I deserve an award ;)

for being the coolest step-mom in the history of step-parenting. ;)

We went to the OB-Gyn this morning and the nurses all rushed out to talk to me and they just gushed (yes gushed) about how wonderful I'm being and how supportive. I must admit it made me feel special and gave me a lump in my throat.

But really, what is so special about me being accepting and supportive? Wouldn't - SHOULDN'T - a parent do that for their child regardless the "mistake" they might make? Don't you love your child regardless bad choices? It makes me wonder! I know my parents would have done the same for me if I found myself in the same situation.

As for me... I am only doing what feels natural. You protect the younger ones as best you can and help them learn from their mistakes. I am being "led" by my mom who is beyond excited about all this baby stuff and is praying for the baby grand daughter my brother has yet to give her :D ;) My brother and his wife are being just so awesome to us. I always thought we had troubles getting along with my brother and his wife and we're seeing a whole new side of them.

I think this baby is gluing everyone together. I think he/she is a huge blessing..... so how on Earth could I be cold hearted and make her life difficult in a time when she's scared out of her mind? How could I be mean when there's an innocent child on the way? How could I resent the baby thats actually bringing together a ton of people who otherwise saw tension with each other?

Sigh... just had to say that. I don't really deserve an award. just being me and following what feels right. This baby is all the award this family needs.
I'm

Group {{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}

You are just doing what any mother would do... what are you suppose to do? Toss her out of the house pregnant with no where to go? Hummmmm, makes you wonder why they think it is so great, don't it? What have THEY seen before this?

I am sure they have seen this bring out the worst in people. Thankfully for everyone involved this baby seems to be bringing out the best in everyone, it is wonderful for all of you.

Maybe they aren't used to dealing with human beings with hearts?

For sure, they've never had a Pet Talk Grammy-to-be! ;) If only they knew how many cyber-aunties and uncles this baby will have, huh?

Kim,

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Sigh... just had to say that. I don't really deserve an award. just being me and following what feels right. This baby is all the award this family needs.

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Yeah, you DO deserve an award. But the rewards will be MANY when they place that precious grandchild in your arms. I think this is a new beginning for your entire family. Who woulda thunk a precious little baby is the one thing that brought it all together.

You done good, Granny. Keep up the great work!!!! I'm gonna knit that kid a blanket. How does pastel green sound???

Just because she isn't your biological daughter doesn't mean you can't love and support her as if she were your own.

Actually, you do deserve an award. As caseysmom and Karen said, they probably see a lot of teen pregnancies, and very little support.

Kudos to you!

I have wanted to say this for some time. You are the Mom in your home if the kids want to call you that is up to them .But to keep calling yourself stepmom just to me doesn't sound right ,you are doing the moms role. I love a line from the old Brady bunch show ." The only steps are right here leading up to our home and it is full of Love for all in it."
Just my thoughts I don't say it to make any one angry. My husband calls his step father dad. Maybe it's time to call her your daughter not step daughter I know you do think of her as such, maybe it can help .
Maybe I'm off base here but I have held this in for about a year.

We all new you were a cool step-mom. :cool: :)

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Originally Posted by Corinna

I have wanted to say this for some time. You are the Mom in your home if the kids want to call you that is up to them .But to keep calling yourself stepmom just to me doesn't sound right ,you are doing the moms role. I love a line from the old Brady bunch show ." The only steps are right here leading up to our home and it is full of Love for all in it."
Just my thoughts I don't say it to make any one angry. My husband calls his step father dad. Maybe it's time to call her your daughter not step daughter I know you do think of her as such, maybe it can help .
Maybe I'm off base here but I have held this in for about a year.

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Corinna, I only called her step-daughter here because in the past when I simply called her a my daughter, it caused a LOT of confusion. I just got used to saying Step-daughter here to cut down on confusion and get advice a little more tailored to the unique role a step parent plays in a family..... and with the one that's pregnant, I've sought a LOT of advice over the years about her! ;) :p

In life I often FORGET she's a step daughter and when I tell people I'm going to be a grandmom their eyes bug out and they ask "Um, how old is she and how old were YOU?" Yes, thats quite a nosey question but I don't mind because it IS human nature to wonder (by the way, I would have been 15 when she was born.... so yeah, I look waaaayyyy too young to be a grandmom). I minded the question EVERYONE asked us about when hubby and I were going to have a baby of our own - to me that was nosey and NOT simple curiosity. I felt I DID have children of my own with my husband. They just didn't share my biological information.

I think you are doing an awesome job, one that any mother would hopefully do for her daughter, the fact that you are a step-mom makes it all the more special. You don't have to love her because she is your daughter, you love her because you want to. You've made this step-mom proud.

I think you are a wonderful momto the kids and I think now all in the house will realize what a great one you are. I didn't mean any thing negitive with my other post. I do seem to remember some confustion your right. We do all know that you do think of them as yours. Nothing wrong at all about that DNA is over rated. I have an adopted brother and hes my brother none of us even see that hes an native american with his dark skin and our pale white scottish skin.

I think what you are doing is wonderful. My brother is gay and my dad is a typical tough guy dad. Sometimes people are surprised how well my dad and brother get along. What was he supposed to do? Kick him out? No way. They are really close now and have been for a while. I know it's different, but it's still all about accepting your kids with all their traits, mistakes, and blessings.

You most certainly do deserve an award! I think that my parents would have been supportive had I gone through the same thing, but I think it's hard to say until you are actually in the situation. I believe that a lot of parents do not handle this situation very well, and you were really thrown into the whole thing late considering you didn't even find out she was pregnant until she was 7 months along. All that considered, you are giving her so much love and support, yes, you do deserve an award ;)

Kim, I admire you so much for the support you are offering to your stepdaughter. The sad thing is that you have seen it coming for a long time, but you are there for her. Good for you! You are much more her "mother" than her biological mother.

Logan

Believe me, I think you are doing a WONDERFUL job at this, especially considering how you found out, and that she is already 7 months along! You DO deserve an award! You stand beside your "daughter", proud to be with her and supporting her through what must be so bizarre for her. All of the changes that she will see in her body and her social life will mean continued support even after the little one arrives. And from what I have learned about you, you will be there for everyone! That is a lot to ask of someone, and some may choose to ignore the situation and not be as helpful and supportive as you have been!

CONGRATULATIONS on everything! By the way, I bet your Mom is proud of you... after all, she is the one who helped you to become the wonderful person you are! ;)