For EVERYONE to read

--- again with the REALLY long posts ... i've seriously got to conform to like a 300 word maximum. sorry bout that, i get verbose a lot of the time! ---


Buttercup -- I've thought about your thread here since you posted it, and have been trying to think up what I want to say. Basically, to sum it up ...

You remind me sooo much of my younger sister when she was your age! (well, except for the horse parts) :) I'm going to explain her to you a little, and see if this helps...

When she was younger, she would fight with her friends -constantly- and she was unhappy a lot of the time. She missed a lot of school, fought with our parents all the time, and fought with me as well. My sister is a passionate and vocal person, and often people just don't get her. She isn't the most tactful either, and has often rubbed people the wrong way. She has covered herself in tattoos, piercings, and dresses in black, so getting a conventional 9-5-work-in-the-office-cubicle-world will likely never be for her.

But ... she graduated from college, and now works as an Adult Day Program Coordinator for Social Services, and the old folks --- THEY LOVE HER! Shes passionate about what she does, and is a very vocal animal rights activist.

So, I guess what i'm getting at is that there is a place for you in life, no matter what. How you deal with the people around you will dictate in a lot of ways how they deal with you as well. My sister has lost -many- friends over the years, and has gone though many many hard times. If you are rude, and hard to be around, then you will have to be prepared for people to be rude and abrasive back - it is human nature. My sister has gone through the same things, and it is her choice to act the way she does, and has accepted the fact that not everyone will like her because of it.

Because of how she dresses and is pierced and tattoo'd, she HAS limited her work types - she will never work in an office like I do, but she has found something she loves to do. She was lucky, in that where she works and the people she works with accepts her for who she is -- not everywhere or everyone would be willing to give you the same acceptance (judging by some of the responses to your tattooing here). That is also human nature.

Even with tattoos, theres a lot of places that it doesn't matter as much - IT departments, a lot of social work places, Art and Graphic Design, Marketing, and more progressive companies to name a few. Dealing one-on-one with customers directly will likely -not- happen with heavy tattooing though, so you're limiting a lot of the kinds of jobs you might be able to get dealing with the public. Also, getting a job with tattoos is more likely in a large city where people are more used to that (like Toronto), than smaller towns might be.

I'm not going to preach on the school thing - that seems to have been covered already by other posters - the only thing I would recommend is to learn how to learn - school is good for that. It will help you once you are in the work-a-day-world, since every day you will likely have to learn new things and apply them to your job.

My sister and I are almost completely opposite, and we've had a lot of differences over the years, but we love each other, and I've accepted who she she is both physically and emotionally. I hope that the people in your life (family, friends, etc.) accept you for you as well.

Now, I'm not saying that certain behaviours, or being rude, is by any means ever a cool thing to do. All I'm getting at is that you will need to be prepared to deal with the people around you reacting the same way back if you
-choose- to continue with the actions and behaviours. No one else can be responsible for you but YOU.




... and since the Tattooing thing has come up quite often in replies, heres a story about my sister and tattooing, and people being judging of her and it. I worked in a Toy Store in a large mall near Toronto for about 5 years. I am clean cut, dressed conservatively, and was working cash. My sister and 2 of her male friends came into the store - spikes, dreadlocks, black and purple hair, piercings, tattoos, you name it. There were 2 women at my cash - about 40-50 - they look at my sister, and then one says to the other "Oh, look at that girl - she must have a lot of problems to look that way. I bet her mother has issues, and probabally never spent time with her". I turned to the woman and said "Actually, OUR mother was home with us until we were 10 years old. Thats MY sister that you're talking about, and shes perfectly fine thank you. Heres' your change, have a nice day". They turned red and left the store.

The moral? People will judge you behind your back based on how you look and act. They may also judge your family and the people you hang around with based on your outside appearance. But for the people doing the judging well --- you never know the whole story, so maybe think about it before saying something rude.

Blue Frog - WOW your sister seems EXACTLY like me!

