i need some important advice

When me and Eric divorced I left him with everything. Including the house. I am the primary on the mortgage loan and Eric is the cosigner.

In our divorce papers we had it written up that he agreed if he was ever 30 days late making a payment he would refinance.

Well... he paid March's payment on March the 30 and it came back insuffecient. The payment wasn't actually "paid and cleared" unitll April the 7th. I now have this 30 day late payment on my credit.

Me and Eric are not speaking. We don't get along at all!!

I called a lawyer and he told me we can just file a contempt motion in the courthouse and take him to court... but he was asking WAY TOO MUCH money for this case. And after talking to him it seems like something I can take to court without actuall hiring a lawyer.

I typed up an email that I want to send to Eric to let him know I am aware of the 30 day late payment and he needs to refinance. But he is such a stubborn knucklehead and I know he is going to make this as hard for me as possible...

I really really want to do this out of court. But if worst come to worst ... does anyone here know the best approach to this to where it won't cost me a lot of any money?!?!? :confused:

Do you qualify for legal assistance? This sounds like something you REALLY need a lawyer to handle.....(and not the one who handled your divorce. I can't imagine letting MY credit be at risk for someone else's actions.)

Do you know a lawyer?

I mean as an acquaintance? It may be that Eric just needs to see and read a lawyer's draft of a letter - on official letterhead and in legal terms that he needs to refinance. It may simply be enough to let him know that he has violated your agreement and that "legally" now, he needs to refinance. It is a lot more intimidating arguing with a lawyer (or at least one that "he thinks" he might have to deal with) than it is to give you the brush off!

If that is not possible, I would at least try notifying him promptly of his violation and request that he refinance - perhaps he will!

Why "did" you leave him in control of your financial health?

Sorry... but I am bumping up Sara. She needs some women and perhaps most importantly "professional" advice. I'm thinking she is in a jam, and anyone with this type of experience or knowledge would be real helpful at this time.

Aside from the suggestion I've already offered, I don't know what else to tell her. Maybe Judge Judy???

I know she would side with you!

I agree with Edwina's Secretary. I do not know why you are being held responsible for a residence that you have no interest in. Why wasn't your name taken off of the mortgage at the time of your divorce? If one or the other of you could not buy out the other's interest the residence should have been sold and the proceeds split between the two of you. I am afraid you are in a position that would require the assistance of an attorney. My best advise to you is to get your name off of the mortgage. Sorry that I don't have anything more substantial to offer.

Call your state's bar association - ask if they have an "ask a lawyer" service - Masachusetts does, where you can go ask a question - just one - for free. If not, explain your situation, then ask for a referral for a lawyer who specializes in family law. Do not forget to mention that you are currently hugely pregnant, and would therefore like to get this whole matter resolved post haste, before you have other things to worry about, like diaper changes and sleepless nights.

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Originally Posted by Karen

Call your state's bar association - ask if they have an "ask a lawyer" service - Masachusetts does, where you can go ask a question - just one - for free. If not, explain your situation, then ask for a referral for a lawyer who specializes in family law. Do not forget to mention that you are currently hugely pregnant, and would therefore like to get this whole matter resolved post haste, before you have other things to worry about, like diaper changes and sleepless nights.

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I couldn't agree more.

Most importantly, you NEED to get your name off that mortgage ASAP! If he is living in the house, he should be 100% totally, fully responsible for it. If you are ultimately responsible for the mortgage, YOU should be living in the house!

Also, even if you have to pay a lawyer right now and it might seem like a lot of money, in the long run it will probably end up saving you money....and saving your credit rating.

Oh, and even if this is something it turns out you could handle yourself, I would suggest you get a lawyer anyway just to deal with communications with Eric. You certainly don't need that added stress right now.

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Originally Posted by Edwina's Secretary

Do you qualify for legal assistance? This sounds like something you REALLY need a lawyer to handle.....(and not the one who handled your divorce. I can't imagine letting MY credit be at risk for someone else's actions.)

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I agree. That your lawyer allowed things to be *settled* in this manner is unthinkable. Is the house still in both of your names? Has it increased in value (i.e. is there any equity which could be accessed should it be sold. If so, you might want to consider a separation petition. Is there anyone who can act as a mediator in trying to resolve the situation with Eric out of court?

I agree that you need to hire an attorney! QUICK! Most states have a legal service that is available to folks who cannot afford to hire an attorney. (Legal Services of....) And I think that the state bar association was mentioned also. That is a good idea.

When I divorced, he kept the house, but the divorce papers stated that he had to refinance it within 3 months of the divorce document being finalized. Of course, he had trouble refinancing, so he waited until the 11th hour to do it. I was never so happy to sign that last document so that he could no longer have the chance to ruin my credit.

Good luck Sara! I know that you are due very soon, and I agree that the sooner you get this taken care of the better. I hope you can find some affordable assistance ASAP.

Thanks everyone so much for the advice.

I guess the reason i'm in this situation is just because I am nieve. If I would have even known half the problems leaving the house in my name would have cost me I would have NEVER done it. I was just trying to be nice and make the divorce as easy as possible...

When we divorced it was a non contestant divorce.... and I never hired a lawyer. We agreed on the terms of the divorce and I really never thought it would get ugly. :o

:o Boy, the lessons you can learn in life. I just wanted OUT!

