There! Have finally admitted it and if I don't do something about my drinking its going to get out of control
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There! Have finally admitted it and if I don't do something about my drinking its going to get out of control
Please don't worry. And don't beat your self up. Just take one hour at a time - that's what I do!
And then it adds to 24's. It's okay to touch the bottle, as long as no one is hurt!
But it must be hurting you!
Now that you think something's wrong - Go to AA meetings; Al-Anon; church(?), a neighborhood gym; the library --- whatever delays the next drink for an hour! Those hours will add up!
You CAN get through this. Be strong. We are all behind you. {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}} and prayers.
We all have our vices, but with the loove and support of friends and family, we can break those bad habits and take control of adictions.
Oh Denise, What a brave thing to admit this here on the forum!! This is a big, even the biggest step to healing!! I have great respect for this!
My advise : try to find an AA- club or a person from whom you know he/she attends AA-meetings. AA is very good! They never attack you, they LISTEN,and help you all the way they can! I have 2 brothers-in-law who were heavy drinkers. The first one drank stuff like whiskey during at least 10 years. The other one was a heavy beer drinker. Always drunk! They both joined AA years ago now; they have been sober ever since!! I won't tell you it will be easy, but if you really want to do something about it, it WILL work, I promise!!
If you want to talk about it, you know where to find me ;) :)
http://users.pandora.be/bernardgabri...0940%20hug.gif http://users.pandora.be/bernardgabri...0940%20hug.gif http://users.pandora.be/bernardgabri...0940%20hug.gif
That was a brave step to take.Wishing you all the best in finding the help you need/want.
Oh Denise,
We are here to support you. The second step is to find an AA group, as the others have already said.
Be strong sweety!
(((hugs))) we are all here for you. It was so brave of you to admit that here, and that is the first step. More (((hugs))) and prayers coming your way!
Denise, I'm sorry to hear you have drink problem, but I also think you have taken the first step of doing something about it. :) ;)
Has it been sneaking up on you slowly, or did something happen when you felt it got out of control?
In any case, we're here for you if/when you want to talk. Know that you're not alone, there are more than you think out there with the same problem.
I really don't know the best way of dealing with it, but I'm sure others have some good advice.
I did know a guy years ago who joined AA, he was sober for at least ten years after, but I don't have contact anymore, so have no idea how he ended up.
Oh, I do believe that joining a gym, going for walks and eating healthy will help a lot.
Good luck!! :)
Hi, Denise!
Catty1 here - I passed 10 years of sobriety last October.
The length of time doesn't matter - cause just like I was born with brown eyes, I was also born with an inability to EVER drink alcohol normally(whatever that is! LOL) I am always one drink away from a drunk.
Best news - it is an illness. You are not bad trying to get good - you are sick wanting to get better. And you can!
The reason AA is mentioned by so many is that it is a way of learning to live without alcohol. There is a BIG difference between being dry(will power and white-knuckling) and being sober physically and emotionally.
It's a three-part illness:
1. Physical allergy - alcoholics lack an enzyme or two, and the way we metabolize alcohol sets up a craving. Craving is unique to us. "One is too many, a hundred isn't enough."
2. Mental obsession - the ill thinking tells us that one won't hurt, or we haven't had a drink in so long that we are okay now - any number of rationalizations that put us back where we were, and worse.
3. Spiritual illness. Interesting that alcohol is also called "spirits", isn't it? :) This was my higher power, it solved everything and ran my life - and was going to kill me from early death from illness or suicide. It certainly wasn't LIVING at the best of times. Just keep an open mind on this, go to meetings and hear how everyone has worked this out in their own individual way.
Alcoholism is a progressive and fatal illness. Only YOU can decide if you have alcoholism.
Here's how I decided:
"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if, when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic."
Even though I was BORED with it, I still kept starting up again.
I hope neither you nor anyone else here thinks my sharing is in bad taste.
Denise, feel free to PM me, okay?
hugs hugs hugs
Catty1
PS: AA is a 12 Step program - and you have taken Step 1 already! "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable." If this fits you - welcome to the club! :D
I am sorry you are going through this. I wish you all the strength you will need.