Is she stubborn too?
I KNOW that I will never get a office job, I couldnt handle being in a enviroment like that. No effence to people who work in one I just think Id be bored stiff, I hate not being up and moving or constantly and doing hands on things.

Ive already been offered a apprentiship (sp?) at my current job , although I am going to graduate from high school. Ive only had one rude comment about my peircings in my current job placing and it was a customer. She looked at my peircing and said she felt like she was going to be sick.. I just walked away but the owner of the store said "Ya well maybe thats her way of showing her "wild" side " (because they all think I'm very quiet at work). All my co workers are so "into" that kind of stuff too though. They arent covered in tattoos or peircings but they do like them and support them. Wic is another reason why I love my job. But they only stay open till 2 or 1 and that finishing up the clipping and waiting for pick ups. I only bath them and I am done by 11-1 (the time varies). And I need more hours that is why I need another job.

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Originally Posted by buttercup132:
Blue Grof - WOW your sister seems EXACTLY like me!
Is she stubborn too?

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Yes. We called it the 'Oma Syndrome' (she took after my grandmother) - It has always been 'her way or the wrong way'. Shes open to calm discussions, but if you get her back up then she won't listen at all, and tends to keep an arguement going past when it should have ended. She got a lot better when she started seeing that some people were just trying to get her going - she stopped paying attention to them, realized that it was a no-win situation, and stopped listening/talking to them at all. She realized it was saving her a lot of heartaches just to let some things go.

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Ive already been offered a apprentiship (sp?) at my current job , although I am going to graduate from high school.

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Good! - graduating High School is definately a great plan (which means going to English Class ya'know ;) ). Theres absolutely nothing at all wrong with an apprenticeship - and from the sounds of it a hands-on job is the best for you. Having your High School diploma will keep your options open for later in life, if you decide to do something different.

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Ive only had one rude comment about my peircings in my current job placing and it was a customer. She looked at my peircing and said she felt like she was going to be sick.. I just walked away but the owner of the store said "Ya well maybe thats her way of showing her "wild" side " (because they all think I'm very quiet at work).

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And thats the best response - if someone wants to be insulting to you, walk away. Treat it as beneath you to stoop to their level - its just people trying to get you going. I'm glad that your boss stood up for you too, and you proved yourself valuable and responsible to him by not insulting a paying customer. Dealing with customers is the -best- way to learn to curb some of the things you really really want to say. When you can smile at someone and help them, even if they're rude and belligerent, and say 'thank you' out loud (and all kinds of nasty things in your head ;)) then you're ahead of the game :) Maybe your boss could let you do some extra work, like answering the phones or dealing with the customers a little more to get that kind of experience?

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But they only stay open till 2 or 1 and that finishing up the clipping and waiting for pick ups. I only bath them and I am done by 11-1 (the time varies). And I need more hours that is why I need another job.

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Have you talked to your boss about getting a few more hours? Maybe theres something you can do to help with cleanup, or miscellaneous other tasks? Just don't overdo the working while you're in school though - graduate first, and worry about the extra work second. Don't let the work get in the way of schooling right now - you've got lots of years ahead of you for working, so get the basics done first! :)

Maybe sitting down and setting a budget would be helpful to know where all your money goes - try saving all your receipts (even from a pack of gum!) for a month, and add them all up into a spreadsheet. That way, you would have enough money for your phone and misc. other things that come up.

Alicia, just a word of caution on Walgreens, Walmart, and similar retail jobs- Mine threw me into depression, it was horrible, it dehuminized me, and I got SO sick of the constantly rude customers coming in half dressed while I had to wear dress clothes. Where I work now is a museum at a historic farm. Are there any places like that around you? I have red hair and wear paperclips in my ears a lot and wear pink crocks and jeans and they could care less. Then again, I much prefer the office type job than working with customers and such. If you like kids is there a Khol Children's Museum around you? They hire highschool kids a lot and pay well. I'd also try a bowling alley. I seem to remember some girls working at ours who had eyebrow piercings.

