Younger members getting blamed for things

I have tried to keep from posting this type of thread, but I can't.

I'm sure the other youngers members will agree with me when I say, I'm tired of seeing younger people get blamed for things around here. I just don't think it's fair to us, when we don't do anything wrong. It's been going on for awhile, maybe since the summer and it keeps happening. I was hoping it would stop soon, but I guess not. It happened in another thread in the past few days and I was upset about it. Everyone makes mistakes, and that includes adults, so can everyone just stop blaming half the problems on pt on us? It really hurts when in the summer, I'm browsing through a troll thread and I see posts such as "I can't wait till kids go back to school" and such. IT does hurt, because trolls can just as well be adults. I just don't get how we can be a "family" if the younger members get blamed for everything.

PT is a great place for everyone of all ages, and I think blaming younger people needs to stop. Blaming anyone really just needs to stop. Teenagers are a great part of the board and bring valued and well thought out opinions.

:( Sometimes, I don't feel welcome here anymore even and I don't post as often as I would like to.

I haven't been on much and must have missed something. I think your a valuable member of pt and you add a lot. I have stayed away and its not from a younger member, I had an adult accuse me of being a kid and make all kinds of accusations, that has soured me and that was not a kid.

I would have to say thats pretty much true,

Some adults think teens are bad either becauise the way they dress, talk ect ..

It's like no one understands it's the inside that counts!

Those grumpy adults where kids too so they can't blame certain things on us just because they feel like it, I get bad looks from adults sometimes because the way I dress or wear a hood with loads of eye liner .. they think I'm going to rob a place lol, so if you see a teen giving you a bad look ... look into the mirror because maybe your the one giving it to them in the first place.

So what if teens/kids can be loud, messy or do stupid things sometimes, it does not mean they don't have feelings, & if you think that way you need help.

Alyssa, try not to be hurt or take the comments personally. I personally think "immature" is a better word to use than "young people" because people of ANY age can be immature ;). The reason people say such things about young people, and school starting again, etc., is not because they believe all young people behave immaturely. But the fact is a lot of younger people, especially those with parents who don't set any rules and boundaries, become bored and look for mischief. So unfortunately this generalization ends up with the thought of "oh it must be some kid" when a troll shows up causing trouble.

Try to think of it this way maybe. You know how there are responsible dog owners, and then the owners who are terrible, irresponsible, and thus their dogs are holy terrors. The same goes with kids and parents :). There's nothing I like being around more than a happy dog of a responsible owner. The dogs are obviously more secure and happy, better behaved, you want to be around them! Same often goes with younger people. When they are responsible, mature younger people they are happier, more pleasant, and I'd choose their company over many adults I know!

When someone goes to a nice peaceful park and suddenly a couple dogs are tearing around, leaping on them, biting or acting aggressive, pooping all over, the person will likely get upset and leave, may even complain to the city that dogs shouldn't be allowed there. A good analogy can be made with kids with irresponsible parents. Go to a late movie and a parent is there with kids screaming and running around uncontrolled, and a person is likely to wish kids weren't allowed at the late movie at all. Unfortunately often a whole group gets "blamed" in a sense because of a few.

Kids are most often the culprits of being trolls, because the kids who do this probably have little structure in their life, may be horribly insecure or mistreated themselves, or purely lacking in attention. Adults can be trolls too, yes, but more often they are looking after families, homes, working jobs, and are less likely to be bored and seek that kind of entertainment.

So try not to take such comments personally. Know that you are one of the intelligent, mature, lovely young people that most of us, myself included, would prefer to spend time with than many people our own age! Stereotypes are frustrating and hard to deal with, but you can't let them get you down. Keep proving that stereotype is wrong, that there are wonderful, pleasant, responsible younger people out there like you. Many of the younger members of Pet Talk are some of the most pleasant younger people I have "known." You should be very proud!

Sorry for the long-winded post ;). But I hope it helps you to feel better. I hate seeing you down! {{hugs}}

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Originally Posted by Maltese_Love

:( Sometimes, I don't feel welcome here anymore even and I don't post as often as I would like to.

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I feel the same way as you do sometimes. Maybe it's because I'm still new here, or maybe it's the same reason as you. Either way, I don't feel like I should express my own opinion sometimes because an adult might make a bad comment about it. I know not all adults are like that, but some are and it bothers me. :(

No one should harrass anyone because of their age, or gender here. Likewise, though, no one should use age as an excuse, I have been told (in a PM) "well, my friends and I all type like that" when I asked someone to be more careful about spelling.

That said, remember the Eleanor Roosevelt quote: "No one can make you feel badly about yourself without your consent." Think about that.

