chores and kids

helena is staying with us for the foreseeable future. :D:eek::D. i'm sure i'm gonna ask for advice from the more experienced parents, and parent backups. first questions....she's 4 1/2, will be 5 in august, are these chores too much to expect from a kid that age? 1- making her bed and putting her jammies under her pillow (pulling up the sheet and bedspread over the pillows) 2- putting the dirty clothes in the basket and picking out what to wear for school the next day 3-scrapping off her dinner plate and putting the dirty dishes in the washer or next to the sink 4- hanging her towel up and putting the bath mat on the tub edge after her bath at night 5-"helping" me tidy the living room at night before bed (putting the pillows back on the couch and resetting princess peanuts blanket). 6- putting her school bag and shoes next to the door for the morning rush. i was the oldest kid, so i grew up moms' third hand and had more duties as i recall, but that was a long time back....thanks for advice

Not too much at all, IMO. It's been a long time since my son was little tyke but he was making his bed when he was barely old enough to walk. He didn't do the best job but I didn't care so much about that as I did that he learn responsibility and was taking pride in his room. Sounds to me like you're on the money. :)

and oh yes...she's fast to pick up the fur fluffs that float down the hall;)

Maybe start her out with a few things at first, so she doesn't feel too overwhelmed, especially if she hasn't had any chores to do before. Then add one or two each week until she's up to where you want her to be. Maybe she'll want to do even more than what you have in mind. :D

I'd wait on a couple of those chores like the dishes & picking out
her own clothes. (unless you are willing to send her out the door with
a plaid skirt & striped purple shirt :)) Good luck.:)

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Originally Posted by lizbud

I'd wait on a couple of those chores like the dishes & picking out
her own clothes. (unless you are willing to send her out the door with
a plaid skirt & striped purple shirt :)) Good luck.:)

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It figure you would side with the ladies.

Us guys know fashion. It's a purple plaid shirt and striped pants.:p


Here's a hint?

Make it a game, impress upon her that any thing she does will help out the household and will make you very happy. If you over dramatize your reaction to her doing chores she'll do anything to make you happy.;)

My kid is only 2, but I don't think that's too much to ask of her at all. My 2 year old can handle some of that. I'd probably introduce all of it to her from day one, so she knows all the rules right off the bat. I'd help her with all of it at first and one by one start letting her do the things by herself.

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Originally Posted by lizbud

I'd wait on a couple of those chores like the dishes & picking out
her own clothes. (unless you are willing to send her out the door with
a plaid skirt & striped purple shirt :)) Good luck.:)

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With my son, I show him 2 shirts and ask him which he wants to wear. Maybe that would work with Helena too? Or maybe when you put her clothes away in the closet you could put complete outfits together on one hanger?

Good Luck!

I'd make a chart. Something visual will help her to remember her "duties" rather than expecting her to remember all of those things immediately.

Cameron just turned 3 last week and does most of that already too (except making the bed - a hyper dog gets involved and it always ends in a game of tug between Cam and Cal :eek: )

Lets see.... he also helps me sort laundry according to colors, feeds the cats & Callie, scoops litter (ok, so perhaps he gets the easier stuff, but he is pretty good at it already!!!) He "preps" the room for vaccuuming (removing small things from the floor, picking up shoes, etc.) He helps a LOT in the yard. I love how serious he gets when he's helping us... but the key is to ask him to help us. He won't do it if we simply tell him to do something. It has to be a favor and something we do together. We make it all fun, and even our own chores seem so much less chore-like and more fun.

My son will turn 5 in Septmember. He can pick out his clothes and dress himself. Sometimes he prefers that I do it. As for general chores: I think the bed making is too much...too hard to lean across, too hard to pull up a comforter. But, my son brings dishes in from the table or couch (lol, we do eat on the couch), knows to put things in the trash (like plastic from a sippy drink straw), can put food in the cat bowls, does put his clothes in the hamper, does help water things in the yard, won't clean up cat throw up and I do not ask him to touch the litter box. He always cleans up his toys at the end of the day. He likes to run the vacuum and dust (but can go through a can of pledge in ten minutes). And, loves it when I ask him to lock up for the night. He knows the front light goes on, and the bottom lock is done. I still do the top hotel lock. Many times he does things without asking...throwing stuff away, cleaning up, etc.

Chores at this age, IMO, is more about establishing habits than it is about completing tasks. Kids this age generally like to help out. If there was a child new to my house...I would tread slowly so as to not overload the rules. I like to emphasize to my child that we are a team, and team members help out each other...we both have to do things we don't like to do for the other sometimes.

