Cats are stressed, I'm stressed - I need to vent/cry

I don't know what to do. I haven't really talked about this here yet and had hoped it would get better but things are getting stressful between my cats. For some reason they all pick on Scout but lately it has gotten really bad and I'm finding her hair pulled out from the fighting. Rocky is the #1 culprit and starts it all but Jazz isn't much better and now Decker is doing it. Rumor will join in. They corner her, jump her and scare her half to death. She'll just be minding her own business and they will run up and start a fight. Usually there isn't blood but I found a couple of blood drops on the sunroom floor one day but couldn't find any marks on anyone.

Poor little Scout is so scared and paranoid now and has started this terrible scream/meow when they approach her. She has never gotten along well with the other cats but it has never been like this. I don't know what it is about her they don't like but she is tiny compared to the rest of them and she is the only non dark cat I have, she's my orangie.

It seems like it started getting worse back in Feb. and March and then when I put Rocky on Clomicalm it seemed to improve but now Rocky seems basically immune to the Clomicalm and in fact it makes him act paranoid and more aggressive towards her so I've stopped it.

On top of all that someone is peeing on the dining room floor. It's usually Ripley who does this and he has been sick and acting odd which goes along with when he pees there but I'm not 100% sure it's him. My fear is that Rocky has started it as part of his dominance thing or poor little Scout is doing it out of fear.

I don't know what to do about it and the cats have been acting up so much lately I'm getting stressed and strung out from it. Finding a new pee spot today and then hearing Scout's scream as Rocky cornered her a little bit ago has just worn me down. Ripley also threw up all over the kitchen floor this morning. I'm on the verge of crying. I called Richard at work and he told me to get rid of everyone but Scout. I know he wasn't serious and for a moment I could have almost agreed (dont' bash me, it was just a fleeting thought in my stressed out situation).

I want peace and harmony!!!!!

:( Well I am so sorry to hear about Scout.. Now Is Scout the only girl with a bunch of boys?? You may have to put Scout in a room of her own with double stack baby half doors.. My KiKi has to stay in her own room due she is so mean.. But she is happy & so is everyone else.. Good Luck .. Keep in touch..

I you have those large dog crates or can get access to some they work great for comfy confinment. Enough room for litter box, water, food and bed.
I'd confine Rocky for a while let him chill out in a safe place and away from everyone else.
I think it's the domino effect "monkey see... monkey do" when everyone else is joining in on the stalking.

I wish I could offer some advice, but instead I can just offer my sympathy. We've spent the last year trying to deal with our Tuna/Corkscrew issue. The bloody fights, spray wars, peeing on furniture... The best solution we've come up with is just to keep them sepatated. Tuna and Pocky get their run of the house during the day. Corkscrew and Tibby get their run at night. Sometimes we'll let Pocky interact with Tibby and Corkscrew since there are no problems there and Tuna with Tibby. However generally we just keep them in pairs. It's a pain but it seems to work. We still haven't tried medicating them, but we are open to the idea and might look into it in the future. But for now things seems to be going well and we haven't had spraying or peeing on furniture for a while.

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Originally Posted by lvpets2002

:( Well I am so sorry to hear about Scout.. Now Is Scout the only girl with a bunch of boys?? You may have to put Scout in a room of her own with double stack baby half doors.. My KiKi has to stay in her own room due she is so mean.. But she is happy & so is everyone else.. Good Luck .. Keep in touch..

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Scout is one of four females. The girls are Jazz, Scout, Rumor and Moxie and the boys are Ripley, Rocky and Decker. Scout also was the third cat to come in. Rocky and Rumor (siblings) came a year later and Moxie and Decker are the kittens we rescued from the backyard last year. I do think the stress got started with bringing the last two in. I'm also wondering if Rocky is just trying to be the alpha male and has started his quest with picking on Scout.