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Originally Posted by Karen

No one should harrass anyone because of their age, or gender here. Likewise, tough, no one should use age as an excuse, I have been told (in a PM) "well, my friends and I all type like that" when I asked someone to be more careful about spelling.

That said, remember th Eleanor Roosevelt quote: "No one can make you feel badly about yourself without your consent." Think about that.

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Well actualy because of those PM's I think I'm actualy spelling better on the internet, don't get me wrong I do forget a few things. :o

I just wanted to say thanks Karen lol!

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Originally Posted by K9soul

Alyssa, try not to be hurt or take the comments personally. I personally think "immature" is a better word to use than "young people" because people of ANY age can be immature ;). The reason people say such things about young people, and school starting again, etc., is not because they believe all young people behave immaturely. But the fact is a lot of younger people, especially those with parents who don't set any rules and boundaries, become bored and look for mischief. So unfortunately this generalization ends up with the thought of "oh it must be some kid" when a troll shows up causing trouble.

Try to think of it this way maybe. You know how there are responsible dog owners, and then the owners who are terrible, irresponsible, and thus their dogs are holy terrors. The same goes with kids and parents :). There's nothing I like being around more than a happy dog of a responsible owner. The dogs are obviously more secure and happy, better behaved, you want to be around them! Same often goes with younger people. When they are responsible, mature younger people they are happier, more pleasant, and I'd choose their company over many adults I know!

When someone goes to a nice peaceful park and suddenly a couple dogs are tearing around, leaping on them, biting or acting aggressive, pooping all over, the person will likely get upset and leave, may even complain to the city that dogs shouldn't be allowed there. A good analogy can be made with kids with irresponsible parents. Go to a late movie and a parent is there with kids screaming and running around uncontrolled, and a person is likely to wish kids weren't allowed at the late movie at all. Unfortunately often a whole group gets "blamed" in a sense because of a few.

Kids are most often the culprits of being trolls, because the kids who do this probably have little structure in their life, may be horribly insecure or mistreated themselves, or purely lacking in attention. Adults can be trolls too, yes, but more often they are looking after families, homes, working jobs, and are less likely to be bored and seek that kind of entertainment.

So try not to take such comments personally. Know that you are one of the intelligent, mature, lovely young people that most of us, myself included, would prefer to spend time with than many people our own age! Stereotypes are frustrating and hard to deal with, but you can't let them get you down. Keep proving that stereotype is wrong, that there are wonderful, pleasant, responsible younger people out there like you. Many of the younger members of Pet Talk are some of the most pleasant younger people I have "known." You should be very proud!

Sorry for the long-winded post ;). But I hope it helps you to feel better. I hate seeing you down! {{hugs}}

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You saved me a lot of typing, thanks! LOL I agree with what K9Soul said. There are jerks of all ages, there are wonderful people of all ages, I don't have a problem with anyone's age on this board, only behaviors at times, of which all, adult and teens, are sometimes out of control with. Many of the teens on this board are very nice people and I respect and value their opinions. Maybe it's all in how it's presented, but there are several on here I'd rather speak to than some adults I know!

I think the problems on pet talk are well mixed. ;) I don't think it's the younger or older crowd who is always to blame.

I love that quote, Karen.

Thank you guys for posting..they made me feel better about what's going on around here. I truley can't stand seeing anyone gettign blamed for something they didn't do, I guess my main purpose was to really stop everyone from blaming everyone else..

hope that made sense.. :p

First of all, Jess, you've said everything I would have said and done such a beautiful job of explaining it(as always).

Alyssa, You're one of my favorite people here. I have always loved your posts, both written and pictorial. I always remember the captions you've used on Sassy's pictures. From the beginning, I would laugh so hard and think of how incredibly clever you were/are.
I am so sorry that anyone has upset you in any way. I think you're a great person, and a lovely and gracious lady. Like Jess said, be proud of yourself and don't let anybody here bother you!! :D

p.s. I'm really going to miss you while you're gone so I hope we can count on you to keep us posted on how you're getting along. Take care.

I agree Alyssa. I think it must sort of be partly stereotype. Maybe they think we are all like... gothic-emo-cutters or something. It is pretty annoying, but don't let it get you down!

