Too soon? Help :(

Tigger has been gone for 8 days :( I am constantly thinking about him, crying, missing him, and dreaming of him. However, something new has started today...

I can't stop thinking about KITTENS. I haven't wanted to even think about a cat/kitten ever since he left. I told myself I never wanted another cat/kitten. Ever! But now it's all I can think about it. It hit me when I was reading a thread, that mentioned multicat households, and it hit me that my house is now not one of them. I also don't want to put our tree up, because Tigger would always lay under it. I keep thinking a kitten would lighten up Christmas, and life in general. Emma, and the pups already help every single day, but I can't explain how I feel when I think of a kitten.

What I'm wondering is if all the grieving, crying, etc. is clouding my judgement. Is this a phase? Or is it real? I would really love some advice...something. I feel horrible for thinking like this right now, but the thoughts make me happy.

Help :(

Well, I guess you need to be sure you are not trying to "replace," that any new addition will be loved for himself / herself. As a member of PT, you know there are many wonderful kitties looking for a great home.

When I lost Amber, I couldn't think about another cat for months, and I couldn't understand how anyone could get another pet a short time after losing one. When I lost Dazzle, I needed - yeah, NEEDED - to have a new little one right away. Like, 6 weeks later. So each loss is different, just as each of us deals with each loss differently.

Don't feel guilty for your feelings; they are YOUR feelings. No one can make this decision but you. I think maybe you are doing it right, though. You are not acting on impulse, but really considering how you feel.

Best wishes.

Tigger is watching over you and making it possible now for you to think happy thoughts. Our furbabies come to us for so many reasons and if it's meant to be for you to have a kitten in the near future, you will know it when the time is right or you see that special guy or girl that "just has to come home with you" or finds you :)

Robyn for me Tigger is sending you a message. There is a kitty that needs you and he wants you to find that kitty. I know the grieving is sooo hard I have been through it. But don't think that this is clouded judgement. Read this poem and I will highlight the line that is oh so important. Tigger would want this.

Your Pet In Heaven

To have loved and then said farewell, is better than to have never loved at all.
For all of the times that you have stooped and touched my head, fed me my favorite treat and returned the love that I so unconditionally gave to you.
For the care that you gave to me so unselfishly.
For all of these things I am grateful and thankful.

I ask that you not grieve for the loss, but rejoice in the fact that we lived, loved and touched each others lives. My life was fuller because you were there, not as a master/owner, but as my FRIEND.

Today I am as I was in my youth. The grass is always green, butterflies flit among the flowers and the Sun shines gently down upon all of God's creatures.
I can run, jump, play and do all of the things that I did in my youth. There is no sickness, no aching joints and no regrets and no aging.

We await the arrival of our lifelong companions and know that togetherness is forever.
You live in our hearts as we do in yours. Companions such as you are so rare and unique.
Don't hold the love you have within yourself. Give it to another like me and then I will live forever. For love never really dies, and you are loved and missed as surely as we are.

Your Pets In Heaven

Follow your heart. Do what you feel is best for you and what Tigger would want. Don't sell yourself short because you feel it is too soon. Do what you feel is right.


(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))
I know you will make the right decision for you and your furrbabies.

Michelle & the girls

I think Tigger does not want you to be sad and lonely.
And one day, the Pet Angels will find a way for you to find a New Companion, not to take Tiggers place, but to help a Cat who needs a Furr Ever Home.
Tigger will be so happy that you are helping a Pet who really needs a place in the sun.

My parents' beloved cavalier dropped dead of a heart attack Sunday morning.

I am helping them find a new dog. One that will be right for them.

My siblings and I think it is life-affirming that they want another dog so soon.

It does not mean they loved KC any less. It is something they need to give love to and get love from.

If a kitten is what you need, then it is what you need.

As long as you aren't doing this to replace Tigger, then I say it would be alright to go ahead and get you a little kitten. You don't want to get one, and then not pay any attention to it. If you are going to love it for itself, then you are ready for another kitten.