As for shutting Scout up it won't work. We don't have the room or space to close her up and I don't see that as a good option for her. She's very people oriented. She spends most her evening in my or Richard's lap - now more than ever for the safety.

In all honesty I feel like Scout would be happier as an only kitty. :( I'm probably bonded with her more than any other cat so this is just breaking my heart. I don't mean that I plan to give her up I just mean that I hate seeing her so scared and getting bullied.

Well, my Miley is like Scout, to a great degree.

This past weekend, I put together a huge, I mean huge, cage for Miley. She spends most of her waking hours in a closet or hold up in some corner, waiting for JuniRose or Chloe to attack her. When I am around, it is usually worse. Oddly enough, when I have company in the house, things are better because everyone gets more attention.

Miley has a couple of health issues still unresolved and one, FIP, is a death sentenance. My vet suggested that since the quailty of her life is fairly good right now, to consider confining her to a cage (inappropraiate pooping on the floors)...... and give her a sense of comfort and away from the other cats. As of yesterday afternoon, she has been caged. We will see how she likes it as time goes one.

In other words, I am protecting Miley from the others. They love not having her hissing and running.....and played with each other last night. They pick on Miley. And she adds insult to injury.

I got the cage (Cat Hotel) at Martins Cages, in PA, on line. I put it together over the weekend. I hope it works.

So, this might be an option for you.

I am hoping that Miley will settle down and live quietly and then get more confident along with more freedom back, as time passes.

I feel your pain. I was beyond frustrated, hearing her doing it and smelling poop under my bed, in the closet...in my spare room......on the porch....you name it. She has IBD and is on medications and special diet....but that doesn't change her habit!

Chin up.

I would keep them apart for awhile, however possible, and let them all cool their heels a little.

It is so frustrating. I don't know how some multi cat homes do it. I have only four and they are not working so smoothly together. Its mostly Miley. :eek:

I really appreciate this support.

Craftlady - I don't know that caging Rocky will help because Jazz still does enough picking on Scout. She did a little before Rocky and Rumor every arrived but nothing like what Rocky is up to. You are right about the monkey see thing with Decker. I agree Rocky needs to chill though. He's a very sensitive cat, his nickname is Petal because he is so delicate. I think confining him would be very bad on him but I'm not opposed to trying a "time out" for him in the bathroom.

SAS - I knew you were having some issues but didn't realize it was this bad. Poor Miley and poor you! I hope the cat hotel works out please let me know. I was thinking about Craftlady's suggestion of caging Scout but the only thing I have is just roomy enough for kittens. I need to look into what you bought.

Uabassoon - thanks for the sympathy. I'm glad you have a working system now. I remember seeing all that hair from a fight several months ago. :eek:

I'm sorry to hear poor Scout is being attacked. :( It's probably like with humans, some just don't like each other, and never will. Have you considered trying to rehome one or two? That would be better than having to confine any of them in a cage, in my opinion.

The reason they do this could even be because they find they don't have enough space.

Good luck!

Time out works too :)
My suggestion for the cage idea (I should of clarified) is for when your not home and cant keep an eye on things.
I'm not a fan of caging 24/7 forever, but they sure come in handy for temporary fixes. Cindy loved her "Hotel Ritz" for a week. :)

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Originally Posted by Randi

I'm sorry to hear poor Scout is being attacked. :( It's probably like with humans, some just don't like each other, and never will. Have you considered trying to rehome one or two? That would be better than having to confine any of them in a cage, in my opinion.

The reason they do this could even be because they find they don't have enough space.

Good luck!

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Thanks Randi. It has run through my mind. If I could find a good home for Moxie and Decker I probably would give them up but I don't know if that will change things with Rocky enough to help Scout. I do think we have too many cats but I don't know what to do about it. If only we could have found takers for all the kittens last fall.

I wish there was an easy answer. :(

Lori, I am so sorry this is happening. Maybe it is the "maturing issue" mentioned in another thread (sorry, memory fails me as to which thread). :(

I am not sure I can offer any help either, but tons of sympathy.