(((HUGS)))

Speaking as a "young member", you should also utilize everything you see on this board as a growing experience. I think Jess said it beautifully when she suggested to keep proving the stereotype wrong. My life is dedicated to battling stereotypes and age is just another check on the list. Maturity does not come with age, unfortunately. Age is not the bringer of wisdom. Age is simply a number. However, with age comes more responsibility and more realization. Just as you have grown with this board, you've realized how others are sometimes blaming younger members for trolling, and that's a wonderful thing, Alyssa. It's wonderful to be able to open our eyes and to see the world from multiple view points. But, as you've noticed, some view points can be critically wrong and the best we can do is to correct those wrongs against us, be it passively or aggressively. When it comes to public forums like these, the best way to combat these unfortunate stereotypes is to keep posting with maturity, composure, and dignity.

I once spoke with a man who studied human behavior, and he told me that companies attract more customers when their employees are *sincerely* honest and willing to help. This shows us that people are attracted to dignity and respect. When you have respect for someone, you open your mind to them and you listen to their advice with earnest intrigue. So what does this prove to us? This tells us that the best we can do is to keep posting. Keep maintaing your dignity in all your posts. Keep your composure. Keep maintaining your maturity, and, soon, the stereotypes will fall away. Don't let a couple troll-ish posts ruin your experience. Look beyond that and find a higher goal in helping others with sincere dignity and respect. Like anything else, it will always repay you in the end :)

Alyssa I felt the same way until last night, I couldn’t sleep and started thinking. I think a couple members in here (including you) are a great role model of how teens and adults should act on PT. It’s not just us “children”, but of coarse this discussion on this thread has already been brought up.I also think I have grown and matured with PT. I was looking at my post last year and I am so embarrassed. I really can’t believe I typed and spelled like that. I know I am not perfect right now. But Geesh!

At work, I am always treated by my clients like I know nothing until I open my mouth. I get a lot of response of how mature they think I am. Also “children” can accomplish almost anything adults can do, and I just proved it to myself when I was asked to teach basic agility class.

I really thought I wasn’t really supposed to be here on PT. That people don’t accept me, and that I am one of those teens who annoy other members. But a couple days ago, some members that I thought didn’t like me started to become friendly and caring to me.

I also have a natural voice that sounds kind of babyish, and I used to try and talk in a lower voice to change my voice, so people don’t think of me as immature, I will answer the phone at work, and people will ask me if my mommy’s there. But once I educate them on dogs, they then ask me how old I am and there always is a shock when I say I’m 16.

Everyone posted great responses and I enjoy reading them. I really think it’s great to post these kind of things, it strengthens are community on pt. I could go on and on about this topic. To bad I can’t type a lot about my English essay I am trying to do right now. ;)

Thank heavens for you, Alyssa. I was thinking about posting a thread like this myslef recently, but you can word such matters far more gracefully (and politely!) than I.

I don't come on Pet Talk nearly as much as I used to, yes, partly due to schoolwork taking priority of my freetime, but also due to the matter of this thread. Sometimes, I get fed up of seeing threads made by teens not taken seriously, or opinions being ridiculed or discarded on the main basis that we, as adolescents, don't have enough experience of the world. And that's just complete rubbish.

I thank the adults who've posted on the thread with their sympathetic and helpful posts, you really are great to be around, and as teenagers we know that we can always turn to you for advice and can expect it given in a kind and curteous manner. :)

No-one knows everything and no-one here is completely thick, sometimes I end up thinking to myself that should be taken into consideration more in certain threads!

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Originally Posted by Flatcoatluver

I will answer the phone at work, and people will ask me if my mommy’s there.

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LOL - sorry, but when I answer the phone, people ask me that too, and I'm over 50!!! :rolleyes: ;)

I know it hurts now, but when you reach my age, trust me, you will laugh it off.


And BTW, when you do reach 50 - you won't LOOK like it!!! That's the nice perk of looking young now. I have met old school mates that are the same age, and they look like they could be MY parents! :eek:

Don't get upset over it, have fun with it!!!!

Personally, I generally have no idea at all how old someone is, what gender they are, etc. I don't go out searching for that information in profiles ... I don't care.

Perhaps you know I'm a middle-aged married woman ... or perhaps you might have thought I'm a teenager, or a man. How would anyone know, unless they read something in a specific post? And why would anyone care?

I could care less how old someone is. I don't know, and don't care. If someone types an incoherant post, I don't read it. If someone is rude and hateful, I call them on it. If someone posts incorrect information, I attempt to tactfully inform them. If someone posts a touching story or an insightful piece of information, I commend them for it. I do these things for EVERYone, I don't care how old you are.

