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I've been agonizing over an academic decision lately and I know I'm making a big deal out of something ultimately not worth all the stress. I wish I could see into my future and see which decision is best!
How do you decide what to do when you have to make a major decision in your life?
Someone told me once, when in doubt- don't. I think that can mean some risks aren't taken, and those risks may pay off, but, it always seems like the best decision for me.
Oh BOY have I been there...a couple of years ago I was thinking of going to grad school, even got as far as getting accepted and scheduling orientation. I drove myself crazy (and everyone else around me) trying to decide what to do. I asked everyone's advice that I could think of, I prayed over it, talked to some of my old professors...I really obsessed over it for a long time. I felt like it was such a big decision, and I didn't want to make the wrong choice. Finally I just sat down with myself, tuned everyone else out, and made a "pro" and "con" list. I realized that what I really wanted to do was be a mom, and I didn't want to work full time. I figured that spending that amount of money on a graduate degree would be pointless at that time of my life if I wouldn't be working enough to pay the student loans. I have never regretted my decision to not go back to school. ((((hugs)))) and good luck with whatever you decide (and sorry this ended up being so long!)
I read a book that profoundly changed how I make decisions - it's called "Joy is My Compass" (by Alan Cohen). Joy is what guides me in deciding what will bring me the greater satisfaction with my life. If I'm thinking about two directions to go, I go with the one that feels more joyful & light -- it's where my heart will be.
The journey (even if it looks longer or harder) will not be a burden when your heart is light. :)
I just readthis thread, maybe it would help clarify your choices. What an inspiration!
Flip a coin?
:p
I usually do as someone else said, make up a list of Pros & Cons. The
answer usually becomes very evident for me. Good luck with yours. :)
And if that choice doesn't feel quite right, then you probably have your answer. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by jackie
Then FLIP Two more times!Quote:
Originally Posted by Kater
Best outa Three corrects for any Bad Tosses!
:D
Cyber-Sibes, I'm reading a book by Alan Cohen now called "Why Your Life Sucks - And What You Can Do About It" :)Quote:
Originally Posted by cyber-sibes
Pembroke Corgi, I do both. I hate making big decisions because I'm always afraid I'll make the wrong choice, so I sit down and make a do it/don't do it list and that usually helps me to see it one way or the other.
About flipping a coin - I've read that a coin toss can be effective because it can make you realize which one you're preferring.
I have a co-worker who always says "Better the devil you know than the one you don't" if that helps you at all.
I will be at a crossroad next spring - after I graduate from the Ohio State Univ. and if I am with Mike still, I may possibly consider something. I just feel that Mike is "it" for me right now, but who knows a year later?
:eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by CountryWolf07
GOOD GRIEF!! :( "*IF*" ??
Will you STOP *obsessing* over the possibility of breaking up!?
Geepers-Kreeperz ... keep it up and it might happen! :(
Just ENJOY your relationship with Mike ~ and STOP *worrying* about it!
Enjoy ! ENJOY! ... (And you'll BOTH be Happier Campers!)
:D
Oh no, I didn't mean it like that at all! What I meant was, "if", is that, life is full of surprises and you just never know. Of course I'm enjoying my relationship with Mike! We both are happy. I'm not worried. I have no reason to be. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Cinder & Smoke
By the way, I *do* worry too much, mainly more with school/graduation. Mike is my motivation, last night he told me he was happy to see me make it through another quarter and it'll be soon over enough. :)
;)Quote:
Originally Posted by CountryWolf07
Exactly my point!!
DON'T worry ~~~ BE HAPPY!!
Now TRY it!
:)
:D
I have used a book called "What colour is your parachute?" It is helpful in that it makes you think of your choices through many different lenses and it tries to get you to consider the pros and cons of a decision.
But having said that, I have learned that getting additional education is usually worth it and I have never regretted my decisions to go to university (3 times).
I never found lists of pros and cons especially helpful.
But if you really listen to yourself- you may find out that you know already.
I have often been in the situation that I tried to push myself in a certain direction with very good rational arguments and was in an in-between situation for quite some time.... and then I noticed that someone deep inside me had already taken the decision and it was opposed to the good arguments- but it always was the right decision :D
Trust yourself- you'll know :D
Thanks for all of the helpful advice! It's really been helpful and I will definitely refer back to this thread the next time I need advice on how to make up my mind. Sometimes I just feel so indecisive!
I've decided to just stick with my master's degree program (was thinking of switching for various reasons) as I can always pursue another one later if my degree isn't quite right for the doctorate program I want. I'm almost half way done so I decided I didn't want to waste all of my hard work switching in the middle of the game.
OK - oops, too late, you've decided...but in case for future reference....
When I have had a REALLY tough decision to make, like my move to Alberta some 8 years ago, I use this idea I heard about. It sounds morbid, but it really is not.
Imagine yourself at the end of your life (deathbed) reviewing your past life. Look back at the decision you made - look back at all the options, and you will know which one you will have been glad you did much later.
I did come to Alberta here, though I was in a horrible rage for the first year. But I did get to spend fun time with my sister, before she took a bad turn and died in 2006. And I was able to get close to my mom, which I had never really done because I travelled so much in my last job.
Good luck!