I think I need to rehome Monte

This just totally breaks my heart. Monte is now 2+, and a holy terror. He stalks Georgia constantly, and I am pretty sure he is the reason Minnie is peeing on the couch in the middle of the night. I have such a tiny house, and while I do confine Georgia to my bedroom while I am not home, it just doesn't seem fair to her. SHE isn't the problem. Monte is. Ever since Tex made the trip to the bridge, it has been pure h***. I talked to the vet about medication for Monte, and he said while it might make some difference, it is not going to eliminate the stalking. I have plenty of boxes, two food stations, enough Feliway to cover the square footage, and it just doesn't matter. The fights in the middle of the night are just horrible, Georgia has chronic diahhrea, and while it is not JUST cause of Monte, he doesn't make it 'better'.

Sigh. What should I do? I would really like to find a home for Monte and Gus, as they are great playmates, and I would feel less awful about kicking Monte out if I knew he was going with his little friend, Gus.

Monte is perfectly loveable, GREAT with Jonah, and no problem with anyone else. He is just a big, fat bully. Poor Georgie just doesn't deserve this (nor does Minnie).

Any other solutions besides rehoming two of the kids? :(

It's terrible, and I have no good advice :( I hope you can have the time to find him a good new home, I mean a home in which you are sure he will be OK, it will be hard but at least you would know he is in good hands...

I'm so sorry to hear this I hope some kind and big hearted pet talker can give them a good home. All the pet talk adoptions between pet talkers have been really great I know I go a heck of a great dog from mine.

No advice, just (((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))

Good luck with which ever option you choose.

Have you tried putting him in a kennel when he is acting so bad? Punishment for being bad..... time out... That might make him realize his behavior is unacceptable and kennel HIM when you are gone, not Georgia in another room. If he is smart, he will connect it all together.

Boy I wish I had the answer for you cause we're going through this ourselves. I've about had it with Leila and her peeing. This morning she stood right in front of me and started to spray on my work bag! :mad: I yelled and she ran. Between her, Mouser, Bo, and Avon there is a constant battle at our place these days. I've been considering just putting Leila back outdoors, but really hate to do this to her. If you find the right answer let me know. I wish you luck cause it's not easy thinking of rehoming, I know!

Johanna,

I know how difficult it is when you have disharmony in your fur family. When Casey was alive, I had to rehome my cat formerly known as Tucker, now known as Otto, because he kept picking relentlessly on Casey. Tucker needed to be an only cat. I was fortunate enough to have 2 friends that were looking for a cat. He's now THE most spoiled cat in the whole universe. I cat sit for them all the time, and am able to visit him whenever I want.

I can't really give you any advice. All I can tell you is, I can completely relate to your problem and send (((((((((hugs)))))))) and prayers your way that you can fine a solution to the issues they're having.

Love,

Donna

I'm so sorry you're faced with this right now. Sometimes you HAVE to do this in order to keep peace and allow your other cats the stress-free home they deserve.

I sooo wanted to keep foster Aladdin this past Christmas. Even hubby wanted to. But it became apparent Aladdin was just like Monte and I gave him up to another family (where he apparently is doing the same thing there :o) As much as I wanted to love that boy, I knew my cats didn't deseve to be terrorized.

Rehoming Monte isn't a crime. Especially after you've given it ample time to settle down, for him to grow and mature, etc. He deserves a home where he's happy and free to be himself. You deserve a home where you're not constantly going after one cat all the time and soothing the fear out of other cats. Your cats deserve a home where they don't have to keep a lookout for the terror coming down the hall.

I know you are very level headed and wouldn't just jump to this conclusion. I'm sure you've given much thought to this and are not making this decision easily. I wish you luck!

That is so sad! :( I wish I had some advice for you, but it seems you already tried everything. Sometimes it's just not working.

If I understood you right, he started acting like that after Tex went to the Bridge? How long ago is that now? Sometimes the social structure in a cat group gets totally out of balance when one is missing, and they first have to define a new hierarchy? Just a thought...

Kirsten

I PUT tUBBY 2 IN THE CELLAR IF HE IS BEING BAD,WHICH HE DOES WHEN THE KITTENS BOTHER HIM.
I HOPE THAT YOU CAN WORK SOMETHING OUT WITH MONTE AND GUS,SO THEY CAN BE TOGETHER.

