I hope my plans happen....

I have just promised myself that I will leave my current job by March 1, 2008. I have been tortured by this decision for months now and I do believe I have a plan in place to get me by until I can find a more rewarding job.....gosh, there isn't anything any worse than dreading going to your daily job. I just cannot do battle anymore. I am exhausted.

I have also begun the ball rolling to get my Mom in to an assisted living arrangement and should have that completed about the same time, if not sooner. I am thinking sooner.

I plan to give my employers notice some time in January. I have already forewarned them time after time, that I am going to "retire" soon. The fact is that I just cannot take the pressure, no matter how much they offer to pay me. Combat pay is not what I am looking for.

It will take some adjustments on my behalf. It may be tough for awhile. But I am a hard worker, multi-tasker and have always managed to land on my feet.

I cannot think about passing away from this life in maybe, oh, five years or so, from now, and still being employed where I am now. The stress will kill me before then, anyway. I need a better, more relaxed life. If it means living on peanut butter and jelly for a while, then so be it.

Anyway, I will keep you all posted about these changes as they happen. I am hoping someone will keep asking me about the two important events so that I won't back burner them as I have been doing for months now.

I am scared, for sure.

Love,
Sas and her campers :eek:

SAS,

So sorry to hear about the job. I think many can relate and I was in a similar position to you previously. I was 'promoted' at my last job and given 'combat' pay and I fell apart in the new position. I also gave them my notice of leaving and it was the best thing. Sure, I was out of work for a while but it does give your mental state time to relax and search for new opportunities. Opportunities are always out there, but sometimes you need a new direction to find them.

It must be also hard dealing with your mother's issues as well as your own.I hope all works out well for the both of you and the new year brings new directions.

I am with you on that nothing is worse that having to get up every morning and go to a job you HATE! Life is to short to be miserable.. Nobody needs a stressful job, no matter what they pay! GOOD LUCK, it sounds like you will land on your feet....

I've been thinking of you and praying for the situation with your mom. Thanks for posting a bit of an update on that. I didn't now the employment was also an issue. Goodness, you really will enjoy Springtime this year, with so many weights lifted; stick to the plan, you deserve the break to gather your wits!

SAS, I believe you will be making the right decision - keeping a job where you get stressed is just no good! Your health is much more important!! I too will rather live on a low budget than coming home exhausted from a job I hate, so I fully understand you. Do you have the option of going part time?

Getting your mom in to an assisted place, will take a load off your shoulders, and I do hope you’ll find a place that she likes. Are there long waiting lists like here?

You can be the strong one for only so long, until it all crashes on you, and then, you won’t be of any help to your mom or to yourself, so take some time off to think about things, relax and do the things YOU like! :)

I wish you the best of luck with it all, and please keep us updated!

Big hugs from,
Randi

Sas you know how much I bear with you. This last year has been a little bit too much, even for the strong person you are.
I send you all my best wishes and warmest hugs. When you are really down in life the roads will start to lead upwards. :)

Thank you for your oh so positive comments.

My Mom will have a choice of where she goes if she is ok with going somewhere outside the major city of Burlington. Since she is totally unfamiliar with the area anyway, the only person being inconvenienced is me. So I am going to concentrate on the timing rather than the distance. I have already inquired with a couple of folks who already have grandparents at assisted living. So I have a few places in mind. Once I visit the place(s) it will be a matter of making the arrangements to have furniture moved etc.

I doubt if my Mom will care much either way, as she has severe short term memory loss. One day just blurrs into the next. Sounds like my life...... anyway, she will be easy, and she has been in assisted living before. She grew tired of it and so did I. Now, I just don't have the strength to keep up her care 24/7...... although she is independent in many ways, she depends on me for all her food/pills/thinking...... but she can dress herself and feed herself. She does not prepare food.

The job thing, well, this has happened before. I worked in Phila. before this job and burned out there too. I left on good terms - and I left. That is what I need to do here too. The big difference is that at this current place, no one knows my job. At the Phila. firm, I had an understudy and she stepped right in. She didn't last long, but that is another story.

So thanks for your positive thoughts. I need all the support I can get. Isn't it funny how sometimes one is soooo strong and confident and then whammo, the next thing you know you feel like you are twelve and can't fight your way out of a wet paperbag. Boy do I feel like the paperbag owns me right now.