All we can hope is that things settle down.

Can you keep Scout in a room by herself only when you are not at home. And out when you ARE at home? This way she is not denied her people time. This is kind of the arrangement Simba has. Foster rooms when people are not home. Resident cats' rooms when we are at home to supervise.

Maybe it is Rocky that needs some medication? To keep his dominance down. Not sure if this would work, but it might be an idea to ask the vet.

Oh boy, that's stressful for sure. I still have my issues w/Specs picking on Boo but since he's been on Clomicalm, it's calmed down considerably. When my RB Peeka was alive, she picked on my sweet Pidge like you wouldn't believe, stalked her, waited around corners so she could jump her, etc. Poor Pidge spent most of her days and nights hiding under my bed. That was not a good way to live! It wasn't until Creamsicle came into the home that she stopped doing it and I have no clue why. I didn't know about Clomicalm then or she would've been on it, too. I'm sorry that it seems to have an adverse effect on your cat. I hate to sound like a drug pusher but Dr. Lee said that they're seeing much success w/Prozac for cats and he says that it starts working almost immediately. If you can't separate them to any degree, maybe Prozac will work for you. That's such a stressful situation for all of them and especially for you. I feel for you, I really do. And to add the pee and pooping to the mix, UGH. I wish I could give you better suggestions other than drugs. Believe me, I tried everything, too, as I'm sure you have. Hang in there. I just vented on PT a little while ago and I already feel better. You will, too. :)

I don't know how old Scout is but can you keep Scout in Your Bedroom Forever?
I think I might think of doing that if Scout was the favorite.
My Tucker has been agressive also lately and he never was like that until all the kittens and jasmine came to the house.
noone is afraid of him but jasmine(The same age as tucker about).
She's terrified of him and he loves it.
He also is the sweetest thing and still is best buddies with tiny Marshall.
He doesn't hurt anyone...just jumps in there face.
Now he does it to my Penny(all white...was ferel,not anymore)
Maybe we need another 1 eyed cat so Tucker doesn't feel different.
If you need any more help...email me or call.
I have simalar problems but not so bad to see spots of blood.
that would scare me and i would be very upset.I am so sorry...i'd be stressed to.
hopefully noone has UTI.(blood from pee)

Thats actually my worst nightmare is that the Found Cats will stop liking each other and turn mean and agressive towards each other. I dont know what to suggest other than isolating Scout.
We pray that you can find harmony once more.

It's called the Pariah Cat Syndrome. Sometimes you'll have one cat that, isn't aggressive, doesn't bother anyone, yet the other cats in the household pick on them relentlessly. I had a cat like that and I finally had to rehome her for her own safety. All she wanted to do was be loved and get attention. The other cats wouldn't allow it. You've gotten some great advice here. I'd try everything I could to come to some kind of happy medium. But unfortunately sometimes nothing works. I certainly hope it doesn't come down to that because it is a very difficult decision to make. But you're going to have to decide what is in her best interest. If it means rehoming her, then you've got your answer.

(((((HUGS))))) and good luck to you Lori. Please keep us posted.

All I can suggest is that you separate Scout (which may mean putting the OTHERS in one room while she is out with you) to get some peace so you can think about a more long range solution.

None of us can think clearly when a battle is brewing.

Wishing you success in this!

Thanks everyone.

Scout will be going to the vet for her annual next week and I will ask the vet for her ideas. I will definitely ask about Prozac for Rocky since the Clomicalm is no longer working for him.

Right now Rocky is in his first "Time Out" in the bathroom. I was sitting here typing when he jumped at her as soon as she walked in so to the bathroom he went. He is crying his heart out. I plan on giving him 5 minutes in there to let him cool his jets and I intend to do that every time I see him being aggressive towards her. Maybe he will get the picture.

I also just ordered more Feliway plug-ins. I haven't used them for a couple of months and was just using spray when I could remember.