I admire you for facing up to this dilema and being prepared to make tough decisions. My Artful Dodger was a constant stalker and pouncer, he even jumped on my elderly Ginger the day before he died of multiple disorders, he just couldn't stop the behavior. I tried medication, isolation, temporary rejection for bad behavior, lots of things. The problem for me was that the cats he picked on were all "very difficult to place" kind of cats, so finding homes any one of them would have been miraculous. And I had a very close bond with Dodger as he did with me. Also, I'd seen far too many bad and indifferent homes for cats to consider trying to re-home him. So, we all lived with it and it was often miserable.

Now I have another one, but she's a perpetual motion kind of cat that pounces because she wants to rough-house with any cat she sees. She needs to be with other cats and the two males she lives with have learned to deal with her. Taranis, on the other hand, hates her and I do have peeing in wrong places problems with her.

I look at carers of many cats such as Gina and Gary and shake my head in wonder. How do they manage to have such relatively calm households?

Good luck with your search for a new and good home for Monte and Gus.

K- Tex went to the bridge a year ago this May. And, while Monte was a bit of a terror even then, several things stand out. Tex, and only Tex, was the alpha cat- even as sick as he was at the end. :( Tex kept Monte in his place, and Geo under his paw. Tex and Geo were truly best friends. So,when Tex made the trip two things happened. Monte became a self proclaimed 'king', AND, Geo lost her protector. Monte was very young a year ago, he was relatively knew to my household (6 months), and was just a year old. Monte has matured. :(

I have scolded the heck out of Monte, and have pinned him to the floor twice, scaring him, when I caught him going at Georgie. Monte will exit my room when I snap my fingers at him- he knows he shouldn't be in there, and is apprehensive (but, not fearful) of my presence when he is in there. He will scoot away from me ONLY when I come into contact with him in this room. So, I know he 'knows' on some level what is going on.

One night, I tried to lock Monte in the basement. Yeah, right. If Monte wasn't howling up a storm to get upstairs, then, Gus was beating down the door to get downstairs with Monte. So, I put them BOTH down there. They both fought to get UPstairs! This was all at 230am. You know how hard it is to scream silently at cats to stop it,when Jonah is sleeping ten feet away from the ruckus? :rolleyes: I was sweating profusely, as awake as could be, and fuming mad. At that moment, I wanted NO cats in my house.

I have thought of the big cage idea. I could set it up in my bedroom, or the living room, I suppose, and confine Monte when he 'acts' up. Does anyone have any personal experience with this? Would it really work?

The peeing on the couch is so distressing to me. It was new, and, it now stinks. But, what can I do? I know it isn't their preference to pee there...

I want to wish you good luck in whatever you do

I think I totally understand the type of cat Monte is. None of my personal cats do this, but my beloved foster cat Pumpkin was just like that. He was a bully! And he ENJOYED being a bully!

I tried medication for him, and the vet is right, it did not stop the stalking.

Choosing to rehome Monte (or Monte and Gus) might make everyone involved happy. Georgia will have relief, you will have peace and Monte can live somewhere that his personality shines!! (and doesn't get him into trouble). I will be hard, very hard, and I wish I could offer a better solution. :(

I am so sorry. I can't even fathom the pain of giving up one of your own. :(

Johanna, I am so sorry you are going through this. :( Wish you the best. I know you will make the best decision possible. {{{hugs}}}

Thinking about this more, and remembering what it was like in my household, I wanted to add a few more thoughts. My experience is the same as Jen's, the medication made Dodger drowsy but didn't stop the stalking and pouncing. It was what he lived for, he couldn't resist no matter how much he knew I hate it. And, as I said, we were intensely closely bonded. I cried rivers over medicating him so that he became sluggish, pushing him away when he misbehaved, isolating him for hours or weeks, making him an outdoor/indoor cat, nothing ever worked.

Does he stalk and pounce when the cats try to use the litter boxes? That's what Dodger did and it led to all kinds of problems. Most of the cats would just dash in and out, knowing he was waiting to jump on them the moment they left their box. Two of them ended up living in a closet in the hall, the closest they could get to the litter room without living in it. When I tried to ease them into the living room, providing them with hiding places, one of them peed and pooped under covered tables. Your cat may use the couch not just to object to her current living conditions but also because she considers it her only "safe" litter area.

I don't think you can re-train a cat not to stalk and pounce. You can train cats that they can't do certain things in certain places, such as not jumping on counters or they are not welcome in a certain room, that's territory and makes sense to them. I don't think stopping a behavior towards other cats does make sense to them.

Remember when Tiberus, the Bengal cat was stalking and biting Miley? He was re-homed and it has worked out perfectly. I had contacted a cat behaviorist, and made an appointment, but rehomed Ti Ti before the appointment. I could have waited I suppose, but once I thought I found the right home, I went with it.