Robyn, good luck in finding yourself another kitten.

Willie :)

Thank you all, you have really helped.

I was scared of wanting to replace him, as I thought it might have been a common feeling with grief, but I don't feel like I want a kitten because Tigger isn't here. I also wouldn't go out looking for a kitten exactly like him. I feel like there is room in my heart, and in this house, for another.

I also feel like the excitement, the welcoming and loving a kitten would lighten the mood. I'm not sure if that's a right reason? I've also never had a kitten since Tigger, when I was 10 years old(as Emma was an adult), and since I've been thinking about when I first got him, and how small he was, I'm getting some type of kitten fever. I just don't know if my reasons are right, but I feel good about them, except for feeling horrible because of how soon it is.

Michelle, that poem is so beautiful. The thought of my big guy "running, jumping, and playing again" really hit me, as he couldn't even walk on his last day. So that is very comforting.

I'm going to think about this for a while, and see how I feel...

I feel that if you Tigger was also sending you a message. I would think it over another day or two to be sure that this is what you want. I am sure you will make the right decision.

Everyone is different and some people need more time to grieve before they can even consider adopting another animal. I think that adopting another cat/kitten will help you with your healing process. I'm sure that you'll know when the time is right for you and Tigger may have a little kitten already picked out for you. Good luck.:)

Tigger will send you just the right kitten and it will be exactly what you need. There is a kitten somewhere that was born to be yours, give it time to find it's way to you then life will be complete again.

I think getting another one in Tiggers memory is a wonderful way to remember Tigger.

I think its honoring the love you feel for him by getting another kitten. Its shows he was such an important part of your life that you need something to fill the void he's left behind. You replace broken glasses, you don't replace loved ones.

My sweet Keke died just after Christmas 13 years ago. I loved that kitty more than anything, and I knew that she would stay in my heart forever. But I couldn't stand having an empty house while there were cats who needed adopting, so within a couple of weeks I went to the shelter and scooped up two adorable kittens.

If I hadn't gone looking as soon as I did, I wouldn't have found Kacey and Kiri. It took a long time for the hurt of Keke's passing to become bearable. But without the two little ones, I don't know how I would have managed at all. I have a houseful of cats now, but Kiri and especially my fluff-muffin Kacey will always be special.

So follow your heart. Tigger will approve.

Sweetheart, we all know how much you loved your Tigger. There is no reason to feel guilty because you want to give love to another kitty! ;)

Hugs,
Kim

Well, I've decided against thinking about a new kitty :( Actually, my mother gave me no choice but to decide against it. Even though she wouldn't listen to anything I had to say, I was forced to listen to what she had to say and I did see some points in it. I was upset for a while, but have decided that I will still be OK, and that I am lucky to have Emma, and the pups as it is :)

I still want to thank all of you for making me feel better about those feelings, and not guilty. You are all the greatest!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DogLover9501

Well, I've decided against thinking about a new kitty :( Actually, my mother gave me no choice but to decide against it. Even though she wouldn't listen to anything I had to say, I was forced to listen to what she had to say and I did see some points in it. I was upset for a while, but have decided that I will still be OK, and that I am lucky to have Emma, and the pups as it is :)

I still want to thank all of you for making me feel better about those feelings, and not guilty. You are all the greatest!

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I know a few years ago when I lost my RB Mytsi my mother also said no and I found out later that the reason for this was because she was hurt by Mytsi's passing as well and didn't know if HER heart to take another. But after some time she asked me "So when are you planning on getting another cat?" I was shocked as several months before she said there was no more cats coming into the house.

Give your mom time. She may decide later that she too would like another kitty and that would be great but if she doesn't that's ok too cause you can pour all your kitty love on Emma and spoil her absolutely rotten.


((((((((((ROBYN)))))))))))))
Give Emma some kisses for me and pass on some tummyrubs to the puppers. :)