I will definitely try keeping Scout in a room by herself when I'm gone if I think it's getting too dangerous for her. I'll try it like you do with Simba Jen.

Please keep the suggestions coming and again, than you all for the support and sympathy. There really is comfort in numbers.

I'm sorry your household has become so disrupted. Silly kitties!

Becky and Abby were separated for almost six months after Becky decided to "go for" Abby. Skipping the details of why Becky did that....Abby wouldn't come out of the bedroom for three months. We kept the door closed while we were gone and I think she liked it. If the door was open, she would only focus on whether or not Becky was attempting to get in.

After three months, Abby started coming out and we always supervised.

It seemed like after five months or so, Becky lost interest in terrorizing Abby.

I no longer believe in "letting them work it out themselves." We break it up if they're being bad and they do know they're being bad, just as if they're jumping up on the cupboards.

We also have Feliway plug-ins upstairs and downstairs. We purchase them in quantity off the internet. I can tell when they need a new refill because they'll start the hissing. :(

Have you thought of using Rescue Remedy? The good thing about Rescue Remedy is that you just put it in the water. I think some others have had good luck with this.

Good luck to you and your family!

Oh Lori, my heart goes out to you sweetie.

Remember when I was going through a tough time with the boys until the "Peacekeeper" came along. Mind you, it wasn't anything like what you are going through, but I was still pulling my hair out trying to figure out what to do with them. Along with a lot of time outs and the good old squirt bottle, things settled down.

I would also suggest putting poor dear Scout in a room when you are not home. Poor Scout, it just breaks my heart what she is going through.

Also, maybe you can try spending some one on one time with each cat a little each day. I've also done this with mine and found that it has helped.

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} for you Lori and prayers that in time, things will improve.

Yes, that is a Pariah cat situation.

I would try:

Prozac (for him)
Feliway
Vanilla on the base of the tails

Defenseable position. Give her a large Tupperware box, with a hole cut in it, that she knows she can run into when they are pursuing her. It is easier to guard one front and not worry about defending from all sides.

I'm sorry that this is happening for you.



:(

Thank you. Those are more great suggestions. I'm intrigued by the vanilla on the tail. I understand the concept but wonder if it would help in this situation. I'm willing.

I'm really leaning more and more towards Prozac for Rocky and will pursue this with my vet. In the meantime I will give Scout her own space while I'm gone and keep trying the time out with Rocky.

I've tried Rescue Remedy before but it didn't work. On that note it was some I bought at a health food store and apparently not the true concentrate or something along those lines.

To put a cherry on my crappola sundae our TV died tonight. Boo Hoo! At least the silver lining is I think we are going to upgrade to a LCD finally!

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At least the silver lining is I think we are going to upgrade to a LCD finally!

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And buy that Kitty Video that so many furbabies find entertaining! :)

Might help!

Lori, I'm so sorry to hear that you're so stressed out and having problems with your cats.:( I've also been having my share of problems but luckily things have calmed down quite a bit since I added 3 extra litterboxes and I've been using the feliway plugins for almost 3 months. I also spray the hallway and other places at night before I go to bed. Have you tried putting cat attract litter in their litterboxes? This helped get my peeing problem under control. You can buy it at petsmart or online.

After a while Storm also became immune to the clomicalm and I had to wean him off of it because the vet said that if I just stopped it then it would cause bad side effects like more aggression. Storm has been much calmer lately but every time I think things are much better, Storm will lash out at one of the cats. Lately he's been picking on Starr and making Starr scream very loud.:( I just had to separate them tonight. Stress will also cause Starr to have even more diarrhea.:(

I would also try separating Scout from the others as much as possible and also continue to give Rocky time outs. Hopefully the prozac will work for him. It may take a while to see any results from this drug though. This Thurs. I'm taking both Starr and Storm to a holistic vet and I hope that she'll be able to give me something to help keep both of them calmer. I also hope to be able to wean Starr off of his current meds and give him more natural things. Maybe you should also see if you have a holistic vet in your area. I sure hope that things will get better and that you won't need to rehome any one. Please take care. (((HUGS)))

I think its time you talked with Nancy. You have her email.
Maybe she can do a reading for you like she did for Tracey - a general reading to find out WHY it's happening.
Other than that - I can't offer advice but can offer support.
Lots of love and hugs on the way Lori.

