I don't know what to say...
That's aweful.
*HUGS*
I may be at a loss for what to say, but i always have hugs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by borzoimom
My worst fears realized. Not even 1/4 into the surgery, they hit a major problem. Not to get into perticulars- but they had to abort the procedure. I have a week to heal. Then instead of 3-5 days in the hospital will be a week or a little longer. Meanwhile I have to watch for internal bleeding problems.
I am depressed.. I knew something was wrong when I woke up, and the doctor was sitting there at a chair next to the bed. At the news of what it is, I started to cry..
WHY AM I ALWAYS the "remote possiblity"???? This is now the 3rd time a "remote possiblity" has come true. When I tore up my knee after the break healed they said blah blah " and a remote possiblity the maniscus ( spelling) is so badly torn, you will wake up with a cast .. I did!. When I broke my leg last year- they said well you will have a 2-4 inch metal plate and about 4 screws in your leg, ITS A REMOTE CHANCE MORE- BUT WE DOUBT IT" - I woke up to " there is more hardward than we anticipated in your leg- its over 6 inches long with 14 screws, and two screws in the ankle itsself attaching the fibula... When I got pregnant with my daughter- " there is only a remote chance you will carry full term"- SHE WAS 3 WEEKS LATE AND CARRIED FINE.. ( ONLY POSITIVE 'REMOTE CHANCE" I CAN THINK OF..)
NOW- I am more worried and scared.. I understand they cant know all things- but that ray of hope I never would have thought of, held onto, got dashed to pieces. I can even see the fear on my husbands face...
Well- darnit ( sorry to curse) I have been saying for over a year how I feel.. Just like I did with my leg, or my knee- Doctors must think people are hypocondriacs ( spelling?).. Well- I AM NOT.. A normall active woman goes into a shell for months unable to do jack beans- even housework is a major adventure- and there isnt a problem???
You know the joke of this? Zubin is one of two therapy dogs I have that works with children with cancer- somehow he knows when things are turning. He gets silly with a child that is " not doing well", then presses his head in a childs lap " that is progressing"- only to slip suddenly out of no where into a more serious situation. He has been putting his head in my lap for months now. Pressing- like he knows something is progressing with his mother. Well ZUBIN WAS THE ONLY ONE RIGHT HERE.. I am not bashing my doctor- he is one of the top in the whole Northern Va. area and my hospital is one of the top 100 in the country- ( award and all!) so they know.. and I know they cant see all things in a ultrasound- but I would rather not have the hope, and given the worse case as " how it is" and anything else would feel like a blessing and not "dashed hopes".
I am sorry to vent- I am just upset, depressed, and now more worried. I am placing this in Gods' hand as He knows what is best for me in the future and the best way to remedy the ailment. It is terribly hard thought not to feel confused and scared..
This pet talk has been a God sent. It lets me think of anything else other than what is in my face 24/7.. I want to thank you all for your wonderful support. I have gotten so many positive wonderful pm's and I really do appreciate it.. Really!
Also, this may be helpful...
http://www.pathways-to-peace.com/
View Presentation (Only takes a few minutes to load even on dial-up.)
Make sure sound is on. (bottom left)
(For some reason i thought it looked better on my old laptop.)
I pass out the address to this site whenever i find someone in need. I also use it as a holiday card :D
Someone on a message board posted it years ago and for me it stuck. It isn't religion specific even though it's a religious site hosting it. The words spoken with in are words of wisdom. The first time i seen it, i seen how purple it was and almost closed it right away (My third least liked color then.) By the reviews people were giving it on the board though i HAD to check it out. I'm glad i did.
Hope you all enjoy. If you like it, please pass it on.