I must be strong. And I know that I am not twelve! I still feel like it when I talk to my furry friends......and smile......they ground me when times are tough.

Thanks for listening.

P. S. Has anyone heard from NicoleJ other than that sad post a couple of days ago? I am worried about her.

Just adding my .2 cents here, and I am sure you know about this, but just in case.....;)


I don't know the name of the program in Vermont, but here in AZ it is Medicaid, and if or when your mother runs short of money, this program will kick in and continue to pay for her assisted living arraingments - provided the home she is going to accepts this.

My mother put her aunt in a home, thinking she would pass before she ran out of money - WRONG!!!!

My mother now has to either come up with the monthly fee herself or move her 94 year old aunt who needs full attention because she had a stroke a year ago that has left her totally paralzed :rolleyes: both my sister & I warned her, but she thought she knew what she was doing.......


So the moral here is, be prepared!!!

Good luck on finding a new job, you will be surprised on how many doors will open for you now that you have made your decision :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sasvermont

The job thing, well, this has happened before. I worked in Phila. before this job and burned out there too. I left on good terms - and I left. That is what I need to do here too. The big difference is that at this current place, no one knows my job. At the Phila. firm, I had an understudy and she stepped right in. She didn't last long, but that is another story.

---

Please don't make this your problem, it isn't. It was up to them to cross
train people, not you. That said, I am wishing you the very best of luck
and good timing to do the things you need to do for yourself. :) I suspect
you are a strong person and I know you will be so much happier. :)

Sas, I hope things get better for you soon.
Good luck with finding a new job and finding a nice place for your mom.
This month is really busy for me with work and our house renovations but maybe in January we can get together, there's always the Cat Show to go to! :)
Let me know if there's anything I can do for you, I'm not that far away from you.
Hugs to you and all the Campers too. :)

Prayers and good thoughts going out to you. I am not sure what your plans are for assisted living, but medicare will not pay for anything until you have used up all but $2000.00 of the patients money. In my area many of the private facilities do not take medicare at all, those that do (they only take a certain percentage) have a waiting list of anywhere from two-five years. But there may be public (state run) facilities in your area that will take medicare right away. Good luck with all of your plans, I will keep you on my prayer list.

SAS, I'm sorry to hear that you've been under so much stress lately and I hope that everything will work out for you and your mom in the future. You'll remain in my thoughts and prayers. Please take care.

SAS,

There comes a time when decisions like that have to be made in order to find peace for yourself. It took me 12 years of working for attorneys on top of caring for my elderly Dad to figure that out. But you know that.

You're in my prayers, Sallyanne. Remember to take care of yourself and breath!!

Love and (((((HUGS))))))

Donna

I have to echo Liz here...
It's not your job to find a replacement for you!
That should be the furthest from your mind, you have enough to worry about!

{{{hugs}}} and prayers to you and your mom.

One time, and only for about 4 months, did I have a job I truly dreaded. It was the worst feeling in the world. You go to bed thinking about what you have to do the next day, and you wake up the next day having to go into work. I can't imagine what it would feel like to do this day in and day out.

Glad to hear you have the plan in place, and are taking the steps towards implementation.

Sallyanne, something tells me that you are going to land on your feet, in a better place. But I'm going to keep you in my prayers, anyway. This is no way for your to live. My husband is in a similar position and I know that both of you will be much happier, healthier people when your situations are better. A bad work situation affects everything around you, even those things that are normally happy.

Logan

Sallyanne...my husband too just went through a horrible time jobwise -- he had been with the company for 33 years. But change is inevitable and it wasn't right for him.

He left the company. Shortly thereafter he went to the doctor for an ear infection. The doctor was amazed...his blood pressure was down so much!

He has found a new opportunity without the relentless pounding he endured. And he is the better for it.

I don't know if you read my posting in another thread of yours. Is being self-employed an option for you? Could you work out something with your current employer for leads and recommendations? I did that a few years ago and, though it has taken some time, it is working. PM me if you would like to discuss it some more.

My thoughts are with you....

A bad job can really wreck your life. I'm glad you have decided to get out.

I have a job that isn't really so bad. But after 18 years I managed to cut my hours to 24 a week. The difference in my attitude is amazing. I can live on peanut butter sandwiches if it makes me feel this good.

If you could work only part time, the issues with your mother may change.

I wish you lots of luck and intestinal fortitude. Just don't wait too long to get started.