Last December things had reached a breaking point in my household. Oliver was being EXTREMELY aggressive towards another (declawed) cat Charlie. I had tried everything that I could think of including amitriptyline (Elavil). I finally was able to go in and see an animal behavioralist vet in my area. She prescribed Prozac because the amitriptyline wasn't calming him down enough. It took about 6-8 weeks before I really noticed a big effect in Oliver's behavior and it did get worse for awhile when Connor (from Ally Cat's Mom) first arrived.

Before I started Oliver on any of the meds I had a reading done with Nancy (just to take a baseline). Normally the vets will start with the amitriptyline because it is approved for use in cats. Not all vets feel comfortable prescribing the Prozac, because it has not been approved by the FDA for use in cats. Once Oliver was stablized on the Prozac, I had Nancy do another reading on him. (One of her comments was that Oliver was feeling so much better with the Prozac.)

I will tell you that it is not a panacea and will not cure all the problems. I am down to about one "stocking" incident per day and usually I can catch Oliver before he attacks. But Charlie has reached the point now were he will growl and hiss at Oliver (but thankfully he is deaf) so it could escalate again.

If you want to talk more about the Prozac just PM me and I would be happy to tell you more about my experiences.

Cheryl

I am much more experienced with a multi dog household than a multi cat household. I don't think I have the patience or emotional stamina to endure what some of you have with these cats. I guess that is exactly why Butter has remained an "only cat" since Mimi died last summer. He is better, calmer, and less likely to act out, even though they rarely interacted with each other. It might be that he is getting older. It might be that he feels more secure in his position in our home. I don't know, but I sure do like the new Butter a bunch more than I did the old one.

One thing that I know is that this problem is not exclusive to cats. I've dealt with an aggressive dog now and finally have him behaving better, but gates are a perfect way to quickly diffuse a dog problem. But with cats, I know it is not so simple. We even had "attitude" issues as our baby Cockatiels grew up. Mom and Dad became aggressive with the babies and with us.

We are finally at a point where our home is calm most of the time. I wish the same for you and your cats, Lori. I know how tough it is to come home from a long day at work and deal with this sort of thing. I am not above using medication and seperation to achieve a calm atmosphere.

Best wishes.
Logan

Poor baby :( The best thing I can think of is to separate Scout from the others. If you have enough space, give her her own room with food, litter box, toys, a cushy place to sleep, and, of course frequent visits from you, and keep the door closed at all times so none of the other critters can get in. Normally I'd never suggest shutting an animal up like that, but in this case it seems a better solution than keeping her out with the other cats and submitting her to constant harassment and beatings. Besides, she'd have all her things in the room with her, so she'd be ok.

As for Rocky, maybe you could ask your vet what might be causing his little leakage problem (could be he's stressed by the fighting).

I hope things get better at your house. It's hard to live in a place where family members are constantly at odds with each other--even if those family members are the pets.

Oh dear! I'm sorry things have gotten so bad! Poor little innocent Scout! :( I know how special she is to you, Lori, so I can certainly understand your frustration!!! Maybe now that Ripley is not doing well, Rocky thinks he can step in and be the new "man of the house"! :rolleyes: I know that rehoming Moxie and Decker would take some stress off of everyone, but I don't know that it would completely change Rocky's attitude towards Scout. I wish I had a definite answer for you!!!! Whatever you think needs to be done, is totally up to you and I will support you 100%.

Hugs,
Kim