At Wits End

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03-22-2006, 06:50 PM
K & L

At Wits End

Leila is stretching my patience and I've about had it with her. What to do is the question?? She bullies the others and is now turning on precious Kurby, who bothers no one! She spray's and is very tempermental. I don't know how many times I've been tempted to open the arcadia door and let her out. The others do not like her, nor have accepted her. Usually they're very good about bringing another cat into the household. UGH....*sigh*...wahhhh I just don't know what to do with her. She was dumped in the park and this may explain it (even though that isn't how it should've been handled).
03-22-2006, 06:58 PM
Lizzie

Can you medicate her to calm her down?

If she is creating an atmosphere in which the other cats cannot thrive, then you may have to choose to oust her in some way because she should not deprive them of their quality of life. I'm putting it that way because it is so easy in these circumstances to feel guilty because you feel that you can't cope, you are giving up. Look at it as purely as you can from the perspective of all your other cats.

How well was she doing in the park after she was dumped? Is she capable of surviving if she joined your feral cats at work?

I'm really sorry you are being faced with such hard questions and choices. Some cats seem to have been sent to test us to the limit.
03-22-2006, 07:08 PM
catmandu

Thats very sad taht your Good Intentions with Leila are being frustrated by the fact that shes so Fearful of Your Cats,and does not know how to use the Litter Box.
I pray that you can find hera Furr Ever Home where her New Guardians will able to calm her down.
We wish you the best of Luck with Leila.
03-22-2006, 07:13 PM
K & L

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lizzie

Can you medicate her to calm her down?

If she is creating an atmosphere in which the other cats cannot thrive, then you may have to choose to oust her in some way because she should not deprive them of their quality of life. I'm putting it that way because it is so easy in these circumstances to feel guilty because you feel that you can't cope, you are giving up. Look at it as purely as you can from the perspective of all your other cats.

How well was she doing in the park after she was dumped? Is she capable of surviving if she joined your feral cats at work?

I'm really sorry you are being faced with such hard questions and choices. Some cats seem to have been sent to test us to the limit.

Actually I relocated her from the park to here. Because of her temperment we chose, at the time, to leave her outdoors. She was doing fine until Cosmo, another outdoor feral, chose to pick on her and bit her quite badly. After that Leila kept trying to come indoors so we thought we'd give it a try. It's been months now and things have not settled down. I'm so tempted to put her out back again. Sad part is every evening when I go to bed she runs in there and sleeps above my head. She makes it difficult to just toss her aside. :(
03-22-2006, 07:39 PM
jenluckenbach

Is it at all possible to find her a barn home? Or a home as an only cat with acsess to inside and outside? Is Cosmo still in your area, maybe outside WOULD be better for her?

No matter what we say, you will feel like you are discarding her, but try to remember that the other cats in your home have rights too. If they could vote, what would they say?? Keep her or relocate her?
03-22-2006, 07:45 PM
Tubby & Peanut's Mom

I'm so sorry she's still causing such troubles. With as many cats as you have, you need harmony amongst them for sure.

Can you possibly try and find her a home where she is the only kitty? That way you wouldn't be giving up on her or feel like you're tossing her out. How is she with Scooter? Maybe if you close her in the bedroom with him for most of the time and only let her out occassionally?
03-22-2006, 08:41 PM
Laura's Babies

The other babies shouldn't feel terrorized in their own home so you know you have to do soemthing.. Cage her, put her outside, rehome.... It is the feral in her coming out I think?
03-22-2006, 08:52 PM
K & L

Thanks everyone for your input. Leila was never a feral, but a dumped pet cat. She was too friendly to leave in the park in fear she would come across the wrong hands. My fear in rehoming her is she is VERY tempermental and seems to have the problem of spraying. This makes me wonder if this isn't why she had been dumped in the first place? I would hate to find her a home only for them to get rid of her because of these issues. She's in the bedroom quite a bit with Scooter, but will not let him near her. I'm normally very tolerable of "bad" situations until they work out, but I'm not sure if this one ever will. Of course the wear and tear on me cleaning up daily after Scooter, and Bo with all her problems lately, hasn't helped. I will keep you all posted on the outcome once decided.
03-22-2006, 08:59 PM
rg_girlca

Lisa, I am so sorry that it isn't working out with Leila. Personally I would confine her to a room, if that is possible and start looking for another home for her, possibly without other cats. You have to do what is best for your own cats. There are just some cats that are better off alone and Leila sounds like one of them. You do so much for the cats that have crossed your path Lisa, I know you will do what is best for Leila.

Prayers and ((((((HUGS)))))) going out to you.
03-22-2006, 09:33 PM
Catty1

Kirsten - is there someone who could foster her as an 'only' cat, and then you could see if that is a situation where she would do better?

HUGS!

Catty1
03-22-2006, 09:36 PM
kimlovescats

Lisa, I know that you of all people have given Leila plenty of opportunity to change. If you have to put her back out, then maybe that is best for her. I agree that your inside kitties deserve to live in peace and not with the fear of being stalked. Good luck!!!

