This is a regular PTer posting under her husband's account (as you can see he's never posted)
We found out something this afternoon about someone very close to us. This person has been dealing pot. What can we do?
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This is a regular PTer posting under her husband's account (as you can see he's never posted)
We found out something this afternoon about someone very close to us. This person has been dealing pot. What can we do?
Make a call.
I would make a call and you can do it without revealing your identity, so this person will not know it was you! - even better :)
Think of this as doing them a favor.
Please don't delay.
I would definitely report them!:eek:
Report them anonymously. You'll be keeping a lot of children out of danger.
Good luck. My neighbor has been using and selling pot, oxyctin,crack and meth for 7 years and she and her daughter are still at it. Numerous calls have been made to the police and I have even called the drug task force. My crackhead neighbors know I have called as well as another neighbor has called repeatedly. I wish you better luck, or at least a better police dept.
i think a visit to the city/county DA is what i'd do. sometimes going to to the police doesn't get the desired/needed results. good luck, and let us know what you decide and what the results are.
If it's only pot, I would not worry too much, and I don't think the police will either - unless it's huge quantities.
I also think it's time that people discriminate between pot and hard drugs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randi
I agree with you Randi, although I suspect a lot of people will not. :)
I wouldnt do anything if it isnt affecting you personally. And if it bothers you that bad confront them and tell them they need to stop before the police find out.... Its not one of the more serious drugs so most likely they wont get in much trouble for it unless they have alot of it. It would be different if it was herion, cocaine etc though.
I suppose a little more information would be in order. The person is the SO of a close family member. We (the family) would be happy to see this SO vanish into the night.
We know several cops who we can enlist the help of; we just weren't sure what to do with the information. We hear SO is dealing pot out of their workplace. Remember the movie "Loverboy" where people could ask for extra anchovies and get a date for the evening? This is a similar situation where if they ask for a special pizza they'll get the pot.
I came upon this information yesterday in a strange way. I was not fishing for the information. This is a small town and secrets don't stay hidden for long.
The reason this is such a big deal is because SO promised us and our family member that they no longer have anything to do with pot. Our family member believes everything SO tells them, while the rest of us knows they're not the perfect person they're portraying themselves as. They are hiding things and this is just one thing we can proove. If they are lying about this, what else are they lying about?
This is not a situation where the pot is the big deal. I don't want to get into the debate over pot and drugs. Its the fact that SO is lying and we can finally snag them in their own little lie.
We are stepping lightly because if our family member finds out we instigated a huge deal, especially enlisting the aid of cops, then our family member will not have anything to do with us anymore. That is the last thing we want. We are doing this to protect our family member.
Until said member finds out in the aftermath how THEY have been lied to and ripped off...if the SO is arrested, friends have a way of coming forth and telling you what they knew - and didn't say to your face because they knew you wouldn't believe them.Quote:
our family member will not have anything to do with us anymore
Once your family member is blasted out of denial...I think they'll come around.
hugs
While you may well be right about this - the use of pot affects a person's judgement. And pot dealers, much like dealers of "hard drugs" have a tendancy to move in undesireable circles. After all, it is ILLEGAL. Personally, if a family member of mine was living with a pot dealer, I would be very concerned.Quote:
Originally Posted by Randi
Having never had to deal with such an issue in my family, I really don't have a lot of advice to give.
I agree too, but the law is the law whether fair or unfair, and the criminalization of this more or less harmless stuff does indeed attract members of the "undesirable circles" LilacDragon mentioned. It's a problem created by a law created for the benefit of Anheuser-Busch, but it's still a problem. Not one I'd consider panicworthy, but if I were worried about "undesirables" hanging around, I'd talk to the guy and say, "Look, I don't trust your customers not to bring the actual bad stuff and its associated crime into my neighborhood. Knock it off or I'm blowing the whistle."Quote:
Originally Posted by lizbud
Love, Columbine
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilacDragon
Gosh, me, too! While I could argue about someone smoking something in their own home every once in a while, I don't see someone 'dealing' out of their home in the same way.
Ok, I must be having a blonde moment, would someone please spell out 'SO' for me???!!!! :rolleyes:
I'm just not getting it, today!