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Originally Posted by Suki Wingy

Alicia, just a word of caution on Walgreens, Walmart, and similar retail jobs- Mine threw me into depression, it was horrible, it dehuminized me, and I got SO sick of the constantly rude customers coming in half dressed while I had to wear dress clothes. Where I work now is a museum at a historic farm. Are there any places like that around you? I have red hair and wear paperclips in my ears a lot and wear pink crocks and jeans and they could care less. Then again, I much prefer the office type job than working with customers and such. If you like kids is there a Khol Children's Museum around you? They hire highschool kids a lot and pay well. I'd also try a bowling alley. I seem to remember some girls working at ours who had eyebrow piercings.

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Thanks, I dont think I have any of those. I live in Canada so the stores varry by alot.

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Originally Posted by buttercup132

I KNOW that I will never get a office job, I couldnt handle being in a enviroment like that. No effence to people who work in one I just think Id be bored stiff, I hate not being up and moving or constantly and doing hands on things.[/color][/b]

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What does that really mean to you? **Most** people work in an office enviroment, and are thankful for it. No outhouses for potty breaks, a warmth in the winter, a colder environment in the summer, a phone for emergencies, etc. So, when you say you KNOW (though at your age, KNOW is a pretty strong word) you will never get an office job, I wonder what your plans are?

Even in the outside job market, post office workers- sometimes, construction workers- sometimes, landscaping, field engineering- most times, these people aren't really 'up and moving constantly', and still have to comply with rules, regulations, authority, and interacting with the public. I would imagine, too, that they get bored stiff, too! (Funny, I work in an office, and can't really think of many times that I have been bored stiff.).

You are young, and entitled to your dreams (as are we older folks). But, I wonder if you have really put any thought whatsoever into your 'five years out' plan.

For tatoos, piercings, hair colour, etc., feel free to treat your body as you see fit. I wouldn't hire you- which doesn't mean you are or are not a 'good person' or 'good employee', but, you don't project the right image for my economic well being. Most things turn on the almighty dollar (or euro, or peso). If your looks would turn away business, I can't afford to have you here with me. It isn't discriminatory, it is economics.

Wow, Cataholic, take it easy .. I had my plans for my future by the time I was 15. Age means

NOTHING.

There are HUNDREDS of other options for jobs out there that aren't in the office that Alicia could EASILY get hired for.

It sounds like you were hurt by her office comment.

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Originally Posted by Cataholic

What does that really mean to you? **Most** people work in an office enviroment, and are thankful for it. No outhouses for potty breaks, a warmth in the winter, a colder environment in the summer, a phone for emergencies, etc. So, when you say you KNOW (though at your age, KNOW is a pretty strong word) you will never get an office job, I wonder what your plans are?

Even in the outside job market, post office workers- sometimes, construction workers- sometimes, landscaping, field engineering- most times, these people aren't really 'up and moving constantly', and still have to comply with rules, regulations, authority, and interacting with the public. I would imagine, too, that they get bored stiff, too! (Funny, I work in an office, and can't really think of many times that I have been bored stiff.).

You are young, and entitled to your dreams (as are we older folks). But, I wonder if you have really put any thought whatsoever into your 'five years out' plan.

For tatoos, piercings, hair colour, etc., feel free to treat your body as you see fit. I wouldn't hire you- which doesn't mean you are or are not a 'good person' or 'good employee', but, you don't project the right image for my economic well being. Most things turn on the almighty dollar (or euro, or peso). If your looks would turn away business, I can't afford to have you here with me. It isn't discriminatory, it is economics.