Brody's Mum,
That's a big step, admitting you have a problem with alcohol. I've been sober since I turned 40 (13 years ago). Don't miss it at all!!!
The fist thing you need to do is call the toll free number for AA and find out where there's a meeting in your area. If you don't feel comfortable going alone, bring a friend. That's what I did. The more meetings you go to, the more you'll start feeling comfortable. Once you know everyone, you'll need to get a sponsor. Someone you can call when you feeling like taking a drink. It's like a buddy system to help you stay sober.
I've PM'd you with my phone number. Call me anytime!!! I mean that. I'll hang up and call you right back so it won't cost you anything. We're behind you 100% Denise. Anytime you feel like taking a drink, pick up the phone first!
Your biggest step now is to get to a meeting, stand up and say, "Hi, I'm Denise, and I'm an alcoholic. You may not do it in the first try, but that's okay too.
I'll be praying for you. It takes alot to admit what you just did. Take it one day at a time. It doesn't happen overnight. You'll have relapses (I did). They make you stronger. But it WILL happen, but for the Grace of God.
(((((HUGS)))))))))))
Donna
Hey Donna. Another friend of Bill's!
I know a few folks who have had relapses - I haven't, and sure hope I don't. I just don't want Denise to get the idea that it will happen for sure, but that it is ok if it DOES too, and to just keep coming back!
The money I spent on booze now just goes on cat toys, cat toys, cat toys... LOL
Catty1,
Oh yeah! We've been best of buds since 1993. My friends live in the "hotel", B and B where he was born, behind the bar. They've renovated it through MANY generous donations of time and materials. It's in East Dorset, VT and it is WONDERFUL!!! They have all homemade cooked food, fresh garden vegetables, "to die for" desserts including their famous Bread Pudding. I'm hungry just thinking about it.
Across the street from the Bill Wilson Homestead, is his childhood home. My very first cat, Molly Rose, is a Wilson House cat. She'll be 12 in May. We have a very special bond.
Mine is cat food, cat food, cat food. :p
I started a new thread "Cyber AA Meeting". Anyone care to join me??
http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthre...18#post1448218
Congratulations, you've just taken the first step. I'm also a recovering alcoholic - Moosmom started another thread here as a cyber AA meeting. I've been sober a little over 19 years, however I know when you're just starting to admit that you have a problem, it's hard to conceive of someone not drinking for that long, but it has been possible for me and countless others through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. AA is listed in every phone book in the world and there are meetings everywhere.
Now that you've made the admission here, pick up the phone and find out where a meeting is close to you, go, raise your hand as a newcomer and let us show you how it is possible to live a happy life without alcohol. It's not easy. You've shown a lot of courage and strength just by posting this thread so I know you can do it.
I want to commend you for taking the first step in your recovery! I am not a alcoholic but was raised by acholic parents. What I want to say to you is to GO to AA or find someplace, somebody, help, to help get you through this and can explaine the process as you are going through it so that you won't feel like you are "loosing it", "going crazy" and to help teaching you how to cope in other ways rather than turning to the drink.
There is so much more out there today than there was when my parents were alive, a much better understanding of it and tons of help.... all you have to do is ASK! May God be with you and help you through it!
I have had MANY non drinking alcoholic friends that I have really admired. My buddy Mike has just got his 2 year chip and I am really PROUD of him! We are here if and when you need us!
To all of you who have replied and pm'd me - thank you so much! I will respond more when I get back to my pc at work. Hubby hit the roof when he saw this thread (teach him to snoop) although to be fair he didn't know I've been swigging out the vodka bottle at 4am..........
Okay, will talk to you tomorrow then :) .Quote:
Originally Posted by Brody's Mum
Didn't your hubby know about your problem?? I hope he will support you :)
We are SO good at hiding what we do. I stayed employed until the bitter end, "pulling it off" and just passint muster. The only person I was fooling was myself.
We'll "talk" tomorrow.
it's a good day to be sober! Every day is a good day to be sober. I remember the day I couldn't anymore. I HAD to drink. AA has changed all that.
