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Johanna brings up an interesting point with "your parents having control over your finances" ...
Do your parents hold a Power of Attorney that names them as your overseer or
gives them financial control over your accounts?
Do you voluntarily put your paychecks, alimony, and other income into a
"joint account" that your Mother has access to?
I'd take steps to nullify any of these agreements if they exist.
/s/ Phred
Kelly,
You've got my reference if you need it. I am so very happy you're finally going to have a life of your own. I also believe it'll help you healthy wise. I know mine have helped me.
Let me know if you need anything.
((((((HUGS)))))
Donna and kits
While it's great that you are getting out of the "difficult" situation with living in your parents house, I'm just sorry you do not have the support from your mother that you should have. I hope someday you will get that from her. I do not know what I would do without my mom, even though I do not talk to her everyday.
Do you think that not living there your relationship with her will be any different? For your sake, I hope so. Yeah, they will be upset and angry about you moving, but they will just have to get over it. You are an adult and can (and will) make your own decisions. Hopefully someday they will realize that.
I am so happy for you that you will soon be reunited with your furkids. :D
Wow, what a difficult situation! I haven't had much time for the forums (and rarely come down to General)so forgive me for only seeing this now!
I think Karen's idea is a good one. Get the parents out while you move - way easier! And if things are that heated, Johanna's suggestion of a cop wouldn't be bad either. At least it would keep it civil while they are there.
I'd also leave a letter explaining everything...exactly as how you see it. A letter is often better, since you have time to word it correctly, instead of in the heat of a face to face discussion.
We went through something a tad similar.....Rob's mother. She accused him of everything and anything. She told him to pick sides (parents are divorced) and said Rob was doing things behind her back (which he wasn't). As you can imagine, Christmas was wonderful. :rolleyes:
Rob decided 4 years into our relationship that it wasn't worth maintaining a relationship with his mother because of all the threats and bitterness. We haven't had any contact with her in 8 years and it is so much better. Sometimes it's better to choose who you have in your life, rather than just accepting a negative relationship that hurts your own health/well being.
I wish you the best Kelly - for your health and a new beginning. ;)
IF they hold power of attorney, you need the following ...
Revocation of Power of Attorney - allows you to revoke a power of attorney document. Go to your lawyer and get that taken care of before you move.
Gee Girl, the fewer people that know, the better it is and less likely someone lets something slip. Once out, will you then have controll of your money again? I certianlly hope so, otherwise this can get really ugly!
I have to ask, is your mother bipolar? Maybe even undiagnosed bipolar? I hate to think someone would treat their child like that well into adulthood and could help it. You don't have to answer me, it is just something for you to think about.
I will be back to work on 2/2 so I am going to have to wait until the end of Feb to find out how it went and how you are doing. Let me wish you well now and there be nothing but sunny days and peace in your life for you and your babies. May it be a wonderfully happy reunion for you and the babies.
OK, first, I need to vent and request a pep-talk of what I already know. You know how it is, right?? Then I'll answer all questions. Actually, I'll do the opposite, answers first.
OK. My parents, I owe them money for when I got my divorce, got fired 4 times due to my Crohn's Disease and needed medication, to pay my bills, etc, etc, etc. I've been paying them something (even when on unemployment and it BARELY covered my bills) each month and in the past few months that I've been more stable, they've been getting a significant payment monthly. ($500/monthly) Because I owe them money for a debt that began in 2005 (I was in the hospital for MOST of the year, jobless twice, had my surgery and left David to move on my own - then lost the apt.) they've demanded that I give them my paychecks and spousal support checks. I didn't know this when I moved home...it was "explained" one payday when my mom asked how I was going to pay for medication or a co-pay and my response was, "I'll go cash my paycheck and pay that way." (I didn't have my own checking account because I was going through a divorce - they tend to freeze your accounts during the time when it becomes final.) She said, "Oh no you wont! With all the money you owe us, you need to give that money to us. WE will work on a budget and give you what you need. That is more appropriate, don't you think??" (Do I need to say this wasn't a suggestion, or tell you what tone it was said in???? :( )
And thus, the money control began. I stressed that I needed a savings account and we put that in my mom's name. Luckily, I've had to USE that money for Christmas/Birthday presents, medication when my COBRA wasn't active and one month ALL my expenses because I had to pay for some deductables, two new tires, etc. etc. etc. I say luckily, because I wont need to "battle" with my mom to get that money as there isn't much in there!! ha ha
I physically HAND over my endorsed checks (paychecks and alimony) to my parents. This is something I will not have to do in the VERY near future (YAY!!!) and once again be in charge of my money. MY MONEY.
