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O Aly :::hugs::
I can't stop crying. your post remind me of when I lost my one and only baby boy. The pain you go through is horific and although they say it does ge easier, it is hard for a long time. I'm still waiting for the "it gets earier" part to happen. ::hugs:: Aly, you are a wonderful mom. Peka knows how much you love her, she couldn't have asked for anyone better.
And Aly. You are a GREAT mom. Don't you ever think diffrent.
Ash
Dear Aly:
This poem says better than I could ever express in my own words how much Peka thanks you for all the love you gave her in her last year, and how much she thanks you for letting her go to the Bridge.
She'll always be with you...
Hugs...
FROM FRIEND TO FRIEND
You're giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last few cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.
But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.
So looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic, that will
Once more make me whole.
The strength that you possess,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done,
For it's the only way.
That strength is why I've followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I've loved you all these years...
My partner 'til the end.
Please, understand just what this gift,
You're giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I've lost,
And all my dignity.
You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it too.
So one last time, I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that's within you,
To now grant me this appeal.
Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady dog,
My pain and struggle done.
And don't despair my passing,
For I won't be far away,
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory I'll stay.
I'll be there watching over you,
Your ever faithful friend,
And in your memories I'll run,
...a young dog once again.
In Memory of Asta, Feb. 1997
(c) Karen Clouston
<wiping tears away> Aly, you are an angel. Peka knows that and is very happy not being in pain any longer. Bless you and Peka... I know this wasn't easy.
:(
RIP, sweet Peka.
So very sorry for your great loss of Peka. She will live on in your heart forever. Hugs.
Aly I am so sorry. I have been where you are now several times and it hurts so much. Just cling to Reece, Lolly and Shiloh and those adorable little babies who still need you so much. Peka understands and she is at peace and without pain. (((hugs)))
*HUGS* to you Aly.
Aly, I wish there was something I could say that would make you feel better and take away the hurt. Please know that we are all crying with you and share your sorrow.
RIP Peka and say hi to Toshie. Hugs to you Aly for going through with this. You are stronger than you know.
Sail on silvergirl,
Sail on by.
Your time has come to shine.
All your dreams are on their way.
See how they shine.
If you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind.
Oh, Aly, I am so sorry that you had to make that final decision for Peka. Only those of us who have had to do that can understand how terribly hard it is both before and after. As others have said, you gave Peka so much in this last year...more love, more care, more consideration than I believe many humans receive in their waning years. You are an Angel of Mercy. Peka knew you loved her deeply. As for not staying with her during the actual transition, I also am one who could not do that with either of my two RB girls. Like you I felt just awful about my failure to *be there*, but I just couldn't imagine seeing the life drain from the ones I loved so deeply. I too would not have been able to breath. Although I certainly wished I would have had the strenghth to stay, I recognize my own personal limitations. If presented with the opportunity to go back and do it differently, I still wouldn't be able to stay. I doubt my two judge me for the last minute of their life, but for our lifetime together.