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you could PM her.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cinder & Smoke
You DO realize this is one of the hardest things she has had to do in her life right?
She's pouring her heart out here - she is trying to get the support from her PET TALK family that she is sorely lacking at home :(
that said Phred - go drink a nice cup of tea and pat yourself on the back for a job well done with the WOODY ESCAPADE - you do deserve it...
Kelly,
I hope all this drama ends soon. I know you won't miss it. I finally made Brody's moms and my payment today. I can't wait till he's with you!
*Basically, I got 4 missed calls from him during the day. I got 3 voicemails (that I just later deleted without listening to) from him. I get in the car after the spa sessions (soooooo wonderful, btw, JUST what the Doc ordered! :) ) and call Kevin. I can tell from how he says, "hello" (that, and his multiple calls) that he's back in his "camping mood" - just what I DONT need. :rolleyes:
Long story short (I promise this time), he tells me that he thinks I should TELL my mom that I'm leaving. When I ask 'why??' in my "are you CRAZY??' voice, he says, "Because, they gave you a place to live!" as if I'm some ungrateful child!
I'm sorry, but WHO THE HELL is HE to say that to me??? A flood, no, a million TIDAL WAVES came rushing through my brain of feelings and memories as if they'd been waiting for the action or words from Kevin that would just be IT. Done. Here they come and there's no backing up those waves! At once, I remembered everything I went through because of the *hit KEVIN pulled growing up - not normal brother stuff - we're talking I had ZERO social life because Kevin was the bad boy who needed constant supervision and thus had to have someone at home for him in case of ANYTHING, so guess who HAD to be stuck at HOME every summer from 5th grade to 12th grade? I lost so many friends - what teenage wants to stay at someone's house all the time??? All the stuff he pulled, landed BOTH of us on our "dad hates us" list. I've covered for him for years and years. When he'd get in trouble while I was home and he was out doing whatever he wanted, I'd get in trouble as I was supposed to "guess" when he was being bad....ect.etc.etc. :rolleyes: :confused: :mad: :rolleyes: That is just ONE example of all the crap they pulled on me! I've "gotten over it" in that I accept it as poor education on my mom's part and that one day, Kevin will thank me for all I've done for him. Guess I hafta figure out how to get over it again, huh??
I guess I've resented them both for ruining my childhood, but Kevin was a mixed up kid. Now that he's older, he just, well is becoming a loser. I was shocked that he didn't see my side - I've always been there for HIM and took his side because he was my brother. Now, when I'm FINALLY able to get out on my own - a feat that has been impossible with my body causing my life to crash down around my ears - he acts as though our wonderful, perfect mother is the victim in all this! That I, the only one that's had his back since Day 1, am the ungrateful one. :confused: :confused:
Why? Is it because I'm finally, for the first time, thinking of myself for a change? If thats ungrateful....that good, I'll be it. If it means being free and clear of the not only TOXIC, but truly mean people, then you can call me whatever you want!
I'm sad that I have to loose him too. He's said he'll help me with whatever I need help with...and promises not to tell my mom. But, we'll see.
I'm just so ready for it to be 2/2. I'll be HOME, finally and with my kitties - all four - and with a new roomie! Then on 2/3, we'll wake up together - one meowmie, one ball of kitty in OUR bed, finally.
And I'll have gotten through it...because my PT Family is fabulous and wonderful and the family God found for me. :)
Thank you all so very much!!!
Love you ALL,
Kelly, Noah, Basie, Phoebe & My Micah
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Hey guys,
I have a call into Balcom to check on the balance...now that I'm thinking, I made a call to them on Saturday inquiring about the same thing that they haven't returned. Hmm....I think I'll call back again. Pestering usually works!
I'll let you know what I find out as soon as I know it.
Hugs,
Kelly and our Spa Resident (not for long, buddy, better soak up all that Spa-ness while you can, you're coming HOME baby kitten!!! :D :D :D ), Noah-kins
Kelly - stop worrying about your brother, your parents, your grandma and start concentrating on you!!!!
No wonder you get so sick. That is such a toxic family that you should do what your brother did and get out and cut off all communications. I wouldn't trust him to keep quiet about you moving out either much less showing up on moving day. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and hope this all comes off without a hitch and you get some peace in your life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brody's Mum
You both are 100% correct. I KNEW I'd start "feeling bad" getting close to move date, and I knew I'd need you all to remind me WHY I'm getting the H*LL out of there.Quote:
Originally Posted by Laura's Babies
Thank you!! :)
P.S. I called Balcom this morning and left a message to please leave the balance on my voicemail if I'm unable to pick up my phone when they call. So at least I can give you a balance update on Noah James. YAY! I also told them I'm coming to pick him on/around 2/2 and needed to see if that is an "OK" day for pickup. (They have certain days you can drop off and pick up. I think Saturday is OK for pickup, but don't want any surprises! ;)
Kelly,
I am so proud of you, honey. You've come so very far. I think being away from such toxicity is going to be just what the doctor ordered.
