORRIES!

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Be patient. She may grab all the things she thinks she needs. By that time?

I like Karen's idea? A step further?

Find a trophy shop and get a 'gag' plaque. World's Best Vet! Something a little fun that states a nice thought.

Think off the beaten trail!

I think you have to respect her wishes, it may well be an ethical thing, and she may feel obligated to you as pointed out before, and it seems it makes her uncomfortable, i think some of the ideas here are great and would be better appreciated than a cash gift,or maybe you could offer to donate some time, in helping her set up her practice, a nice bunch of flowers on opening day and a nice card from the furbabies, i think the best gift you can give her , is to pass on to all your friends and family just what a great vet she is.

The first time I made a donation to the shelter I was helping, they said that I did not have to because I was already volunteering socializing the kitties and it was a great help, but they needed money so they accepted it.

Perhaps your vet has other reasons that she can't tell you. If she really believes it's too much, may be it's because she knows she would be able to set up her pratice without your gift and she prefers that you give it to someone else? I would accept her choice (it's just my opinion of course) :)

I have to agree with those who suggest you respect her wishes. I love Karen's idea of buying or making something for the office though - some little thing to display that shows that she has appreciative clients. At my vet, there is a very cute crosstitch picture of kitties that hangs in one of the exam rooms - and it always makes me smile because it refers to the "catdad" side of him:D

Jen you are very sweet to want to help her - but I really feel that it would be awkward in a professional relationship. I bet you could come up with something cute from the gang.

I guess I have no choice but to accept her choice, but sheesh....it was only $100, not like I was buying a "wing" in her new building or something. :rolleyes:

I still can't help but feel sad and rejected. :(

I don't get the ethics thing. I've been w/two vets who had just set up practice and there were vases of flowers sent by patients all over the waiting room. They spent money on something that would be dead in a few days. Giving a gift card is much more practical but if she won't accept it, there isn't much you can do except give it to someone else who will, such as a rescue agency that you trust completely. "No good deed goes unpunished".

I have seen some great suggestions and I agree that some thing to hang on the office wall would be great. You can also run a add in the local paper congratulating her on opening her new office and continuing her fine work and caring. This will serve 2 purposes 1. too say thanks and 2. to help bring clients in. I did that many, many years ago and it helped get a good vet off and running, I ran a1 time ¼ page add that vet now has 7 others on staff and will still make house calls.

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Originally Posted by Medusa

I don't get the ethics thing. I've been w/two vets who had just set up practice and there were vases of flowers sent by patients all over the waiting room. They spent money on something that would be dead in a few days. Giving a gift card is much more practical but if she won't accept it, there isn't much you can do except give it to someone else who will, such as a rescue agency that you trust completely. "No good deed goes unpunished".

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You are right, a large flower arrangement would cost PLENTY!

I sadly agree that "no good deed ever goes unpunished" (I say this all the time) but do I ever learn? no.

I agree with the idea of making something to hang on the wall, or buying some cute kitty and puppy pics to hang up. A board decorated to hang pics of her patients is an excellent idea IMO. ;)

Or you could leave that money for a Stary Cat or for a Cat whose family is short of funds.:):):):)
My Aunt Joan:love::love::love: does that at Our Vets all the time!!!
:love::love::love:

LOL, I didn't know lawyers were prohibitied from receiving gifts. I am not sure that is the 'law' in OH.

As for the vet and the gift card, I can see why you would feel like you do, Jen. It doesn't make sense, frankly. You gave the gift in the spirit of giving. I think she should accept it in the same way. I can't think of any ethical violations that would exist in the context of a vet/patient relationship.

OK all is well. I think she was just surprized and what she said was her way of expressing her shock. We talked about it and I mentioned the flower delivery scenario...how if I had sent a big ol' basket of flowers she would not have refused it.

She is thankful and grateful and I am HAPPY.

Thanks for your thoughts, they all had merit.

I'm glad everything worked out! It's a very generous and thoughtful gift. :D

Although I would send bonsai trees which last a lot longer and can be transplanred and a garden made of them.
My foot doctor has quite a good display going from two or three trees.
:):):):)