Kim ;)
03-22-2006, 11:06 PM
Lizzie

Quote:

Originally Posted by K & L

Sad part is every evening when I go to bed she runs in there and sleeps above my head. She makes it difficult to just toss her aside. :(

That's the killer, isn't it? She's tame, she's been rejected, she needs you. I have been in your type of situation a few times with a cat that gave the others a very hard time, sprayed, was intensely possessive, and that obviously needed contact with me. I tried to make one an outdoor cat but he ended up getting beaten up. I tried isolation, but that's a grim scenario. I ended up with a kind of semi-isolation, pretty much as you seem to be doing now, and the other cats had to cope. Two lived in a narrow hall cupboard for years to escape the predatory one. Both problem cats needed to be only cats with adoring owners, but, like you, I knew there was no home that would keep them and I didn't trust anyone to return them to me for sure if there were problems. I was afraid they'd just "get rid of them" rather than bring them back. I philosophized that we all have to cope with bad situations at times, working with people we loathe, living with relatives that drive us mad, dealing with children that seem alien for a time. It didn't really help, I don't think anything did. We all simply lived with the bad situations for years.

I think all we can do to help is commiserate with you.
03-23-2006, 01:36 AM
krazyaboutkatz

Lisa, I'm sorry to hear that you're still having problems. :( I hope that you'll be able to find a solution to your problem. Good luck and please keep us posted.
03-23-2006, 01:12 PM
Catsnclay

Lisa-
Did you ever stop to think that maybe Leila WANTS to be an only child? She may just stop all her bad habits once she becomes the only cat.

Is there someone at work that you know that will take her on at test/possible keep type basis?

We know that she is a loving kitty (runs to sleep with you) but she just might be the type of cat that doesn't get along with ANY cat or animal.

I would try re-homeing her before putting her out. I too will look around for you, but you already know my connections :rolleyes:
03-23-2006, 01:19 PM
K & L

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catsnclay

Lisa-
Did you ever stop to think that maybe Leila WANTS to be an only child? She may just stop all her bad habits once she becomes the only cat.

Is there someone at work that you know that will take her on at test/possible keep type basis?

We know that she is a loving kitty (runs to sleep with you) but she just might be the type of cat that doesn't get along with ANY cat or animal.

I would try re-homeing her before putting her out. I too will look around for you, but you already know my connections :rolleyes:

I do wish I knew of someone, but you know how we've depleted about everyone we know that wants/needs a cat. I really believe Leila had these problems before and that's why she was dumped. I'm sure we'll get something figured out, let's just hope it's before I lose it! :D :eek:
03-23-2006, 01:21 PM
bleupurrs

At Wits End

I agree with Catty1, it sounds as tho' Leila needs to be the only cat in the household.

I once took in a beautiful girl named Dandilion, she was living in a mobile home with 3 dogs and a baby.
Dandi never adjusted to being in my home with 3 other cats, there were constant fights and peeing on the stairs and other issues.
My daughter had a friend at college who needed a companion, and she fell in love with Dandi and they lived together in peace and harmony for many, many years. ;)
03-23-2006, 02:13 PM
K & L

I will try and get a video of how Leila acts and post it here. The spraying and not getting along with the other cats is only part of her problem. Leila has a mean side to her even when things are going her way. Last night she bit into Kevin when he just reached over to pet her. Not a playful bite, but a leave me alone or there'll be more where this came from, bite. She has attached herself to me, and even with that will attack me when she gets in the mood. There have been times when I just walked by her and she lept up and swatted me. Sometimes she'll growl when you try and pet her. Even if she was an only cat she would have to have an owner that would accept and tolerate her moody disposition. This is not always easy to find. She has a personality problem and I hate giving up on her, but it's becoming stressful for all.
03-23-2006, 02:19 PM
Lizzie

If she sleeps on your head at night and indulges in unprovoked attacks, aren't you concerned about being hurt while you are asleep? We all move around in our sleep; I hope she never sees this as a "space invasion". Have you considered behavior modification medication?
03-23-2006, 03:05 PM
K & L

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lizzie

If she sleeps on your head at night and indulges in unprovoked attacks, aren't you concerned about being hurt while you are asleep? We all move around in our sleep; I hope she never sees this as a "space invasion". Have you considered behavior modification medication?

You know as strange as it sounds, I'm not afraid of her. I've dealt with far more scary ferals than this. :D Medication is my next step. I'm going to talk to our vet and see what he recommends.
03-23-2006, 03:07 PM
Maya & Inka's mommy

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tubby & Peanut's Mom

Can you possibly try and find her a home where she is the only kitty?

That is my suggestion too! Don't feel bad about it, you did all you could to make Leila feel at home. I know this is easier said than done, because you are attached to her now.
Whatever you decide, you have my support!!
03-23-2006, 03:11 PM
catland

I'm so sorry that things aren't going well. You have done so much for so many kitties that this must be tough.

All I can do is share some of my observations about my guy Strauss, the cat that came to live with us last year when his human died.

I think that a lot of Strauss's behaviour was based on insecurity. His old home and old life was gone, and now he was thrown into a house with three kitties and two humans instead of one kitty and one human.

So we've given him lots of attention. He has his own couch in a back room and his own food dish. When he and Sid get in a mood and both insist on hanging out with us in the living room, we put up visual barriers so that they don't have to look at each other.

He used to swat at me when I'd reach down to pet him. I've found that he's much more receptive if I sit down next to him first, so he doesn't just see this hand thing coming down from the sky to attack him.

OK - some may object to this strategy, but we've also fattened him up a bit by giving him canned food whenever he wanted. Our theory is he's full and happy, and maybe now he'll be a little slower than when he was lean. Don't worry, he's not obese, but he is a little rounder in the belly now.

But we also have a zero tollerence policy regarding bad behavior - which consist of 10 minute "time-outs", locked away in a back room.

Hope this helps.
03-23-2006, 08:39 PM
Catty1

I hope you can get some medication help...might take the edge off her. I wonder if cats that are calmed that way can learn how to behave, and wean off the meds later?

HUGS and good luck!

Catty1