You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
Huge (((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))) )))))))))))
DONNA
Its only natural - when you leave somewhere or someone you tend to only remember the goods bits but if you ever doubt you are doing the right thing picture yourself still living there this time next year reading back on this thread...........Quote:
I KNEW I'd start "feeling bad" getting close to move date, and I knew I'd need you all to remind me WHY I'm getting the H*LL out of there.
You are so right, thank you!! (((Hugs)))
************************************************** **
Noah Uppydate:
OK, a HUGE, HUGE, HUGE THANK YOU to all my PT Family who helped get Noah's balance to a manageable size...and to all those that are constantly here for me and my kitties...Thank you all so very much!!! For everything!!
Noah's balance when I pick him up will be $260.00 on Saturday 2/2 between 2:00 and 4:00 pm! You guys are so amazing....I mean, there truly was no other place for my Noah. For those that had the uh, pleasure (??) of meeting Mr. Noah Nawtee Cat, know that there is no way I could have inflicted him on anyone. Of course he picks NOW to finally come around. Silly boy! But that'll work in our favor with Kristin and he needs to be nice to her, especially! So, I guess it all worked out, right??
I cannot, will not be able to convey how much I love you guys, how much you've done for me and my kitties. The support alone, that you knew I was doing the right thing - when everyone else (nearly) in my life thought I was CRAZY! to keep my kitties, no matter what it took. I KNEW I'd be at this point...and I'm almost there. :) :D :)
OK, I probably should get something done at work.
Hugs, Love & Gratitude FOREVER,
Kelly & Noah
Kelly the reason you are feeling bad nearer your shift, is because you are such a loving person, that even after everything your family has put you through ,you still have compassion,something they seem truely lacking in.
I am so excited for you,please try and find that inner peace and harmony within yourself, and DONOT by any means feel even the smallest amount of guilt about leaving, you are not being ungrateful,you know they are the ones missing out in life,they should consider themselves honoured to have such a wonderful daughter,why on earth they cannot see it is beyond me.
You take much care now, and relax sweetie, times ahead are going to be good.
http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/i...GREATDAY-1.gif
You can do it Kelly! Keep focused on YOU! You and your kitties are what matter.
*HUGS*
That's what "family" is for ;)Quote:
Thank you all so very much!!! For everything!!
Kelly, please remember that you are not alone in this situation. We are hear to listen and provide support for both you and Noah.
I would also like to tell you that you are not the only person who has been in this situation. When I was arranging to immigrate countries, I was living 500 miles from my parents but I did not tell anyone in my family that I was planning on immigrating until about 1 month before I left. By then I had all the paperwork in order and the movers booked, so they could say anything they wanted but it was too late to do anything about it. I realize you situation is different because you still live at home, but sometimes you have to do these things for your own peace and happiness (and sanity).
My Family...
I'm experiencing a TON of warriness. I'm so scared to tell my parents. I know that they'll be so upset no matter what I say or do. Even though they've done a bunch of not nice things, I know that from deep down, THEY feel its from wanting the best for me. I know that in my heart. The problem is, I DO care. I wish I could just turn it off. I don't ever want to hurt anyone, regardless of if they hurt me first.
Will you all please pray extra hard for me? That I know what to say and when to say it? If I'm led to "say" anything at all...or if God wants me to leave them a letter and go quiety. Whatever He wants me to do, whatever is RIGHT, I want to do it. I'll live through the harsh, meanness I'm most certainly going to recieve. I just want to do what will inflict the least amount of damage.
You are all so wonderful. Thank you all, for just being there for me. Having you here is just, priceless...(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
Love, Kelly
P.S. Update: due to the bad rains, storms, flooding here, my parents cancelled their day trip for tomorrow. :( Darn it! But, Kevin and Krista are going to help me get/move the stuff out of storage and into the apt on Sunday. :)
Kelly - I try asking God to provide the words, and just work through my hand/pen (or mouth - I should ask THAT one more often! :) )
You may want to write to them AFTER you move, also. Give that some thought.
HUGS
Just because you are pro-Kelly does not mean you are anti-anyone-else - know what I mean?
Being on your own side and acting that way is not a hurtful act. Others may react with hurt, or etc. But that is not your fault or concern - that is theirs to deal with.