I really think Miley is my/the problem in my house, because now Juni is picking on Miley....the weak one and that Ti Ti and Juni have/had tuned in on her fear and went for her....its natural for cats to do that.....

I would rehome the aggressive one.....and if his buddy would be happy going with him, all the better.

Cats can adjust. Ti Ti is sooooo happy where he is. He has a little Bengal brother and two dogs..... and Ti Ti is still king, just no one there to "pick on"....cause no one takes any crap from him.

I was going to give Miley a gun to carry around while Ti lived with us, but she refused to use it.

Rehoming, if done carefully, works out for everyone eventually.

Sorry to hear you have such confusion in your household.

:eek:

Thanks everyone. :(

I just cannot come to grips with rehoming Monte (or Monte and Gus) as I love them so much. I love Georgia, and, she is my link to Tex, too. I think I might look into a behaviorist, though, I do agree with Lizzie...I am not sure you can change Monte. And, like Lizzie, I feel like Monte KNOWS how much I hate what he does, but, he still does it. :(

I will keep you updated.

Jo, I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all this. The only thing I can add is that I believe Monte will calm down as he ages, but I know that's not much help. I remember when Tubby was young and I first brought Peanut home. He wasn't necessarily stalking her, but I was constantly yelling at him to leave her alone. Every single time they got in a scrap, I yelled at Tubby. He was bigger, older and more aggressive, so he took the heat. Until.....one day I saw Peanut teasing and toying with him, then go after him! After that Tubby still took most of the heat, but every now and then I'd yell at Peanut - or both of them. :rolleyes: ;) After many years, as they both got older, things calmed down considerably.

I know this isn't any consolation and doesn't help you now, but I thought it might give you just a ray of hope.

Johana, I'm so sorry you're having to go thru this right now. :( I wish I had some advice, but it sounds like you've done everything I would do.

Jo - I can only imagine the heartache that this is causing you.
I trust your judgement completely - you know your cats like noone else does.
You know what is right for them and for your home and family.
You might consider contacting the pet psychic that I used. Kimmy used her also.
Email me if you want her email address.
For the couch -
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Hmmmm,

Evil Black cat syndrome.... Lol I think I have your Monty's twin, my Buddy is a terror with the girls and a couple of the boys.

If I were you I would get my hands on the largest enclosed dog crate you can find... put a bed, a litter box food and water in there and place it right next to the feliway outlet, when he starts playing up put him in time out for an hour or so.

Also a spray bottle is very useful or a can of pennys, when he start stalking spray him with water or shake the can and tell him no..... try to distract him with a toy, I have found da bird is wonderful for that, at night I would also try him in the crate, although I will guess he will howl the place down... buddy did.

We have reach a point now where the fights are at least few and far between although we have odd days were I could happily rehome them all.

All 20 of the cats seem to co-habit fairly well these days and for a cat, at 2+ Monty is at that terrible teen stage.

It make take a while but eventually he will put 2 and 2 together and calm down.

I hope you can find something that will work because I can imagine the heartache of giving up Monte, it would like losing a piece of your heart.

It might have been better in my household if Dodger had got into fights, it might have helped wear off his aggression in some way - the reason I put him outside at times was that I thought it might wear it down his aggresiveness and boundless energy. Unfortunately, there were no real fights in my household, Dodger simply terrorized them all, male and female, all ages, all different temperaments and most larger and heavier than he was. I think it would have been better if at least one of them fought back.

Hmmm....distracting him with a toy...a positive distraction instead of tension and upset....I wonder if that would work?

I know you tried a psychic, I think you said? Shais mom swears by the one she used.

Good luck - what a dilemma! Prayers to you!

hugs
Catty1

I'm so sorry you are having to consider these options, Johanna ... but I support you fully in whatever you decide!

HUGS,
Kim

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Catty1

Hmmm....distracting him with a toy...a positive distraction instead of tension and upset....I wonder if that would work?

I know you tried a psychic, I think you said? Shais mom swears by the one she used.