The timing is perfect because in February, 3 large bills will have been paid off, freeing up almost an entire paycheck. That alone can cover most of my rent and I'll still have another paycheck and my spousal support. The insurance check I'm going to be getting (as well as my spousal support) will be sent to my friend CiCi's house.
This insurance check will also be my savings - a substantial buffer for me just in case something happens work or health-wise. BUT, on those fronts, I'm doing VERY well!!!!! :D :D :D
RE: my grandma
Staci is correct, this is my paternal grandmother. While my parents include her occasionally, it would be VERY fishy for my grandma to ask THEM to do something. She's a quiet, simple person and have ZERO in common with my parents. Also, my grandmother is a HORRIBLE actress and wouldn't be able to do it. She gets upset/stress VERY easily and well, this would add to that. GREAT idea though...really, thank you so much for your brain storming...it really is helping me!
RE: Kevin, my brother
I think that I can trust Kevin to help me move and to keep things quiet. My parents only see him about once a month and he is secretive by nature anyway. He was raised in the same house and has been treated the same way...he left our family for 4 years and only recently came back. Any guesses WHY he left? ;) My mom treats him like the prodigal son...he can do no wrong and even when he does, she wouldn't DREAM of treating him like she does me, otherwise, he'd go away again.
I'm grateful that Kevin DID go away for all those years, because I know that maybe one day my mom will give me that same respect he gets now. Maybe I'll have my day as the prodigal - even though I've ALWAYS been the good one. (I don't mean I'm happy Kevin ever left, I missed him daily and would break into tears just thinking about him with worry. :( The day he called me is easily one of the BEST days in all of my life. And, he called ME....then her. He saw ME...then her. Does that tell you anything?)
Having Kevin & Krista (his gf) take my parents out for a day may prove to be an EXCELLENT idea. I could at least get some thing out of the house. I have a bunch of boxes in their storage shelving in their garage. Unfortunately, its above where you park your car, so I'll need help. That's my problem. I'll have to see if CiCi and her hubby could maybe help me.
Then Kevin could help me get my stuff out of our shared storage unit. My bed is in there - the futon that was in my Calabasas apartment. My parents pursuaded me to sell/give away most of my furnature to help me save on storage costs. It was a good idea as it saved me money and I haven't been stable health/job wise until now. But, now it leaves me without a lot of furnature. That isn't a big deal to me or Kristin and we'll get our furnature together, eventually.
I'm taking my computer...so they'll have to figure things out for themselves that way. They've only recently been using one anyway, so it wont be a huge shock for them.
The best part? I'll get to pickup ALL my kitties and take them HOME!!!!!! I'm soooooo excited!!! WOOHOO!!! This is going to be so wonderful.
VENT: Gosh, its such a long story with tons of background info. Basically my grandma called me this morning all upset and worried I was making the wrong decision. :confused: :( First, my grandma would rather live with abuse than rock the boat ANY DAY. I'll just leave it at that...it is how she views life and responds to it. I hope that gives enough information so that all you/I have to do now is consider the source and keep my faith in myself and in what I know in every cell of my body to be the right thing.
My gma knows that if I leave my mom's home, I can never return A: if she's that upset and B: she's TOLD me I only get to come home one time. Well, I'm GLADLY leaving and WOULD rather live in my car than come back to her. Gma said, "with all the times you've gotten sick and lost jobs, are you sure you want to do this??"