You can care about your family - you just can't take care OF them.
Your turn, sweetie!
Kelly, Of course I'll pray extra hard for you.:) I would think that your parents would be happy and glad to hear that you've found a wonderful new place to live and also that you'll have a great roommate as well. Don't they want you to be happy? They also know that you love your furkids and that now you'll be able to live with them again. If you feel uncomfortable in telling them this news in person then I'd write them a letter. I just hope that everything will work out for you. You deserve to be happy. Please take care. (((HUGS)))
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoahsMommy
Kelly, I really understand how your health and maintaining it is the most important thing. Only you can decide what is the best course of action to keep your health on an even keel. If that wasn't part of the mix (which of course it is), I would ask you to consider the following.
Much of the issue with your parents seems to be that they treat you as a child. That is their problem. In order to try to change that, at least from what you have the ability to control, what you can do is try to handle situations in an adult manner. Ask yourself what is the most adult way to handle this.
The other thing to consider would be, if you were the parent how would you want your child to handle such a move? (Kind of like do unto others how you would like them to do unto you).
That is my input. This is only one of many difficult decisions that life will throw your way. Sometimes even if the outcome isn't what your want or envision, one can feel good that we tried to handle something in the appropriate manner. I personally respect whatever decision you come to because I see how hard you are trying to sort out a course of action.
Kelly, I have to agree with Rachel.....
If you want to be treated as an adult, then act like one.
IMO - do not leave a note. You need to sit them down and explain to them that this is your time to leave. Thank them for all their help and love, but it now time for you to move on into your own place.
Done, simple and to the point. It doesn't matter if they like your decision or not, but at least you confronted them. Keep confronting them, they will learn that you ARE an adult, and if you act & treat them as one, then in turn they will learn to treat you as an equal. But if you run and leave a note, in their mind that is the childish thing to do and will continue to treat you as their child.
Like I said, this is MY opinion, and this is how I would handle this situation.....which BTW, I too have been in your shoes, so I do know what you are going through.
Stand your ground, and be polite about it. Good Luck!!!!!!
Bunny
Lots of prayers for you Kelly.
Either way, whether you leave a note or tell them in person, they are likely to be upset, right?
Are you afraid that if you tell them in person, they'll stop you from leaving? Are they capable of that?
I hate confrontations as well but I'm just curious for the need of secrecy. I don't mean to be nosy. :o
*HUGS*
You've made some VERY good points. If I want them to view and treat me like an adult, I need to act like one. Just writing a note is not going to be adult-like, even if it'll get me out of an initial confrontation. That confrontation needs to happen, regardless of the result.
I'm going to sit down with them both this Friday after work. That way, if they make me leave right away, I'll still have a place to go to. I can go to my new apartment and take a kitty or two on my way...or go alone and get them on Saturday as planned.
I'm going to praying constantly until then that God provides the words. I CANNOT do this alone.
Love, Kelly :)
P.S. I'm meeting my brother at the storage place at 1:00 pm, then we'll get to the new apartment and Kristin at 3:00 p.m. to move some things in. Yay!! :)
All the best Kelly, you can do it, it will be hard i know, but you will find the inner strength to say the right thing i'm sure,hoping it all goes better than you expect, take care and HUGS. :)
Good luck Kelly!!! :D
I just read the whole thread, and I am saddened that you had such a hard time at home. Hope all goes well for you!!! I will be waiting for updates. :)
My whole church has you in our prayers, Kelly! ;) And our pastor has four cats, so I'm sure they're included.
I'm a little nervous for you telling them in person. I hope it all goes well. If you do have to leave right away, take all your kitties with you, ok? We'll all be glad when this is over and you start your new and happy life. You've been down a long road and now it's time for a different journey. Hopefully one that brings you peace and happiness.
Kelly, I will be praying for you too. I am very proud of your thoughtful consideration of how best to handle this. {{{hugs}}}Quote:
Originally Posted by NoahsMommy
My Sweet Friends/Family,
Well, today did NOT go as planned, but it worked out for the best, actually. Kristin did not call me back so I knew what time to come and bring some of my things (ie: my bed from the storage unit my brother and I are sharing). She finally called me at 3:00 p.m., the time I asked if we could BE THERE at. Oh well...I guess she left her cell phone somewhere and didn't have access to it. She said she didn't realize it until she saw the time and knew I'd be coming in the afternoon. Oh well.
We're meeting Tuesday at 5:30 p.m. at the apartment so she can give me a key. Then it wont matter if she's there or not.
My brother was actually a good sport about everything. So that's nice. He was right, you all were right, I need to tell my parents. I wouldn't be proud of myself if I didn't. So, now I have a week of nerves on edge until I talk to them on Friday. I'm going to be praying HARD for God to help me with this, there is NO WAY I'd be able to do it alone. So your prayers (Thank you to your church, Karen! That's so kind/sweet of you!) are VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!!! :D
I'm thinking that if Friday doesn't go very well, I'll pick up my Micah from CiCi's house on the way to my new place. That is 2/1/08, so its OK for me to move in then. Then Micah and I will have a campout! YAY! :)
I'll keep you all updated. ALL the prayers you can offer will certainly help. I just need calm and clarity...and prayers they will recieve me.
Hugs, Kelly and kits
XOXOXOXOXOX
Good thoughts coming your way and prayers already said for you to find the right words and thing be peaceful for you.
Update:
This evening I met Kristin at the apartment - our apartment, YAY! - to pickup MY KEY!!! YAY!!! Its nearly official!!!!! :D
I got my address change request from the post office at lunch on Monday and got my new address from Kristin this evening. I'll fill this out and drop it off at my local post office tomorrow. I've already changed my address for my spousal support check, but haven't gotten a confirmation...I changed that one to CiCi's address. Maybe I'll just call them tomorrow and give them my new address so its done for good. "Note to self..." ;)
I got a surprise when I got to the apartment. Her name is "Darling"! I guess Kristin's friend got a bunny wabbit and either couldn't keep it in her current living situation, or something like that. Either way, it looks like we may have a BUNNY!!! I'm sooooo excited as I miss Faith and Thomas sooo much! Darling is just a tiny thing, well, more "little" than tiny. She's VERY sweet and is learning to come to you when you call her - while she out romping. Normally she's in her Bunny Condo when Kristin isn't there. Luckily Noah and Basie where raised with bunnies, huh? (Darling's condo is kept in Kristin's room, btw.)
Here are 2 pictures of what Darling looks like:
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/102/2...807795.jpg?v=0
http://www.rabbit.org/graphics/fun/n...de1-smigo1.jpg
Plans are: Kevin and I are going to try and move in my stuff from the storage one day this week (after work)...and then continue Saturday or Sunday. Now that I have my key, it shouldn't be a problem.
I'll keep you all updated.
Pls continue with your wonderful prayers that I have the right words, that God calms my mom and opens her heart and ears to what I have to say...and that it all gets overwith soon! My tummy has been hurting way too much over this!
Hugs, Kelly :)
awww Darling sure fits her name! :D
fingers crossed for a smooth transition!
You are in our prayers - and if there's a bunny involved, well, that's even better! Give her a raisin from me, okay?
Kelly, I hope that everything goes smoothly and I'll continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Darling sure is a cutie pie. I'm so glad to hear that your new roommate is an animal lover.:)
You go girl, all the best dear kelly, gosh darling is gorgeous isn't she? i will be thinking of you and hoping everything goes nice and smoothly. HUGS :)
This time next week you will be in your new home!!!
Cute little bunny :D
I'm so excited for you.
Keep your eye on the prize and remember that you have every right to claim your life and ability to function as an independent adult. You are not making this move to hurt anyone. You are making it as a necessary step to being responsible and self-supporting. You are trying to make good choices for yourself. You obviously appreciate the help, love and assistance of everyone who has been there for you in the past and you will also appreciate their emotional support too as you continue on your journey. Give yourself a little pep talk, girl. One way to find the right things to say is to be confident in your right to do this.
I just was thinking that maybe you could write out what you want to say and then read it to your mom. That way you could edit, rewrite, etc. until you get it just the way you feel comfortable with it.
I keep hoping and praying that all goes well for you!! Wish I lived closer because I'd help you move in a heartbeat. I really hope this goes smoothly for you and your mom doesn't give you too much of a hassle. I so know what moms can be like when they are defensive.
Two more days till Feb. 1st!!!!! I'm so excited for you!
Kelly, it sounds like things are going good for you. That's awesome!! I just know that your talk with your mom will be difficult for you, but it is something that needs to be done. After it's all said and done, you will feel better about it. I hope that your mom understands and doesn't get angry.
I am so excited for you!! :D :D I can't wait to see pictures of you and your kitties all together again. :)
I think it would be a good idea to write down what you're going to say, too. I hope it goes well for you. And Darling is just, well darling! What an adorable bun bun. Also, I had a more than decent tax return so later today, I'm going to share the joy and pay some more on Noah's bill. We all will be so happy to see you with all your kitties on your own bed :)
Congrats! Darling is well... darling! :D