Is Helena your grandaugher?

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Originally Posted by RICHARD

It figure you would side with the ladies.

Us guys know fashion. It's a purple plaid shirt and striped pants.:p


Here's a hint?

Make it a game, impress upon her that any thing she does will help out the household and will make you very happy. If you over dramatize your reaction to her doing chores she'll do anything to make you happy.;)

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well she did want to wear purple shorts and an orange shirt this morning..:eek: we agreed on blue jean shorts and the orange shirt. and i've said thank you every time she handed me a dirty plate to rinse off so she could put it in the dishwasher. i made a big deal about the blanket pulling up and the pillow fluffing this morning. :D

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Originally Posted by Cataholic

Chores at this age, IMO, is more about establishing habits than it is about completing tasks. Kids this age generally like to help out. If there was a child new to my house...I would tread slowly so as to not overload the rules. I like to emphasize to my child that we are a team, and team members help out each other...we both have to do things we don't like to do for the other sometimes.

Is Helena your grandaugher?

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helena needs love, stability, security, consistancy and regular meals. helena is the granddaughter of a friend. her mother will be a guest of the state for a while, her grandmother is having problems with the stress and has started drinking, again, while grandma gets sober, we're taking care of her. it's a much better situation for her then where she was: i'm going to start working on getting legal custody, so she can go to school near here and i can make the necessary decisions.

oh yes, i'm supposed to tell all of you she also puts peanuts foodbowl on the mat (while peanut sits) and helena likes setting the table, the napkins, fascinate her, there aren't names of fast food places on them...sigh...

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Originally Posted by joycenalex

helena needs love, stability, security, consistancy and regular meals. helena is the granddaughter of a friend. her mother will be a guest of the state for a while, her grandmother is having problems with the stress and has started drinking, again, while grandma gets sober, we're taking care of her. it's a much better situation for her then where she was: i'm going to start working on getting legal custody, so she can go to school near here and i can make the necessary decisions.

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You are a saint. I mean it.

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Originally Posted by joycenalex

helena needs love, stability, security, consistancy and regular meals. helena is the granddaughter of a friend. her mother will be a guest of the state for a while, her grandmother is having problems with the stress and has started drinking, again, while grandma gets sober, we're taking care of her. it's a much better situation for her then where she was: i'm going to start working on getting legal custody, so she can go to school near here and i can make the necessary decisions.

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Bless you for doing this. This brought tears to my eyes.

I don't want to embarress you, but I have to say thank you for having
a big enough heart to make room for this little soul. You can make a
big difference in her life. You are a good person.:)

no flippin way am i saint.....never!..when helena first stayed with us 2 years ago, her grandmother was recovering from foot surgery, and was wheelchair bound, quite honestly we fell into love, this kid got into my heart. she's funny, smart, has a smart mouth ( just a bit like me) laughs easily and she makes me a better human. i have a stable relationship, a home, enough time and money and the ability to make a safe secure place for her now. she's a neat kid. and i discovered today, i need better after school snacks

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Originally Posted by joycenalex

no flippin way am i saint.....never!..

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Tough shiat.;)

You were made a Saint-Sit back and enjoy it. :D

I really don't know much about toddler chores but I do want to say this is a very nice thing of you to do for her. I am sure Helena is adorable, and will appreciate it when she is older, although I hope her family situation gets better too. I'm so glad she has a 'mom' like you!

Oh, Joyce - you'll be raising a future Pet Talker, as she's already helping with Princess Peanut!

And just this week my friend found three children's books on manners that she was going to give me, it was you that was looking for them, wasn't it? A while ago?

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Originally Posted by Edwina's Secretary

You are a saint. I mean it.

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I think I will just ditto this................

You just may be the only thing in this child's life that will give her a sense of security - stability and love!! Bless you!

Is this the little girl who was with you at the Dog Park in Findlay? She's adorable.

And to reiterate what everyone else has said - you are a wonderful person, Joyce :)

yes that was helena and she LOVED jasmine (what a great great kid jasmine is) and still talks about the dog picnic. she speaks dog well, but cat is being learned. and yes karen it was me looking for the manners book, i didn't realize that i was such a fuddyduddy about this, but there are some things that are gross behaviors and i'd like to find ways to make manners fun (like chewing with your lips closed), and i thought maybe a kids book would be a starting place.