I UNDERSTAND her concern. But I've been working this all out for at least a year. Financially its the perfect time, job-wise it it as well. Even my health has been the best its ever been in the last 10 years! I'm even LOOKING better physically!! As soon as I made this decision, it was like the heavens opened and angels sang! I know it my heart this is right and every professional involved in my care is telling me to GET THE HECK OUTTA THERE!
Anyway, hearing her this morning made me feel...well like she didn't have faith in my health, my job, my decision, my future. I KNOW my decision is 150% correct and I need SUPPORT, not what she did.
I was very, very kind with her, of course. I thanked her profusely for her love and concern. She only wants the best for me - but we're very, very different people in very, very different situations. I asked her to continue praying for me and that I understood her concern.
Wow, did all that gma stuff make sense? Have you all fallen asleep with this WAY TOO LONG post???
RE: Letter to parents
This is most likely what I will do. But I wont be calling THEM afterwards, at least not right away. I'll need to guage the situation. I 100% expect this action on my part to "make" them sever the relationship. I don't expect them to understand ANYTHING I say to them. But, I will do it with love, kindness and respect...despite the lack that I get in return.
I AM VERY GRATEFUL to have a place to live...I'm grateful for a lot and will be very positive and repeatedly grateful in this letter.
OK, I think I addressed everything. If not, I will later.
Thank you all, for so much....
Love, Kelly & Kitties!!! (YAY!!!!!!!!!)
To sum up what my gma made me feel like:
Doesn't she know I already have in the back of my mind CONSTANTLY (every second of every minute of my LIFE!) the fear and worry that I may become very ill again and loose my job? I don't need to be reminded when my job is to DEAL with it IF it arises, not live in terror each second.
I'm trying to explain this, but don't know if I'm doing well.
I NEED to plan for IF that happens (which I have in the form of this insurance check and the savings I'll start with it) and then REMOVE the worry because that alone WILL make me sick. When she already knows my fears combined with the heart wrenching possibility that I may never speak to my parents again...it just hit me right where I worry. It added to an already overflowing sense of dread, terror. This is my LIFE. I AM terrified my life will repeat itself, but I cannot dwell on that.
I can only react and plan and pray.
Aww kelly, such a difficult situation all round, one can only feel empathy for you, you have it real tough sweetie, but Grandma means well, remember that, i am sorry she is making you feel worse, but she is only concerned for your well being, i know you already know that.
Wow you have really been caught up in a catch 22 situation here, and i completely understand now why your parents have had such a hold over you, although i cannot understand them at all,if it were me i would not even want the money back simple as that, and would support you in every way possible,it is almost like they enjoy having control over your life,personally i think it is great to raise your kids and then see them become independent, it means you have done a reasonable job.
I have done a lot of reading on crohns disease, and it is the pitts, to even beable to work as you do is simply amazing.
I wish you all the best dearest Kelly, and i can feel your excitement oozing out on these pages,take care and count down the days to your freedom again, HUGS.
Kelly, you have done, or will do, as much as you can to safeguard the future, and that is all you can do,Quote:
Originally Posted by NoahsMommy
because that is all that it is, a time to come. You cannot know exactly what will happen so ...
Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.
He is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety.
Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt, crept in.
Forget them as soon as you can, tomorrow is a new day;
begin it well and serenely, with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.
This new day is too dear, with its hopes and invitations,
to waste a moment on the yesterdays...
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Be bold--and mighty forces will come to your aid.
- Basil King (1859-1928) Cleric and writer
Good luck sweetie, you will be in my prayers.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...iles/Hugs2.gif
Gosh, I just know you will thrive on your own Kelly. As I said in a previous post, take the high road. Don't assume anything, including knowing what will happen and how your folks will respond, and why! I know that it is tempting to try to predict, but it is also dangerous. Of course it is best to have plan a, b, c etc. ready for application, but to spend too much time wondering how someone else will react, well, it is a waste of your time. You deserve a break my dear, and you should concentrate on you and your needs and not wondering about what is in someone else's head.
Will you fail at this attempt to live on your own? Probably not. Anyone of us could come up short in our living situations. I bet I moved home three or four times as a young adult. It is why they call it home. It is a safe place to be. Unfortunately your Mom has taken home to an entirely different place. Sounds more like prison to me. She sounds like the warden and not Mom.
