behavior changes

Aly,
Just wanted to say that I hope you are doing better today and you will be in my thoughts. Hang in there.
Sue

Aly, we know what a difficult time this is for you and I have been thinking about you all morning. Give your babies a hug from all of us.

Here's the update, its going to be hard for me to write so I don't know how long or short it will be. Thursday was pretty uneventful. I just spent time with him and worried about Friday. The day seemed like an eternity but at the same time it seemed like it was over in a flash. I couldn't fall asleep until around 5am and I woke up at 6:45am on Friday morning.

We packed up all of his toys, bowls, food, etc. I loaded the car and went to my sister's with the dogs so we could say goodbye. We took Harley and Reece to the park to play. I left Reece to stay with my sister while I was gone and Harley and I started driving at about 1:30. I didn't have anyone come with me because I sort of wanted to say goodbye to him alone. This was probably a really bad choice because it ripped me apart. We drove for about 3 hours and I made one last stop at the lake where we spread Dessi's ashes. I walked Harley around there and we talked to Dessi. Harley sat on my lap and licked my face. He sensed my mood and was telling me everything would be okay.

We got to his foster home around 5:30pm. He walked right in and started pooping. The little wh fox terrier he's with is such a sweetie but she will put him in his place if he crosses boundaries with her. Everything between them seemed fine and they mainly ignored each other after some sniffs. Harley was having a good time playing with toys. He also walked around the backyard and peed on everything.

When it came time to say goodbye, I was in pieces. Harley really didn't care much. That helped some. He was struggling to get away from me so he could play with the toys some more. I feel very comfortable with him being there but my heart is broken because I love and miss him so much.

This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I pray none of you are ever put into this position. Thank you all for your beautiful words, they bring even more tears to my eyes. Through all my tears, I realize I did what had to be done and I know Harley will be better off when he gets to his new home. Shiloh can also be in peace. She seems to already know he's gone for good because she's been running around at top speed all morning pouncing on me and Reece. Reece has chased her a little a few times but he is very gentle. She loves antagonizing him. He wasn't really playing with her too much but I think in a few days these two will be playing well.

I hope no one looks down on me for my decision. I only did it because it was the only way I knew of to allow all three of my animals to be happy. Harley's life was very hard for his first seven years but I feel so fortunate to have been able to rescue him and show him what love is. Hopefully his new owners will love him like I do and maybe he'll even go to a home with a fox terrier friend. I will remain in contact with his foster mommy and so I will update you all on the adoption process.

Aly, what you are experiencing is grief, and it is a natural thing for you to go through. Some of us have experienced grief in making the choice of euthanization for a very sick or infirm furkid. There is no manual for these decisions, no place where it is written out for what is the "right" thing to do, consequently we are filled with conflicting thoughts and emotions...with doubt as well as loss and the enormity of the responsibility to our little loved one.

If any of us felt that the choices you have made were casually made or ill conceived, you should know that we would have spoken up in a heart beat and given you more unsolicited advice than you could even imagine. I doubt that there is anyone on this board who doesn't feel that you made the right decision for Shiloh or for Harley. Yes, you will miss him, but please, please, don't doubt the choice you made. You made the best choice that was humanly possible given all the circumstances and conditions that prevailed. And yes, this grief you feel will be with you for awhile. But you have to work at not letting it consume you. After I finally made the decision to have my dear, sweet Tizzie euthanized, I was in such a state. I had to limit the times which I would allow myself to even think about it. I selected the times I was taking a bath or shower. Those where the times I cried and cried. Other times, I just didn't allow myself to think about it. This let me grieve, but not go into a depression. Now try to get a lot of rest and eat with nutrition in mind as you have been under much stress. Our thoughts are with you.

[This message has been edited by RachelJ (edited April 21, 2001).]

