how do you tell someone to quit feeding your dog "human" food, without being rude?

okay so here is the situation! (sorry about the grammar and punctuation)

My fiance and i have lived together for 4 years now, and for almost three years we have owned two yorkies. which are our lives! but considering the breed and the size we never gave them "human" treats. i mean we would give them doggie treats but occasionally we would give them like a little very little, piece of pizza crust or something like that. but it was very very very seldom that we did that.

for the last 4 monts we have been living with his parents, and his dad likes little dogs but has never had little dogs, especially inside dogs. but oddly enough he really likes them, A LOT!!!! he and my fiances mom have only ever had hound dogs or coon dogs, nothing like a yorkie. so his dad thinks that he can feed them everything he eats, and that is not and understatement, he literally gives them everything he eats. Ie: eggs, bread, bologna, turkey, pb&j, everything a human would eat! and he even has my fiances brother and girlfriend putting their plates in the floor for them to lick clean! i cannot stand them doing this and have asked them over and over again to not do it, but they just wont listen to me.

so, does anyone have any advice on how to ask them to quit where they will listen to me, because they are my dogs, and i have the right to say what they eat and when they eat it, you know? i am worried for their health!

To be honest, you have to be blunt and rude. These are YOUR dogs. Explain that feeding them table scraps, especially from your plate, is showing these dogs are equal to or above you, not to mention teaching them bad habits such as begging. Explain to your FIL that if he wants to continue feeding them table scraps, that's fine, but he will also be responsible for re-training out any bad behaviors that result from it as well.

Also explain that it can be bad for their systems - give them diarrhea. Their systems are much more sensitive than ours. Their food should already be nutritionally complete so feeding "extras" like that can throw off their entire nutrition. It can also lead to obesity, so you should also explain to him that for every table scrap he feeds, he needs to take them for one walk around the block, rain or shine ;)

If you have to come to a happy medium, at least explain to him that table scraps are fine AS LONG as they are moderate, saves them until AFTER he is finished eating, and places them in their bowls before giving them to them.

I had a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge problem with my parents doing that with my dogs when they would dog sit, they thought begging was just so cute, when I would get them back I'd have to re-train their bad habits back out of them... got to the point where I yelled at my mother and said "you know what? FINE! If you don't want to listen to me, do things your way, YOU deal with them from now on, I quit!!" and that these were MY dogs and she may not agree with my methods but she had at least respect me and my methods. And if she treats my dogs like this I'm scared to think of how she'll be when I have kids.... :( I just really had to explain to my mother that the reason my dogs were so well-behaved was because of consistancy and constant training and if she did not help reinforce that she was untraining them and then SHE would have to deal with the consequences (if they were at her house, etc). She quickly learned not to leave food on the ground, to cover the trashcan, to not feed from her plate, etc.

So just explain to them WHY you don't want them to do it.

If nothing else works, demand they stop, be firm, and put your foot down.

They obviously have little respect for your opinions. If you could afford
it, take them to a doggie day care while you are at work. Maybe then
they could understand you mean what you say about your dogs.

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Originally Posted by Jessika

To be honest, you have to be blunt and rude. These are YOUR dogs. Explain that feeding them table scraps, especially from your plate, is showing these dogs are equal to or above you, not to mention teaching them bad habits such as begging. Explain to your FIL that if he wants to continue feeding them table scraps, that's fine, but he will also be responsible for re-training out any bad behaviors that result from it as well.

Also explain that it can be bad for their systems - give them diarrhea. Their systems are much more sensitive than ours. Their food should already be nutritionally complete so feeding "extras" like that can throw off their entire nutrition. It can also lead to obesity, so you should also explain to him that for every table scrap he feeds, he needs to take them for one walk around the block, rain or shine ;)

If you have to come to a happy medium, at least explain to him that table scraps are fine AS LONG as they are moderate, saves them until AFTER he is finished eating, and places them in their bowls before giving them to them.

I had a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge problem with my parents doing that with my dogs when they would dog sit, they thought begging was just so cute, when I would get them back I'd have to re-train their bad habits back out of them... got to the point where I yelled at my mother and said "you know what? FINE! If you don't want to listen to me, do things your way, YOU deal with them from now on, I quit!!" and that these were MY dogs and she may not agree with my methods but she had at least respect me and my methods. And if she treats my dogs like this I'm scared to think of how she'll be when I have kids.... :( I just really had to explain to my mother that the reason my dogs were so well-behaved was because of consistancy and constant training and if she did not help reinforce that she was untraining them and then SHE would have to deal with the consequences (if they were at her house, etc). She quickly learned not to leave food on the ground, to cover the trashcan, to not feed from her plate, etc.