I'll take the advice given and see about getting a lawyer.



Sara,

What is legal assistance?? And how do I go about finding out if I qualify??

I really hope Cataholic sees this thread. She is an attorney and was helpful to my daughter in a legal matter in the past. Maybe you could shoot her a quick PM.

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I have no advice myself but just lots of ((((hugs)))) for you and that precious baby who will be here before you know it! :)

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Originally Posted by Sara luvs her Tinky

What is legal assistance?? And how do I go about finding out if I qualify??

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Call your local Bar Association. Most have Lawyer Referral Services, which will provide legal assistance/answer questions for free. They will be able to steer you in the right direction to someone who can help you; maybe even for free.

I don't know if this is just in Canada....but laywers are supposed to provide some of their work for free. "pro bono" it's called.

Also, calling up the YWCA or a good women's association or shelter might have some really good advice and legal contacts for you!

Good luck!

hugs
Catty1

I went through my Divorce over 6 years ago. I basically gave him everything but I did have my own attorney. When you did your divorce since it was uncontested did you both share an attorney? Just curious because if that is the case I would contact such attorney about fixing this problem. It's absolutely crazy that your name would remain on the mortgage. If your name is on all of this you can also be held accountable if something happens to someone on the property. If the intent was for you not to get any money out of the house at all and your husband has complete ownership over the property then I would contact the mortgage company and ask them about getting your name off this paper. If you are partial owner and are entitled to get moeny out of the house. get and attorney and sell that house. Sad but I learned a bit to late myself. In divorce the first one to the bank wins. Regardless what the reasons for divorce yours or his doesnt matter. I am sure you could use what ever money you can get out of it. Regardless of the situation do not feel bad when you have to do what you have to do. I am sure an attorney could fix this situation up for you fairly easy. Don't do it yourself. I know when I went for an attorney I had free consultations. So I would call a few to consult with them. Make sure you know that this consultation is free. Good luck. I feel for you. If you did have an attorney between the two of you I would go to the bar association since that attorney did not act in your best intrest by having you sign papers the way you both did. I brought my first attorney to the bar association and I did get money back from him took a year and a half but I got the money.
RIo&Nickysmommy

I would pm Cataholic she is good at this stuff . Shes a great lawyer.

I agree, if possible get an attorney and get your name off the house by him either buying you our or just selling it. I've run into this with my roomates. Because housing in CA is so expensive 3 of us went in together to purchase a house. I let them handle the morgage without thinking much about it. Then come to find out they've beem 30 days late on 3 of the payments. I was livid, since they never mentioned it to me, I found out when I went to buy my car. Needless to say I now handle the house payments or anything that pertains to my own credit. Never again will I trust someone else to deal with finances that will effect my own.

I just thought of another possible way for you to get some assistance. Does your community have "211"??? Our local United Way sponsors this program, which is a number for residents to call when they are looking for assistance and are uncertain where to start. It is worth a try. It may or may not be sponsored by your United Way.

I work for a local non-profit (we serve seniors!) and are a United Way partner agency. We often get calls for people looking for something and they call us! We usually refer them to 211 if we can't help them. I should have thought of this for you yesterday, but I was having a dumb*** attack I guess! Sorry, but I hope better late than never!

The other place you might want to consider looking at is your local law school. If you live in a community with a university that has a law school, they run clinics where the student lawyers "practice" with oversight from the professors. There are usually sliding payment scales for the work. So it might be worth looking into...

Thanks again everyone for the advice.

I pm'd Johanna.. but It doesn't seem like it took. I went to my "sent messages" folder and I don't see it there. :confused:

I think it just means that you PM boxes are full. I tried to PM you the other day and got the message that you box was full. Try deleting a few messages. :)

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Originally Posted by Pam

I think it just means that you PM boxes are full. I tried to PM you the other day and got the message that you box was full. Try deleting a few messages. :)

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o.k.

thanks Pam!

Are the late payments showing up on your credit report? You can get one free a year so it may be worth checking. If it is showing up, you may also want to call the credit agencies and tell them what is going on so they can add a note to your credit report. That way, if you do need to apply for credit at some point in the near future, they'll know why late payments were made.

I agree with the suggestion of checking out a local law school for advice/help clinics.

Unfortunately, this is not an uncommon problem, Sara. I did the same thing. I deeded over my interest in the house, but my name stayed on the mortgage. Thankfully, my ex husband is very responsible with financial matters and always paid the mortgage on time, so it was never an issue for me, but it would have been had I tried to buy another house while he still had that one because the payment would have still shown up on my credit report.

As long as your name is on that mortgage, you will always be responsible for payment, regardless of what your divorce papers say. The same goes for any other joint accounts (credit cards, car payments, etc). In my business (finance), I have found that many people believe that they are not responsible because the divorce decree says that the other party is responsible. Its just not true, unfortunately.

I wish you the best of luck getting this taken care of.

Logan

Sara,
I tried to pm you a few days ago about this. It IS a major problem, and one you DO need to address right now. While I feel you could file your own Motion for Contempt, I think, with your current situation, you might be better off seeking an attorney's assistance. If you would like more particulars, email me, or pm me (or call me!!!).

Johanna