I guess what I'm trying to say nicely is this: no one knows right off the bat how old a member is. If that member ACTS immature, they are probably going to, at some point by someone, be called immature and asked to grow up a little. That person could be 14 or 67 ... it is a person's ACTIONS on here that will garner criticism, not simply that person's chronilogical age. Act mature and you will be treated as such. And visa versa. I know some very mature, intelligent and reasonable teenagers on this board and in "real life". And I know some immature, silly and annoying adults. Treat others with respect, think before you post, don't get dragged down into petty, gossipy arguments ... and no one will ever question your age.

I, too, have felt that way before. But as many people explained (very well I might add!) it's immaturity, instead of age. Some people might unconciously assume someone is a younger person if they are acting immature.

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Originally Posted by Flatcoatluver

I also think I have grown and matured with PT. I was looking at my post last year and I am so embarrassed. I really can’t believe I typed and spelled like that. I know I am not perfect right now. But Geesh!

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You took the words right out of my mouth!! I look at my posts before and I cannot believe how much I changed the way I say things... plus I type better and capitalize things! I also cannot believe how ignorant and biased I was. I just coulden't except others opinions because I didn't want to hear them, even though they were right! That is why I'm so glad I joined this forum... I've learned so much, not to forget to mention, I've become a much more mature and open-minded person. I'm very embaressed and sorry for the way I acted when I was a newbie, and am glad how forgiving people are!

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Originally Posted by Twisterdog

Personally, I generally have no idea at all how old someone is, what gender they are, etc. I don't go out searching for that information in profiles ... I don't care.

Perhaps you know I'm a middle-aged married woman ... or perhaps you might have thought I'm a teenager, or a man. How would anyone know, unless they read something in a specific post? And why would anyone care?

I could care less how old someone is. I don't know, and don't care. If someone types an incoherant post, I don't read it. If someone is rude and hateful, I call them on it. If someone posts incorrect information, I attempt to tactfully inform them. If someone posts a touching story or an insightful piece of information, I commend them for it. I do these things for EVERYone, I don't care how old you are.

I guess what I'm trying to say nicely is this: no one knows right off the bat how old a member is. If that member ACTS immature, they are probably going to, at some point by someone, be called immature and asked to grow up a little. That person could be 14 or 67 ... it is a person's ACTIONS on here that will garner criticism, not simply that person's chronilogical age. Act mature and you will be treated as such. And visa versa. I know some very mature, intelligent and reasonable teenagers on this board and in "real life". And I know some immature, silly and annoying adults. Treat others with respect, think before you post, don't get dragged down into petty, gossipy arguments ... and no one will ever question your age.

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That was beautiful... :)

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Originally Posted by Twisterdog

Personally, I generally have no idea at all how old someone is, what gender they are, etc. I don't go out searching for that information in profiles ... I don't care.

Perhaps you know I'm a middle-aged married woman ... or perhaps you might have thought I'm a teenager, or a man. How would anyone know, unless they read something in a specific post? And why would anyone care?

...If that member ACTS immature, they are probably going to, at some point by someone, be called immature and asked to grow up a little. That person could be 14 or 67 ... it is a person's ACTIONS on here that will garner criticism, not simply that person's chronilogical age.

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I would have thought you were an adolescent girl by the tone of most of your posts I have recently seen here! :confused:

You know, the kind that is an expert on everything and is very condescending of those who do not share your opinions and sense of humor (or shall I say, LACK OF).

I don't post on PT much, but I like to read the threads and see everyone's pets from time to time. I should say that one of my all time favorites is BD with his tongue in cheek, sometimes eloquent style of writing and I did not appreciate your latest effort to bash him!!! :mad: :mad: :mad:

Great that you have contributed here where you are most admired and respected - the "Land of the Lost and Confused". Perhaps it is YOU THAT NEEDS TO GROW UP and get a life.

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Originally Posted by DIANESDOGS

Great that you have contributed here where you are most admired and respected - the "Land of the Lost and Confused". Perhaps it is YOU THAT NEEDS TO GROW UP and get a life.

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Inspiring words, there :rolleyes:

Twisterdog and I have had our disagreements, but she's never gone overboard with me and I always find her opinions valuable and informative. Now, whilst you may be too busy adding these to your posts :mad: :mad: :mad: , take a step back and a breather. If she really gets your goat so much, just put her on the ignore list. You don't need to come here and publically bash her, exactly the fault you are accusing her of!

Also, I know of your snidy little PM to Michelle (borzoimom). Get off your high horse and just calm down.

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Originally Posted by DIANESDOGS

I would have thought you were an adolescent girl by the tone of most of your posts I have recently seen here! :confused:

You know, the kind that is an expert on everything and is very condescending of those who do not share your opinions and sense of humor (or shall I say, LACK OF).