Well Sallyanne you have made yourself accountable to the whole PT world. :p If March rolls around and you are still in that paper bag we will rattle it!! In all seriousness I hear so well what you are saying. My own mom is in assisted living and it is a Godsend. I know you will do your homework in researching the best facility and your mom will do just fine.

I agree with Lizbud about your job situation. It is their problem not yours. I once gave my employer eight weeks' notice. He waited until two weeks before my departure date to hire someone. He never even started the search until a week before that. I felt that the training I gave the new girl was far from sufficient but I never lost any sleep over it.

Please do take care of yourself and the campers and keep checking in to let us know when you take the first step to your new life.

(((hugs)))

Sallyanne, what you are doing has my vote too. Life's way to short to be miserable every day.
Prayers, positive thoughts and love on the way.

Sallyanne,

I am glad that you have reached some decisions about what you are going to do. Life is too short to be miserable, whether it is a job or a relationship. I have been there and done that and it was horrible. The best thing I did was leave.

I know that you are making the right decision for your mother.

P.S. Vermont state has some very good programs for people in the position of Sallyanne's mother, so there should be help available to her that isn't found in other states.

Well, today I let the partners know that I was leaving the firm. Their reaction was priceless and yet they were not sure if I was being serious or just pushing their buttons. Rather than burn my bridges, I told them I had way, way too much stress in my life and I needed to make the change effective March 1. I think they were thrilled that I didn't just walk out.

The staff is happy for me, as they know how long I have been taking a beating. I don't think they (the staffer) will leave the firm any time soon, as my leaving is probably going to scare them (the owners) in to good behavior. They were so chatty with me this afternoon and falling all over themselves. I think they are afraid I will bring a suit against them. I mean, I had guys throwing phone books at me, tripping me, slamming doors in my face, cursing at me....and each other, nasty memos...just childish awful things. The rest of the staff has their share of exposure but my treatment was rough because I have the power to call them on their behavior although it took quite a bit for me to so it. I would tell them that they needed help, mentally and they would agree.... But guess what, that didn't help. My guess is that they will come up with some complicated departure contract for me to sign, saying I won't sue them. Whatever. I just want out.

My case worker for my mom, called today. I was offered a place for her, but I know the place and I wouldn't put my cats there, let alone my mom. So we are going to hold out for a couple of places I know about. It will take about 30 days to get through the process, so I suspect my mom's move will happen after the 1st of the year.

So things are not all better, but I do feel as though I have this huge monkey off my back. Just a couple of more monkeys to deal with.... Now I need to find a new place to hang my hat. I've done it before. I am going to downscale my life style a bit. Not that I was making a fortune, but I will miss the money. Oh well. I like peanut butter.

Thanks for listening and caring.

(((((((((((((((((Pet Talkers))))))))))))))

Love,
Sas and her campers ;)

Quote:

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Oh well. I like peanut butter.

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PM me with your addy, and I will send your favorite jam and some honey! ;)

You're getting there!

Oh boy, what can I say except good on you girl and do what's right for you. I so wish I had your guts. I can't believe you've been putting up with all that crap for so long. Downsizing, maybe so but you can't put a price on your own well-being.

I used to love my job. Now I just like it. I used to look forward to coming to work every day. Now I work to pay the bills. I used to feel like I made a contribution. Now I feel like a pee-on.

My boss of 19 yrs retired in March, 2007 and in July my new boss arrived. I was in the panel interview and I (along with the rest of the IT staff) recommended that the company hire her. I deeply, deeply regret that decision. She had made our lives miserable. Our stress levels are off the chart, so much so that for the first time in years, I've racked up some sick days (except for my cancer sir jury last year). A couple of those days I could have come to work but.....you know, I just couldn't muster up the energy for it. Right now she's on holidays and the atmosphere is so much more relaxing. I've gotten more work done in the past two days than the past two weeks.

She is so condescending and thinks she knows more about the organization than I do and I've been here 22 yrs. When she gets back from vacation, all of us are going to sit down with her in a non-confrontational forum and just talk. She needs to hear what we have to say and how we felt when she said "a-b-c". Hopefully it will result in a management-style change for her, but we'll see. God I hate Managers who micro-manage.:mad:

I wish I could just retire but I have so much invested and the perks are not bad either. I'm going to ride out the storm and wait to be "eliminated". That way I can ask for a ginormous severence pay that will do me for about 2 years. Then I can travel and meet Pet Talkers, and do volunteer work, and, and....oh I can hardly wait! :D

We love you Sas. Hang in there girl and start counting the days.
slick
xoxo

I could not be happier for you. I admire your courage in implementing your plan right now - and I bet it did take a huge load off of your shoulders.

