What a huge slap in the face...

Wasn't sure what to title this, but I'm so upset right now. I just found out at 3 o'clock that me and my family are moving to Arizona. My parents have wanted to move there for a while now, but my mom got a job down there, so she will be moving in June and then the rest of us are moving in August. I don't want to move at all. I just switched schools this year, and I LOVE it here. I have a bunch of friends, I play basketball, and my boyfriend is here. I'm so full of emotions right now, it's hard to express it.

I'm pretty sure Maggie and Autumn are comming with us, along with my mom's cat. I'm not so sure about the horses though.

I don't know what to do, I've told my parents so many times that I don't want to move. I'm so upset right now, I just wanted to share it with you all. Thanks.

Aw, Beth, that must be awful. At least it's still early days, you never know, something could come up which could change things. I am sorry though that all this has come up so quick, and just when you were settled too. I would be devastated if you didn't get to keep the horses! Surely there would be somewhere you could keep them?

((hugs))

That's terrible! Surely they can't leave the horses behind!

Well....if you do have to move...you'll make lots of friends(almost definitely)and you can keep in touch with your 'old' ones. Thats what I did...and do...for almost 6 years now. well...only for the last 4...but thats bc I was 6 when we moved.

Aww :( I'm sorry, I saw your other threads about the possible move. Did you tell your mom and dad that your dad said if you didn't want to move you wouldn't have to?? I hope something comes up and you don't have to move. I'm sure you'll make new friends though. Explain to your parents why you really don't want to leave. (Boyfriend, School, Friends, Basketball, leaving the horses,and maybe anything else you can think of) Just be calm and nice about it, so they consider you responsible enough to stay. (I think in your last thread you said you would stay or something if you didn't want to go *not for sure if i'm correct what you said*) ((HUGS)))

I would give you tips on what to say, but when I moved (twice) I wanted to go. I would miss my friends, but in NJ now there is so much more to do and I can walk to my friend's houses. When I lived in FL, my friends were 7 miles from me. Maybe once you go there, you'll see it better. You'll miss your friends and everything but sometimes there are advantages. You could always keep in touch with friends, I still keep in touch with around 3 people where I used to live. It is not the same, but atleast I still talk to them. :)

Oh, Beth! I am so sorry to hear this. :( I know you didn't wait to move at all. I'm sure you will make tons of new friends, though. Best wishes to you and your family, Beth. {{{{HUGS}}}}

Thanks everyone.

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Originally Posted by I_luv_rusty

Did you tell your mom and dad that your dad said if you didn't want to move you wouldn't have to?? I hope something comes up and you don't have to move. I'm sure you'll make new friends though. (I think in your last thread you said you would stay or something if you didn't want to go *not for sure if i'm correct what you said*) ((HUGS)))

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I told my parents that I didn't want to move, but they've pretty much blown me off now. I need to talk to my dad about staying here, and see if it is possible, but I need to calm down first so I don't freak out. The last thing I need is my parents to be mad at me because I'm arguing with them... or else having another anxiety attack because I get so worried. Hopefull they'll consider me staying here.

I've gotten several phone calls from my friends tonight, making sure I am ok. I was very upset in school today, and I'm happy that I have such good friends to make sure I'm ok. :)

Awww Beth I'm so sorry, that's really gotta suck. :(

I really hope you don't have to move though.

Best wishes Beth. I hope everything works out for you. :)

What grade are you in? How does your sister feel about this, and would it be hard to be separated from her for you?

Didnt you say in a post before that your grandfather lived in a trailer next to your farm? Couldnt you stay with him until you are old enough to live on your own so you dont have to switch schools and move?

I really do feel for you, it will be really hard for you,i guess your parents are shifting there because they feel it will be a better life for you all, but again this does not make it any easier for you, i have always thought long and hard before i made any decisions to move with my children, hence we have lived in the same place for over 23 years, and no chance of leaving,not until my daughter is grown up, change is hard for everyone, especially in the teenage years, i wish you well and hope you can find happiness in your new environment. hugs :)

I'm sorry. As I said before, I hated moving in my sophomore year of highschool but the move turned out to be the best thing ever.

I also seem to remember your hesitation in moving to the new school that you're telling us you love and don't want to leave. Perhaps ytou'll love the new town and school too.

It really stinks when things happen to you that you have no control over. Try to look at this positively and embrace the new experiences you'll have.

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Originally Posted by Karen

What grade are you in? How does your sister feel about this, and would it be hard to be separated from her for you?

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I'm in 9th grade right now, my sister wants to move, and it probably would be hard to seperate from her, but I think I could do it because I'd see her all the time.

My dad is comming back here every two weeks for two weeks because he can't sell his business because we won't be making enought money with just my mom's job. It is going to suck, my mom will probably be working overtime a lot, and then my dad is going to be gone all the time. I'm used to my dad being home almost all the time, and my mom is always home when I'm home, she's a teacher at the moment, so if I don't have school neither does she. It's going to be so different.

Just take a deep breath. Cry all you need to. Please try not to be too angry at your parents. Keep in mind...they are just like you, only older and with a lot more on their plate (not demeaning what you have in your life, because I remember being in ninth grade, it's hard work!). Your parents have to make decisions that scare them, changes that they aren't sure about, they have to make new friends and start over, too. It's not easy for them, either, even if they are excited about the move. I remember being taken from South Carolina and moved to Germany! It was hard, I don't think I ate for a week. I cried, I pouted, I fretted, I worried. And, then we moved anyway. ;) You seem to be a very outgoing, active, open minded person. I don't see you having problems making new friends. And, believe me, the friends you're meant to keep in touch with, you will. I have a friend that I've known since third grade. She's the only friend I still keep in touch with regularly since I left the USA when we were in 8th grade. I moved a lot after that move, too, and I can tell you this. Every single move was hard. I cried and worried. I missed the people I left, but I made new friends where I went. And, from each place, I have memories that other people wish they had! There are pros and cons to both types of lifestyles...never moving and moving all the time. Any time changes pop up, you really have to try and embrace the positive aspects of them. Face the negative ones, admit that it sucks in a lot of ways...and then move on from it. You will only hurt yourself if you focus too much on what you're leaving behind. And, Arizona is within the continental USA! If you can drive, you're never really that far.

