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Finally I found a razor. I slipped it off of the plastic handle and looked at it. This was like a diamond to a rich girl. I put the toilet cover down and sat down. My hands were shaking with excitement. I hadn’t done it for so long, would I still feel the way I used to? I looked down for Izzy. She was still playing with the rug.
I picked up the razor again and looked at it. I placed my wrist on the cool porcelain of the sink. My hands started to sweat and the razor fell out of my hand. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and picked it up again. A little voice in my head assured me I could do this.
I regripped the small razor in my hand. I placed it on my wrist carefully. Then Izzy barked. My heart started pounding. Had she heard Graham coming or something?
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Good izzy!!!don't let her do it! good doggie!:D
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Gosh, I was wondering where you guys went.... I was so alone! Here's more:
I took a glance over at her. She was just looking at me; like she was telling me whatever I was doing was bad. I closed my eyes.
“Izzy please. I can’t play right now.” I said. I turned back to my wrists. I pressed the razor harder on my skin. Izzy barked again, and I jumped, gashing my arm harder and deeper than I had expected.
“Izzy! Damnit!” I yelled, and then covered my mouth.
“Kersey? Everything okay?” Graham asked from outside the door.
“Yes, she just… uh… nipped at my toes. It’s okay.” I said, rushing around the bathroom, grabbing some toilet paper to cover my cut. Izzy walked over to the bathroom door and sat down. She wouldn’t even look at me.
I started to pace around the bathroom. I was thinking about what Graham would say when he found out. I started feeling lightheaded. I smiled. Just the effect I was waiting for.
I put my hand on the sink but it slipped out from underneath me. I fell, grabbing the shower curtain on my way down. Izzy jumped, and started to bark. I remember falling into the bathtub, but I think I hit my head.
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poor izzy:( :( :( go help her graham!!!!! bad kersey!!!!!:D more pleeez
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I woke up in the bedroom underneath the covers. I opened my eyes and took the towel off my head. I had a massive headache. I closed my eyes again and when I opened them, Graham was sitting on the end of the bed. I pulled my hand out from under the covers and looked at my wrist. It was wrapped in an ace bandage.
Graham was just sitting on the end of the bed, staring off into space. I slipped my hand back under the covers. Graham heard to sheets rustle. He looked at me, but didn’t say anything. He just shook his head and got up. He went over to the window and put his hands on the ledge.
“What happened?” I asked. I was pretty sure I knew what happened. I was dizzy enough that I fell and must have knocked myself out.
“What happened?? Kersey, you cut yourself. And it wasn’t an accident. You cut yourself, blood was everywhere, even the blood from your head. You fell into the bathtub. That’s how you cut your head. You promised me you wouldn’t do this again Kersey.” He said. Now it was my turn to be silent. I said nothing. I touched my head. I hadn’t even realized I had cut my head.
“I’m sorry.” I said without even realizing it. “It’s a bad habit you can’t break. You know, you went through it too, Graham. Bear with me. I’m trying.” I said, tears welling up in the back of my eyes.
“I know Kersey. I’m sorry, but you can’t do shit like that anymore. You scared me to death. I heard you fall and when I saw you covered in blood in the bathroom, that’s not something you see and pass over. I was worried.” He yelled.
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hmmm...maybe sh eshould go back to the center and see Dr. Shannon:D
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I wonder what is going to happen next.. more please!
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Bad Kersey!!!! Moremore Megan!:D Please?;)
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He grabbed his car keys off the dresser beside me.
“I just need to… to think.” He said, and left.
“Graham, what?!” I cried out. My head shot with pain and I quickly layed back down. He was leaving me. He really was. I started to cry. The tears burned my cheeks, and my head pounded. What would I do without him?
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I was wondering if he was gonna do that!!!! COME BACK GRAHAM!!!!!!!!!!!
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i would leave if i were graham too. but he has to take care of her!
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I must have cried myself to sleep, because Izzy woke me up needing to go outside. I tossed the blanket aside, trying to recall what had happened. I sat there for a minute on the edge of the bed trying to think. All I could remember was that Graham was gone. I rubbed my red puffy eyes and continued to the door to let Izzy out.
Izzy and I walked to the kitchen together. I made myself a cup of coffee and proceeded to the door.
Izzy ran out and I sat on the steps. I thought about what would happen if Graham came back. I guess you could call this our first official fight. I knew what needed to happen.
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Sheez!!! PLEASE tell us. What needs to happen?:)
moremoremoremoremoremoremoremore:D :rolleyes:
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Izzy ran out and I sat on the steps. I thought about what would happen if Graham came back. I guess you could call this our first official fight. I knew what needed to happen.