As far as your health is concerned, well, again, anyone of us could run in to a problem. I know I have and made arrangements to work with the problem until it was cured. You can always move here to Vermont. Don't forget that.
I wouldn't write your Mom off quite yet. She may surprise you and deal with this in an adult like way. I don't blame you for wanting out. I wonder why she is so mean to you? You need to distance yourself from her, and this seems to be the way.
So Kelly dear, chin up. You can do this. Keep your eyes open and your spirits up. You have so many cheer leaders here.
Love,
Sas and her campers
Sign for your grandma, God bless her :) : "My mind's made up - don't confuse me with the facts." ;)
You are so doing the right thing!! It even comes across in your posts how much better you feel about life :D
Your grandma is just concerned for you so you did well in letting her say her piece but don't let her put you off your future!!!
As for your parents, at the end of the day it will be up to them to keep the lines of communication open between them and you. You are hoping to have contact with them but if they choose not to then it is their problem and their loss!
Don't dwell on the past - thats over and done with and it can't be changed or repeated. Things are on the up for you!!!! and we are all here for you to help out in any way we can - you will never be alone
Update: Its going to be reallllllyyyy quick and I can't address your recent posts until I have some privacy online. But I wanted to update you! :)
#1...Kristin and I met and I gave her the money so that we're official! We've decided to make up our own lease agreement and have already approved our first draft. :) (We both wrote it, I typed it and emailed it to her. Waiting for changes/additions. When we're done, we'll get it notorized.)
#2...I spoke with my brother's girlfriend, Krista and she was SOOOOOOOO supportive! She said they'll help me move WHENEVER and we can use her dad's truck!!! That'll save me a ton of money (that would have had to come from my ins. check)! :D ALSO, she said they'll take my parents away for lunch or even the day on 2/2 (moving day for me and the cats). Kristin is fine with me bringing my stuff AND would LOVE it if I brought her a kitty or two to keep her company until I got there!!! (She actually asked me if I could!!! YAY!!)
#3...I overheard my mom mention that next Saturday (the 26th??) there is some grand opening at a Trilogy place they want to go to. God is smiling down upon me/us - this thing they're going to is like, 4 hours away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!! They may even "make a weekend out of it"! That would give me a ton of time to get my boxes, my room and anything else packed!!! WOOHOO!!!!
Isn't this all so wonderful??? I'm so happy. Thank you my PT Family - my Angels. Thank you, God!!!!
Love, Kelly & Kitties
:) :) :) :)
P.S. Oh! I changed my Spousal Support address to CiCi's for my next check (February). Its all so exciting!!!
Kelly, this is wonderful news!! I am so excited for you!! :D :D
wooohoo!!! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by NoahsMommy
Wonderful news. Congrats, dear.
Kelly, thanks for the wonderful update.:) Since it sounds like your parents may be gone for the weekend of the the 26th, then maybe after you pack some boxes you could start taking some of your things over to your new place.:)(that is if Kirstin doesn't mind) and hopefully your mom wouldn't notice that some things were missing. I know that you're doing the right thing and that you'll feel much better after your move. Good luck.:)
Wow...I haven't had the chance to get back on here for a bit....but it looks it's working out...... Congrats Kelly!! I bet you can't wait!
Fantastic!!
I just read your latest update. What wonderful news! We're all so happy for you! Fate and God is smiling down on you. Soon it will all be better :)
Congratulations Kelly! I'm so glad to see everything coming together for you! All paws and fingers crossed things go smoothly!!!
Fantastic news! Well done, Kelly, and best wishes with the big move!
Pat
Aww Kelly i am just as excited for you too, this is indeed the break you need dearest Kelly,all the best sweetie, for a smooth shift and a great life ahead of you.http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/i...lnz/woohoo.gif
http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/i...angelkitty.gif
Awww, thank you for sharing in my excitement. :)
Only 12 days!!! YIPPEE!!!!!!!! :)
Here's a link from PT explaining what's going on: http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthre...&page=16&pp=15 (link opens at page 15, where most recent update began)
Good news is that I'm ESCAPING this hell-hole. Well, its nowhere near a hell-hole in all ways but emotionally! I've reached that point and I've about JUMPED way over it. I'm done dealing with the constant lack of respect, meanness, rudeness, and abuse I'm inflicted with daily. Daily from people (well, at least my freaking mother) that should be acting the exact opposite! Ugh.
Move-in date is 2/2/08 and I cannot wait!!!
I'll try and post some pictures of floorplans, etc here....
Floorplan:
http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w.../floorplan.jpg
Floorplans above: Its 1166 sq feet and is a dual master. Looking at the plans like the are now, just above this sentence, my bedroom is the one on the LEFT side. See how my very own bathroom is INSIDE my room? Meaning, in order to get to the bathroom in MY room, you'd have to come INSIDE my room - LOVE that privacy! The entry is at the top of this picture, in the middle. We enter into the living and dining rooms, with the kitchen low bar right there as well. There are WINDOWS galore! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE natural light and this place is dripping with it! We get AM sun and can see the sunset from the balcony. We do not get afternoon sun, not the hot stuff. Bad for some roses, but most plants will grow on our balcony - which btw my room opens up onto!! There is a sliding glass door via the dining room as well. See? TONS of natural light!
MY closet is GINORMOUS! It could be a den or something! I'll be putting the litter boxes in there, along with anything else I want! ha ha :)
OK, here are more pictures and I'll keep going...oh, these pictures are from the ArchStone website, not the acctual apartment:
http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w...oorkitchen.jpg
This is the entry door (see that door???) and the kitchen with the bar surrounding. Don't you love the cabinets and those two nice windows?? Its so nice and well-lit without much artificial light.
http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w...diningroom.jpg
Here is the dining room and the kitchen. That door way leads to my room - if this was our apartment. Its funny though, its the exact layout, model, colors, etc. We just don't have that "stuff" or furnature. Its nice seeing these pictures to remind me, I didn't realize the kitchen cabinets had that ledge area for us to put stuff up there to decorate...fun!! :)
http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w...insmaster2.jpg
The model's version of Kristin's room. Aren't the windows lovely? Oh, did I mention we're upstairs?? Not sure if I did or not. I love and much prefer upstairs units for safety reasons - and they tend to offer more of that natural light I keep talking about.
No pictures of my room but there's one of my bathroom - I think.
http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w...t/bathroom.jpg
We also have a washer and dryer enclave over by the front door and Kristin's bathroom. OMGosh!! That is soooooooooo wonderful - that was just icing on the already wonderful cake!!
http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w...t/exterior.jpg
This is the exterior of the apt complex (Archstone) down over by the main enterence. Our outsides are stucco, I think. Will find out...
More coming in next post...
http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w...t/poolarea.jpg
If I'm not mistaken, this is not the pool that is the closest to us. Not sure....will ask Kristin. Its pretty though. :)
http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w...verett/spa.jpg
The Spa and Shower...but not the closest one to our place....
http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w...verett/gym.jpg
Our very own Gym! YAY!!!! I'm already working on the healthful eating, on to the working out part! :)
http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w...nesscenter.jpg
We are free to use our Business Center. Through that door on the upper right side is where we can use the internet, printers, FAX machines and copiers! Isn't that kind of nice?
OK...all done. :) I hope you liked the pictures. I'll eventually get some up of the actual apartment...not just the models.
Moving day is coming soon, THANK YOU GOD!!! I just sat down for my last (again, Thank YOU!!) "budget meeting" where they rub in my face how they CONTROL every cent I have. Ugh...thank GOD its over now.
Love you all!!!
What an awesome place! I am so happy for you. I can almost hear your happiness :D Not long now and you'll have a totally different life. It's so good to see the change in you already. That's bound to be good for your health.
Beautiful apartment! You and your kitties are going to be so cozy there!! It's going to be great! Hang in there. February is just around the corner! :)
Kelly, I'm thrilled with your excitement at a new phase in your life. Believe me, I not trying to second guess your judgement when I say this - it's that I just wish there were a way for you to feel comfortable about telling your mother that you are moving out and why you feel you need to do that. It's not that I don't understand, I do. I just wish it were different. Seems like this method will only be another arrow in her sling if you know what I mean.
Thanks for the pictures. It appears to be an absolutely lovely apartment. Hugs and wishes for all the best life has to offer.
I'm so happy this is all working out. Woohoo!! :D
Oh Kelly the apartment is a dream come true, in more ways than one eh? it is so luxurious and you will have a pool, gym,spa facilities too, lucky you, you deserve this dear girl, i am over the moon for you. :)
The apartment sure looks gorgeous and very spacious too.:) I bet that your furkids will enjoy being able to look out of so many windows.:)
I love that you'll have your own bathroom - makes it easier to quarantine somekitty if ever need be!
It looks great, and I hope you will be very happy there. We're all pulling for you!
Congratulations! I know what it's like to have a controling mother. It's a hard thing to do, getting out from under a family members grasp but in the end I've found it's very worth it.
You are going to be so happy there - it looks wonderful
Thank you all so much for the nice comments on the pictures of my new place. Oh how I long to be there, to have all this overwith.
I had a setback last night involving my brother. You know, it seems as though the only person I'll be talking to that are actually related to me will be my grandmother.
Sit back and grab some popcorn...here's a story for you all. Audience participation requested as I'm conflicted and really need advice.
OK...First, let me give you a little background information. I had thought my brother, of all people, would understand why I'd want to get the heck out of my parents house. He, about 6 years ago, left our family for over 4 years. He didn't dramatically leave - we all met him on his 21st birthday for breakfast (we as in our whole family: mom, Jerry, me, David, aunt, uncle, cousins, etc.) and shortly afterwards, we never saw him again! He stopped returning our phone calls altogether and his phone was disconnected. We tried his friends, I tried his ex-girlfriend and her family who I KNEW was in contact with him and they refused to help me find him for my wedding (!!!!!) or he just didn't want to come, who knows. He ended up "finding himself" or that's what mom and I call it as when he called 4 years and 6 months later on Easter mid-day, he never offered an explaination. We've had him in our lives again and mom acts as though he's the prodigal son. I get that she doesn't want to do anything to make him go away again, but its like we're reverting back to when we were kids. Kevin always got away with EVERYTHING, I didn't even ATTEMPT to do anything remotely bad and I STILL got in trouble for stupid things.
Anyway, in the past 6 or so months, Kevin hasn't been acting himself...not the Kevin I knew and loved. I think he has a drug problem, he's aggressive, mean, rude and really moody. I went on a "will NEVER, EVER do that again" camping trip with Kevin and Krista in August and it was torture because I didn't drive and was stuck there with him. He picked up and threw my tent accross the campsite, never thanked me for giving them all the money I had (I wasn't working) to my name for extra food (I brought my own), alcohol (I don't drink), and the camping spot which he complained about the entire time, was aggressive with Krista (she's a tiny thing and he's a burly iron worker) and interchanged being RUDE to me or ignored me the entire trip. What horrible act did I do to deserve such treatment? I spoke back when he turned his agression and mean attitude towards ME. (oh no he didn't!!) This was after holding my tongue for the entire ride up there, 2 hours trying to find his friends in a huge, dark camping spot (who finally pulled up after the tent throwing incedent), checking in (with MY money), and him yelling at us for not being able to find his friends and that his cell phone didn't work! :mad: I spent the entire weekend without cell service either and ignored by him. Krista, who I thought was smart enough to remain on my side (you know what I mean) was all NICE to him after the oh, 10 blow up fights they had in 36 hours! Not only that, but they would go fishing and I'm thinking I'm a guest and would get to go too...yea, no. They'd pick up the poles Kevin got all ready (they brought 4 and he'd gotten all 4 ready each time) and Krista would say,"OK, Kelly, we're going to go fishing (at this point, I'd stand as if I was taking this as an invite, silly me!) now, so we'll see you later." (doh! OK, guess I'll just stay here then!) Oh what fun I had!!!!!!!!!!!! I sat at a hot, gross campsite. Thankfully, his friends were actually NICE and I spent the time with them. See, I'm not bed, your friends seem to like me, you jerk! Two days later when we got home, Kevin called to say Krista had broken up with him. Hmmmm, I wonder why?