So just explain to them WHY you don't want them to do it.

If nothing else works, demand they stop, be firm, and put your foot down.

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well this is the thing, i have pretty much been as straight forward with them as i can. but i am worried if i get anymore rude or straight forward they will kick us out, they are understanding people, but they dont have very long fuses if you know what i mean. i have told them that i would appreciate it VERY much if they would not feed them human food, but they just wont listen, and i have even called them today and told them that it can kill them or give them pancritatis (however you spell it)! i just dont know what else to do, i wish that i had the money for a doggie day care, but where i live the population is around 900 if that, so there are no doggie day cares around here. and i dont take them places with me unless they can get out, Ie: i dont take them with me if i have to go to wal mart, because i will not leave them outside in the car alone. well every year my fiance and his parents and i go x-mas shopping, and this past year his parents decided to bring them with us! i was so flustered, because i didn't know they were bringing them until we were already on our way, and it was to late to take them back. and they dont understand why i am protective like that, but those are my kids and they were very expensive! you know! i just dont know...:(

Maybe if you explain to them that if they love the little dogs so much why are they doing something that can KILL them? Eating people food, particularly large amounts or greasy/fatty foods can cause severe pancreatitis which can kill a dog. I've seen dogs at work die, despite treatement, from one piece of pizza, ham with gravy on it, and burgers. It's not something they should take lightly if they care for the dog. Just because they've fed those things to other dogs, and even yours, and the dog did not get sick, doesn't mean that they won't.

If they don't listen to that then there's no hope for them ever listening and I'd be making arrangements to have the dogs at day care when you aren't there and getting an apartment of your own ASAP.

Good luck.

How does your fiance feel about this? Maybe since it's his parents that are doing this, they'd listen to him more so than you. Or maybe you both could sit them down and talk to them. Very direct and straightforward. "We don't want you feeding our dogs excess human food. We had dog treats for that...." etc..

They need to realize that the dogs are you and your fiance's responsibility and they need to listen to you two about their care. Or maybe they could join you at your next vet visit and you could have your Vet explain the problems with feeding dogs (Esp Toy breeds) excess human food. Maybe they'd listen to someone with a degree?

Good luck.

Here's what I tell my classes: there are house rules and EVERYONE has to be consistent. You need to know what the rules of the house are in order to tell the dog the rules.

Problem here is your future father in law isn't going to change his way of thinking. So no consistency. Also, you are in HIS house, so basically its HIS rules.

Just be happy your future father in law has taken to your pup so beautifully. He's probably thinking he's treating the pups to a great treat. Perhaps a little POLITE information on toxicity and such will change his mind. Perhaps a trip to the pet supply store for him to pick out doggy treats is in order.

The way I look at it? Don't make a big issue of this. Its a little food for a temporary living situation. As long as he's not feeding anything that is toxic to dogs, then let it go. Begging is more about the attention they get from the dinner table than the food. Supplement the human food with good doggy food (less of it though so they don't gain weight).

Is this the best solution? Not for the dog, but it is for the interest of keeping your fiance's parents happy. If someone moved into our house and started dictating how my husband or I should behave in our own house, that guest would be very unwelcome very quickly.

Maybe next time you take your doggies for a vet check (heck, invent one! ;) )
bring back note from the vet about the "diet" they have been put on. Hopefully you will have several pieces of paper from the vet, and maybe your FIL will have a look through. "Oh, yeah, he gave us stuff about the dogs, I haven't read through it yet.", and hand it to him or just set it down somewhere.

Or - "Don't ask me, as your vet." I assume they used to have one?

HUGS!

Somewhere along the evolutionary path, it got into the human mind that feeding = showing affection and love. So, if your in-laws feel compelled to feed your dogs tidbits, provide them with healthy, low-calorie snacks that you can easily burn off with a daily walk.