Oh Aly, you are so tenderhearted, you poor thing. I agree with Rachel, we all have dealt with tough decisions when it comes to our pets, Rachel was very sympathetic to me when I was considering taking Shai back to the HS if she ran away again. I felt and still feel awful thinking of that, but when you are at your wits end, you have no choice. For me it was the heartache of watching her run and not come back, or getting hit by a car in front of me. For you it was the safety and happiness of your beloved Shiloh.
Even now with Shai's epilepsy, if it comes down to it and it isn't epilepsy and a brain tumor, whether or not to have a CT/MRI, and whether or not to treat it. I have already decided as much as she is my heart and soul, I couldn't in good concious prolong her life and suffering. Would her quality of life outweigh my desire to keep her around? I don't think so. She is such a sweet soul, I couldn't stand to see her suffer.
After much ado, and babbling on, I am trying to say, dear Aly, we support you in your heartwrenching decision, and whenever you want to talk about it you can get on here and talk to us or email anyone of us. I wish I had your address, I would send you a card.


[This message has been edited by shais_mom (edited April 21, 2001).]

[This message has been edited by shais_mom (edited April 21, 2001).]

Aly,

I know how it feels to part with someone special to you. I had a goffins cockatoo, I had her for 4 years. I got her as a handfed baby, it was truly love at first sight with her. Even though she was $900 I had to have her, it was an instant bond for the both of us (and she was from a pet store that I worked at and trusted that only sold tropical fish and handfed, captive born birds, no puppies or kittens). I named her Pica because her and I would play Peek-a-boo at the store while I worked on raising $900 to buy that beautiful white angel baby. When I finally took her home, she fit into my house like she was truly at home. She was my baby, she was my infant, she was my precious angel, she was the most important thing in my life...even more important then my dogs if you can believe that. I noticed that about a month after I got that precious creature that my asthma got a bit worse....then a bit more worse...then I went to different doctors and allergists, after about 3 1/2 years I had to decide....health or Pica...health or Pica....health or Pica. I actually decided I would rather have Pica...until my asthma got so bad that I would take 2 puffs of my inhaler, then 10 minutes later need more puffs. It became a different choice...life or Pica...life or Pica...life or Pica. On my final night with Pica she actually slept with me on my bed all night. We had taken naps together often and she'd preen my face and hair until I fell asleep but on our last night together I let her spend the whole night snuggeling and dreaming with me. It will be those special memories that I will hold in my heart forever.

I ended up making that most painful, dreadful decesion I have ever done. It was harder then putting my beautiful lab to sleep. It was harder then seeing the first stray cat that I saved dart outside and get struck and killed by a car...it was harder then anything I have ever done, and hopefully I will never have to go through that much grief again. I ended up giving Pica to a wonderful stay-home mother who had other birds for Pica to play with. It was the best thing for everyone. Pica got to be with other featherheads, and I got to breath easily.

To rehome a beloved animal may very well be the most dreadful thing and it takes alot of strength and bravery. It took tremendous strength and bravery from me, and it did for you as well. You did it. This was the hardest part, it all gets easier from this point on....and if you can keep in contact with his new owners that's perfect.

I am so sorry you feel so much pain, it's such a crummy feeling...and I so much remember packing up toys and bowls and typing up a decription of the pet and that long drive....I am balling now. Reading your description of the final moments tugs at my heartstrings tremendously.

Aly, my heart sincerely goes out to you in this sad time. I know that it's not sad for the animals, Harley's going to have a blast, and my Pica has a wonderful life now, but it's sure sad you had to make such a painful decesion.

Love,

Leslie

Hi everyone. I'm still having a hard time with this but I'm trying really hard to act happy for Reece because he gets really upset when I'm upset. I had a lot of good distractions today. My uncle from Chicago is in town. I went with him, my sister, and her roommate to a state park. We brought Reece and he had a really good time. We walked on some wooded trails to a stream with a lot of rocks and small waterfalls. Everyone we passed had to stop and pet Reece. At dusk, we went to this bridge downtown where tons of bats fly out from every evening. Reece was a wimp at first and was shaking. I'm not really sure what he was afraid of but he got quickly adjusted and had a really good time. Everyone wanted to go out to eat dinner but I made them go to Sonic so we could take Reece http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif When we got home, he and Shiloh actually played. She is very trusting of him and rolled on to her back in front of him and batted his face.