I don't post on PT much, but I like to read the threads and see everyone's pets from time to time. I should say that one of my all time favorites is BD with his tongue in cheek, sometimes eloquent style of writing and I did not appreciate your latest effort to bash him!!! :mad: :mad: :mad:

Great that you have contributed here where you are most admired and respected - the "Land of the Lost and Confused". Perhaps it is YOU THAT NEEDS TO GROW UP and get a life.

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I think this is a prime example of a immature adult on the PT boards.:rolleyes: It's not just the kids. I think there are SOME people on PT who hate having kids on the board but most people don't so jut don't let those nasty party poopers get to you they just want to ruin your fun.

I know what flatcoatluver and maltese_love mean.I feel very embarssed about my posts and attatudes just a few months ago.PT has helped me grow and I have learned a lot here.I think all the members are valuable even if I don't agree with them all the time.

Ok, I have to laugh at the adults behaving badly in this thread (there is more than one). Let's all let it go, and pretend we were just trying to prove the original point of the thread. ;)

Tempers flare here, there is no one age group it should be blamed on. I have had one member here really go after me in a blistering attack, and it was a middle-aged adult.

I think most of the conflict here is just because so much of what we talk about is emotionally high-stakes. There are a lot of really passionate and very different people here on PT. It isn't a bad thing, but it does sometimes make for rough waters.

That said, Maltese_Love, I honestly didn't know you were a 'younger member'. Your posts and attitudes have been of the caliber that it has simply never come into my head to wonder about your age or maturity. I am sorry your feelings have been hurt, but I am quite confident no one had you in mind when they griped about some of the younger members.

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Originally Posted by Sophist

That said, Maltese_Love, I honestly didn't know you were a 'younger member'. Your posts and attitudes have been of the caliber that it has simply never come into my head to wonder about your age or maturity. I am sorry your feelings have been hurt, but I am quite confident no one had you in mind when they griped about some of the younger members.

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Agreed! Maltese- I never would have guessed you were a "younger" member. I love your sense of humor and enjoy your posts!

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Originally Posted by DIANESDOGS

I would have thought you were an adolescent girl by the tone of most of your posts I have recently seen here! :confused:

You know, the kind that is an expert on everything and is very condescending of those who do not share your opinions and sense of humor (or shall I say, LACK OF).

I don't post on PT much, but I like to read the threads and see everyone's pets from time to time. I should say that one of my all time favorites is BD with his tongue in cheek, sometimes eloquent style of writing and I did not appreciate your latest effort to bash him!!! :mad: :mad: :mad:

Great that you have contributed here where you are most admired and respected - the "Land of the Lost and Confused". Perhaps it is YOU THAT NEEDS TO GROW UP and get a life.

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But don't you see, that is just what she is talking about, that age is not the main factor-it's maturity!!! And your post was very immature, don't make these attacks on people. It's ridiculous.

You should think twice before assuming the unofficial role of "house censor".

( ;) )

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Originally Posted by DIANESDOGS

I would have thought you were an adolescent girl by the tone of most of your posts I have recently seen here! :confused:

You know, the kind that is an expert on everything and is very condescending of those who do not share your opinions and sense of humor (or shall I say, LACK OF).

I don't post on PT much, but I like to read the threads and see everyone's pets from time to time. I should say that one of my all time favorites is BD with his tongue in cheek, sometimes eloquent style of writing and I did not appreciate your latest effort to bash him!!! :mad: :mad: :mad:

Great that you have contributed here where you are most admired and respected - the "Land of the Lost and Confused". Perhaps it is YOU THAT NEEDS TO GROW UP and get a life.

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Thank you for that wonderful example of the point I was trying to make ... that chronolgical age has absolutely nothing to do with maturity. You have demonstrated this fact so much better than I could ever have hoped to describe.

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Originally Posted by Twisterdog

Thank you for that wonderful example of the point I was trying to make ... that chronolgical age has absolutely nothing to do with maturity. You have demonstrated this fact so much better than I could ever have hoped to describe.

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touche

Back to the Original Post.

Maltese_Love, I am not sure what anyone has blamed on you but I am in agreement with what most have said. You have always seemed to be quite mature and have been an important part of PT for as long as I've known. I too haven't really given much thought to your age - as it has never seemed to be apparent or ever an issue.

Keep post'!!! :D

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You should think twice before assuming the unofficial role of "house censor".

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lol especially since she has only been here a few months and barley posts:p :rolleyes:

People always pick me up on my age on here- anything I disagree with I often get a 'what do you know your only 13'. I have had a youg person who is only 4 years older than me saying something on the lines of that! Why does age matter? :confused: