The final frontier, Clingons and no more tears.

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06-08-2008, 02:16 PM
RICHARD

The final frontier, Clingons and no more tears.

Space is the final frontier.

And there are places where no man has gone before and places that no man (or woman) should HAVE to go. This past week the space shuttle went up to the space station to fix a broken toilet. It's bad enough to think about traveling in a car and having to find a place to go potty, imagine pulling the International Space Station over for a potty break!:eek:

I was settling in for my Sunday morning TV viewing when I get my usual visit from my "room mate". He settles in to get some scritches and head rubs.......it's then I notice a slight stench about us.

It's not me, so I check the Edster and EWWWWWWWWW IT's a frigging clingon! I hit the warning button that sets off the horns all across the house....

I try to pry the offending alien material orbiting around the Furr-anus quadrant and get no where. This is going to be a little more complicated.

I place the Edster out doors while I gather the appropriate materials to attack this problem.

I grab the towel, shampoo, brush and good intentions.

We are going in!

-------------

I grab the cat and run into the bathroom. The door is shut and the cat looks at me, the closed door, back at me and IT IS ON!

To save water I start the shower, grab the cat and jump in.

Ed gets the first pass, but as I start to lather him up I notice his cries and howls are not that subtle. The shampoo I use promises "No More Tears" - yes, it's a baby shampoo and I have used it before- If it's good enough for a baby, it's good enough for my baby!- but why can't they invent a shampoo that will keep the cat from sounding like I am killing him?

I work towards the Clingon and that pops off like it's being repelled by some kind of force field! Almost done!!! I open the shower door so I can finish with my shower and my beauty issues!:rolleyes:

The Edster pops out and goes to the door to continue, but at a lower volume, his protests. I'm done and get ready to do some healing. I know that
I'll be the bad guy for the rest of the day.

After a few passes with the towel I am 'told' that my services are no longer needed. I wonder if that Clingon took over his mind!

Nope, no chance of that.....As I type this the Edster is grooming himself on his box on his desk. By suppertime all will be forgiven, the Clingon blasting towards some far off place on the planet and my friend, more or less, will be completely dry.

And someplace over the planet, the astronauts on the International Space Station are thrilled about the fact that their toilet is fixed.

I wonder what the protocol for Clingons in zero gravity is?:confused:
06-08-2008, 03:03 PM
Freedom

Quote:

Originally Posted by RICHARD

why can't they invent a shampoo that will keep the cat from sounding like I am killing him

If they do invent that, I KNOW there will be a line!

Very enjoyable read. Only a PT'er could make bathing a cat sound so humorous!

Did you clip his nails prior to the shower or were they already short?
06-08-2008, 03:18 PM
rg_girlca

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG RICHARD!!!!! I have tears blurring my eyes from laughter. That story is one of your funniest. Maybe because of the subject, I don't know, but thank you so much for making my day.

Great story, GREAT writing and all in all, great subject.:D
06-08-2008, 03:42 PM
catmandu

I HAD THAT THREE TIMES WITH POOR MR FLUFFY WHO WITH HIS SHAGGY COAT WOULD GET CLINGONS IF I WASNT CREAFUL AND OCCASIONALLY CLIP AROUND THE QUADRANT.
HE WOULD CRY, BUT NOT FIGHT, AS I THINK HE HAD A BIT OF THE RAG DOLL IN HIM, HE NEVER FOUGHT OR WAS EVER AGGRESSIVE.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...FLUFFYcopy.jpg
MY DEAR MR FLUFFY, I AM GOING TO HAVE TO POST YOUR STORY ONE DAY, YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD AND GENTLE COMPANION.
06-08-2008, 03:49 PM
lvpets2002

:p Only this would happen to you Richard.. great story // still chuckling
06-08-2008, 05:13 PM
moosmom

Quote:

I notice his cries and howls are not that subtle

You mean like a cat in heat perhaps??? Or a cat getting skinned alive. That's what happens when I try to trim my grandkitty's nails. She hates my guts and hisses everytime I come over.

By the way, did you happen to locate the alien clingon????
06-08-2008, 06:08 PM
RICHARD

Quote:

Originally Posted by moosmom

You mean like a cat in heat perhaps??? Or a cat getting skinned alive. That's what happens when I try to trim my grandkitty's nails. She hates my guts and hisses everytime I come over.

By the way, did you happen to locate the alien clingon????

LOL,
Yeah, kinda like someone was giving him a bath!;)

The Clingon is swimming somewhere underneath the city on it's way to the Hyperion water treatment plant.....Probably passing by Gini's house by now!:eek:

HE smells so good, like a baby now. I let him go to granny's house for some 'good behavior' time.....he was asleep in middle of the floor in the front room....and still ignoring me.

-----------------
Now that I think about it....

From the rear he looked like a Tribble with a Clingon hanging on to his arse.

Thank god it wasn't a Borg. What would I have done then?:confused::eek::rolleyes:

------
Freedom,

There was no time to clip the nails before the bath. This Clingon was of the fragrant variety.
I throw up easily! ;)
06-08-2008, 06:15 PM
Freedom

Quote:

Originally Posted by RICHARD

Freedom,

There was no time to clip the nails before the bath

OUCH!! I am glad you survived! :eek:
06-08-2008, 06:15 PM
krazyaboutkatz

LOL I sure can relate to your story because my Ziggy gets these all the time. She's not very good at grooming herself and hasn't learned how to sit in the litterbox without soiling herself.:rolleyes: I try to keep her trimmed back there but there's only so much that I can do. On her next annual vet visit which will be in 2 weeks she'll be getting her bottom area shaved so I hope that his will help. Maybe this is what Ed needs too.:)
06-08-2008, 07:14 PM
RICHARD

Quote:

Originally Posted by krazyaboutkatz

On her next annual vet visit which will be in 2 weeks she'll be getting her bottom area shaved so I hope that his will help. Maybe this is what Ed needs too.:)

Don't you mean a Bikini Wax?:eek:

Ed's pretty good at not having that happen, I only remember it happening once before. So I think it's just a freaky happening....kinda like a Star Trek episode.

Maybe I did something to him in the last week that ticked him off?:eek:
06-08-2008, 07:35 PM
momtomany

OMG this is so funny. Thanks for sharing and brightening up the day for so many of us.
06-09-2008, 09:32 AM
moosmom

It must be one laugh after another at your house. Your poor mother. You must keep her in stitches.
06-09-2008, 11:26 AM
critters

ROFL!! I have to give Ari a bath today, but it can be a serious advantage to bathe somebody so severely disabled. I just LOVE it when she smells so yummy! :love:
06-09-2008, 03:12 PM
orangemm

Richard, my mental picture of your (ahem) adventures leaves me ROTFLMAO! You and the Edster are HOOTS!:D:D:D
06-10-2008, 12:37 PM
RICHARD

The Edster came to lie with me last night....He still smells baby fresh!:love:

-------

Adventures? It's more like trials and tribulations!
But I have a blast anyway. Part of the fun is thinking about how it will translate into a story!

Mom lives next door. SO she is kinda safe from the excitement!
06-10-2008, 01:23 PM
slick

Quote:

To save water I start the shower, grab the cat and jump in. Ed gets the first pass, but as I start to lather him up I notice his cries and howls are not that subtle.

Poor Edster. He not only had to suffer a shower but also a shower with daddy nikked....or did daddy leave his clothes on???? :eek::p
06-10-2008, 01:54 PM
RICHARD

Quote:

Originally Posted by slick

Poor Edster. He not only had to suffer a shower but also a shower with daddy nikked....or did daddy leave his clothes on???? :eek::p

OH, you shower with your clothes on?;):D