Good luck - what a dilemma! Prayers to you!

hugs
Catty1

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Actually Jo has emailed me and I sent her the info. She was considering a behaivorist I think but hadn't tried either yet. :)

I don't know if this will help but...when I brought MC home from my brothers, Mau couldn't stand him, she'd growl everytime he was near and he'd hide behind things and charge her, she'd hiss and run. As a result MC would spray usually whereever she had been although sometimes he picked random spots. Mau can be aggressive so I knew I'd never find her a home and MC had been in my family since he was a kitten (he was I think 10 at the time) so I didn't have the heart to rehome him. Anyway it took a lot of patience and over a year but he's stopped spraying and they can be in the same room without trying to kill eachother. I did a few things all at once. The vet perscribed some valium which I gave for about 2 weeks (can't remember I followed what the vet listed), at the same time I purchased feliway, both a plug in for "his room" and a spray which I'd spray on a bandana I tied around his neck so he was mellow from the drug and mellow from the feliway for about 2 weeks. In addition, I'd seperate him from "the girls" He was locked in the front living room and I attempted to keep them completely seperated even when I weaned him off the drugs. Slowly for short periods I started to let them in the same room when I could keep and eye on them (I've used both a squirt bottle and thrown a toy mouse in front of him if I caught him trying to charge. (the feliway bandana still on). We went about a month with only a couple of charging episodes and no spraying the first time. When he started spraying again I gave him the drug, but this time for only a couple of days. Each time we went longer and longer until now I no longer have to give hime the drugs or use the feliway. He hasn't sprayed in about a year and the charging very rarely occures. It wasn't totaly pleasant initially (he was always sleepy kind of glazed), but I now have 3 cats that can live together without problems. Mau and MC will never be best friends, but they've learned to live together.

pnance- VERY interesting, and I will investigate this path, as well as the pet psychic Staci has emailed me about. The cage issue is still a possibility, too.

Many thanks, everyone!

Jo, I was thinking about this and I know you said you tried closing him in the basement but his howling put an end to that. Maybe....on a weekend....try it again with both Monte and Gus in the basement, but don't give in to the howling. Then the next night, do the same thing. They will both eventually figure out that the basement is where it's at for the night and they will calm down - hopefully sooner rather than later. Maybe put them both in the basement then take Jonah and go visit your mom for the night. ;)

A quick story as an example, we were having the basement painted so I wanted to lock P & CJ up, but we don't like putting them both in the same bedroom all day because CJ is just a bit too rambunctious for Peanut. So we put CJ in the master bed/bathroom and Peanut got the "guest suite" area. We put a screen door over the hallway door and blocked it so she couldn't get out. At first she struggled against the door wanting out. On the 3rd day I went looking for her to put her in there, couldn't find her anywhere, figured she had figured out what was going on and was in hiding so she didn't have to be "locked up" again. Ended up finding her sleeping on the bed in the guest bedroom! She had figured out that she was going to be locked in whether she liked it or not, so she went to the most comfy spot before I could even lock her in! After the painting was done, after a few mornings she realized the door wasn't going up again and she could go back to her old daytime sleep spot.

I'm sure Monte is not stupid - matter of fact he's probably too smart for his own good like another blackie I once knew ;) - so I think he'll figure it all out quite quickly and calm down and may actually grow to like the basement! A few nights of torture for you might mean long term peace and quiet for you and the rest of your gang. :)

Johanna,

I can post Monte on Petfinder.com if you'd like asking for a home with no other cats. If you send me a biography of Monte and his GOOD points, I'll put it on this afternoon. I'll have to have your email address as well as phone number. Because it's free, I won't be able to post a picture. But it will be listed in YOUR area in case anyone is looking.

Let me know. ;)

Hi Donna,
Thanks for the offering, I do appreciate it! However, I am pretty positive I could never adopt Monte out that way. It would have to be through a personal contact, and even still, I am hoping things work out otherwise. Even posting the thought of rehoming him makes me cringe. Something has to break....I just have to be patient.

Thanks again,
Johanna

That's what friends are for! ;) Hopefully everything will turn out okay. I'm praying for you and Monte.

Johanna, I know how hard it can be to rehome a cat because as some of may remember I had to do this with Cirrus. Luckily I had the help of his former rescue group and now he's been adopted and is in a very loving home. I hope that you'll be able to train Monte and/or keep him from being such a bully so that you won't have to rehome him. Good luck and please keep us updated.

Hi - I just PM'd Johanna(didn't recall her name at the time). Seems to me someone posted on PT, or I heard, about a vet who boarded cats. To keep them from fighting in the power game, he dabbed a bit of aftershave or something on each forehead, so they all smelled the same, had the same 'scent'.

Since Johanna's problem started after her one kitty died - maybe it's like introducing new cats all over again, because the power balance shifts.

What do you guys think? Might be worth a try.

Catty1

hey Jo how are things going?