For example, keep a bowl of plain boiled peas or carrots or apples in the kitchen. Should your father ever feel the need to feed the dogs, let him take a bit of a veggie or fruit and give it to the dogs. If you're lucky, the dogs will dislike the food. If not, so be it. In the meantime, ask your in-laws to go to the vet with you and have him explain the potential severity of the situation.

As they say, edumucation is the answer ;)

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Originally Posted by catnapper

The way I look at it? Don't make a big issue of this. Its a little food for a temporary living situation. As long as he's not feeding anything that is toxic to dogs, then let it go. Begging is more about the attention they get from the dinner table than the food. Supplement the human food with good doggy food (less of it though so they don't gain weight).

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Excellent advice. Just keep telling youself, this is only temporary, and
save money like mad till you guys can get your own place. Good luck.

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Originally Posted by lizbud

Excellent advice. Just keep telling youself, this is only temporary, and
save money like mad till you guys can get your own place. Good luck.

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Thank you all for the advice! i am taking it in very well! and hopefully some or all of it will work.

I think I would do the same as Catty 1. Just tell them the vet put them on a strict diet because they are getting pancreatitis from all the human food and you are sooo scared you will lose them if their tests don't show better next time....what's a little white lie to save your dogs and keep peace in the family...lol?

Difficult situation and only one way to deal with it..... LIE!

It does not matter what breed, size or where the dog is living - human food as treats is not going to help anyone.

So .... not nice to lie to the inlaws but you guys need some control over how your dogs behave as it is your responsibility.

If parents/ in-laws/friends will not listen to you then start to take your dogs "to the vet" because they have started behaving oddly, the have red skin patches and are starting to lose hair. The "vet" does some tests and gives a very grim outlook for the dogs - high blood pressure, high cholestral, changes to brain patterns etc.

This, of course, costs you an absolute fortune! Ask if the parents can lend you money to cover the costs. Say you would rather have the dogs put down than let them suffer like this!!!! Say that you don't understand how this is still happening, it must be the neighbours, after you told the in-laws how important not feeding titbits was.

I actually couldn't do this but have a friend who does VERY well

While the white lies are not a bad idea, if it comes to that, I would be more inclined to be blunt and to-the-point.

Let them know, in no uncertain terms, that they ARE NOT to feed human food. Search the internet for info, or get pamphlets from the vet to support this. Tell them bluntly, "I have asked you this in the past, now I am TELLING you, DO NOT feed my dogs human food! It is not healthy for them, and I do not want to lose them prematurely to obesity-related illnesses!"

I am much more assertive when it comes to this sort of thing. NO ONE messes with my dogs, unless they want to go through me!

My Manero is a prime example: he gets colitis (often bloody) if he gets too many rich treats, especially at shows. He gets so worked up at shows, that his stomach gets sensitive. When people give him bait that he is not used to, it results in problems. These days, he does not show often, but when he does, I have to ask friends not to feed him.

An example: about two years ago, he won breed at a show. He was acting restless before group, so I took him outside. He had bloody diarrhea! I was mortified, but I know it was not anything threatening - it's just who he is. I barely got him cleaned up in time for group. We almost had to pack it in and go home.

You FIL sounds slightly like my father (for your sake, I hope not). But my dad used to feed our Min Pin table scraps and all of us, my mom, my sister (who is now a vet tech) and myself used to yell at him for doing it. We used to keep Kodi in a different room so he could not give him food while he was eating dinner. Of course Kodi would always go in after to clean up the floor around his chair. But that is much less than he'd get from my father.
If it's possible, keep the dogs out of the room during dinner.

I've got the same situation. I had to move back in with my parents and I thought they would make me get rid of my animals. I had to give my cat up so my grandfather is doing me the favor of taking care of him until I can get my own place. My parents love my dog though. They feed her anything they are eating. I keep trying to tell them that its not safe for her because she is so small. They have a Rottweiler that eats EVERYTHING from chicken bones to raw meat sometimes. For some reason my father thinks raw meat every once in a while is good for dogs. Dont know if its true or not. I have fought with them for months but they still have not stopped. My Amaya will no longer eat dog food. Her food stays in her bowl until someone throws human food in there. She has gotten a bad habit of begging at the dinner table. She doesnt do it to me because she knows I wont give her any food. My parents started to sneak it behind my back but I know what they've done when I have to clean up the nasty "messes" Amaya leaves behind. The only thing I can do at this point is keep saving money and looking for a house of my own.