You know I think a lot of you and your sister. And, I may not be able to know EXACTLY what you're feeling, but I can relate very closely. I remember what it was like. Keep your chin up. I think you should give it a shot. Character is built during times like this! :cool:

xoxo

I am so sorry to read this and I really do feel for you :(

I have been part of a military family all of my life and we have had to move every three years or so. During school years - it is very, very upsetting and difficult. My three kids suffered through it as well.

Once you know for sure what you will be doing - I have a few suggestions to maybe help a bit. It helped our family to get out maps and look at the new location. Write to the Chamber of Commerce and request newcomer packages. These are free and usually contain lots of local info. Read about your new school and youth activities or things you are interested in - like your horses, etc. Start planning a return visit to come and see your friends again. Email and telephone can keep you in touch.

As hard as it is to move - there are always some wonderful things about it. Looking back, I know that each new place was happier and better than the places we left.

((((HUGS)))) to you. For now, I think Finn's Mom has some very good ideas to comfort you at this time.

Thanks everyone, I started crying AGAIN reading this. :o

I feel so childish crying so much about this, but it's so important to me, I really have no desire at ALL to move. Kari, it does seem like you know what I'm going through. I am pretty outgoing to some extent, and usually make friends fast, but I dont know, just thinking about it makes me angry.

I'm not trying to take any actions, but I was JUST WONDERING...can my parents MAKE me move, or do I have a say in it??

This might be something that your parents feel they must do for finanical reasons. It might not be apperent to you now since you don't have to worry about those things. You are almost grown up and your parents have to do what they feel is best for the family as a whole. I think you should be supportive of them and try to understand their point of view. I am sure they would appreciate that. Perhaps this move is harder on them then you know. I am sure it took a lot of soul searching and planning for them. They are after all leaving their friends as well. Change is always scary but it is a time of growth as well. The world is a huge place and there is so much to see and do, new friends to meet, new places to explore. I hope that you can put a postive spin on this for your family's sake as well as your own. Try to think of this as an advanture not as a heartship. This can be postive you have to try and think of everyone in your family and not just what you want to do. Sorry if that seems harsh but that is the way I see it.

I am sorry you are going through this. I cannot relate to what you are feeling. We lived in the house that my parents still live in since I was 3 years old. That might be why I have such a hard time with change now in my adult life. My brother was almost going to move his family to Texas and I was not happy about it. They have since changed thier minds (my SIL got a new job and loves it too much).
I know when I was in 8th grade a friends family moved but she lived with me until we finished the school year. Do you have any friends you could stay with? Or would your parents not hear of that?
Good luck and I'm sure you'll make the best of what ever happens.

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Originally Posted by Toby's my baby

I feel so childish crying so much about this, but it's so important to me, I really have no desire at ALL to move. Kari, it does seem like you know what I'm going through. I am pretty outgoing to some extent, and usually make friends fast, but I dont know, just thinking about it makes me angry.

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Don't worry about crying, it's not childish. It's a big move, a huge change and it's not a thing you should feel silly for being upset about. It's ok to be angry. Just do your best not to pin your anger on anyone, because no one is out to make your life harder or more painful. Your parents have your best intentions in mind, I'm sure of it. Some things are hard and it's normal to feel angry or bitter or sad or scared. By all means, be mad if you have to. Go beat up a trash can with a baseball bat or something. ;) We all love ya here. Pet Talk (and many other things!) will be here, no matter where you live. :) xoxo

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Originally Posted by finn's mom

Don't worry about crying, it's not childish. It's a big move, a huge change and it's not a thing you should feel silly for being upset about. It's ok to be angry. Just do your best not to pin your anger on anyone, because no one is out to make your life harder or more painful. Your parents have your best intentions in mind, I'm sure of it. Some things are hard and it's normal to feel angry or bitter or sad or scared. By all means, be mad if you have to. Go beat up a trash can with a baseball bat or something. ;) We all love ya here. Pet Talk (and many other things!) will be here, no matter where you live. :) xoxo

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Aww, lol thanks for the laugh. My mom came home last night, and we talked about it a little bit today. I told her how upset I am, and the reasons why I wanted to stay. Once again..you guessed it.. I started crying. She is much better at making me feel better than my dad. I'm not so mad anymore, but I'm still really upset. We sat down a couple of minutes ago and picked out a couple houses that we liked. It doesn't feel so bad right now I guess I've just calmed down. Me and my boyfriend talked about it, and he's going to try come out if he can, and I'm comming home with my dad when I can get away from school. . . if it doesn't work out, than I guess it doesn't, but we're going to try. All this support has made me feel so much better, and to hear the stories of things everyone else has gone through. I'm trying to take a good attitude with this, and it is working. My mom said these next 4 months I'll just have to spend a lot of time with my friends and stuff, but I explained to her how strict her and my dad are. She agreed to talk to my dad so that me and my sister would have more freedom until we move, so we can have fun with the time we have left.

Glad that she listened, and you'll get to have time for friends. :)