Pat Talk loves you - you are a valuable member - and even though you might not accept it from us - I bet we could provide you with peanut butter and other pantry staples to keep you going for a year or more!

Keep posting - keep telling us about it - somehow this may just get funnier and funnier as the days go on. Betcha they are talking among themselves pretty good about now.............the scales have tipped now in your favor - did you know you did that? Well, keep them guessing about what you are going to do.

And - maybe you can have some fun...............how about a nice hot bubble bath for yourself this evening - you deserve it!

Sallyanne...you are in the catbird seat. I know I don't need to tell you this (you have worked in a law firm long enough to know... ;) ) do NOT sign anything for free. They want you to sign a release...fine...what's the consideration? On the other hand...do not burn bridges...they can be very valuable to you in the future.

It's kinda exciting, isn't it?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sasvermont

I think they are afraid I will bring a suit against them. I mean, I had guys throwing phone books at me, tripping me, slamming doors in my face, cursing at me....and each other, nasty memos...just childish awful things. The rest of the staff has their share of exposure but my treatment was rough because I have the power to call them on their behavior although it took quite a bit for me to so it. I would tell them that they needed help, mentally and they would agree.... But guess what, that didn't help. My guess is that they will come up with some complicated departure contract for me to sign, saying I won't sue them. Whatever. I just want out.

---

As for suing them, these folks reallly need to wonder if that just might happen. The less you say, the better as their own guilty conscience will have their minds racing. And as ES says, don't sign anything unless it is well worth it.

This is Pam replying from Robyn's computer as I am in Maryland this morning.


Sallyanne, good job! I know that this baby step has helped enormously in your mental wellbeing. I am very proud of you and wish for you only the best. I know there is something out there that will be rewarding where you will be with people who will appreciate your contributions. My sister-in-law is going through similar turmoil right now in her job. The pay is great but the stress is awful. She had to run into the ladies room the other day for a cry. (Never let them see you sweat is her motto!) I truly do believe you both will wind up on top!

Good for you on being so patient to wait for the proper place for your Mom. You need to be confident that she will be receiving the best of care or your stress will be replaced with guilt and you don't need that.

You know you have so many friends here that there will be never-ending deliveries of peanut butter for years to come. ((((hugs)))) to you my friend.

This will be brief...no pun intended (I work for a law firm...)

The partners have been falling all over themselves, being sweet to me. That is how it should have been these past 10 years.

I am not going to play any games with them. They know me by now. And, unforturnately I know them oh too well, too. I am prepared for them to let me go when they find it convenient.

They just gave me a nice Christmas bonus (and nice ones to the staff persons too)....that won't do it for me. I earned the money, the hard way.

The marriage (employment) is over, and boy do I know it. I cannot wipe the smile off my face.

I am being taken to lunch tomorrow by the managing partner, to my favorite restaurant. What, do they think I am stupid? And can be bought? Do they think I was born yesterday? Gosh, time cannot pass soon enough. They end of February, and I am outta here, big time.

I expect the new few weeks to be busy, and one big "let's make Sallyanne stay" fest. Too late!

Thanks for you love and support. I need it.

Sounds like just giving notice has lessened your burdens! Oh, that is great. I was worried how you could hang in through the few months till you leave. But if things get better for that time, it means you will feel better as you cope with all the OTHER things you are addressing! Keeping you (and your mom) in my prayers!

I am going to practice saying "do you want fries with that?"
:rolleyes: :eek: :eek: :eek: :( :eek:

Ha Ha!!!! See, I told you you would be able to have some fun....................

Yes, I want fries with my order!!:D

Quote:

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The partners have been falling all over themselves, being sweet to me.

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Milk it for all it's worth girl!!!! Let them take you to lunch (and order fries...). Let them buy you presents. Let them fall all over you. ;) They will never know what hit them until you're gone.

Might I also suggest that the week after you leave, you book yourself into a day spa treatment as well as weekly massages.....you deserve it!!!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sasvermont

I am being taken to lunch tomorrow by the managing partner, to my favorite restaurant. What, do they think I am stupid? And can be bought? Do they think I was born yesterday? Gosh, time cannot pass soon enough. They end of February, and I am outta here, big time.