I got an email from the woman Harley is staying with and he's doing great. She's treating him wonderfully and I think he's just having the time of his life.

Aly...This is great news! It sounds like Harley is going to be fine. What a wonderful ending to all of the turmoil. I hope you can still keep in touch with Harley's foster mom and even with his new forever mom when that happens. Reece and Shiloh playing....what a happy mental picture I have in my head!!! That is just wonderful! Maybe you could send us a picture or two. http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif

Aly,
That's good news. I'm glad Harley's doing well. Take each day one at a time. They say it gets a little easier. You know you did the right thing.
Sue

Leslie,
What pain you must have felt! My asthma ALMOST caused me to lose my first GSD. Back in the 70's, before all this wonderful asthma medication we have now, I discovered that I was severely allergic to my new GSD puppy. My asthma was so bad. I was sick constantly. Through some extreme good luck, I was introduced to an allergist who agreed to work with me (after I refused to get rid of my puppy!). The treatment worked and after one year of shots, I became tolerant of my dog. It was a long and hard fight, but it was well worth it! Today's medicine keeps my asthma under control. I know how devastating it was to give up your beloved bird. My heart goes out to you.
Sue

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***Save a life, ADOPT***

[This message has been edited by Sudilar (edited April 22, 2001).]

Aly,
That's good news. I'm glad Harley's doing well. Take each day one at a time. They say it gets a little easier. You know you did the right thing.
Sue

Rachel your advice really helped me. Every time I think about Harley and the past week, I can't help but cry. So I've been trying to wait until I get in the shower to think about it. Then I just let go and cry. When I get out, I try to regain composure for Shiloh and Reece. My moods affect Reece more than any other dog I've ever seen. Knowing I have to take care of these two helps me be stronger. If I didn't have them, I'd be in a fetal position on the floor.

Aly, Rachel has excellent advice as always. http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif I'm glad you have Shiloh and Reece to get you through this. Any pet owner can tell stories of how their pets have helped them get through hard times. I may sound a little biased, but I do think poodles are very intuitive. All of mine have shown an incredible sense of when things are wrong and rise to the occasion to cheer me up! Reece sounds like such a sweet, sensitive little guy! Glad you're not on the floor in a fetal position! If you were, though, I'm sure Reece and Shiloh would be laying right next to you trying to get you to play!! That's what my cats and dog do when they see me on the floor! http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif

[This message has been edited by Pam (edited April 23, 2001).]

Aly, you really are being so incredibly brave, and my heart just aches for the pain and saddness you are experiencing. But blessedly, you have Shiloh and Reece there to distract you, NEED you, and comfort you! I too have gotten "on the floor" at times, and over my girls come, running, licking my face and wondering what's wrong?? I've always found the best place to let it all out is in the shower. Just cry all you want, as loudly as you want. There isn't too much greater a pain than the one you are experiencing. Thankfully you have the knowledge that Harley is safe and happy. And, when you are stronger, just think how excited he will be to see you again. Hold tight to Reece and Shiloh. They love you!!!

Leslie. Your story of the beautiful Pica is just heartbreaking. What incredible love. I am sorry you had to lose such a beautiful pet of a lifetime.

[This message has been edited by tatsxxx11 (edited April 23, 2001).]

Harley is still doing good in the foster home. He is probably going to a home in Washington and will be the only pet. This is probably good because you can't exactly do a dog intro easily from that distance. If he didn't get along with their dog, I'd hate for him to be tossed around even more. He's crazy about water and has been playing with the hose and in the pond. Here are a few pics of him his foster mom sent me today. (His hair is growing back fast. I need to scan some pics I took right after I got him groomed).

http://wsphotofews.excite.com/015/2y/qu/dK/s745088.jpg

http://wsphotofews.excite.com/001/TL/FS/SS/sb82813.jpg