As others have said, find an AA meeting. Cyber meetings are ok, but you really need to be face to face with others who share this experiences, and can offer you the kind of guidance and help you need. look in your phone book, sometimes your local newspapers list phone numbers. If you don't want to go alone, someone will pick you up. Stay in touch!
Congratulations on taking the first important step to recovery, other's have given you great advice, i can only tell you from a different perspective, i have been the partner of two alcoholic men,and can tell you my personal experience, remember Alcoholism is a disease and it effects the whole family, they are ill too, so please for everyone's sake get the help you need .
Be honest with your husband and tell him how much you are drinking and that you want help and his support, I have been through it all with my first husband, the counselling, the drying out, the hospital care,the relapses etc, i never really blamed our split on the drinking and it is only today i realise that is exactly what caused it all,because it changes one's personality completely.
I admire your courage here and hope that you will beable to be strong and take the necessary steps to sobriety, I wish you well.
Congratulations on your very bold first step! The first step to life without alcohol!!! GOD BLESS and keep you!
(((HUGS)))
KIm
Good morning my dear, dear friends.
For the first time in a very long time I fell asleep naturally last night and woke up without that "morning after" feeling. Your posts and pms have given me so much strength - I was able to confess all to my husband who was shocked at the extent of my problem but is now being fantastic.
The bond between PTers gave me the courage to face up to my problem and find the determination to take control. Thank you all for your love and support
Just some extra hugs this morning.
{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}
{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}
But remember, you may not be able to do this completely on you own. Seek help and take all the help you can get. Nothing beats support and empathy from those who have "been ther, done that". You CAN do this!
Have a great day!
Today has been brilliant so far! Feel so much happier than I have done in a long time. Went to the pub with my workmate today and we both had soft drinks - was able to explain to him exactly what was happening so I've got support here too............I'm so lucky to have so many people in my corner :D
God bless you and the very best of luck. I am so glad that you are having a very good first day of the rest of your life. What a way to kick it off!!! But please don't be fooled by your temporary boost of confidence. Take to heart all of the good advice you have received so far and continue on with your mission to gain control. I am so glad you have the support of those closest to you and that they will be there for you!!!
Knowing I've got you all rooting for me is such a boost too. I am sure I will have bad days but I'll know where to come for help :D Will also embrace the word "moderation" as this was my major downfallQuote:
Originally Posted by BOBS DAD
That's great that you are taking a few steps in the right dirction. If you are a problem drinker, this may be enough. but if you are an alcoholic, you have a disease, not "a few bad days" or "not enough willpower". Please keep an open mind to seeking help from Alocholics Anonymous. You might try going to a few meetings, just for information. There are many beginner's meetings, and what's called "open" meetings for just this purpose. (meaning it's "open" to anyone to attend, not just alcoholics) A lot of people go to these to find out more, to decide if they really are alcoholic.Quote:
Originally Posted by Brody's Mum
Did you know that being an alcoholic has nothing to do with how much or or how often you drink? it has to do with WHAT HAPPENS WHEN you drink. Alcoholics react differently than non-alcoholics, even if you only have one drink. it is a disease, like an alergy.
Hope you have a safe, sober day today. Please PM me - I'd love to talk with you more and can maybe answer some of your questions. (((hugs))) Life is so good sober! :)
PLEASE get to a few meetings just to check it out - also have a checkup with your doctor, and make sure you get a "liver function test" (part of the bloodwork).
I am SO glad you had a peaceful night - this is a taste of how sober life can be.
Please keep going from here...if nothing else, try to get a copy of the book "Alcoholics Anonymous" (lovingly called the Big Book by AA folks) and read up more on the illness.
Maybe you are not an alcoholic. But just give yourself a break and check it out a little further - how wonderful that you have all the support!
hugs
Catty1
I had one of these recently and everything is functioning as it should be - thank God. I think I have had a wake up call at the right moment.Quote:
and make sure you get a "liver function test" (part of the bloodwork).