Significant other. :)
I couldn't respond to this thread earlier since Ashley was home. If this were me, I'd be jumping for joy -- finally a way to get rid of Cam's father once and for all.... he'd go to jail for a loooong time, especially since he's already on probation for something else. but I know I'd be desperately afraid she'd never forgive me for narking on Cam's father.
Not an easy situation. A good way to get rid of a troublesome Significant Other, but a way that will make the loved one hate you. Good Luck!
Excuse me for being rather naiive. If this person is dealing out of their workplace, doesn't it stand to reason that this person is going to get busted eventually without anyone's help? It is a public place. Right? Also....being a public place, wouldn't it be less obvious that you were the one that intervened? Meaning that it could have been anybody that helped to get the person busted. Just a couple of thoughts and opinions.
I know Randi lives in Denmark, and that some countries in Europe have very different laws about pot. Randi - could you give a little more info? Is pot handled as a 'controlled substance' like alcohol is here? EG only available in certain places to people above a certain age?
Thanks!
Last time I looked, marijuana is ILLEGAL. Nail the SOB. Make a visit IN PERSON to the police department and file a complaint. Since Mr. Wonderfrul is on probation, he is in violation and will go to jail.
Personal use in the privacy of your own home is one thing. Dealing is an entirely different story, especially if he's doing it on company property and on company time.
dealing from work? maybe an anonymous message to the higher ups at the job, not the manager, but the HR dept. no business wants to be a negative story in the local paper or the lead story on the 6pm news.
Catty1! Well, I havent been keeping up to date on the subject, as I'm not really interested, but hash/pot is illegal in Denmark and I believe they have recently tightened the law - after all, we have a right wing Government. :(
I can't find the actual law on drugs.
Years ago, the police let people go if they had a little bit for smoking themselves, but with the new law, people are fined for whatever little bit they have. Sad really, because these young kids may drift to places where hard drugs are, or start drinking alcohol instead - which is a lot more damaging.
There's a place in Copenhagen called Christiania. Below are some links.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/articl...sn=001&sc=1000
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freetown_Christiania
http://denmark.dk/portal/page?_pagei..._schema=PORTAL
Thanks, Randi!
Some of the same things are discussed in Canada - that criminalizing drugs, hard or soft, pushes them into hiding, and then it's REALLY tough to control.
Years ago, my sister visited the Nederlands, several times, and said it was 'legal'. But when I worked on Holland America lines, an older fellow acknowledged some has bars etc, but I think spoke for many when he said it was a bad thing, and caused a lot of trouble. (He said it a bit more strongly than that, but I don't recall his actual words!)
Thanks for correcting a stereotyped perception on my part.
:)
IMO, if its a small town and word is out about it anyway - obviously it is, if you weren't fishing for the information and got it anyway - then I don't see how your family member is going to find out you were the one to tip off the police.
Write an anonymous letter stating what you heard and mail it to a detective in the police department. That way, there will be no phone call, and no one will know it was you. You will be sure that way it won't slip later that you were the one to tell.
If they choose to act, they can set up an undercover sting operation. I used to date a sheriff who did undercover narc work. It was simply amazing the things they could pull off, very convincingly. Of course, if your small town is anything like my small town, they may or may not act, depending on many political issues. But that's not your problem, all you can do is report it anonymously and wait and see. Give it some time.
I too, used to buy the "only pot" argument completely. And I still do believe pot is far cry better and safer than harder drugs. However, since my son failed his ninth grade year of high school, was arrested, spent a night in jail with a child molestor and a murderer, was sent to the state reform school for three months, is on supervised probation for a year, and cost us thousands of dollars .... for "ONLY pot" ... I have developed a bit of a harsher view of the drug. Yes, it better than crack or meth. Yes, it relatively physically and psychologically harmless compared to other drugs. Yes, it's organic (unless laced, of course). However ... it is illegal. It is addictive. It is highly unmotivating and has most certainly ruined countless lives and families. Only pot? Sure ... until you watch your only child who just barely turned fourteen years old drug away in shackles and handcuffs, thrown in a van, and driven 300 miles away to a military reform school where he spent 85 days cold, hungry, sick and miserable. For less pot than one could roll one joint with. Only pot?