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I can see where you are coming from but I do the same job as Alicia, Im more experience with the actual grooming but I can definatly see what she means, Im 18 years old and I cant ever see myself sitting in an office again. Hand on heart.
I've tried other jobs but I love the busy rush that comes with dog grooming! If you are used to something like that then you really do miss it, I know from experience and I was so depressed when I had to leave my old job, I worked on reception somewhere else and I did find it boring but only because Im so used to being active and to go from getting soaked, bitten, scratched etc for most of the day to sitting behind a computer all day is a big change! I cannot see myself doing any other job because I love the job Im in, Alicia should be proud, I've seen a few people try out to do dog grooming but they cant handle the pace and the constant go, She should be proud that she wants to carry on in a very demanding job.

I dont mean to put you down in anyway, I just thought I would explain what I think Alicia means :)

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Originally Posted by Cataholic

What does that really mean to you? **Most** people work in an office enviroment, and are thankful for it. No outhouses for potty breaks, a warmth in the winter, a colder environment in the summer, a phone for emergencies, etc. So, when you say you KNOW (though at your age, KNOW is a pretty strong word) you will never get an office job, I wonder what your plans are?

Even in the outside job market, post office workers- sometimes, construction workers- sometimes, landscaping, field engineering- most times, these people aren't really 'up and moving constantly', and still have to comply with rules, regulations, authority, and interacting with the public. I would imagine, too, that they get bored stiff, too! (Funny, I work in an office, and can't really think of many times that I have been bored stiff.).

You are young, and entitled to your dreams (as are we older folks). But, I wonder if you have really put any thought whatsoever into your 'five years out' plan.

For tatoos, piercings, hair colour, etc., feel free to treat your body as you see fit. I wouldn't hire you- which doesn't mean you are or are not a 'good person' or 'good employee', but, you don't project the right image for my economic well being. Most things turn on the almighty dollar (or euro, or peso). If your looks would turn away business, I can't afford to have you here with me. It isn't discriminatory, it is economics.

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Here! Here! Johanna! As a new business owner, excessive tats and piercings will turn my customers off...I promise. Mike has 2 holes in his left ear and tats on both arms above the short sleeve line....by my request.

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Originally Posted by BC_MoM

Wow, Cataholic, take it easy .. I had my plans for my future by the time I was 15. Age means

NOTHING.

There are HUNDREDS of other options for jobs out there that aren't in the office that Alicia could EASILY get hired for.

It sounds like you were hurt by her office comment.

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Hurt by her comment? Are you serious? Wow. I must go re-read my post. I don't think that could be any further from what I meant. I was actually confused by her comments, and wanted to know what she had planned for her future.

I don't know what you mean by age, and how it means nothing. That you had your plans (I don't know what they are, but, I guess I would presume they are in line with hers?), at 15, and what that meant in relation to my post. Really, your post came so out of left field I am kind of stunned. I must have hit a nerve with you, big time. Sorry about that.

I am not sure what hundreds of jobs that Alicia (assuming again that that is her name, as I just don't seem to be as embroiled in this as you might think) could get you are referring to. I saw someone suggest she apply at a bowling alley. Is that what you are thinking of, also? If so, what kind of sustainable employment is that? Sure, maybe at 15 or 16 it is 'fun', but, seems kind of limiting to me.

Wow...even as I finish this post, I am really shocked at your response, and what emotions I must have brought up. I do apologize. I can tell you I didn't mean it in the way you took it.

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Originally Posted by Muddy4paws

I dont mean to put you down in anyway, I just thought I would explain what I think Alicia means :)

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Why would I feel put down in anyway? I am chuckling here....really.

I'm not going to attack you but you need to understand that every single person on PT can make a list like yours. It's no excuse to snap at people. We ALL have problems and stressful situations.

God forbid you have to deal with something like deaths in the family, divorce or even cancer. There are PTers dealing with all that and they are as sweet as pie. This list is a bunch of excuses.

Also, the thing about people posting in the wrong sections, GET OVER IT. It's really not a big deal. People make mistakes. Of all the things you listed, that one makes me laugh. If something like that really bothers you then EVERYTHING must bother you.