If I don't have anything tonight it will be my first day in 5+ years without an alcoholic drink of some description. The aim is to stop drinking completely on week days and only have a glass or two of wine or a beer at weekends like I used to and not to drink every day like I do at the moment.
Have also bought a silly table top football game to play at work so on days when I have nothing to do at lunchtime I can challenge my colleagues to a game instead of going to the pub!
Well...I hope this works. As someone said, you might only be a heavy drinker.
If you are alcoholic, you will not be able to have just one or two. You'll be back where you were sooner or later.
What's important is you find out what is true for you.
HUGS!
Catty1
My step grandpa died because of the bottle. The damage to his liver was so intense that there was no helping him. I barely drink because I don't ever want to die that way. :(
I commend you for taking the steps to help yourself. *HUGS* You can do this!
Hmm. ...good luck with that. It is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker to be able to control and enjoy their drinking.Quote:
Originally Posted by Brody's Mum
As for going into bars while newly trying to stop drinking, it's been said that if you hang out in barber shops, you will eventually get a haircut. .... I think you can figure the rest out.
As others have said, do try to go to a few AA meetings to see how you identify. Keep talking! You've made a terrific start.
Keep remembering that we're here for you, even tomorrow and the next day and the next ... Glad you told hubby and that he's also on your side, and that you were able to have a soft drink at lunch. Both great steps!Quote:
Originally Posted by Brody's Mum
Please Please get yourself asessed professionally, you really need to know are you just a problem drinker or an alcoholic, if the later you cannot just drink in the weekends, you have to stop for good, one drink and you will be back to exactly how much you were drinking before.
My ex was told to change his whole lifestyle really, it meant not associating with his drinking mates and going to pubs , at least in the early stages of gaining sobriety, it is only temptation.
I am thrilled you opened up to your husband and he has been so supportive, he is going to be your backbone from now on.
Remember this effects your whole family,they just might need some other support themselves to help you through it all,for me my experience has scarred me for life,but that does not need to be the case for you and hubby.
Many people think an alcoholic needs to be drinking a lot of booze, my ex only had two bottles of beer a week, hardly what you would describe as being a alcoholic, but he had to have that no matter what, even if we were broke, it came first, also because he was not getting enough for his habit, he was very bad tempered and hard to live with.
I don't want to put a downer on your progress, but it sounds like you might be in a bit of denial,i only come to that conclusion by your decision to drink weekends only, however as i pointed out you need to be assessed to see exactly what is what, good luck to you.
Hmmmmm.........some good points made here. Won't get into the mindset of "just the one won't hurt" because it will.
Went the whole of yesterday without having an alcoholic drink of any description! The biggest challenge was the evening when we normally have beer or vodka while watching telly. I treated myself to a big thick magazine to read and although I thought about a drink occasionally I didn't have anything! In fact after a while I was hoping my hubby would suggest one so I could say "not for me thanks"......
Apart from determination to get myself under control another incentive was to be able to come here this morning and say "I didn't drink yesterday!!!" :D and do you know what? I'm not going to drink today either!!
Well done mate. :) Advice can be good, but whatever you do, do it for yourself. Only you will decide how you go about this. As everyone has said, you will always have great support at Pet talk. ;)
Well done you! I was thinking about you last night and wondering how you were doing. I'm impressed. :D
Thanks :D
I suppose its times like this when my stubborn streak comes in useful! I gave up smoking without any "help" (after a few useless attempts) and got to my target weight within a month so I know I can do this too. Being able to come here and be so open and honest has helped me so, so much
I know little to nothing about AA. I do know that we all have our problems, some of us more than others! I congratulate you for having the courage to admit openly that you think alcohol has been your problem. Please don't feel alone with your problem - ever - and know that the Pet Talk people who know much about AA will be there for you. (((((((((Brody's Mom)))))))))
I cannot believe how "tight" a group many of us/they/we are! This has just got to be one of the best web sites out there.
Karen and Paul, thanks so much for allowing these humans the place to meet, greet and convene.
(((((((((((((Karen and Paul)))))))))))))))