Of COURSE, they're back together and he'll be good for 5 minutes and then be back to his druggie, mean, aggressive, demanding, self. NICE! At TWO of my mom's social functions he's publically fought with Krista (she had manners and tries to get him to stop or at least go outside) and then LEFT the function with her stuck there! All my parents friends see this, or notive Kevin not there and start asking my mom and I questions which utterly humiliate her. She's been saying for a full year that she's "going to have a TALK with him!!" with her stern face on. Yea...that'll happen!
And I do what, to warrant that type of "talk" from my mom? go out on a Sunday with my GRANDMA and stay out till 9:00 or 9:30? Yes, I'm such a bad daughter, so inconsiderate!!!
Anyway, sorry for all that. My posts seem to be getting longer and drama filled. :rolleyes: So, I think my brother is still taking whatever the heck drug causes you to be evil, because he's been an utter s*it to me!! :( :confused:
Here's what has happened since my last update on the apartment/escaping plans/issues:
*As I updated you all, I spoke with Krista on Thursday night about my plans and she was very supportive: offering to help me move, to get dads truck so I wouldn't have to encure that cost, telling me that they'd do anything they could to get my parents out of the house for me, etc, etc. We talked some more and I kind of told her about our childhood, something Kevin NEVER talks about to her - isn't that kind of wierd? I mean, NEVER talks about. Who would date someone that wont talk about his childhood, thats what relationships are, the good AND the bad. If anything, at least she'd be able to understand some of the crap he puts her through! I'm just amazed, she's such a mature, smart girl, I don't know why she's wasting her time. (ugh, sorry, wrong thread!!) Anyway, she did say that he told her the reason he wasn't living with or talking to his family when she was with him those years we weren't talking/knew where he was, that he "didn't agree with the rules his mom had" and so "I moved away for awhile". OK, so obviously SOMETHING happened you didn't like. You told Krista that! She told me that she'd let me tell Kevin the good news and that my secret was safe with them, and that she was proud of me and really excited for me.
*That call to Krista was 1 of 4 I made to their phones. 1 each to their cell phones, 1 to the phone in their room and 1 to the main home number - which she picked up. So based on the messages I left, they knew, "I had some really good news I wanted to share with them. To call me so I could tell them the news and that btw, its something I DONT want mom and Jerry to know about." That was Thursday night.
*I'm in my room on Sunday night and my brother calls JUST as my mom and Jerry walk into the house, so I tell Kevin, "I can't talk, but I'm moving out, to an apartment, mom and Jerry CANT know...I can't talk, but I'll text you and call you tomorrow, OK???" I hang up and text him the following: 'Kev, I cant talk now because mom and jerry are home and they ALWAYS seem to listen! I can call u tomorrow to tell u about it? hugs, kelly'
*I leave my phone off during the day...and also when I'm in an appt, going through a line (anywhere)
Gotta go, will finish when I get home...
Kelly,
Sure sounds like drugs to me. Either Crystal Meth or something else. You need to concentrate on yourself and your cats. Your brother is a big boy and can take care of himself. The less you worry about your family and brother, the stronger you'll grow.
And don't feel bad about your brother packing up and leaving. I have my only living sibling (brother, older by 5 years) sell his house in Shrewsbury, Mass. and move to Hendersonville, NC without even telling me!!!! I had no clue he sold his house until one day I happened to ask him. He has totally disassociated himself from the rest of the family (cousins) and hadn't spoken to my father in 20 years before he died. The only time I see him is at weddings and funerals. To this day I just don't understand why. Don't think I'll ever get an answer.
I'm so very happy for you, Kel. If anyone deserves a break, it's you. I'm excited about your new place and getting every one of your furkids back.
(((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))
Donna
I was actually wondering about steroids after some reading I did tonite. :confused:Quote:
Originally Posted by moosmom
Not to change tha subject back to Noah ...
Edit ... never mind.