I expect the new few weeks to be busy, and one big "let's make Sallyanne stay" fest. Too late!

---

It may also be a *fact finding* mission. You given them all the information they need to know, so beware of providing anything additional. Remember what you say can be used against you, or at least cut into your leverage, which you apparently have at this point in time.

Personally I think that you will have a plethera of job opportunities, Don't sell yourself short. They've done that for you long enough. You know your worth and it will hold you in good stead.

If they really want you to stay, they will make it worth your while and give you an iron clad contract (including a *no more crap* clause and a golden parachut). I'm not saying you should let them talk you into anything, but do listen. Keep all options open.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Rachel

It may also be a *fact finding* mission. You given them all the information they need to know, so beware of providing anything additional. Remember what you say can be used against you, or at least cut into your leverage, which you apparently have at this point in time.

Personally I think that you will have a plethera of job opportunities, Don't sell yourself short. They've done that for you long enough. You know your worth and it will hold you in good stead.

---

I agree with this too. By taking charge of your life instead of languishing
in a godawful job, you do have the upper hand so to speak. I don't think
you need tell them anything about your future plans. Let them stew about it.

The youngest of the six partners decided he would attempt a conversation with me at six o'clock tonight, about what I thought should be done to replace me. I suggested that they would have to hire three people. He giggled and then suggested that they may "split up certain aspects of my job and ask the staff to help out".....or maybe even hire from within.... My response was, "that is a mangement decision, and I will support whatever you guys decide, because remember, I am out of here." They are going to do what they have to do, and it will be their choice. I could give a hoot. It would be easier on me if they did split it up or hire from within. I wouldn't have to introduce some poor stranger to all these odd souls they call lawyers/partners. What a group. They deserve each other......I really really don't care anymore.

I have lots of work to do between now and the end of February. I am prepared to have them let me go - when it is convenient for them. They are such fools and such bad managers. I don't know how I could have lasted this long.

I think I will spare you guys the drama for a few days, as I think it has peaked and I need to get busy finding myself some means of income. The "fries with that" expression is beginning to haunt me! I don't even like fries!

Boy am I happier now that I have given "notice"....just a little scared.

:eek:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sasvermont

I think I will spare you guys the drama for a few days, as I think it has peaked and I need to get busy finding myself some means of income. The "fries with that" expression is beginning to haunt me! I don't even like fries!

Boy am I happier now that I have given "notice"....just a little scared.

:eek:

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I think you might just now be realizing how much things had gotten out of control by the deep sense of relief that you are feeling that there is an end to it all and it is in sight. You are already viewing that place as an outsider looking in. :) The burden is already lifting. :) Try not to get too frazzled with the *what ifs* regarding them letting you go before your sign off date. You have time to luxuriate right now in the *high* attained from this decision. We all know that you will do just fine. There is something out there just perfect for you. (Maybe it might be back in the Philadelphia area! ;) ) teehee! ....probably a bad joke! :p Anyway, check in when you feel that you want to vent. We care very much about you and understand how therapeutic the keyboard can be at times. More (((hugs)))!!

P.S. I wish I didn't like fries. :rolleyes:

Sas, how did everything go?

I am in the same situation for a long time already and although I had planned and announced my departure for the middle of May, last week I had signed the letter to give it to them (we only need to give them 2 weeks notice), but finally did not do it. They made redundant a person last year, gave me his share of job, another person left two weeks later and they gave me the job too on top of what I had already. They didn't not give me more money until I had told them seriously that I am going to write a complaint and then they gave me 40 dollars more... :rolleyes: I don't know why I didn't go - I guess I am stupid.

Two weeks ago, when I received my appraisal from my manager's manager with his comments, I was surprised to see that I was evaluated by my manager at just effective, not strong, while my colleagues that are only learning from me got strong, I was UPSET. I wanted to leave then and there - with their projects unfinished and their problems unsolved. It has been a rough two weeks for me - I didn't take this too well, plus I had been sick just before this story and did not recover well.

I have come to the decision to stay some more, just because I would get some benefits - I will still need the medical insurance and I could use some money now before the wedding. But, I will just be handing over the job, not more. No, no, no.

Anyway, I was promised by my manager's manager's manager a very nice letter of recommendation and given his very high position, I hope that will help me get a very nice job next time.