OMG. That happened to him ???? That is just so unbelievable. Sometimes I feel sorry for the kids when these very hard sentences get handed down.Quote:
Originally Posted by Twisterdog
Peer pressure in schools and such must be great on these kids to try it and all, and then they get caught. Terrible stuff. And it always seems that the wrong ones are caught and punished.
Wom
TD- thanks for sharing that story. I cannot imagine the pain. :(
Tony10k, by knowing about it but not informing the authorities, will you be placing yourself in legal trouble?
Yes, it seems that way to me, too. My son was by no means a threat to anyone but himself. He was not dealing or selling anything. He was experimenting. Of course that does not make it legal or right. But everyday I read our local paper and people caugt cooking, using and selling meth get 90 days of probation and a suspended nominal fine. I truly do not understand. Something is very wrong with the system.Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
Sounds like that Prosecutor was up for re-election or something. That
would be very unusual to to come down so hard on a child, especially
for a first offense.
:rolleyes: thank you! :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by lizbud
I should have figured that one out!!! :rolleyes:
Thanks for the help.
I still think you should do something, write a letter like someone suggested, or just make a call. The first step is always the hardest.
If YOU know you did something about this (alert the police) then YOU can sleep better at night, even if they choose not to do anything about this.
Maybe they already know and are building their case - I mean come on, selling at work and not getting caught?!!! Call his boss!!!!! They can't be all that stupid, can they?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Was this his first offence ???? I know that question sounds silly, cos he's only fourteen....but still sometimes it isn't at that age.Quote:
Originally Posted by Twisterdog
If it was his first offence, and the fact that this boy is still a minor....was there no way that you could intervene ??? Like perhaps an appeal against such a harsh sentence ????
I just find this matter so disturbing, that the so called law can do this to a minor for just trying a bit of pot. It's so beyond me how these people think.
Wombat
Anxiously waiting for an uppydate. Anything new on this situation? :)
Sorry there hasn't been an update. We are still waiting for more information before we proceed. Our family member is completely in love with their SO and we have to be absolutely certain the information is correct before we go to the police. We decided to let the authorities handle this situation but we want to be 100% certain the information we tell them is accurate.
Twisterdog, how awful for your family to experience this. Many prayers for your son and your family. {{{{{Hugs}}}}} for you.
Thanks. Sounds like the best way to handle it. I hope it all works out the right way for everybody :)
Yes, it was his first offense. It was his first offense for ANYthing, actually. He was in school, and had no prior record whatsoever. He had never been in court, never been on probabtion, etc.Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
Yes, I could have fought it. I called a lot of lawyers for information. I would have gotten a lawyer and fought it from the beginning, but I had no idea I would need one. From everything that everyone had told me, I had nothing to worry about. I heard about a hundred times that the judge would lecture him, give him probabtion and some work restitution to pay off his fine. That was fine with me, I wanted him punished ... just not to the degree he was!
After the sentencing, I started calling lawyers. They told me they would take the case, but by the time we got a trial date in our vastly meth-case-clogged system, chances are he would have served the entire sentence anyway. They also told me she is a moody, vengeful judge, and if I fought it and my son ever had to appear before her again, that he would be pretty much dead in the water. They said she holds a grudge and never forgets.
They also said that the sentence she gave him was within the limits of state law, and even though most of the time the judge does not go for the harshest possible sentence on the first offense ... that they certainly can do it if they choose to.
Hmmmmmmm....yes, we have some judges like that here to.Quote:
Originally Posted by Twisterdog
Well anyway....I just think that's so harsh a sentence for a minor. I hope he comes out of this ok for you. He will certainly learn a lesson from it, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will benefit him in the long run. Not that he needs this, but seeing that he has to put in the time, hopefully he can get something out of it.
Wom
I still think the sentence was out of line for a first offense. It's a shame
you didn't know anything about that particular judge, or you could have been
advised to retain an attorney before his first court appointment.
As a parent, it's hard enough to convince our children that there is justice
in this world sometimes ,when we don't see it ourselves.