You have problems, I have problems. Please try to work out your problems with the people you have them with and don't take it out on innocent people.

Ya know, I honestly thought I had it all figured out at 15 and 16 too. I also did not want an office job, sounded boring. I thought I had all the answers......then I graduated high school and started college. Sometimes life gets in the way of plans. Guess where I work now? Yep, in an office...and I LOVE it! I never pictured myself working in an office, but a few unexpected twists and turns happened along the way and I landed here. All I am trying to say is don't put yourself in a pigeon hole, but spread your wings. Life has lots in store for you, and honestly at 15 you don't know what's going to happen. Heck, I'm 27 and I still have no clue where I'm headed, and I'm ok with that now. Actually, until the end of my senior year in high school, I had not planned on attending college at all.....then I got a job at a fast food restaurant and I said NO WAY am I living like this the rest of my life! Trust me, you have tons of options and opportunity ahead of you, don't shut anything out because it might sound boring to you.....I used to think that stability, putting down roots, was just boring. I now have everything I never wanted and I couldn't be happier. :)

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Originally Posted by Cataholic

What does that really mean to you? **Most** people work in an office enviroment, and are thankful for it. No outhouses for potty breaks, a warmth in the winter, a colder environment in the summer, a phone for emergencies, etc. So, when you say you KNOW (though at your age, KNOW is a pretty strong word) you will never get an office job, I wonder what your plans are?

Even in the outside job market, post office workers- sometimes, construction workers- sometimes, landscaping, field engineering- most times, these people aren't really 'up and moving constantly', and still have to comply with rules, regulations, authority, and interacting with the public. I would imagine, too, that they get bored stiff, too! (Funny, I work in an office, and can't really think of many times that I have been bored stiff.).

You are young, and entitled to your dreams (as are we older folks). But, I wonder if you have really put any thought whatsoever into your 'five years out' plan.

For tatoos, piercings, hair colour, etc., feel free to treat your body as you see fit. I wouldn't hire you- which doesn't mean you are or are not a 'good person' or 'good employee', but, you don't project the right image for my economic well being. Most things turn on the almighty dollar (or euro, or peso). If your looks would turn away business, I can't afford to have you here with me. It isn't discriminatory, it is economics.

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Its a groomers. We have heating,air conditioning, a inside bathroom and 3 phones. The thing is they offered to do my schooling for FREE. I'm not going to pass that up. Its not some crappy low pay job either and is a carreer. Once again no effence to people who work here but its not like working at a grocerie store. Working in a grocerie store isnt really a career this is.

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Originally Posted by buttercup132

Its a groomers. We have heating,air conditioning, a inside bathroom and 3 phones. The thing is they offered to do my schooling for FREE. I'm not going to pass that up. Its not some crappy low pay job either and is a carreer. Once again no effence to people who work here but its not like working at a grocerie store. Working in a grocerie store isnt really a career this is.

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That does sound like a plan to me. And, paying for your schooling is a huge benefit. And, thank you for explaining your position, rather than attacking anyone.

I've come into this a little late, hopefully the arguements are ceasing now...

Alicia, I think you took a brave step to make a formal announcement and an explanation, from your own point of view, about your situation. I admire you for that and it takes someone with guts to be prepared for the whole variety of posts that will follow. So well done you.

Second, although PT can offer advice and words, we can't do any more than that. Don't let yourself suffer, hun. Get to those classes and give them everything you've got and show everyone you can cope with whatever comes your way. Outlook on life is the key, and everyone respects that, PTers, friends and family, and heck most of all employers! You can only make fire with the sticks you have, and my dear I know with a bit of elbow grease you can start the best darn blaze you can ;)

You know what's right in your head, I can tell you do, you just don't always feel like following it, and that's perfectly understandable, especially being a teenager and all the side-effects which come with that. Don't let other things get you down, I suggest you take a good hot bath, eat a big bar of your favourite chocolate, and go to bed tonight thinking, "Hey world, here I come!"

:D