I took the wrapping off my wrist. It was swollen and purple, just like every other cut. I carefully massaged it, trying to make it less purple. I had to stop myself from doing this. If it was tearing Graham and I apart, I needed to stop.
“Come on Izzy, let’s go.” I called out to the darkness. Nothing.
“Izzy, I’m not doing this, let’s go in.” I said. Still nothing. I stepped off the porch onto the cool dewey grass. I called her name again, still nothing. I walked around the yard, barefoot, searching for Izzy. I searched all around the house but found nothing. I started to cry again, realizing I had just lost the two things that actually mattered to me in life. Graham and Izzy.
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Come on! Don't leave us hanging like this, for gods sake! We need more, I have no more nails to chew off. Grovers nails are starting to look good to me!!!;)
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I ran back into the house in tears. But then I stopped. I needed to get back under control. I took a deep breath and went over my options. I could call Graham’s parents and see if he was there, I could call my parents, but what would they do? I sat on the couch and put my head in my hands. I had been too involved in my own problems to worry about my own dog.
I went into the kitchen to get another cup of coffee. I sat at the kitchen table and started tapping my fingers on the table. Then I heard a weird noise. It scared me so I got up slowly. I tiptoed out of the kitchen and into the hallway. The noise was coming from my bedroom and it sounded Iike someone trying to get in the house. I was afraid; my hands were shaking and I was sweating. I peered into my room and gasped.
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:eek: :eek: :eek: why????????????????????????????????you always stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! whyyyyyyyyyyyyy??????:eek: :eek: :eek:
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why arent you writing? now i'm sad:(
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OH MORE!! Im back for the story it took so long to read but now Im back for sure:D Keep Going:D
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Since everything got erased when they fixed my computer, I'll have to sneak on to my mom's computer and email the story back over here. More coming soon, I promise!
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i'd been wondering why you weren't writing;) hurry up!
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What was wrong with your computer??? Well hurry up and get to writing some more. We a impatient bunch here!!;)
Willie
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Voila!! Have you been waiting??
I went into the kitchen to get another cup of coffee. I sat at the kitchen table and
started tapping my fingers on the table. Then I heard a weird noise. It scared me so I
got up slowly. I tiptoed out of the kitchen and into the hallway. The noise was coming
from my bedroom and it sounded Iike someone trying to get in the house. I was
afraid; my hands were shaking and I was sweating. I peered into my room and
gasped.
There she was; perfectly fine, happy and cheerful, pulling on a sock that was
sticking out of my closet. It was stuck in a way that when she pulled on it, it pulled the
door forward, making a banging noise. She must have snuck in when I was going
over all my problems.
I just shook my head and sat on the bed. I was feeling lightheaded from both
cuts.
“You scared me to death, Iz. You little brat!” I joked with her. She stopped
chewing, looked up at me and cocked her head. You just had to laugh at her.
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Bad izzy for scaring kersey! bad kersey for not finding Graham!
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“You scared me to death, Iz. You little brat!” I joked with her. She stopped chewing,
looked up at me and cocked her head. You just had to laugh at her.
I pulled her up on the bed with me and turned out the light. She crawled under
the blanket with me and we went to sleep.
I woke up the next morning and found a note on the bedside table. It was from
Graham. I opened it and read it outloud.
“I came home earlier and you were sleeping. I had to think a lot of things over.
I thought about you and I, and how we used to be.” I stopped reading. Used to be?
This wasn’t sounding good. I read on.
“I remember when we first met, when you ignored me at first. Then we got
together, and we were what everyone talked about for weeks. All this stuff was
running through my mind as I drove. I thought about the day I proposed to you, the
day you came home from the hospital.” I turned the page over.
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Hey, I'm old and getting older by the minute. WRITE MORE!!!
Willie;)
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“I love you and always will. I guess I’ve just been overwhelmed by the incidents we’ve
had with cutting. I’ve stopped and you need to too. I don’t want you hurt more than
you are. Please. I’m staying at my parents for a while. Please call me soon. Love,
Graham.”
I put the note down. He had read my mind. I was stopping. I had stopped
cutting yesterday the moment I fell.
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AH! I thought this story ended! :( Im missing so much! I dont remember where i end up! :( ;)
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so she stopped cutting? good! no more dr. shannon then:) :(
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Is anyone up for another update? Everyone elses stories are better than mine! LOL... I'm yesterday's trash... I'll update if I haven't lost too many fans....
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We're here waiting.......I love your story. Please continue.:)
